Zelo POV

I stood in front of the old coffee and cake shop that Jongup worked at. I looked down at my shoes, I must have been getting weird stares. It was nothing new. Now that I was here, I didn't know how I could face my best friend. He knew when something wasn't right, and I'd be lying if I said I was okay.

I'm not okay. I'm not. Jongup would know that, he would force me to tell him what was wrong without saying or doing anything. I had no problem with that, I just wasn't ready to tell him anything yet, especially since I was so ashamed of myself.

Jongup lives with his hyung, Daehyun, I heard they were both good friends. Now I'm just trying to pass the time, I didn't want to go in there. I continued to nudge my luggage a little in the snow, I looked up to the sky, and my warm breath escaped my mouth. I exhaled a large puff of smoke, creating little swirls in the air.

Now I was just getting distracted...

I heard the door creak open from the side of the shop, and a handome man peeked his head out. "Hey you, kid! Come here." He waved his hand towards me. The man wore a nice thick white sweater, blue jeans and boots. Simple, but he looked nice in it. I pointed to myself with a confused look."Yes, idiot, get in here! You're living here now aren't you?" He asked, this must be Jongup's boss. I nodded timidly and he smiled. 

"Good, you seem nice. But why were you standing out there in the cold for so long? Crazy kids these days..." He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the shop while I dragged my luggage behind me. "Okay, there's an attic room above here where Jongup is staying, you should go put your stuff up there." We walked through the shop and I barely had time to look around, "By the way, my name is Jung Daehyun, I'm your new boss. Jongup's been up there all day...you know he never leaves that spot on Saturdays. He's always talking to some guys on the internet." He shook his head in frustration as he ranted on about Jongup and I nodded my head to show I was listening, "That idiot is just asking to get into some trouble. I swear this kid never listens to me." Daehyun went on and on about how Jongup met some guy on the internet and they talked nonstop. I smiled softly, Jongup never told me that.

"Jongup always texts him on the job, if I didn't know better I would have thought he was trying to get fired. Then he'll have nowhere to live. Me, being the nice person I am, I could never do that. But dont tell him I said that, he'll start slacking. Jongup really should stop being so lazy and start carrying the bags of sugar into the kitchen, it was supposed to be done yesterday. That kid is so lazy, I should just kick him out in the snow, shouldn't I? Oh, but you're his friend maybe I shouldnt say that. Hey, you better work hard while you're here, okay?" He patted my back, I stared at him wide-eyed.

I never met someone who talked so much in my life. I nodded and he ruffled my hair, I flinched.

"You're already my favorite. Okay, go get settled in upstairs and tell Jongup to get down here and clean up his mess." I nodded and walked up the set of stairs to the first door that was there, I knocked softly. 

"Daehyun, I'm busy!" He yelled, I poked my head in and smiled.

"Jonguppie hyung." I spoke softly, I hated how I almost sounded broken and unhappy. Jongup turned in his seat with his mouth opened wide.

"Junhong! When did you get here? My boss- he was supposed to tell me. That no good-" He started to grumble to himself and I patted his arm a little to calm him down.

"It's okay hyung, he's a really nice guy." I smiled and Jongup scoffed in disbelief.

"You don't have to be nice to Dae, he's so mean and always makes me work." Jongup sighed unhappily, I shook my head. Jongup never really changed no matter how many years passed. I was convinced he would always stay the same until the day he died.

"Hyung, I'm here finally, aren't you going to give me a hug?" I asked with arms outstretched. Jongup chuckled and quickly wrapped his arms around me tightly. I didn't feel paranoid anymore, instead I felt safe, I sighed in relief.

"Hey, I told you not to get taller while you were gone, but look what you did." Jongup marveled at my tall stature, I patted his head.

"No, I think you just got shorter hyung." I smiled, he laughed in agreement.

"You haven't changed a bit Junhong. A rude brat like always." Jongup punched me on the shoulder lightly, I grinned. "The only thing that changed is your eyes...Is something wrong Junhong?" Jongup asked concerned, I shrugged.

"I'll tell you later Jongup, but Daehyun hyung told me to tell you to get downstairs and clean up your mess." 

"Alright-and what mess? I didn't make a mess, I'll be back Junhong- just make yourself comfortable." I nodded as Jongup left the room. I threw my bags down in the corner of the room, my smile faded away and I stared up at the ceiling. After standing there for a few moments I finally looked around the attic room. It was a bit small, but it was nice, there were two beds situated inside the room. One was pushed against the left wall and the other was pushed against the right wall, right across from each other. The room was dimly lit and smelled like coffee and some sort of baked goods. It was comforting and I liked the room already. I walked over to the bed on the right and sat down. "Yongguk hyung...how can I be happy without you here? What are you doing now?"

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Yongguk POV

"Shut up already, Youngjae. Stop being so annoying, I told you to leave me alone." I lay on my bed, facing the ceiling with my eyes closed tightly. I was losing my patience with the two of them.

"Yongguk, stop hiding in your damn room. Just come out and eat!" Himchan's voice now rang into my ears, he was knocking on the door persistently, knowing that it pissed me off. I clenched my fists and sat up in my bed, frustration was slowly bubbling up inside of me. 

"I said no! How many times do I have to tell you idiots! Just leave me the hell alone!" I threw the nearest object that was next to me at the wall. I was aiming for the door, but I must have missed because the glass of water shattered somewhere on the wall a few feet away from me. I could feel the droplets of water fly everywhere and splatter on my skin. 

"Yongguk," Himchan warned, I knew that he was angry when he used that tone of voice. "Stop being stubborn! What's been up with you these past few days?" He continued his knocking on the door, and started to shake the doorknob too. I held my head in my hands and tried to calm the headache that was beginning to form.

"Himchan, I'm only telling you one more time. Leave. Me. Alone." I growled. Himchan's merciless pounding on the door faltered for a second.

"Just come out here and lets talk about it." He said more softly. I had enough. I stood up and made my way to the door slowly, my shoes crunched over the broken mess of glass that I made. Once I had a hold of the doorknob I unlocked it and threw the door open. I'm sure Himchan and Youngjae's faces would have been shocked.

"What part of 'leave me alone' do you not get." I seethed. Himchan didn't say a word, and I wish I just had my sight back. I never felt lonelier in that moment.

"Yongguk, just tell me what's wrong." Himchan whispered. I took Himchan's shoulder in my left hand, and with my right, I pinned him to the wall by his neck.

"I told you to leave me alone, why can't you get that?" I tightened my grip, "I feel like I'm in a ing cage and I can't get out, I can't move," I leaned my forehead against his and spoke slowly, "and you're just here laughing at me, mocking me." I paused and pushed his head back with my own. "Just leave me alone Himchan." I didn't let go of Himchan's neck instead I slammed him into the wall once and by then Youngjae was trying to pry me off of him, hitting me on the back a couple of times and yelling at me. Himchan hadn't said a word, I finally let him go and I heard violent gasping and a thud. 

"I can't-Yongguk...not...when..." Himchan voice was strained and he coughed a little, "Not when you're like this....look at you. You're crying, you're broken." Himchan was breathing heavily and I sensed Youngjae watching nearby. I touched my face, finally noticing the tears that were pouring out of my eyes. I knelt to the ground and let out a few violent sobs, I leaned against the door and Himchan was right by my side. He knew I was suffering, he didn't want me to be alone. But he's not who I wanted to comfort me, he's not the one who I wanted to be held by. His voice is not the one that I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear Zelo's voice. I wanted to feel the soft strands of Zelo's hair, and hold his hand. But Zelo wasn't here to comfort me, he wasn't here to hold me, or make me feel better.

Zelo left me. He left me.

This was merely a game to him. He was the master and I was his puppet. That was all I ever was to him, and he didn't care. 

Zelo never cared.

I was a fool.

I picked myself up off the ground and brushed away Himchan's hands. I silently walked into my room and slammed the door, sinking to the floor the moment the door closed behind me. I felt small pieces of glass being pushed into my hands but I didn't care.  I pulled at my hair and screamed in agony and frustration. I wanted to be able to see, I wanted to see. I didn't want to feel abandoned or alone anymore...I just wanted to be okay again.

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Youngjae POV

"What should we do?" I asked, hearing the scream come from Yongguk's room. Himchan watched the door sadly with a hand rubbing at his sore neck.

"Leave him..." Himchan said bitterly, shaking his head. I stared at him, his neck had painful red marks stretching across his neck. It looked like the marks would leave a bruise.

"Himchan, you know he didn't mean it, he's going through a tough time..and-" 

"He always is... Youngjae." My eyes widened when he said that. Himchan was worried too I could tell, but he must have been tired of all the pain that we had all suffered together. Himchan noticed the look on my face and hugged me tightly."It's okay. I'm not angry....everything is going to be okay." I hugged him back and nodded.

"We should let him be...we shouldn't have tried to get him to leave his room." I spoke quietly, so we wouldn't anger Yongguk more than we already had. Himchan nodded in agreement. 

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Daehyun POV

I watched Junhong walk upstairs and tilted my head in confusion. The kid looked familiar and I couldn't remember where I had seen him before. He seemed familiar, and the feeling was so strong, it was troubling just thinking about it.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and went back to work.

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