Dara:

DaraYong.

SanJi.

DaraJi.

SanYong.

DaraGon.

Aah, couple names. I should be practicing my solo but instead I'm here, doodling some random stuff in my notebook. I've been in heaven ever since I -- we had our confession together. It's just so freakin amazing. Can you imagine waking up happy, thinking of that amazing person and be thrilled to know that that person feels the same way too? There was definitely a certain skip with my walk, a certain flip of my hair, and a certain way my lips would smile. I just can't focus whenever he's around; I always had the urge to look at him whenever he's there. 

And I can't sleep at night, either. Because finally, reality was better than the dreams I used to have. And I'm saying that with a huge slppy grin on my face. 

You must practice for you solo, Dara. The "logical" side of my mind reminded me. You should be writing your personal assessment on that notebook.

I agreed and tried to focus, but I ended up writing something different.

Kwon Sandara

Kwon Dara

Sandara Kwon

Sandara Park - Kwon

Mrs. Kwon Jiyong

And I drew some hearts around these names, mind you. Somebody's really in love! I was about to add some couple names more when my mobile phone rang all of a sudden.

"Hello?"

"Dara!!!" Ji Eun's cheerful voice greeted me from the other line, and I had to jolt back from reality. She cannot know or even notice that there was something different about me now. Just no.

"Ji! Hi! So, what's up?"

"Haha, nothing much. I just realized how much I missed you. Are you free tonight? I mean let's hang-out for good old times sake!"

Uh-oh. I was planning to drop by YG so I could see Jiyong. Late this afternoon. I mean we were talking about it last night and seriously it took me 3 hours to able to sleep soundly. I was that excited to meet him once again. What should I tell Ji Eun? We can't hang out today because I'm preparing for my solo? But she'll get suspicious! 

"So, how about it?" Ji Eun voice found its way back to my consciousness. I didn't want to let her down after that disappointment that she got last time.

"Well, is it alright if you like, go right now? I'm staying over Bommie's house later tonight. I can't seem to get the notes in my song right, she offered to help me choose a better song to sing."

"Wow, and what happened to you asking me for some advice before," Ji Eun commented under her breath. "Oh well, that's cool. I'll be there in ten minutes!" She half yelled on the other line and we hung up.

I stared at the phone for almost five minutes, feeling guilty because I lied to her yet again. It's better this way, I said to myself.It's better this way.

----------------------------

"You know what I really miss doing with you?"

I stopped leafing through song books as I looked up at Ji Eun's thoughtful face. He we were in my room, lazing around and talking about random topics. Weird, because when we were talking on the phone she seemed really excited to see me, like she's in the mood to do something. But then again almost an hour into my bedroom and she seemed, I don't know, a bit lazy.

Regardless of my thoughts about it, I asked her still. "What?"

Ji Eun moved closer to me and rested her head on my shoulder affectionately. "I miss us dissing and hating on Kwon Jiyong."

I almost choked when she said those words. WHAT? "Really?!"

"Really. I mean in the first place that's what we wanted, right? But you became so busy and you don't really see him because he's busy promoting, too. It's like, you can't get the dirt on him because he's not there. I say your being a trainee is just so useless." She rolled her eyes for emphasis and giggled to cover up her sarcasm. "You spend your time practicing that you rarely even visit that anti-forum both of us founded. Or even the anti fan cafe. It's a bit sad, the other antis are missing your witty anti posts about him."

I closed the song book I was looking through and sighed. "Ji, as much as I want to spend my time hanging out in the forums, I can't. I'm always on my toes perfecting all the things I could perfect. Songs, dances, language lessons, personality development. Simply put, I don't have time for those things as of now."

"Then why don't you quit?"

That's the time I really looked at her. She suggested it so nonchalantly as if it was the easiest thing to do in the world. 

"It's not that easy, Ji Eun."

"What's so hard about it?" She argued back. "I mean I did some research and they did have another trainee before. What was her name, May Doni? She was the same as you but she quit anyways. I didn't see YG going batsh1t crazy over it."

"I heard about her. But she didn't exactly quit, she just changed companies, I think."

"Regardless," Ji Eun said dismissively, ignoring my reply. "the point is she wanted to leave and she left. And that girl has some major talent, mind you."

"So you are implying that I'm not that talented anyways so it's easier?" I'm used to hearing people comment about my talent [or lack thereof], but it hurts whenever I hear it from my best friend directly. 

"Dara, Dara, Dara. Ok, so I'm sorry if that's how you take my statement. It's just that, nothing's really happening with your YG gig, ok? Let's just go back to the old times."

That's where Ji Eun was wrong. A lot had happened ever since I entered YG to become a trainee. I discovered my passion. Met friends and had a new set of family who'll always have my back. I met Jiyong. And learned to love him. I just couldn't tell her all of these because I knew she wouldn't be happy about it at all. 

"Are you mad?"

"No." I forced myself to smile a little just to assure Ji Eun that I was fine. "I won't quit now, I mean who knows? I might still have the chance to ruin him."

Ji Eun grinned. "That's my girl. So since we only have a few more minutes to hang out, let's do something that we used to do before." She stood up and went to open my computer. "Type a testament or two against Jiyong, how about it?"

I bit my lip. I wasn't ready for that. I was trying to keep Ji Eun away from my computer as much as possible so as to avoid writing nasty things about Jiyong on the net. 

But Ji Eun was unstoppable. She already signed me in on the forum as well as on the anti fan cafe. "Get your trap here and write a comment. They miss you." 

I reluctantly took a seat in front of my computer and started typing away, hoping deep in my heart that Jiyong won't see this, or worse, discover that it was I who wrote it.

Jiyong:

"You're late."

Dara smiled shyly as she closed the door behind her. We were supposed to meet at the rooftop at around 7 PM but she was half an hour late. I couldn't wait to see her so it seemed like 3 whole hours of waiting for her to come. Both of us knew that we're on a much different level now, but then again neither one of us had acknowledged it exactly. I bet both us didn't care anyway because the feeling was just mutual and a bit intense. 

"I'm so sorry," She said, that shy smile never leaving her face. "I was just practicing a lot for my solo so I kinda forgot the time. Have you been waiting for so long?"

"Oh, no. Not really. I mean, I wouldn't have mined you being late if it was all for your upcoming solo." I took her hand and led her to stand beside me as we gazed at the stars above. "Did it go well?"

She crinkled her nose disapprovingly. "Nah. It was bad, as always. I couldn't seem to get things right. I just hope I could ace the solos two weeks from now." 

I couldn't help but laugh a little with how cute she looked right now. I didn't really now what to say because everything between us just seemed so foreign even though it does give me a very pleasant feeling. 

"Why are you laughing?"

"Oh. I--I..." I pinched her nose because I couldn't contain myself anymore with how adorable she looked. "I don't know. You're a bit frustrated and you really look cute whenever you're like that."

"Hey!" She hissed, touching her nose lightly. "Dammit, that hurt a little. I bet you won't be thrilled if I'd do the same thing to you when you're feeling a little pissed."

I smirked. "Try doing the same thing to me, then."

"Aigoo," She was blushing but she pinched my nose back, a bit harder than what I did to her earlier. "There you go. You make me feel more embarrassed than I already am."

I caught her hand before it could top pinching my nose. Her eyes got wide in surprise and she struggled a bit so I could let goof her, to no avail. I just wanted to hug her once again. 

I could feel her sigh in contentment as I was able to successfully put my arms around her. "I could stay forever like this."

I playfully rested my chin on her shoulder as I held her tighter. "That's a very cheddar thing to say. Seunghyun would die from laughter once he hears that coming out of your mouth." I was tempted to nuzzle her neck a little but I was a little afraid of what might happen next so I just sighed heavily to mask off the temptation. "But nonetheless, I have the same feelings, too."

I could hear her giggling softly as we were getting more comfortable with each other. "Your breath kinda tickles me. I'm having huge butterflies in my stomach just from thinking about the sensation. You're right, Seunghyun would probably die once he sees us like this,"

"Hmm. Or maybe he'd get so jealous he wished he didn't help us getting our acts together." I took a deep breath once again, totally inhaling her addictive scent. "Yes, he'll get jealous."

"But are we, or aren't we?"

I blinked my eyes for a few times when I heard her question. "What do you mean?"

"Well, if we are a couple or..."

"You did say you love me, right?" I asked nervously. I couldn't help but feel a little paranoid of her actions sometimes. 

"I did say I love you," She replied, "very much."

"Good. So we are a couple," I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. We looked good together.

"What about your fan girls?" I don't really know where the hell Dara gets these questions, it makes me feel funny. It's like she's testing all the waters when we could have jumped at the opportunity right then and there.

"Oh. I was so in cloud nine I forgot about them. Well, I guess you know that we can't really...we can't really tell everyone. That's just the way it is."

"I know," she whispered softly. "sometimes it , you know? Even if I'd tell them about it, people would think I'm just being delusional."

I couldn't help but laugh at her simple remark. "Don't worry, we can date secretly. It's kinda romantic, when you put it that way. I've always wanted to be your paramour."

"That word again!" She turned around to face me just so she could pinch my cheeks. "But that's kinda a good idea. I'd be thrilled having this secret lovers thing under wraps!"

She stopped pinching me and proceeded with giving me soft touches on my cheeks. We were just staring at each other as she was doing that. It was like we were having this staring match to see who would be the first one to get lost staring at each other's eyes. 

Apparently I didn't have enough strength to fight off this weird effect she was having on me. I closed my eyes and I heard her let out a small cry of victory. She pumped her fists in the air and was about to that little dance of hers when I opened my eyes once again, grabbing her hands just in time. She was a bit surprised, and blushed deeply as I started placing soft kisses on them.

"Jiyong..." her voice called out to me, but I was too intoxicated to know or care about why she was calling me that way.

"I'm just. glad. that. we're. together." It took me some time to complete what I was saying because I was too busy kissing her hands. 

She sighed deeply as she replied, "I know right. I'm just glad we get to spend time together, period. Both of us know how hard this is gonna be because we can't go public with our current status." She removed her hands away from my grasp just so she could put her arms on my neck, drawing the two of us closer together. "But it's not really a problem. I'm fine with people not knowing. It's quite exciting, really."

Both of us laughed at the thought. The idea of having to keep things under wraps thrilled us; it made things even more special between us. I'm sure as hell to give away everything right now in exchange for something like this -- Dara and I, as close as we could possibly be; our foreheads almost touching, breaths mingled together, hearts beating as one. I'd give away every second of my life just to stay like this.

Our faces were merely centimeters apart now, our noses almost touching. I think she had an idea of what I intended to do next because she was still moving her face closer.

"Dara..." I'm almost out of my wits now. If I could only feel her lips on mine at this very moment I would probably lose my sanity.

She was still doing the same thing, dammit. Closer...close enough to...

BAM!

Both of us jumped in surprise as we automatically let go of each other. We looked at the entrance door of the rooftop, now closed once again as if that loud noise was just a figment of our imagination.

We both looked at each other. Someone saw us. Together, and almost kissing.

And I guess it was obvious that the person wasn't very happy about it.
 

Preview: Chapter 21

Seunghyun:

I pretended not to see her as she sat on the empty chair beside me. She's just one of those girls. One of those girls pretending to not mind what everybody else was doing except themselves. Hiding their true personality behind those pretty faces. I've always thought that she'd be a two-faced b1tch. I guess she really was.

"Stop acting like you don't care," she hissed at me, trying to grab my attention. Not in her life time. Ever. "You and I both know, Choi Seunghyun. Enough with your nonchalant act."

I was so tempted to spit out the wine I was drinking in front of her. If she wasn't I girl I swear I would have punched her in the face. "Big deal. Leave me alone and I'll do the same."

She laughed that 'look-at-me' laugh of hers. "You're actually choosing her instead of your good friend?"

Oh please. And this girl actually had the audacity to boggle my conscience. "Stop being a hypocrite b1tch. I'd like to get into this with actually understanding both sides, thank you."

That annoyed her more than anything else. It pissed her off so much that she actually threw a lot of cuss words at me.

"Hypocrite? Hell yeah I am. At least I'm not turning a blind eye over serious matters that might hurt your friend deeply."

I decided not to reply. Let her talk and b1tch all she wants.

She was glaring at me with such hatred, mad that she wasn't able to elicit the reaction she was expecting from me. "You knew, Seunghyun. You knew all about that black notebook. You knew it all along."