Yongguk POV

I couldn't stop thinking about him, his hair and his skin.

Escpecially his lips, they felt so soft. Am I being too risky by thinking things like this? I must be a real idiot.

We had left the little cupcake shop earlier, and we were now walking down the streets, zelo was guiding me by the arm like always. I stared straight ahead, being consumed by my ridiculous thoughts of the person who stood beside me. I never thought that I would have thoughts like these. Never about a stranger anyways. I couldn't even see the man, and- it just wouldn't make any sense. 

"Zelo, what time is it?" I asked, trying to make it seem like I wasn't in a hurry to go anywhere, in all honesty I just wanted more time with him. Even though I had plenty of time for that, I didn't want to make it seem like I didn't enjoy being with him, that would be rude.

"Why? Do you have to go somewhere?" He asked, his tone sounded worried, he must have thought I actually did have somewhere to be, which was untrue. I was quick to tell him that I didn't have anywhere to be and that I was just curious. I smiled to reassure him, and he answered that it was 3 pm. I was a little shocked at that, we had practically been out all day together.

"Really? We've been out here for a while." I pondered on that thought, if this guy stuck around I really wouldn't mind wasting my time walking around places with him. Although I knew that I would probably get tired easily, it didn't really matter, all that I cared about was my newly acquired friend.

"Time flies." I nodded in agreement.

A few minutes later Zelo found a store that he thought I would like, I could tell when he liked a place because his grip on me would tighten and he would start dragging me around which wasnt exactly safe for me."Let's go in." He pulled both me and Bokshil along with him, and I knew Bokshil must be getting dragged around too, the poor dog. "What are you looking for exactly? Tell me so I can have an idea." He pulled me around the store, not bothering to stop for anything. I thought about it, I knew exactly what I wanted to get them.

"I want to get a beanie for Youngjae, he wears those a lot, and for Himchan, earrings."

"Okay, they have a lot of jewelry here! That's good, but they don't have many hats." Zelo went quiet, he was probably thinking again. He let go of my arm and I heard him run off in some direction, I reached out my hand and held onto a clothing rack nearby. I felt more safe when I was holding onto something, I was probably just used to it.

"Zelo?" I asked out loud.

"Wait there." He called back to me, from some corner of the store. Great, thanks for ditching me Zelo. I turned to the clothing rack and mindlessly went though it, just to make myself look like I wasn't just holding onto it for dear life. I had no idea what kind of clothes I was looking through, all the pieces of clothing felt different, I just hoped it wasn't something weird.

Zelo POV

I left Yongguk in the corner of the store and went to look for earrings and hats. I looked for the jewelry first, they were all hanging in rows on a circular shelf. I looked through each of them, trying to pick out something that I would wear, since I wouldn't know what he would like, I didn't know Himchan's taste. I picked small, silver earrings shaped like an octagon with different colors on the inside, then I moved on to find a beanie. There weren't many- so I picked a dark maroon one- with blue colors on the inside. I went to find Yongguk, who had wandered off from where I told him to stay. He was by the jackets. 

"What are you doing?" I asked him. He jumped slightly, then he tried to locate where I was at. I sighed and grabbed his hand, he went quiet for a second. Practicing, is what he told me, "Practicing what?"

"Seeing with my hands." He chuckled, a little embarrassed at being caught.

"Is it working?" I asked curiously. He shook his head.

"Not yet but it will!" Sheer determination, that's what would describe Yongguk. I have to admit, he was a bit mysterious in the beginning and kind of intimidating but he seemed to genuinely care about his friends, which was a good sign.

"I'm sure it will eventually Hyung, here- I found these." I pushed the items in his hands and he felt the surface of them curiously.

"What do they look like?" He asked.

"The earrings are silver, shaped like an octagon and with different colors arranged in a circle on the inside. The beanie is maroon and it has dark blue on the inside. Trust me, your friends will like them." I patted his hand, taking the items away from him, he smiled and thanked me.

"I trust you, I'll go pay for them," Yongguk took out his wallet from his pocket, but I suddenly remembered something that he told me. He had money issues right now- and the items were slightly expensive. "I'll pay." I told him, taking out my own wallet.

"Why?" He asked, making a confused expression.

"Because you said that money was tight, so I'll pay for you. They aren't that expensive anyways." I smiled, a little lie won't hurt anyone.

"You don't have to do that." He frowned, a little suspicious, I smiled a bit at that.

"Don't worry about it, think of it as a favor. You owe me one." I told him. He laughed. "Okay, here- hold Bokshil." I handed him the leash, then walked to the register and payed for the items while Yongguk waited. After I finished, I walked back to Yongguk and handed him the bag.

"Okay then." I grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the shop. "Tell me about your friends." I decided to use this opportunity to ask about his friends, he seemed close to them.

"Himchan and Youngjae?" He asked. I nodded. "Well, they're more like brothers to me. My mom used to take care of us all, then she got sick and well- thats when all this started." He didn't seem like he wanted to go on about his mother, so I asked a different question.

"What are they like?" We walked down the street, not having a specific destination in my mind.

"Well, Himchan- he loves himself a lot...I mean a lot. He's a little crazy sometimes but when you really need someone to be there for you, he is. He'll never let you down and even though it doesn't seem like it, he has a soft heart and he cares a lot. Sometimes too much." Yongguk smiled fondly for a second, "He's really sensitive too." Yongguk paused for a moment then continued, "Youngjae is someone who doesn't let anything get to him. He likes singing a lot, and he always tries to help. He used to feel useless and that he wasn't good enough to do anything but he definitely doesn't feel that way now." Yongguk laughed, "He makes friends easily and he's a warm person. Youngjae likes to play around a lot too. But when he needs to be, he's serious. He's also really polite. These people are my family." Yongguk smiled, causing me to smile too. Himchan and Youngjae sounded amazing. I could never live up to their standards, I would never be like them, never.

"They sound nice." I grinned, I wanted to have a family like that. The kind where you go through everything together. The kind of friends where you stick together until the end no matter what. In a way I did have one friend like that, but things hadn't been the way they used to be. I must have gotten used to isolation.

"You'd probably like them." He ruffled my hair and I laughed a little. "Where are we going?" He asked, and my grip on his arm slackened. It was comfortable being with him like this. Maybe it was better being strangers, it could be something new for both of us, its easier this way. We knew nothing about each other, we couldn't judge one another on past experiences. It seemed like something close to a blessing, maybe this could be a new start. Except, more for him than for me, I had too much to hide.

"I'm not too sure." For once I was proud to say something like this, in the past, I felt lost when I was unsure of myself.

"If were done here, why don't we go back to the apartments? I'll show you where I live." He said. I smiled, but then remembered something.

"Are Youngjae and Himchan going to be there?" I asked, hoping he'd say no, there were too many things that could go wrong with that.

"No, they work all day until really late at night, why? Did you want to meet them?" He smirked.

"Someday I will." I told Yongguk, I couldn't tell him the real reason why...because they'll see my scars and ask about them, my anxiety will be a big problem. They'll make fun of me because of my appearance and tell Yongguk not to talk to me anymore....if that happens then I don't know what I'd do. I don't think I'd be able to live with myself anymore. At the back of my mind I knew that these "problems" of mine would probably never happen but I couldn't risk it. In my mind they were real things that had happened before and so I was afraid.

"Okay, I know you'll like them. I'm sure they'd like you a lot too." I nodded, I became quiet. After a few seconds Yongguk slowed his walking, I was too lost in my thoughts to actually respond to him, I did that quite often. That seemed to be a problem too, more than I realized. There were days when I wondered if these "problems" were all in my head and I wonder sometimes if I just made them up. No. That's impossible, I had suffered too much, I can't separate myself from reality anymore no matter how much I want to.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, his concerned voice was actually quite endearing and I liked it.

"No.....well- it's just that I'm really shy around people that I'm just meeting for the first time." I told him. It wasn't a complete lie. No, I am really shy- but not just around people that I'm meeting for the first time. I'm shy around everybody, a kind of anxiousness that constricts my throat and makes me paranoid. That's part of the reason why I don't speak too much. Surprisingly Yongguk is the only person that I have ever been okay with, he's keeping me sane so far... apart from Jongup. But now that I just moved here, away from my best friend, there was no one here for me. It's a good thing I found Yongguk, like I said, it must be some form of a blessing. Yongguk suddenly held my wrist, he was good at reading situations, I discovered. That was a miracle in itself, that meant I wouldn't have to explain myself to him.

"You don't have to meet them right away if you don't want to. No one is forcing you Zelo. But you don't have to be shy around us." He offered a smile. I smiled too even though he couldn't see it. He patted my back, "It's okay, so don't worry about it." He moved his hand up to hair and tousled it. I began to blush again, I had been doing that all day, how annoying."Ready to go? I'll show you my apartment some other day." Yongguk said, finally releasing my wrist. I agreed to that one, Yongguk probably took note of my discomfort and thought it had to do with the fact that we were practically strangers. I wasn't about to tell him that he was wrong.

"Yeah." I answered and he nodded. Finally he moved his hand to my shoulders and rested his arm there. My heart sped up crazily, a tightening feeling in my chest, my eyes widened as I realized just how foolish I was being.

I finally realized something.

These feelings and thoughts I had should be stopped here. They weren't normal, and if I wanted to keep Yongguk as a friend, they needed to be pushed away.