The snow crunched under the weight of the car's wheels as Himchan pulled up in front of an old coffee and cake shop. It was dead silent, seeing as the sun was barely rising. The light of the morning cast a shadow over the boys' eyes. Himchan turned in his seat and gently shook Yongguk's body awake, the small movement caused Youngjae to awaken as well. Himchan yawned, relieved to have finally made it to their destination. He managed to stay awake all night just to preserve the well being of both Yongguk and Youngjae. Nobody dared to speak, in fear of disturbing the peace of the morning. It was cold in the car, and Yongguk was wrapped up in the blanket that Himchan provided him.

Youngjae was the first to open the car door and jump out into the snow. He made a small noise of happiness when the snow caved under his feet. Himchan was the next to get out, he quickly opened the door for Yongguk as well and he led him to a safe place on the side walk. Only a few people were disturbing the silence around them because they were struggling to get to work on time. Himchan managed to get all the important things out of the car and then shuffled to the front of the shop, dragging the luggage with him. He called out to Youngjae who was playing in the white, fluffy snow.

“Youngjae, help Yongguk take his bag inside.”  Himchan said, but Yongguk just snatched his bag back from Youngjae’s hands and waited to be led. Himchan shook his head and sighed then glanced up at the small building in front of them, it looked like it wasn't open yet. Himchan walked up to the front door and lightly knocked his fist on the aged wood.

"Hello?" He asked lightly, his breath formed large white puffs into the cold air above them. He continued to knock.

<><><>

"Go answer the door Daehyun Hyung!" Jongup pushed him forward, and Daehyun choked on the bagel that he was scarfing down. All three of them woke up earlier than usual, and Daehyun didn't have time to eat breakfast yet. He glared at the teen and scoffed lightly, eating the last bite and drinking a sip of water. 

"No, You do it! He's your friend." Daehyun crossed his arms and walked over to stand by a tired looking Junhong. They were all standing by the front door listening to the light persistent knocking. Jongup insisted that they all try and give a warm welcome to their new guests, and Daehyun was strongly against the idea. Not only did Daehyun not get enough sleep as it is, but he was slightly irritated at himself for giving in to the teen so many times.

"Please, I'm scared!" Jongup pulled him over to the front door, starting to panic after the knocks got louder and more frequent. "Just open the door and let them in!" Jongup gave one final push and Daehyun finally gave up. 

"Fine!" 

<><><>

Himchan stood back as the door finally opened. A handsome man stood there with a welcoming smile and a slightly irritated look on his face. He was wearing a simple pair of black jeans and a light blue hoodie.

"Hello," Himchan said unsurely, not knowing if the man he was staring at was Jongup or Jongup's boss.

"Hey, my name is Jung Daehyun. Nice to meet you." He welcomed the three in. Youngjae stared a little too long as he passed him, as did Daehyun. Himchan noticed and he just smiled brighter. As they walked in, Himchan noticed a boy that could be Jongup. He bet all the money that he had saved that the boy he was staring at was Jongup.

"Are you just gonna stare hyung?" Jongup asked playfully, all of his nervousness gone at the sight of finally seeing Himchan. Himchan blushed softly and then went to give him a hug.

"I'm so glad we finally get to meet Jonguppie!" Himchan squealed excitedly, Jongup gave him a beaming smile. Daehyun was too distracted, staring at the youngest of the trio to take notice to Himchan's talking. It was a good thing because he didn't hear him say the words, 'finally get to meet'.

"Oh yeah, this is my boss Daehyun and my best friend, Choi Junhong." Jongup turned to look at Junhong who had a sickly look on his pale face. "Are you okay?" he whispered, Junhong just nodded softly.

"Nice to meet you," Both Youngjae and Himchan bowed. Yongguk blankly stared off somewhere else, showing no signs of being friendly. "These are my friends, Youngjae and Yongguk." Youngjae gave a small wave and Daehyun's eyes were fixated on him. Junhong finally could take no more as he ran past everyone and they watched him leave. Jongup watched him with a worried expression.

"Sorry guys, he's a bit shy at first." Jongup explained and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Everyone nodded except Yongguk who had no idea what was going on. "You're probably tired. Here- I'll show you the rooms."

Junhong POV

I calmed Jongup down as Daehyun went to go open the door, I told him that there was nothing to be nervous about. Jongup had gotten up two hours earlier to start preparing and I woke up not long after that to help him. Then we both hauled Daehyun out of bed so he could welcome the new guests as well. Jongup was a nervous wreck all morning. So when he opened the door and let them in, I could see the relief on Jongup’s face. I smiled at the good looking man who hugged Jongup. Then in came a cute looking guy with fluffy hair, Daehyun hyung kept staring at him and I laughed a bit to myself.

I tried to keep my anxiety at bay as the first two people walked in but that didn't matter anymore when the last person walked through the door, I gasped silently and covered my mouth. Nobody noticed me, but I felt like I was going to pass out. All at once my emotions were attacking me from everywhere and my mind went into overdrive. 

Run. That was the only thought I had at the moment, and it was frightening. I couldn't help thinking how terrible it was that this safe haven was a place I wanted to run away from.

The man in front of me was none other than Bang Yongguk. He was wearing shades to cover his eyes, and he was looking away.

Color drained from my face.

Yongguk….

I wasn’t paying attention to anything, so when Jongup asked if I was okay I just nodded out of habit. He continued to talk for a bit, and I couldn’t take it anymore, so I ran past everyone and out the front door. I accidentally brushed past Yongguk and my breath caught in my throat. He turned, and if he could see, I knew he would be glaring at me. I ran as fast as I could on the slippery snow, trying to find somewhere to go.

Anywhere.

This can’t be happening. I ran down to the small store on the corner and sat down on the curb to catch my breath. I let the tears fall down my face, and I rubbed at my eyes to try and get them to go away. My breath formed small puffs of warm air in front of my mouth as I panted. It’s freezing…I tried to distract myself by rubbing my hands together, I was only in my jeans and a thin sweater. 

How does he know Yongguk…?

I’m so confused…

I heard them again, the more I tried to distract myself. The voices were coming back.

You can’t hide forever,

He’s going to come back for you.

And when he finds you, he’s going to hurt you again.

He’s probably watching you right now.

Waiting

Waiting…

“No!” I cried out, holding my head and letting the tears flow freely.

He’s going to find you Junhonggie…

Junhonggie…

Suddenly this wasn’t about Yongguk anymore and chills were sent up my spine. The more I believed that someone was watching me, the more I felt it.

A lot of time passed while I just sat there in fear. Finally I stood up and ran back to the shop, not caring that I was running back to the man that I had left.

Just keep running.

He’ll find you anyways..

Suddenly the thoughts I heard sounded like my voice. It scared me and all I wanted to do was hide in Jongup’s sheets for a little while. I slowed to a jog when I entered the coffee shop and wiped my eyes, my face was flushed from the cold and all the running. My whole body felt numb and I couldn't think a coherent thought, I was emotionless at the moment. I noticed Daehyun watching me carefully, he was talking to the guy with the fluffy hair. He offered me a small smile and I nodded back to him. Avoiding eye contact, I walked upstairs and peeked my head in Jongup’s room. He wasn’t inside, but one person was. Jongup's friend was asleep in his bed.

I scowled, that was my hiding place... I heard someone walk up behind me and ungraciously bump into my back. I turned around quickly, It was Yongguk. I tried not to make one noise of surprise as he stared in front of himself, right at me. The sunglasses he was wearing made him seem intimidating.

“Jongup?” he asked, walking inside the room while I backed away from him at the same time. I didn’t want to respond to him and I avoided his outstretched arm, a panicked feeling crept up on me and I closed my eyes for a moment to calm myself. I knew he must have heard my footsteps at least, and I considered running out of the room but decided against it.

“Oh, you must be the kid that’s sharing this room with us right?” He asked, shuffling over to the bed and sitting down on it. He sighed and leaned back. I miss that voice… 

“Not gonna talk?” He asked looking over to the area I was in, he must have heard me trying to leave. “Oh right, you’re shy. I forgot, sorry.” He smiled faintly. “You don’t have to be shy around me, I know how it is. I used to have a shy friend once.” He sighed and took off his sunglasses. Is he talking about me?

“Sorry about Himchan, he was supposed to sleep over here. I’ll wake him up.” Yongguk suddenly got up and was about to walk over to Himchan. I stopped him by grabbing his jacket, he turned to look at me. I mentally cursed then stepped away from him quickly.

“Ok then…” he said softly. “Your name is Junhong right? I’m Yongguk.” He reached his hand out. I just stared at it, afraid to touch him. “Sorry. I’m making you uncomfortable aren’t I?” he chuckled, and my heart ached at the sound of it. He turned around and lay on my bed inside the room, I hadn't used it much since I got here because I was always sleeping in Jongup's bed. “By the way, I think Jae has a thing for your boss.” He joked before closing his eyes, I would have smiled if I wasn't so detached at the moment. “You can lie down if you want. You don’t have to be afraid of me.” I didn’t know what to do so I just sat at the end of the bed until he fell asleep. I didn't feel anything at that moment, the only thing I noticed was how beautiful he looked when he slept. I smiled, but it disappeared as fast as it came.

Jongup abruptly walked in, “Oh Himchan fell asleep already," he noticed, then looked like he suddenly remembered something and approached me quickly. "Junhong, are you alright?” he asked, concerned. I shook my head and he frowned, “Is something wrong?” he whispered and sat next to me. I figured Jongup must have been troubled after I ran out of the shop, I shrugged and he pulled me into his arms. “You look frightened," he spoke softly, keeping his voice low.

Jongup is a refuge from youself. He's your protection, your shelter. You are safe. Reminding myself of this was starting to become a ritual.

I buried my face in his chest and gradually let my tears fall, he just comforted me. “Jongup, the voices came back again,” I mumbled. Jongup struggled to hear me, but he still understood, he just held me tighter.

“Let’s go get something to eat. You haven’t eaten breakfast yet, have you?” Jongup asked me, I shook my head and he pulled me up.  “Come on, Youngjae is downstairs too. He’s really nice, I think you’ll like him.” I nodded and glanced back at Yongguk, then followed Jongup downstairs.

We ate breakfast with Youngjae and Daehyun. Jongup and Daehyun did most of the talking, and their conversation together consisted of teasing each other about their newly acquired friends. I couldn't help but stare at Youngjae, thinking of all the times Yongguk talked about him and Himchan. All the things he told me about them, and how I would meet them someday, I didn't know I would meet them like this. Now I felt as if I was deceiving them as well, as if I was betraying them. I felt like and didn't want to talk so I tried to eat as much as I could. I struggled to keep the food down as we sat there, talking to Youngjae for a few hours just to pass the time. That was when Himchan came up to us to inform Jongup that they were headed to the eye doctor for a checkup. I was worried as I watched Himchan lead Yongguk out of the coffee shop.  

My heart was beating fast and I could barely take it, I was nervous.

<><><> 

“So Mr. Bang, over the next few days, your sight will effectively lighten. Then after that, your eye sight will be extremely blurry and fuzzy. But as time passes it will clear up and you’ll be good as new.” The doctor explained and Himchan could hardly keep his excitement contained as he listened.

“So you mean-" 

“Your eyesight will be recovered very soon.” He smiled. Yongguk grinned and Himchan cheered, they both thanked the doctor and he nodded warmly before he left.

<><><> 

It was finally time to sleep and I changed into sweats and a baggy shirt. I just wanted to forget for a while tonight, so I hoped that I was able to drown in sleep. I headed to Jongup's room and I seen Himchan laying in Jongup's bed already. I smiled at him, trying not to be rude. He just smiled back, then Jongup walked into the room and Himchan's face lit up with happiness.

"I can sleep in the same bed as you tonight, right Jongup?" He asked and I glared at him. I wanted to yell at Himchan, he was stealing my spot again. I immediately wanted to slap myself for thinking that, Himchan was practically Yongguk's brother, he cherished Himchan. I shouldn't be acting selfish, Jongup liked Himchan so I shouldn't get in the way. Jongup hesitated.

"Is that alright with you Junhong?" He asked me, and I just nodded. Not saying anything, Jongup seen the look on my face and I knew he wanted to apologize right away but I just smiled, covering up my discomfort. "Are you sure?" he asked me again and I nodded. He sat down next to Himchan, and I took that as my cue to lay down on my own temporary bed for the night. I scooted as close to the wall as possible, making room for Yongguk when he decided to sleep.

As the night went on, I heard both Himchan and Jongup fall asleep already, but I waited. Finally, a few hours later, I heard somebody stumble into the room. I pulled the blankets around me, trying to preserve the feeling of comfort and safety that Jongup couldn't provide me at the moment. He cursed softly when he ran into something on the floor, I watched him struggle, trying to find his way to the bed. Finally he crawled over to me, feeling his way to the pillow.

"Himchan?" he whispered, I shook my head. "Jongup or Junhong, which one is it?" he asked. I didn't answer and he smiled. "Oh, it must be Junhong." He chuckled and lay down by me, tugging the blankets over himself. He suddenly paused- close to my face. "That smell...what shampoo do you use?" he asked curiously. "It smells familiar." He went to move his hand to my hair but I immediately pushed him away from me.

"Sorry," he whispered. I shrugged and he sighed. "Guess what?" he asked. He didn't wait for an answer and continued on. "My sight is gonna come back soon." I sat up quickly and he noticed the sudden movement. "What's wrong?" he asked. I stared ahead as a frightened feeling took over me. I tried to convince myself that I didn't run away for nothing, but there wasn't a single thing I came up with. Yongguk found me, whether he knew it or not and I couldn't keep running away forever.

If he gets his sight back he won't know that it's me.

He's never seen me before.

I slowly lay back down next to him as a new idea took place in my head. He his side, facing away from me.

All I have to do is stay away from him until he leaves...he'll never know it was me.

"Why are you still awake anyways?" He asked. "Couldn't sleep?" He must have known I wasn't going to answer because he didn't wait for one. "I couldn't sleep either, I think I'm too excited to get my sight back. And because I'm worried." Yongguk sighed. I moved closer to him, that last part suddenly peaked my interest.

"I need to find someone..." he his back, it seemed like he was just thinking aloud, "I'm worried I won't be able to find him." My eyes widened, He can't be talking about me can he?

"You don't happen to know anyone named Zelo do you?" He asked. I shook my head quickly even though he couldn't see it. You're looking for me?

"I won't give up though. I know I can find him." He seemed determined. Within a few minutes of silence, Yongguk fell asleep and I knew I wouldn't be getting much sleep that night like I had originally planned.

<><><>

It was morning, and I woke up earlier than everyone else. It was odd, I thought I would have slept in. I sat up, trying not to disturb Yongguk. I had a close call with Yongguk last night when he almost touched my hair, I was uncomfortable with it. He probably wouldn't recognize me by just doing that but I didn't want to take any chances. So I quietly made my way to Daehyun's bathroom downstairs. He had all his stuff in there, I borrowed his flat iron to straighten my hair.

Soon my curls turned straight and smooth, I styled them over my forehead and then wrapped bandages around my neck. I was used to doing this sort of thing just over a year ago, I would hide every single abnormal thing about me. Back then I would straighten and dye my hair black, wear scarves and masks, all to avoid ridicule by everyone. Jongup eventually taught me that I was fine just the way I was, so I learned to get used to the stares and cruel remarks. Doing all this hiding brought me back to those times and I hated the feeling. Without a doubt, Jongup would notice me doing this again, so I would have to explain things to him eventually. I stared at myself in the mirror, and shook my head. 

I placed a scarf over the bandages and then put on a thick sweater, making a mental note to start using Daehyun's shampoo instead of my own. I hoped that Yongguk wouldn't put the pieces together when he started to see. There was no way he would be able to recognize my appearance just by looking at me.

I have to take every precaution.

...

Over the next few days Yongguk's eye sight had improved greatly, I didn't know how that made me feel. I was very happy for Yongguk, but at the same time I didn't want him to see me, I didn't want to know what he would think.

When Yongguk started to see blurred images, I distanced himself from him. But for some reason he always wanted to talk to me. Since he could see blurred images and shadows he knew when I was nodding or shaking my head. He would always talk about art and music, the same things he would talk about with Zelo and it made me feel happy. It was always a one sided conversation, and I felt bad whenever he would ask me questions, knowing I wouldn't answer.

Aside from that, Himchan and I switched beds after that one night, and he seemed to be bitter to me after that. I didn't want him to hate me, I knew that he liked Jongup but I couldn't sleep without Jongup by my side. Another reason was because I really didn't want to sleep next to Yongguk, I could hardly stand being in the same room as him. It was too hard for me, knowing how much I hurt him already, I didn't want to give him any more pain. I was always reminded of how stupid and selfish I was whenever I seen him. It reminded me of how how terribly disgusting I could be. 

...

Yongguk POV

This place was interesting. My sight was almost back and I was excited, more excited than I have ever been in my entire life. I couldn't wait to see Himchan and Youngjae's face again, and when I find Zelo, I will be able to see him as well.

I liked being alone usually, but I didn't mind sharing a room with three other people. Jongup was cool and so was Daehyun, but Junhong was compelling. He was so shy and I figured that I could help him become more comfortable, just like I helped Zelo.

I scolded myself for thinking that I could help him, when I had my own problems, but I still wanted to help the kid. Since Jongup was almost 18, and Junhong was younger than him I figured he must have been 17. 

He was so young, so its not like I would fall in love with him or something.

Yeah it might be weird for me to talk to him but,

I loved Zelo, and I would never fall for a 17 year old kid.