Dara:

Explanations, explanations.

Confessing wasn’t really something I was really good at, but my co-trainees deserved some truth behind my supposedly real agenda when I entered YGE premises not too long ago. Han Mina tried her best to help me out; she didn’t need to but she invited the four of us to her house after our last session ended for some ‘real and honest’ talk.


She didn’t invite Jiang Aera, of course. But would we, really? Aera didn’t show up for our two last sessions (much to our trainer’s irritation) after that heated confrontation the two of us had. And anyway, it’s not like we could talk things out easily after that.



“Mianhe,” I apologized for the nth time with all the sincerity that I could muster. “I didn’t know any better back then. Fooling you guys wasn’t really something that I have planned, for my focus and attention was purely on Jiyong. I was so blinded, and for that I am sorry.”

Silence. I tried to sneak a look to see their faces; Bom was looking at me with her kind eyes, trying to let me know that she understood everything, Chae-rin was staring at me, her eyes still the gentle pair I’ve grown to appreciate, but her lips were set into a thin line. Minji, on the other hand, looked at me intently, probably still trying to understand some parts. Chae-rin and Minji’s expressions were something I have always expected because I knew how much they were close to Jiyong, but it still pained me a little. I have disappointed them, somehow.

“I’m so sorry,” I repeated my apologies, my voice breaking down a little. “If there is anything that you would like to say to me, please say it. It doesn’t matter how hurtful it would be.”

“Unnie, show us the notebook.”

I looked at Chae-rin’s expectant face for a minute before taking the notebook out from my bag. She and the others then looked amongst themselves for a moment before they huddled around me and my notebook.

For the next two hours, all of us talked about the notebook; they asked questions and I answered them, truthfully. I won’t be hiding anything from them anymore. All of us alternately laughed and grew solemn with each and every entry I wrote. It was like going down memory lane, only this time we were looking at the painful ones.

“I can’t believe you actually had these thoughts before,” Mina murmured as she was scanning the pages I was leafing through. “Please tell me that you now realize that you entered YGE because you actually want to fulfil some dreams foryourself.

“Yes,” I answered seriously. “You guys might not believe, but I guess I’m starting to realize that this is something that I really wanted to do for myself. That deep down, I actually have aspirations to be someone in the industry, years from now.”

“And we’re glad to hear that,” Bom replied. “because all would be impossible if you didn’t have dreams and passion to do this within you.”

“But,” Minji started, sounding a little shy as we looked at her to continue what she wanted to say. “do you really love Jiyong oppa?”

I tried to straighten out the crease of the page we were currently looking at before answering Minji’s question. There wasn’t a trace of doubt in her voice, but the innocence and honesty on it made me speechless for a moment.

“I do, Minji. Honest-to-goodness. I do.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear,” Minji said happily. “I wanted to be honest with you unnie, I didn’t like what you did to oppa not because I consider him as my oppa but…Jiyong oppa is a good person. And his feelings for you, although he didn’t tell me about it, were real. I can feel it.”

“So, are we good?”

Minji seemed to hesitate for a while and it made me nervous just looking at her face, but her lips broke into a huge smile immediately as she affirmed my question. “Yes, unnie. You are a very brave person for telling this to us, and doing that makes me convinced that your feelings towards oppa are as real as his.”

I broke into a huge grin after hearing Minji’s reply. Minji believing in me is as important as the other girls’ support.

“I’ve never experienced something like this ever, you know what I mean?” It was Chae-rin’s turn to give her take on the issue. “But I guess…I guess I’d take your explanation because I know that you’re being sincere about it. I’m behind you, too.”

I felt like crying, because this felt something that would happen in movies. Wait, that sounded stupid. But seeing that they gave their support to me regardless of the mistakes that I did, I was more than willing to be stupid. Jiyong’s forgiveness might still be almost impossible, but knowing that the girls would be trying to support me…I guess I’m going to be okay.

----------------

It was almost 10 PM, but I was being dragged towards YGE building entrance by no other than Han Mina, YG’s very own ice-princess trainee. I know how obsessed she was with sleeping early but why the hell was she was throwing tiny stones at my window almost two hours ago, like some sort of Korean super spy? Why did she freakishly climb at who-knows-where just so she can ‘secretly’ enter my room? Why did she ask for some black clothes, demanded that I wear it like, right now, while she rummaged for flashlights and batteries inside my drawer? 

What is in up with the world tonight?

“Yah, Han Mina!” I was tired and depressed these past few weeks, I have absolutely not time for this.

“Will you shush?!” Mina whispered irritably. “We’re almost there. We’ll explain it later, okay? Now shut your trap!” 

I clamped my mouth shut as I watch her skilfully fumble the locks near the entrance. It gave a soft swoosh as the gates opened silently for us. Mina pushed me inside. I would have protested, but her eyes warned me to save it for later. She entered the building stealthily after me, lightly pushing the buttons of the big and intimidating YG second gate so it could close behind us. As if nothing happened.

I knew Han Mina used to live in America. Which made me think of our situation now.

Is Han Mina a part of the CIA?

“Han Mina, are you part of the CIA?”

Han Mina’s grip tightened on my hands as she laughed. “What?! No, silly. You’ll know later.”

We walked urgently towards the main entrance, not talking to each other. I was about to ask her what is actually up with this until I saw…

Wait. Bom? Chae-rin? 

Waiting near the entrance gates?

Mina and I walked faster as Bom and Chae-rin waved frantically at us. They were wearing head-to-toe black, too.

“OMGosh, I thought you wouldn’t succeed!” Bom whispered excitedly when we finally arrived at the main entrance.

“Bomtaro, I don’t fail.” Hand Mina stated simply.

“Ehem. We’re complete, so let’s get this thing on!” Chae-rin whispered urgently as Bom and Mina exchanged squeals of delight.

“Um, What is this all about?”

“Unnie, we’re helping you.” 

I looked at Chae-rin hoping that she was just joking, but her face was serious. Although there was a slight glint of amusement in her eyes.

“Yes, bb. We’re helping you. It was Bom’s idea. A genius one, if I might add, however, my heels are killing me! God.”

“I did say wear black sneakers,” Bom murmured sheepishly. Mina just shrugged as she looked down at her 3-inch high-heeled boots.

What the is up with my dear co-trainees.

“Anyway, anyway, anyway! Did you bring the supplies?” Mina motioned at Bom’s black backpack lying on the ground.

“Yep, bb.” She took the bag and opened it while Chae-rin opened her flashlight so we could see the contents inside.

“Extra flashlights?” Mina asked.

“Check.”

“Batteries.”

“Check!”

“Mosquito repellent?”

“Check!”

“Pepper spray?”

“Check!”

“Baby wipes?”

“What the hell are baby wipes for?” Chae-rin inquired.

“For whatever.” Mina replied dismissively. “Gloves?”

“Check!”

“Swiss knife?”

“Four swiss knives, check!”

“Leftover meat for dogs?”

“We’re gonna stay that long?” it was Bom’s turn to ask.

“Maybe. Anyway, Leftover meat for dogs?”

“Check anyway!” Bom answered.

“Walkie-talkies?”

“Check, all in good condition!”

“Food?”

“Check! We have corn!”

“Ugh, Agent Bomtaro, why corn? The trainer said it’s not really good for our health if – “

“Agent Mina, I asked umma to cook fish sticks, too!”

“Oh my god! Fish sticks! Haven’t eaten it in a while!”

“Aren’t fish sticks deep fried?” Chae-rin asked incredulously. I nodded in agreement.

“Still good, regardless. Last but not the least, cellphones fully charged with speed-dial to Minji’s phone?”

“Check!” Bom said gleefully. She closed the backpack and hoisted it up so she could carry it. 

“Where’s Minji, anyway?” I asked as they were handing some “spy essentials” to me.

“Minji’s our agent inside, somewhere else. It’s kinda dangerous for her to go outside on a mission.” Mina replied without looking at me. She was busy putting Chae-rin’s hair up in a pony-tail.

“Yes, unnie. Don’t worry about it. She’s still helping us!”

“Um, guys?” I asked slowly. “Why are suddenly called agents? What is up?”

“Oh, Dara. Seunghyun called me this morning. About Jiyong and Aera. Said it was something serious. They’re inside, at the top most floor, probably talking.”

I looked at Bom in shock. “So, this…”

“We’re acting spies for you, agent Dara. Smash that hater’s face before you know it.”

“Oh, Han Mina, you guys…you don’t have to do this---”

“Code red! Code red!” Whispered Chae-rin urgently, and all of us crouched and huddled together on one side, just so we wouldn’t be seen. “Target spotted! Target spotted!”

My heart was beating fast as the four of us watched Jiyong and Aera go outside using the leftmost door, oblivious to our presence as they walked through the dark, hollow night.

I can’t believe Jiyong and Aera are together. I can’t believe the girls took me on our first “mission”, without me knowing before hand.
I felt a slight push at my back the moment Jiyong and Aera disappeared in the darkness. “Go on,” Mina hissed at me. “Let’s get started!”

I smiled at her and she did the same to me. Chae-rin and Bom giggled in excitement.

“Agent” Dara, “Agent” Bom, “Agent” Mina, “Agent” Che-rin…NOLJA!

----------------

“Ouch!” I could see Bom wincing in pain as Mina accidentally stepped on her foot on our way to our first ‘secret mission’. “I told you those boots are such a bad idea!”

“I know, I know! I’m sorry okay! I saw them at the mall two weeks ago and I fell in love with it, and this gig is the perfect time for me to use them!” Han Mina tugged her ponytail in frustration. “The heels are killing me, so it’s not like I’m immensely enjoying these boots anyway.”

“Keep your voices down unnies,” Chae-rin whispered, trying to shush the two of them. “We have to take our positions now before they notice us.”

I shivered amidst at the extreme nervousness I was feeling at the mere thought that we were actually spying the two of them. I wouldn’t live it down if ever Jiyong saw us hovering in the dark, watching them. I wouldn’t live it down.

The four of us silently walked toward the trees almost a meter away from where Jiyong and Aera were standing. I felt a soft but deep blow of pain in my chest upon the realization that they were meeting at our special spot. They were talking rather closely, too.

“Look guys,” I said, my voice strained but a little bit grateful for the dark (as well) because the girls couldn’t exactly see my pained look. “Let’s just go home.”

“Are you serious?!” Mina exclaimed in a whisper. “But we’re here now! Please tell us that you’re not putting our efforts into waste.”

“I just can’t do this,” I argued. “What if they see us?”

“That’s why we’re hiding behind the trees,” Chae-rin reasoned out. “And that’s why we’re trying to be quiet as possible. Come on, unnie. This is just our first attempt.”

“You tell her, CL-roo!” Bom chimed in. “We’re gonna do this so we’d know what are Jiang Aera’s ‘plans’.”

I decided to keep quiet and just continue looking at the from afar, just like what the other girls were doing. I couldn’t really see their faces – were they happy? Sad? 

About to fall in love?

I wanted to punch my face for having that thought. Jiyong wouldn’t be that cruel to replace me easily, right? An he certainly won’t replace me with Jiang Aera, right?

Right?

“Gosh, that b1tch,” Mina whispered angrily. “We wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t for her.”

“I know right?” Bom agreed, while Chae-rin nodded enthusiastically. “Seriously, we have a jogging session tomorrow at 5:30 am. Can you imagine? That’s just like, in seven hours from now!”

“So let’s just go home,” I tired convincing them once again. “I mean it guys, let’s just sleep. Mina, Bomtaro, Chae-rin…”

“You could even say that cells usually regenerate from 10 PM to 3 AM unnie, but I won’t leave.” Chae-rin argued. Why she was opting to stay, I did not know.

“What the hell?!” Mina gave Chae-rin a sharp look. “Don’t tell me that’s true because I would run back to my house, pronto. I wouldn’t let myself get and look old just for Aera’s sake!”

“Then leave,” Chae-rin hissed back. “It’s alright. And we’re not doing this for Aera. It’s for Dara unnie.”

“Guys…?” Bom started to whisper in the darkness.

“What?” Mina whispered back. “Something wrong?”

“Just…just don’t move.” Bom’s eyes were fixed at Mina’s back. She looked horrified. Hell, her voice sounded horrified.

Han Mina looked confused for a moment before she gasped. “Don’t tell me…”

Chae-rin and I saw what it is, and we tried to back away from her. Bom Did the same.

Holy Sh1t. Why now?!

“Don’t move.”

“Bom.”

“Don’t breathe!”

“I….I…”

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!”

The cockroach flew merrily, satisfied with the chaos it caused.

“Holy sh1t, holy sh1t,” Whispered Bom frantically, tear glistening her eyes. “It’s gonna get us, it’s gonna get us!”

The four of us scrambled in fear, the mission completely forgotten. We must have been really scared that we didn’t notice Mina getting pushed outside our hide-out. Guess she didn’t notice it too, until someone called her name.

“Han Mina?”

Everything stopped. Chae-rin dragged me and Bom away from the chaos. “We’ll talk this out tomorrow!”, she reasoned out, and we couldn’t do anything but agree.

If we didn’t follow CLroo, all of us would be dead.

Because right at this moment, Jiyong and Aera were looking straight at Han Mina.

Caught.

Jiyong:

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!”

A scream, followed by sounds of feet shuffling frantically in the dark. Aera was saying something but I wasn’t able to catch what it was because the sound I heard caught my full attention.

“Oppa….?” Aera’s voice lingered for a bit until I heard her gasp as well. The two of us turned to the shady walls at the back, only to see a dancing figure.

Dancing figure? What the ?

But it was dancing, or doing something to that effect. The figure’s arms were swaying up in the air, and his/her feet were doing something similar to jumping and running. It continued to move crazily, until I caught a glimpse of her face.

You wouldn’t believe at what you’d see in this building at this hour.

“Han Mina?!”

The shadowy figure froze. And looked at me directly.
“Han Mina?” I called her name again. She didn’t answer so I tried to walk to where she was standing.

“What is she doing here,” Aera murmured as she followed me. I ignored her comment, even though I was thinking about the same thing.

Not a few moments later I was looking at Mina’s shocked face. It seemed like she still didn’t recover from the fact that recognized her.

“What are you doing here?”

“I…I was…” She looked behind her back, and the two of us did the same thing. “I was…I..just forgot something.”

“You forgot something?” I asked, half-incredulously. “Where?”

“I just, well…in the building. I forgot my lipstick. And then for some strange reason I ended up here. Yes,” Han Mina looked dazed, and it was a rarity to see her like this.

I laughed and crossed my arms as I looked at her doubtfully. “Okay, it’s quarter before 11, and I see you here, doing that voodoo dance. Turns out you were looking for some lipstick you lost? You could have looked for it tomorrow.”

“But it was from Paris. A gift from an ex-boyfriend. I can’t sleep without knowing where I placed that lipstick. It’s importaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant.” She took my hands in hers as if to beg and convince me. Her hands were clammy and sweaty that I removed my hands immediately from her grasp. What is wrong with her?

“But unnie, you don’t even wear make-up when we go training and even after training. You’ve always mentioned how it’s a good beauty tip if we refrain from using make-up when we go training because the stress of what we do doesn’t mix well with cosmetic products.” Aera sounded impatient already as well. Obviously she wasn’t convinced with Mina’s pathetic excuse of a lie.

Mina looked at her like some crazed maniac. “But I was showing it to Bom earlier. We were talking about some nice lip color to use and stuff. That’s why I think I lost it here.”

“But didn’t you invite the other trainees at your place earlier today for some good old bonding time?” Her words sounded vile as it was also laced with bitterness with a hint of hatred. Are these girls not getting along?

“I….” Mina rolled her eyes and gave up. “Okay. Fine. I’m sorry if I ended up looking here. I’ll leave now.” She turned to walk away, but curiosity got the best of me and I grabbed her elbow before she could leave.

“I’ll drive you home.”

“Oppa?!” I didn’t know if Aera’s voice was that of a protest or shock.

“I can walk by myself, thank you.” Mina responded darkly.

“No. I think you girls should go home.”

“Oppa, we’re not yet finished…”

“To the car.” I instructed simply. The two of them nodded quietly as I led them to the parking lot. The three of us we’re silent as we headed to my car.

“I’ll be sitting in front, if that’s okay,” Mina talked to no one in particular. Before the two of us could react, she opened the door and got inside right after I automatically unlocked them all.
I heard Aera curse under her breath, but when I turned to look at her and our eyes met, she smiled politely and made herself comfortable in the back.

What a crazy night this was turning out to be, I thought to myself as I started the engine. With two girls I’m least likely to be with, at that.

--------------------------

“Kamsahamnida, Jiyong oppa,” Aera politely bowed to us before entering her house thirty minutes after all of us decided to go home. She lived the nearest to YGE building so against her soft sighs and silent protests, she was the one we dropped off first. 

Much to Mina’s devilish delight. She was sporting the biggest smirk in the world as the car roared past Jiang Aera’s place.

“You don’t have to be so happy about it,” I said absently as the two of us stared blankly ahead. “You should be nice to her, you girls would soon be a group come debut time comes, you wouldn’t really want to build horrible chemistry with the others.”

Mina scoffed as she tugged her ponytail in mild annoyance. “She wouldn’t be in the group, trust me. If she did, then just it, y’know? It wasn’t like I was the one who was screwing things around.”

I could only glance at her at that point. Obviously Mina isn’t the one to explain her animosity towards other people.

“Why are you wearing black clothes from head to toe?”

“Oh.” Mina coughed a little as she sat up straighter. “Well, I like black.”

“Tsk,” I sneered as I made a left turn. “Horrible liar.”
She turned to face me, as if trying to explain things better. “I swear, oppa. I like black, and I felt that the color was just appropriate for snooping around.”

“Snooping around?” Mina’s sure making a fool of herself. The girl should just tell the truth.

“Yeah, for the lipstick, remember? It’s pretty expensive, and I admit, I still have teeny weeny feelings for my ex, so I was a bit spazztic when I lost that damned cosmetic. “

“Were you following me and Aera?” I have no time for this BS anymore.

She sighed and looked away. She hesitated for a while, maybe weighing her words. We were silent for a while, but after exchanging a couple of glances at each other, she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, finally conceding.

“Okay, I was. Was that such a crime?”

“Don’t even start on having feelings for me.”

She slapped my arm harshly that I winced in pain. “Jeezus! No! I was more or less doing this for a friend.”

I shook my head and stifled a laugh. For Dara.

“Was she with you tonight?”

“No. I was with Bomtaro and Chae-rin. We didn’t tell Dara. It’s not like she’d agree on doing this. Okay maybe out of desperation and undying devotion to you she would, but we gotta save the girl some dignity. That’s all she has, that girl.”

“It’s funny how you don’t call her unnie, and yet, you care for her so much.”

“I don’t go saying ‘hello-unnie’-‘you’re so pretty unnie’ while smiling when I’m such a psycho b1tch inside. Perhaps, you finally get my point?”

“That you’re a psycho b1tch?”

“No. But Aera is. So really, it’s not like…”

Mina wasn’t able to continue what she was saying because she motioned me to stop the car. Turned out we’re a block away from where her house was. She wanted to walk home. Alone.

“Thank you, Jiyong oppa. That was an unexpected ride.”

I tipped an imaginary hat and smiled at her. “At your service.”

Mina snorted at my action. “Yeah. G’bye.”

I watched her walk away until she disappeared around the corner. I’m left alone again, and if it wasn’t for the awkwardness and sheer stupidity of my idea, I would have requested the two of them to go on a random road trip right now, just so I wouldn’t feel the emptiness.

But perhaps, I could drive the lonely highway in solitude tonight.