Dara:

“She’s not home, unnie. I’m so sorrry.” I found myself nodding dumbly at Heejin’s apologetic response from the other side of the line. It’s Sunday, and I knew how adamant Ji Eun was on spending her Sundays at home because she would always say that it should be a time for her and her family alone. I found it hard to believe that she’s not home. She most probably was, but after almost a month of getting the same response from her sister, it finally sunk in that she was indeed, avoiding me. So bad that she even changed jobs without telling me. I had to know it from Jin, her co-worker at the convenience store; turned out she quit working there more than three weeks ago. Without leaving any information about where she could be found.

I was still holding hopelessly on the phone minutes after Heejin’s line went dead, when my cellphone rang. 

“Hello?”

“Are you ready?” Han Mina’s voice was worried. “You’re coming, right? I mean you have to come. Party’s gonna be incomplete without you, babe.”

“I will come.” It was Mina’s birthday today, and she was bugging me about her birthday bash for more than two weeks now. I kept telling to myself that I’m attending her party because she’s been a very good friend lately (albeit demanding and still bossy at times), but Jiyong would always come up at the same time as her birthday, if not the first thing to come up in my mind at all as the date neared. Partying would be fine...but with Jiyong around? I don’t think I could handle it.

“You will come, right now. Chae-rin and Minzy’s on their way here now, Bom I think is already at my front door.” She put the phone away from her and I heard dogs barking outside merrily. “Heard that? She’s here.”

“But I haven’t picked an outfit yet,” I reasoned lamely. “I haven’t bought a gift, too.”

Mina sighed exasperatedly on the other line. “Dara, I thought we talked about this last night? I specifically said that my gift from you would be your attendance. Get yourself moving and go here. And who told you you’re going to pick an outfit all by yourself? I’m face palm-ing at you right now. Like seriously, just bring yourself and bring it pronto because I’m only giving you ten full minutes, which by the way, starts NOW!” Mina hanged up on me before I could even say that it takes twenty minutes from my house to hers. Eff my life.

-----------

“You know you’re late but you’re here anyway so let’s get going!” I was suddenly dragged by Chae-rin upstairs to Mina’s room with Mina herself leading the way, still talking. “We were picking some clothes, but it’s so hard to decide so thank goodness you arrived! Chae-rin’s just putting up something for you while we were prepping up awhile ago. I was initially against it, but then again...”

“I think it fits unnie well,” Chae-rin completed Mina’s sentence. She sounded so proud of herself. “You can’t really dress up like Mina unnie, because both of you are just so different.”

I had to look at Chae-rin’s confident smile. Girl’s the most stylish out of the bunch so I’m not that worried with the outfit she chose for me. “Let’s do this!” The three of us exchanged smiles before entering the room, where Bom was already expertly lining Minji’s eyes with black kohl eyeliner.

“Dara’s here, finally!” Mina sang cheerfully as we made our way across the bed where Bom and Minji were sitting. Bom looked at Minji’s eyes closely, surveying her work before looking up and smiling at us. “I thought you wouldn’t come!”

“Do you think I’d let that happen?” Mina asked incredulously. “No fcuking way. We had so many discussions about this for more than a month now, can’t really make all that go into waste.” She motioned for me to sit on the chair in front of her dresser while Chae-rin went on Mina’s closet to get some clothes. “Did you take a bath? You could take a shower in my bathroom to freshen yourself up.”

“I...I took a bath,” I replied, almost speechless. I looked at Mina’s room; her bed with all the make-up and accessories, the shoes piling up beside her dresser, the clothes messily strewn across the floor. I looked at the girls, the friends I learned to love in less than three years; Bom casually dolling up Minji’s face, Chae-rin patiently sorting out the clothes I could wear, Mina frantically asking me if I wanted to borrow her necklace and what lipstick I feel like wearing.

And I thought of who I was back then, how Ji Eun and I would poke fun at people like Mina and the rest. I missed Ji Eun terribly even though we didn’t do anything like this for the most part, but weirdly enough, I feel thankful that I got to know these girls even though I felt how much I don’t deserve an ounce of what they’re doing to me.

“Oh my God, why are you crying?” Mina exclaimed as she went beside me immediately. Bom, Minji and Chae-rin dropped what they were doing in an instant and went to where I was sitting, too.

“Unnie, are you feeling well?” Minji asked, her face showing deep concern. She looked at Mina, whose face showed concern as well. “Mina unnie, maybe we should let her rest first?”

Mina looked at her watch. “We only got an hour before thet guests would start to arrive. But okay, if you feel like crying or sleeping for a bit, it’s alright...people tend to be fashionably late at parties anyway.”

I sniffed and roughly wiped my tears using the back of my hand. “N-no, it’s all good. I’m okay, I just...I just, I just feel thankful and overwhelmed that you guys are doing this much for me.”

“Omona.” Mina rolled her eyes. “I thought you were having cold feet! Dara, we’ve talked about this for quite some time now. We got your back. You stop thinking about how you don’t deserve this.”

“That’s true unnie,” Chae-rin agreed. “And besides, we still have an outfit to worry about now!”

“And make-up to think of,” Bom added. All of us laughed.

“And Jiyong oppa to prepare for.” Minji said last. We grew quiet for a while, surprised at Minji’s remark.

“See, maknae knows best!” Mina said afterwards. She and Minji high-fived each other. “So let’s get this done!”

----------------------

The party was in full swing already, and almost everyone Mina invited was there, wishing her a happy birthday, basically enjoying the party.

Except for Jiyong, Seunghyun, Youngbae, Daesung and Seungri. 11 PM already and there’s no sign of BigBang yet.

“Have you called Seunghyun?!” Mina was very chill and very much entertaining to the other guests a while ago, but now she’s frantic once again. 

“I know, but I kept on hearing his damned recorded message in return!” Bom sighed in frustration as well. She punched her cellphone keys hard this time. “I’m sending him my tenth message. If he doesn’t reply...argh!”

We were hanging out near the refreshments table, Mina, Bom and I. Our initial plan was to be strategically placed at all the corners of the room; Mina near the tables by the front door, Bom on the refreshments table, Chae-rin at the living room turned dance floor, Minji near the grand staircase so she could see right away who’s coming. Moi? Well, let’s just say I was made to wander everywhere and pretend to mingle with the guests. Unfortunately, two hours without BigBang arriving anytime soon, Mina decided to hang out at the refreshments table because she said she was feeling dizzy with all the tension and that she needed a drink. Not long after I followed suit. Minji and Chae-rin did the same, but people started to wonder why we where huddled near the refreshments table like that. So, Minji volunteered to stay outside to get some air and literally waiting there, while Chae-rin excused herself to go to the bathroom for a moment.

“Maybe they won’t come,” I said, feeling rejected more than ever. I know it wasn’t my party, but maybe Jiyong did veto the idea. He didn’t want to see me at all. Well, point very much taken.

“We don’t need any other form of negativity in here,” Mina replied through gritted teeth. “They will come. I swear because you knew how much I threatened Seunghyun to ----”

She wasn’t able to finish her sentence because all of a sudden, people near the front door cheered. All of us looked up, only to see Jiyong making his way with the rest of BigBang following behind, greeting the others who were already hanging out near the door.

“About fcukin’ time!” Mina rejoiced as Bom and I sighed in relief. Thank goodness they were here ---

“The fcuk?!” Mina exclaimed angrily. Our good moment was short-lived, as it turned out.

Aera was actually walking beside Jiyong, her arms clutched around his. Her head was bowed down, as if she felt really embarrassed for coming at Mina’s birthday bash, well, uninvited. And if I only knew how to aptly describe the hurt I felt when I saw them so close together, I would’ve done it. Seeing him hurt so bad. Seeing him with Aera of all people totally topped everything bad that happened to me these past few months. Fcuk my life.

Mina wasted no time in showing her disgust about this. She marched up at them, smiling a little, but I knew for a fact that her eyes were already shooting cold daggers at Aera, Jiyong and...Seunghyun.

“Hi, welcome. Thank you very much for coming, I thought you guys wouldn’t make it.” She bowed down graciously at the five of them. “Please come in!”

Jiyong tipped an imaginary hat at Mina and continued to walk and mingle with the other guests inside the room, Aera tagging along him. Ouch. Youngbae, Daesung and Seungri then exchanged light hugs with her, all of them greeting her affectionately, like normal brothers would. Mina played along really well; she pretended to graciously let them inside her house to talk with other people, until all was left of BigBang at the front door was Seunghyun. He was about to touch Mina’s arm but Mina walked away and went straight back to us. Seunghyun followed suit.

“Mina...” Seunghyun started as both of them were with us at the refreshments table. “I was -- “

“Don’t fcukin talk to me.” Mina cut him off coldly. I’ve never seen her so pissed like this before.

“I’m so sorry! I did talk to them about your party privately. I really did. But you know her, girl won’t stop bugging the rest of us!”

“You know, deep in my heart I know you couldn’t do anything about this. But what should I do? Aera totally ruined my birthday! Totally ruined my -- our plans, fine. But my birthday! And the nerve of Jiyong to just tip that fcukin imaginary hat at me like I owe the two of them this party!” Mina stamped her foot angrily. “Just. Fcukin. Frustrating!” 

“Mina,” I started, trying to calm the two of them down. “It’s okay. It’s your party, you don’t have to let them ruin it. You shouldn’t hate on Aera, this is all my fault to begin with.”

“But what shall we do now?”

“Look, I’ll try to break them off,” Seunghyun offered. “I will -- “

“Oh just redeem yourself in another way, oppa.” Mina snapped angrily. “I don’t want to be mad at you and I’m sorry, but maybe you should just go some place else and leave us alone.”

“Han Mina!” I exclaimed, surprised at her cold attitude towards Seunghyun. He doesn’t deserve it, and a part of me knew that Mina felt that way too, but she was so angry that it scared me. I looked at Seunghyun’s crestfallen face and hugged him. I could feel Mina scoff at me as I did so, but I could care less. Seunghyun was a big help. “Thank you. And I’m sorry, you’re getting a lot of sh1t from us.”

“I understand,” Seunghyun said quietly. He let go of me and looked at Aera. “I’m gonna make it up to you. I might not be able to redeem myself but...” He hesitated for a while before he continued talking. “Happy birthday.” 

“What was that all about?” I asked Mina after Seunghyun left. “You don’t do that on someone who’s helping us!!!”

Mina crossed her arms and sighed. “I know. I feel guilty, okay? Oppa’s a nice person, but that b1tch...” 

“We should just ignore Aera.” 

Mina gasped while Bom almost spat out her drink, surprised. “What did you say?”

“We should just ignore it. Jiyong and I might not talk at all tonight, but Mina, it’s your birthday. Let’s just party.”

“If we were in a normal situation, I would have laughed at you, Ssantokki,” Bom replied, giggling a little as she did so. “You said let’s just party but your face looked like you weren’t in the mood for partying at all.”

“Well, I’m a bit mad but since it’s my birthday, why don’t we just ‘party’ and dance the night away? Fcuk them try hard couple, they ain’t gonna last. Girl’s not gonna last one more day at YGE, even.”

“Aish, the haterade Han Mina!” Bom shook her head in mock disappointment, and I had to laugh at ourselves for being so into our plans that we almost forgot that we could just save it for later and party. “Save that angst for the dance floor!”

------------------------------

12:30 AM, party’s in full swing. People were already drunk enough (save for Minji and Chae-rin) to let go of their inhibitions on the dance floor. One, two, drinks of beer even made Bom the happy, y bunny that she was during our practices at YGE; she was dancing with Youngbae carelessly, much to the guy’s embarrassment, haha. But well, everybody seemed to have forgotten the tension; Mina was busting hard some dance moves with Chae-rin beside her as if no one was watching, laughing louldy as they twirled and did some complicated steps, trying to outdo each other. Minji, I did not know where she went, but I remember Jiyong asking Seungri to talk to her...and make her stay out of the alcoholic drinks as much as possible. Yes, Jiyong.

I took a swig of my beer as I was dancing to no one in particular on the dance floor. I bumped into Se7en once, and while he laughed at my drunken clumsiness, he still danced with me for a while.

“Are you ok?” Se7en had to shout a little as he talked to me. The sounds were cranked up high, and nobody could talk using their normal voices.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure!” I answered back. I gyrated playfully at him and he had to hold both of my arms to stop me. “Aren’t you feeling tipsy?” He shouted (a little) once again. He was saying this lightly, laughing in between pauses. All seemed done in good fun. “I think you should sit first!”

“No sitting!” I answered back. I swayed my hips again along with his. “Just dancing!”

He suddenly stopped dancing and just stood in front of me. Was he worried?.“Stay here. I’ll get you some water!” He took the bottle away from me without any warning (and to which I protested) and walked away.

Oh, well. I continued to dance and move around the dance floor, talking randomly to other people. 

Until I bumped to another person. Seunghyun.

“Where the heck is Han Mina?” Seunghyun screamed at my ears. Sh1t. Guy has some issues. 

“I don’t know!” I screamed back. I put my arms around him and danced rather seductively. 

Or perhaps I just looked drunk, because Seunghyun cringed and gently moved my arms away from him. “Are you drunk?”

“I just had three fcukin bottles of beer!”

“Holy sh1t, don’t be like this here, you might get in trouble!”

“I am already in trouble!”

“Where the fcuk is Han Mina?!”

“Hey brotha, I’m standing right beside you already!” Seunghyun and I looked at Mina who was making her way out of the people dancing. She was half tipsy, too.

Seunghyun grabbed her hand as he tried to get outside of the dance floor. He was clutching his mobile phone, too. What is up?

Oh well, I’ll just dance. Par-tay!

-------------------

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Loudest scream I ever heard. People stopped dancing. Music stopped playing.

“Who the hell screamed?” Someone commented, pissed that the partying stopped.

“Han Mina, what the eff?!!!!!!”

“OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!”

“Thank you, now I bet my friend won’t do favors for me anymore!” Seunghyun shouted bitterly.

I was feeling a bit dizzy, but I tried my best to walk over to where they were standing. Mina seemed to have gotten out of her drunken stupor, for she was spazzing like mad. Again?

“Can, can...can someone tell me what happened?” I asked to no one in particular, my words slurring.

“Kim Jaejoong.” Han Mina said simply.

“Fcuk yeah. Told you I was going to make it up to you. But it doesn’t mean you have to scream at him on the phone! Hotdamn, woman!”

Murmurs were heard everywhere. So story was, Seunghyun called his “good” friend Jaejoong and asked for a favor -- greet Han Mina a happy birthday. But then the moment Han Mina recognized the voice, she forgot everything immediately. She transformed into that hardcore fangirl of his that we saw two weeks ago. 


“Give me back my phone!”

Mina gave her a big hug instead. The music started again and someone started passing beers around and the just like that, the party was in full swing. I shook my head a little as I made my way to the dance floor. Damn right, let’s all dance all night.

I gyrated, swayed my hips, moved my head back and forth, as if in a trance. I was bumping people along the way, but I didn’t care. 

And for the nth time, I bumped into another person once again.

“Fcuk.” I muttered to myself. That bump was like no other. It was a guy, and since he made no intention of moving aside to let me pass, I placed my arms around him and danced as if nothing happened. 

“You’re drunk.” He stated flatly, but he didn’t remove my arms around him His voice sounded familiar.

And then it hit me.

No. 

I looked up and saw Jiyong’s face. He was looking at me, his face unreadable. I stopped dancing in an instant. 

Actually, the world stopped. We were standing so close, I could almost smell his cologne, actually feel his presence. I could feel someone’s heart beating loudly. I’m too drunk to know whose heart was doing somersaults right now, however.

“It’s yours,” He said simply, as if reading my mind. I couldn't grasp his thoughts, his feelings. For the first time tonight, I wished I wasn’t that drunk. If I knew this would happen I wouldn’t even think of numbing myself over. Pabo.

“I...” I slowly removed my arms away from his, but I was able to do this completely, his arms somehow s its way to my waist.

Holding me in place.

“Jiyong.”

He pretended not to hear anything, and his arms tightened on my waist, almost pulling us closer than ever. Why is he doing this?

“Jiyong...”

“Sh1t,” he cursed. The next thing I knew he was grabbing my arm and dragging me away from the dance floor, much to the surprise of everybody in the party.