Donghae woke up the next morning with a mild headache. He groaned softly and got out of bed and into the bathroom for his morning routine. He washed his face with cold water and then stared at himself in the mirror. A frown crept its way to his face. He gently traced the dark circles under his eyes, his pale cheeks, his dry lips, and tugged lightly on his messy hair.

               He never thought he could look so exhausted from the outside. It was then that it struck him- He was changing to the heavyhearted, disheveled, and tense person he was almost a year ago. He swallowed the lump in his throat and his heart starting pounding against his ribcage. He couldn't change- for the sake of his friends and family, for the sake of Hyukjae.

                 Donghae walked downstairs as soon as he was ready to leave. He walked into the kitchen and pecked his mother's cheek, "Bye, mom." He said softly. The pretty, middle-aged woman frowned, "You seem to get more and more tired by the day, sweety. Are you okay?" Donghae could only smile nervously, "Y-Yeah. It's just that our exams are starting and I've been staying up at night to study. Don't worry about it."

                  The woman gave him a small smile, though he knew she wasn't convinced with his excuse. She gently took his hand and led him to the living room, "Well, let's moisturize that dry skin of yours, shall we?" She grinned, causing the younger to chuckle. She gently applied some sort of perfumed lotion onto his cheeks, nose, forehead, and chin, and whispered, "There, you're ready to go."  

                    As soon as he was out of the house, Donghae put his headphones on and pulled his MP3 player out. He started walking to the beat with a small smile on his face when he realized that Hyukjae's favorite song was playing.

                   As he walked over to the University gates, he almost immediately caught Hyoyeon, Siwon and Hyoyeon sitting together on one bench near the door. He smiled to himself and walked over to Hyoyeon, pressing her back against his chest in a friendly hug.

                   The blonde yelped in surprise and shoved her elbow into the younger's stomach by accident. Donghae groaned and clutched onto his abused spot, "What was that for?!" He whined as he took a seat…on Siwon's lap. Hyoyeon giggled, "Oh, sorry."

                  Heechul grinned and ruffled Donghae's already messy orange locks, "Well, someone seems happy today." The younger only nodded in response. Siwon frowned, "Hey, did you stay up late last night?" Donghae avoided eye contact, "No."

                  "Yes you did. When did you sleep?" Siwon once more inquired. Donghae only sighed in defeat, "Three." Heechul gaped, "Dang, what were you doing until three?" Donghae shrugged, "Talking to Hyukkie." Hyoyeon squealed and hugged the younger, "How sweet!"

                   Siwon smiled, "Well, how is he, then?" Donghae looked down, "I don't know. He seemed so scared, and his voice sounded like he was about to collapse." Everyone quieted down at that. Siwon bit his lip, "Damn. He must be not used to being away for so long. It's been nearly a month and a half after all."

                   Donghae visibly paled and whispered, "A month and a half…" Heechul let out a small smile and held the younger's hand, "Hey, don't worry. He'll be back before you know it." Donghae suddenly tensed up and shot up from Siwon's lap. His expression was unreadable, which worried them even more. He fisted the hem of his shirt and shook his head frantically, "N-No. I know it, he won't come back. He'll never come back, Hyung. W-We all know it. Hyukkie won't return to me."

                    Siwon widened his eyes at the sudden outburst and swallowed, "Hae, calm down and stop being so negative about everything. Hyukjae will come back, sooner or later." He said sternly, yet somehow softly. Donghae bit his lip, "Stop fooling yourselves!" He won't come back! He'll grow used to living there and he'll meet someone else, a-and then...and then he'll refuse to come back here. He'll build another life there in New York."

                 Heechul was shocked. Never had he seen Donghae so angry and upset to the point of breaking down like this. He knew the younger was trying so hard to stay strong and responsible, and at the same time, wait for Hyukjae, wait for him until he's back, even it takes him years. He knew how fragile Donghae was behind his hard shell.

                 He slowly walked over to the younger and pulled him into his arms, "Hey. Relax, baby." He whispered soothingly. Donghae inhaled sharply and widened his eyes when he finally realized what he had said moments ago, "O-Oh my god. I don't believe in Hyukkie anymore! I-I just said he'll meet someone else and leave me! Oh n-no…"

                 Heechul shook his head and pulled Donghae further into his embrace, "No, Hae. You're just scared and worried. Don't worry about it. The whole world knows you love Hyukjae and vice versa, right?" Donghae nodded quickly, causing Heechul to smile, "Well then, what's there to worry about?"

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                   Hyukjae inhaled the fresh scent of the park as he sat on one of benches and stared at the happy, carefree children play on the swings and sand. He let out a bitter smile and leaned back onto the bench. He knew deep inside that he wouldn't last long.

                   He knew how incredibly hard it was for him to work on what he wants, and at the same time take care of Donghae. He let out a small, sad smile. He knew had to sacrifice one of the two sooner or later. He sighed to himself, knowing all too well that he couldn't let the younger go no matter what. It was simply impossible.

                   However, he also knew that Seoul didn't have any opportunities for him to become someone big. Hyukjae was thinking for a while now, and he still couldn't come up with a conclusion. Suddenly, it hit him like a bag of bricks- Why should he force himself to be well-known by people for his good work?

                    This isn't right. He has to work hard to become successful, which also meant it'll take years, since this isn't easy. This was unfair for Donghae, he couldn't possibly make him wait that long. Hyukjae was considering going back to Seoul and work hard over there, even though he knew all too well that he most probably wouldn't get as much chances as he could in New York. But then again, it's not up to him to just simply go back and leave his current college and his family. How is he going to work things out?

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                     Donghae went over to Siwon's house that day, since he insisted on wanting to spend time with him for a while. The smaller of the two munch slowly on one of the cookies Siwon's mother had kindly offered them and stayed silent.

                    Siwon rolled his eyes, "Why are you so quiet?" Donghae looked up on him, "M-Me? Oh. It's nothing." Siwon decided to just shrug it off and instead cheer his friend up, "Wanna play basketball?" Donghae stared at him weirdly, "We're only two, Wonnie." Siwon chuckled, "I'm aware of that." He abruptly grabbed the smaller guy's hand and dragged him out of the house and into a basketball field nearby. Donghae smiled and gave Siwon a brief hug.

"Thank you, Wonnie."

"For what?"

"I know all too well that you hate basketball. You're just trying to cheer me happy."

"I know, I'm just that loveable."

                    Donghae giggled and hit Siwon playfully on the shoulder. The taller of the two smiled, "You're finally laughing; it's about time. We missed the happy side of you." Donghae smiled and grabbed a free basketball, "Me too."

                    After hours of playing and running around the field, the two quite literally collapsed to the pavement and started to pant heavily. Donghae moved closer to Siwon and gave him a loose, weak hug, "You're the best." He gasped out between his pants. Siwon grinned and lazily pulled Donghae closer to you, "It's my job, Hae. You've been my best friend for twenty years now." Donghae smiled and nodded against the other's chest, "Twenty years..." He whispered, more to himself than to Siwon.

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                     Hyukjae lay down on his bed that night and stared aimlessly at the ceiling. I should probably talk to Dad about this. He bit his lip and tossed around the bed, unable to get into a comfortable position. He was just so tensed up.

                     He reached out for his phone and started scrolling through his pictures, smiling genuinely to himself as pictures of him and Donghae came up. He caressed the screen of his phone with his thumb. He so badly missed holding Donghae in his arms. He felt so empty sleeping alone, eating alone, studying alone, and going out alone. Even though he was with his family, the once close relationship they had no longer exists. They barely even see each other anymore.

                  Hyukjae sniffled and realized that even if he did everything he ever wanted, he wouldn't be satisfied. He wouldn't be happy with himself. He knew all too well that this needed to end, and he couldn't sacrifice the relationship he had with the person he cared for the most for his own wish. 

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A/N: *Clears throat*

So I just wanted to let you know that the drama will soon be ending. WOOHOO *throws confetti*