READ: ITALICS are characters' thoughts/POV. GREY are flashbacks.

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“I remember everything”

Youngjae could feel cold sweats on his forehead. His breathing seemed to stop for that moment as he waited for the coming of a great blow. For that time, he gathered all his strength hoping to survive what might come next.

“except the part about how I arrived safely in my bed”

“what?” he shot his head towards the other’s direction. Daehyun looked at him through half lidded eyes and cracked a smile.

“yep..all I remember is Yongguk telling me that I look y..and his hands all over my body..and after that poof..i don’t remember a thing..i woke up and this head splitting pain made me regret all those bottles Himchan gave me..”

Youngjae couldn’t believe this. All these time, he’s been worried for nothing. He managed a smile but deep inside, a little tiny part in his heart, he wished for the opposite. He hoped that he wasn’t the only one that knew what happened.

“but that was fun..right?”

“yeah.” Youngjae stood up straighten his pants and combed his fingers through his hair. He looked down at his friend who had stretched his legs as he laid comfortably on the sofa. He could feel his heart gradually sinking down his stomach as he turned his body away getting ready to leave. He just needed to be out of that room.

“you..you want some aspirin.” Youngjae asked eyeing the medicine box on top of the fridge.

“yeah” Daehyun slurred burying his face on the cushion. “it’s on the fridge..top”

“here” Youngjae placed the glass and aspirin in the table. Daehyun lazily pulled himself up and grabbed the medicine.

“I need to go home..”

Going home was his only plan. But his feet brought him to this café. It was only last week that he was in the same situation and he couldn’t believe seeing himself again in a deep hole.

Another sigh escaped him. He swore he’s been sighing too much these days and Daehyun is all to blame.

“he’s drunk..that’s why” He mumbled to himself. He sipped the remaining already cold coffee in his cup. He scrunched up his face as the drink tasted much bitter than it was before.

Why am I disappointed? I should be happy that he didn’t remember last night. I should be celebrating that I’ve been saved..our friendship is saved. But why am I feeling down? Why am I hoping for him to remember the..kiss. can it be that I’m..

Youngjae shook his head and hit it with his closed fists [lightly].

“no..no..it can’t be..andwe..” Youngjae let out a nervous chuckle biting his nails in process.

i..i might..like him?

Youngjae’s eyes got bigger after that thought crossed his mind. He wanted to shake it off but he knew he couldn’t anymore. It can be the most logical reason for all of these. But he knew he just can’t. He shouldn’t.

Why is this all felt like a complete déjà vu? His gaze fixed on the intricate and colorful pattern on his mug as he let himself be drifted away by his thoughts. This is not the first time that came out of my mind..definitely not the first..

The young Youngjae, small and weak looking child, was always the subject of teasing and bullying. Ever since he transferred on that school his life has been all about avoiding the big kids and eating at the back of the school building. These had been his