The trip would have been perfect for Youngjae if not of the person that kept on locking arms with him and calling him with endearment terms.  The boy continued to ignore his questions and act sweet and caring with him like it’s something they do normally. And to add to his irritation is the fact that his family is fond of the said nuisance and the whole courting their son thing. He was ready to push the boy on the cliff that they visited on their third but then realized that his presence was rather helpful on his purpose of coming in the island. For the whole time, he actually forgot about his problems and of Daehyun. Maybe, just a little, his sudden appearance on this trip is a blessing in disguise.

Loud laughter became a nightly noise in their rented villa and today, their fifth night is not an exception. The family plus the uninvited guest and excluding Youngjae who chose to sit alone at the veranda enjoying the fresh air decided to play some board games. Despite of the pleas from his mother, he still went with his plan of a relaxing night but then it was a stupid idea since he’s rooming with four other people that are for sure not the best companion for some quiet time.

“can you please tone down your voices? We’re not the only one here..we have neighbors you know” He exclaimed from the veranda peaking at the opened sliding door to the people sprawled on the carpeted floor.

“oh cmon, Jae..we’re just having fun..and they’re not complaining” He heard his sister replied her focus was on the cards on her hands. Then his gaze landed on the male who at the same time made some celebratory acts with his father. He couldn’t believe how fast his family adapted with this stranger. He remembered how his mother kept on praising about the boy’s kindness and thoughtfulness. He never heard such compliments from his parents and he’s their son.

One thing that really bothered him is that they especially his mother approved with him being coupled with a boy, specifically, Kim Himchan. The talk he had with his mother one morning, surprised him until at the very moment as she asked him to take Himchan as his boyfriend, quoting that he’s the best man for him and that he will never find anyone as great as him. He was expecting for some drama, like the ones he watched on TVs when the family knew about their son’s uality, and that is what he want. But, no, it was easily accepted like they already knew it and them acting the total opposite of what’s supposed to be, made Youngjae be scared of his sanity.

“good thing I’m teamed with Himchan here..Youngjae is never good at any games..” His father commented loud enough for Youngjae to hear it.

“Youngjae is not good at anything except eating..he can’t even tie his shoes properly” His sister said with a manic laugh.

“can’t even boiled an egg..or fold his own shirts” His mother added.

“thank you family..you are the best” Youngjae said striding inside and settling on the sofa across to the table where the rest were playing.

 “I’m really starting to hate you guys”

“we’re just stating some facts” His sister shrugged giving him a quick playful glance. “actually I really wonder, Himchannie..what do you like about my brother?”

“and that means?” Youngjae cut in. He didn’t like how the question implied negatively about him.

“well..let’s see..he’s cute” A soft giggle came out of his mother. “and decent..and funny”

“funny?” He shot glare at Jieun who cowered a little and went back at looking at her cards.

“and definitely lovable..but what really attracts me is he’s being selfless..he’s willing to sacrifice his own happiness just to see the person he loves smile..”

Youngjae couldn’t explain the ache on his chest as Himchan stared him on the eyes. The boy’s words were clearly a compliment but he can’t help feeling bad about it. The emotions and the memories he wanted to forget on this trip came back to him. Damn.

“that was beautiful, Himchan” His mother spoke.

“you’re one lucky guy Bro..” Jieun said with a sigh.

“I win” Himchan declared and it brought Youngjae back from daze. The boy was no longer looking at him instead he was rejoicing with his another victory. Disappointed reactions filled the room as the winner collected his win.

“do you want to join now Jae” Himchan asked him looking normal and all. Youngjae wanted to hit the boy after seeing him like he didn’t just made someone uncomfortable.

“no..i’m going to sleep” And he retreated back to his room, hoping to find the serenity he’s desiring. Stupid Himchan.

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“you’re not sleeping..are you?” He felt the mattress dipped low as another body occupied the space behind him. And by the voice, he knew well that it was someone that he won’t welcome inside his room or on his bed.

“go away..i’m tired”

Then he felt his body being pulled so he was lying on his back and facing the intruder. He groaned as he set eyes on the other who was sporting a playful grin on his lips.

 “what? this my room too, remember?” Himchan said pushing himself up to lean against the headboard. He straightened his leg on the soft cushion and moved closer to the warm body beside him.

“but I recall you have your own bed there” Youngjae pointed at foldable sofa bed. “so get out of my bed”

“c’mon Jae, it’s not comfortable there..and this big is for two people, why can’t I just”

“no..i’ll kill you first” There’s a threat on his tone but it only made the other chuckled. Then there was silence. Youngjae could hear the sounds of their breathing and it was somehow a little comforting.

“why are you doing this?”

“what?” Himchan asked looking at the boy lying at his side who was staring at ceiling above them.

“this..pretending to like me..and your so called winning my heart and all..”

“who says I’m pretending? Why can’t you believe that I really like you?”

Youngjae averted his gaze at the blank surface and looked at the other. Himchan smirked that was returned with rolled eyes.

“because you’re lying..seriously, stop it..it’s creepy” Youngjae said withdrawing his eyes from the older.

“creepy?” Himchan laughed his hand flippantly hitting the younger’s arm. “ok, maybe I got a little overboard with my skinship..”

Youngjae raised a brow on his direction.

“ok..with my honeys and babys, too”

Youngjae’s non-amused expression remained.

“what?”

 “little overboard? Really?..and how about the things you said earlier..”

“what’s wrong about it? what I said are all true” Himchan started. “you’re really cute..and decent..you’re sometimes funny and lovable”

Youngjae exhaled in disbelief.  “and how about the last one..what’s with that drama?”

“ I just stated what’s real..and if I’m not mistaken you once said ‘I rather be the one who’s hurting’..” Himchan imitated Youngjae’s tone that one time, sad and a hint of tears coming. “isn’t it being selfless?”

There was a pause. Youngjae bit his lips as the memory of his own words came back to him. I was selfless, indeed. But..

“it’s not something I’m proud of..it didn’t feel good”

 “am I seeing a regret here?”

Regret. Am i? Youngjae took some time before he was able to talk.

“aniyo..i’m just feeling sorry for myself..”

Youngjae pulled the blanket up covering himself up to his neck as he laid on his side giving his back on the other. “good night”

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Himchan watched the boy’s back and how his body moved with his breathing. A sigh escaped him before he pulled his body out of the bed. He walked towards at his sleeping spot and picked up something from its cover.

“good night” He then moved towards the door, opened it quietly as possible and exited the room.

“hey”

The deep voice reached his ears as soon as he stepped outside to the veranda. He walked towards the hammock and carefully settled on the swing.

“hey..did you talk to him?”

No reply. It made him impatient. And to add, the topic isn’t something he likes to talk about.

“Yongguk?”

“no”

Himchan let out a frustrated sigh with the other’s answer. He’s about to curse as the thought of his efforts on helping his friend gain back his boyfriend are going to waste.

“can we not talk about it?”

Another sigh came passed his thin lips as he set his sight on the night sky, resting his body in a more comfortable position on the swing.  “fine..but you should talk to him before the vacation ends..you have no idea what I’m doing..to help you”

A low chuckle came. Sound of sheets could be heard from the background making him think that the boy is at home in his bed. Yongguk is never a fan of cold days, and ever since they were young his slightly older friend would stay at bed under thick blankets at winter.

Nothing changes.

“am I allowed to know what are you up to?”

“No..you know me..i work best with secrecy..” He felt the tip of his lips tugging upward as another laugh reached his ears. Oh, how he love the sound of his laugh. That low guttural tone, like a sweet music to him.

“Where are you by the way? It was the first Christmas we were apart..it was..sad”

Do you really need to say that? Why are your words always makes me hope for something?

“Jeju..”

“what are you doing there?”

Himchan let out a quiet sigh as his eyes gazed at the few stars in the dark sky. A sad smile unconsciously appeared as a silent tear rolled down his cheek.

“being selfless..”

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…the number you’re calling is out of reach. Please try your call later.

Daehyun groaned as the same annoying lady voice mail played again for the sixth time that night, not to mention the more than twenty times yesterday. He threw his phone on the foot of his bed after feeling defeated by a recorded voice and getting tired of feeling disappointed and rejected.