OMG his arm is so....y haha i have a thing about buff arms and it looks soooo good on him hehehe

sry I took a long time guys I even lost a few subbies cuz they were to ancy to wait lol thats ok though I have the rest of you lovelies. Thank you for being so patient!

enjoy^_~ (sowwie if theres typos I bashed this ch. out of me last night lol)

_______________________________________________________♥

Congratulations class of 2015!!

The crowd roared, creating a concert like feel in the University arena. Horns were sounded while confetti projected into the sky, fluttering over the graduates whose caps flew in every direction.

I kept my gaze up above me and smiled. I’m done with school. I’m beginning a new future and starting a new life for myself. Next is to find out where it will lead me.

----------------

I slipped through and passed thousands of people I felt like I would never find my way out of the bundle of families and graduates going by. I scanned the lawn filled with people in attempt to find my family but they were no where I could see.

“OOOOFF!!” Her body was small but it felt like a wrecking ball had rammed into my back causing my knees to give out and fall onto the grass.

“Oops!” she giggled “Sorry love I didn't mean to-”

“It’s okay just get off me girl!!” 

Kieu gaped and quickly rolled off my back and helped me stand up. I brushed off the grass and smoothed out my dress which surprisingly had no dirt or grass stains. I smiled approvingly and gave her a thumbs up.

“I’m all good!” 

Suddenly Kieu’s lip started to quiver. She wrapped her arms around my neck and held me close. “We’re finally done..” she sniffed “..I’m so happy you stayed with me until the end!” I heard her voice begin to shake and I soothingly rubbed her back.

“What’s this “END” stuff your talking about? Its only the beginning!” 

Kieu chuckled through her cry and pulled away. She carefully dabbed her tears away with her gown in attempt to not ruin her make up. We stared at each other for a bit when I heard my name being called behind me.

“LAYLA!!” I turn around to see my dad trying to wave me down. So excited to have finally found him I wave back and turn to Kieu.

“I’ll see you tonight?” she asks

I nod “I meet you later” I hug her one last time and run towards my dad.

His arms open wide for me and close tight once I meet his chest. “I’m so proud of you!!”

I squeeze him tighter as I feel my eyes start to get teary. “I love you Daddy!”

He pulls away and looks at me with a loving smile “I love you too!”. He noticed my eyes were beginning to well up so he kisses my forehead and wraps his arm around my neck “Ready to go?”

I nod as he leads us to our car where I found a small box sitting on the passenger seat.

“What’s this?” I look at him curiously

He grins “It’s for you but don’t open it yet wait until we get there”

Listening to his request I jump into the passenger seat, buckle myself in and place the box securely in my lap while my dad starts the car and gets on the busy freeway

------

We walked up the breezy hill, admiring all the greenery of the tress, grass, and bushes neatly kept along the walkway with the view of many flowers, balloons, decorative gates other families had brought for their loved ones.

Reaching the last hump right before the top of the hill where the view of the whole city was captured, we stopped in front of her plaque. I smile and place the bouquet of flowers we brought her in the plotted vase that was installed next to her plaque.

“Hi Mommy!” I try my best not to cry “I finally graduated Grad School it was a wonderful ceremony” I hear my dad shuffle his feet to walk closer to me “I was so happy you were there to see me finish college and even though you weren't in the crowd today I felt you were watching me in spirit...I felt your prescence..” I let my tear falls while I continued to speak to her “..you were there holding my hand in line waiting to go on stage to receive my degree even now when I cant see, or touch you physically, your always in my heart and I will never forget to remember that feeling of you always being by my side.....but...I-I miss you so much mommy!!” my knees gave out onto the grass in front of her grave and cried into my hands.

My Dad quickly knelt down and hugged me tight in the small ball I had huddled into.

“I LOVE YOU MOM!!! SOO MUCH!!!” I blared at the top of my lungs making sure she heard me loud in clear. I’ve been stronger in coping with my mother’s loss but days like today, or holidays where I would always expect her to be there presenting me with her warm smile pains me so much I can’t suppress my feelings no longer than a second before I crumble into pieces like a small girl searching for her mom that wont ever come back.

My Dad rubbed my back while pulling my body into his chest to console me. I can feel him wanting to cry with me but when I went to look at his face all he did was smile. There was sorrow in his eyes but he kept a peaceful expression in order to stay strong for me. That was always my Father’s nature. He would always be their to protect me no matter what happened. Even when I was a rebellious teenager he always tried his best to keep me close so that he could understand me and would constantly remind me that I was loved unconditionally.

He pointed to my hands where I had gripped tight onto the small box he gave me earlier. I glanced down at the box and back to him.

“It’s from your mother and I...she wanted to be the one to give it to you but I least you can open it beside her” he tapped my fist gesturing me to untie its wrapping.

I nodded and quickly wiped my tears to clear my vision. I rubbed the silky ribbon between my fingers and smiled at my mom before beginning to open it. I released the knot and popped off the top of the box revealing my mother’s necklace with the small diamond pendant dangling at the bottom I had always admired since I was young. I carefully pulled the chain from the box and held it out to observe the diamond sparkle beneath the sun’s bright rays. 

“Thank you”

My dad pulled me in for a hug. “Want me to put it on for you?” I nodded and moved my hair so he could latch it on.

“Uhh...your going to wear both of those necklaces?” 

I touched my chest where the necklace Yoseob gave me played between my fingers. I smiled at my dad. “I never go a day without wearing it...and the same will hold true for mom’s necklace as well”

He gave me a wary look and let it go. Back then talking about Yoseob was a sensitive subject so he didn't probe any further.

“Done” 

I let my hair down and grabbed my mother’s necklace admiring it softly in my hand. Now both of them will always be beside me no matter where I am. 

My Dad pet my head happy that I loved the gift.

“What time do you need to leave?”

I looked at my wrist watch and grimaced. I was almost time to go to the airport with Kieu which also meant my Dad would be by himself for while. “Soon”

He sighed then glanced at my mother’s grave and back to me “Well let’s get going! We wouldn't want you to miss your flight!”

I chuckled “Yah right! she would be crying by now begging me to stay!!..” I joked but then wondered “Why aren't you?”

Me and my Dad stood up and began walking back down the hill to our car figuring out how he would answer me. “I...want you to be happy...thats all I ever wanted for you and if that meant you had to go away for a while its fine with me because you will always be my only daughter that I love and will always be here to support you with anything you decide to do”

Like always my body was ready to cry but I held back. I wanted to smile for my Dad and show him I am the strong daughter he raised me to be “I love you Daddy!”

He smiled and wrapped his arm around my shoulder “I’ll always love you!”

[That night at the Airport]

“You ready?” Kieu squeaked but tried her best to be calm

I laughed at her but I didn't answer. I couldn't reply to her. What I was really feeling wasn't what a typical girl should feel if she were going back to the man she loved. No not me. I felt like I had no reason to be excited I don't even think I’ll get the reaction I want when I see him. My mind is full of doubt and wonder. Thinking that things probably wont be the same when I return and thats what I kept anticipating but now that the day is here Im so scared. 

Once I got back home I went straight to the hospital. I stayed with my mother for days I didn't even bother to go to school or contact anyone. I’ll I cared about was my mother and after she had passed my whole world went upside down. I had no mother to care for me, Kieu was still in Korea so there were no other friends I had to console me, and No boyfriend to be by my side holding me until my strength was able to come back. I felt so alone and vulnerable I couldn't bare to contact Yoseob at that state. I didn't want him to worry about me. He has enough to worry about and it stayed like that for the past years. I haven't spoken to Yoseob since we said goodbye 3 years ago. I really don't know what to expect when I go back to see him.

------

After finally reaching the tunnel leading to the plane Kieu pulled me down the aisle to our seats.

“I wanna sit by the window! can I?”

I nodded trying to show as much expression as I could so she wouldn't worry.

She gripped my hand “Everything is going to be fine don't wor-”

I shook my head cutting her off. “I don't think so” I whispered

She frowned “What makes you think that? you love him don't you?”

I huffed a laughed. That wasn't a question that needed an answer “Of course I do but....its been so long I-”

“Then the more happier he’ll be when he gets to see you”

Tears threatened to fall but I fought them. He not even being around me for so long still left his mark on me. I am too in love with this man to be emotionally stable. Every thought I have of him makes my heart melt making my stomach flip and then I smile. I smile thinking about his smile and it continues to cycle that way. But even after all that was said to me I still have doubt that he could find someone better. Someone whose emotions aren't all over the place and someone who lives in the same country as him and would be there at his beckon call. I want to be her but somehow I feel like I don't deserve him. He is just too wonderful for me to even grasp the idea that he's mine. I touched my necklace.

Kieu nudged me pulling me out of my thoughts “Things will be just as they were when you guys parted but even better”

“You really think so?” I choked

She smiled reassuringly and gestured to my necklace ”I know so”

I tired my best to keep a positive mind but I wont know for sure until I see his face. If he looks at me the same way he did when I left I know there is still room for me in his heart. I want to believe that because he's occupied that space in my heart from the very beginning.

HOURSSSS later...

“Layla?” I felt her shove me. I mumbled her to stop. She smacked her lips “Layla! we’re here! we’re back in Seoul”

My eyes as flinched open in that second as if they haven't been shut closed for the past however many hours I don't dare to count.

Everyone on the plane began reaching for their carry-ons in the compartment above their heads while trying to make their way out of the plane as soon as they could. There were so many people me and Kieu decided to wait until the majority cleared before leaving.

Once we grabbed our things we exited the airport where Kieu’s family had been waiting to pick us up. The drive took a while but when we reached her house I was gobsmacked. It was a freaking mansion.

“Y-You live here?? h-how come you never showed me??”

She shrugged “Its not at big as you think now come lets get you packed in” She took my luggage out of the trunk and I followed her inside. I planned to stay with Kieu for while until ...well whenever I feel like my vacation was over. Well really I only had one plan in mind and Im willing to stay as long as I can to be with him.

Kieu showed me to a guest room that the was right next to hers. It was very spacious with modern interior and all things you would expect in such a glamorous house. I wouldn't mind staying as their guest forever. 

I began unpacking my things and putting them away when Kieu walked in and jumped on the bed. “Ahhh it feels so nice to be out of the airplane seat I have no idea how you got so comfortable sleeping that long”

I shrugged “My dreams kept me company” I laughed at the thought

“Oh that reminds me!” She quickly jumped off and scurried out the room and not a moment later came back with to strips of paper in her hand.

I glanced at her hand and back to her face “What’s that?”

She rolled her eyes “What does it look like?....their tickets”

“Tickets for what?”

She sighed and placed them on the dresser for me to see.

INKIGAYO MUSIC BROADCAST

I looked at her curiously “Who is performing?” I dared to ask

“Some groups...one of they might so happen to be Beast”

My heart jumped “B-Beast?”

She nodded “We’re going tomorrow night”

I gaped “SO SOON!! I-I haven't even prepared myself to see him and you already planned a meeting?? are you trying to kill me? what happens if-”

Kieu grabbed my face between her hands, squishing my cheeks together so I would stop talking. “Breathe.” she said calmly

I hesitated but ended up listening. I took in few breaths being able to relax my nerves. Once she felt I was good she let go of my face.

I looked at the tickets “How did you get them?”

“My Dad has connections to friends who work at the Inkigayo corporation and I wanted this to be your chance at seeing him if this may be the only way I think you should take advantage of it”

I bit on my cheek and quickly thought it over. I wanted to see him. Im actually dying to hold him but I’m so afraid of what to expect. Its been so long since I saw him. I felt so alone these past years I’m still unable to control my emotions. Having to leave my boyfriend and losing my mom in the same year really took a toll on me. I ended up putting thoughts in my head saying things might not work out the way I would hope. But I need to have hope or else I wouldn't be here looking for a chance to reunite with him. I’ve made my decision.

“Ok...I’ll go”

We walked in with thousands of fans already screaming before any of the groups came out.

“There still performing after so long?”

Kieu looks at me shocked “You know for having a boyfriend in the Kpop business Im surprised you haven't kept up with them”

I grimaced “I had other things on my mind”

Kieu softened her look and wrapped her arm around my shoulder to sympathize with me “It’s ok..” she kissed my head “..you’ll catch up with the things you missed”

I half heartedly smiled. We stood there waiting for the show to begin. I haven't seen them perform since...well the first time I was ever brought to one of these things. I wouldn't expect anything less from them though. They were truly entertaining and a very hardworking group.

Just then two men walked up onstage with mics in hand. The crowd roared when the spotlight finally fixated on them. At first I couldn't see who it was. My vision has gotten pretty bad but once heard them speak I knew who it was.

Kieu shook me “Layla!! its Yoseob! Yoseob and Kikwang are on stage!” she pulled me over to look in her view. I stood frozen.

It was him. He was right there in front of me a few feet away and I couldn't move a muscle in my body to flag him down I’ll I could do was stare. They spoke some words then went off stage to let the first group perform. My eyes followed him all the way off stage until he was out of my viewing range. I looked at Kieu.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded and gulped “Their not performing?”

She looked at the stage unsure “I don't know? they have a new song but I think they might just be MCing tonight!” she grimaced “I’m sorry Layla I guess we got tickets for the wrong day I was sure they would be up there but-”

I shook my head “No it was perfect. he looked perfect I couldn't ask for anything more”

She happily smiled “Well since you feel that way I think I can arrange something to make this even better”

I looked at her questionably “How?”

Kieu flashed me a mischievous grin making me very wary about what was going on in her mind.

Throughout out the rest of the show my eyes stayed locked on Yoseob. I noticed Kikwang here and there as I missed him too not being able to see him in a very long time but I always found my way back to Yoseob. He was so gorgeous I couldnt bring myself to take my eyes off him. Once the show ended Kieu had us wait until the majority of the crowd was gone until she grabbed my hand and hastily pulled me through the bunch of people to sneak back stage.

“K-KIEU What are we doing?!?” I asked her feeling afraid of being caught in a restricted area.

“Shush! just act normal!”

“How am I supposed to act normal? Where are you taking me?” 

We somehow made it backstage close by the dressing rooms without anyone stopping us. It was either they didn't see us or were too busy to pay any attention.

“Kieu I-”

“Shhh! look.” she pointed behind me

I looked over my shoulder glancing down the hall of dressing rooms. Chills vibed throughout my body as I slowly looked back at her “W-What do you expect me to do?”

She smirked “Your going to go down that hall, find his room and I’m sure you’ll no what to do from there!”

“But Kieu I-”

“Hurry go!! before they finally catch us here!!” she forcefully turned me around and with a light shove guided me toward the hall.

I looked back ready to protest “NO....Go Layla Now!! and don't screw it up” she said sternly before winking at me and waved goodbye.

She just left me here by myself. I didn't want to move any further but I knew if I didn't I would get kicked out and miss this opportunity. I took a deep breathe to calm my nerves.

“Ok Layla....you can do this?” Ugh this wasn't working. I paced back and forth trying to decide how to go about this when I heard my name being called.

“Layla?!”

My heart sank. I stopped my pacing and slowly looked to my side.

“Is...is it really you?!” he asked again with a bit of excitement in his voice.

“Ki...Kikwang?”

His smile grew wide “OMO!!” he ran closer to me and yanked me into his chest. He squeezed me tight and spun me around truly ecstatic to see it was really me. I smiled, it felt nice to get that reaction from him.

He set me down and pulled back to get a look at me “I-I cant believe your here!! when did you get back? did you move? where are you staying? how long are you staying?..” his questions kept coming like it rolled off his tongue. I laughed admiring his eagerness it was then he stopped talking.

He smiled “Wow you look-”

“The same??” I joked, giggling but he kept the same expression. His eyes grew soft and looked at my face.

“Beautiful”

I looked away shyly and pushed him lightly “No need to be so nice to me!”

“What?! its the truth!” he claimed honestly

I just shook my head and laughed “Well thank you”

He nodded happily. We stood their in silence for a bit until a thought hit is head. “Ah does Yoseob know your here??”

Hearing his name again struck me in the chest. I just looked at Kikwang and shook my head.

Kikwang smiled brightly and began to jump up and down “Ah man we need to tell him!!”

“Oh no Kikwang I don't want to take him away from whatever he's doing if he’s busy” I tried to make a light excuse but Kikwang waved it off.

“Nah!! if its you nothing like that would matter!” He thought for a moment and lit up again “Wait here araso?!!” and he ran off without giving me a chance to speak.

“KIKWANG!!” he was now too far gone to hear me.

I immediately grew anxious and all the negative and worried thoughts I had in my head all came back. I was so afraid about what would happen if he saw me like this and I panicked. My feet worked before my mind could think things through and began running for the exit. I couldn't stop myself. My mind and body were not communicating with each other and before I knew it I was already out of the building waving down a taxi to leave.

Yoseob’s POV

Today it was only me and Kikwang working together. Everyone else was resting at home as me and Kikwang have been paired to do a lot of shows together. It was nice since we've gotten a lot closer and I don't feel as nervous when I do shows when I have a friend with me. I was changing back into my regular clothes since we were leaving soon when Kikwang came bursting through the door. All eyes were on him as he gasped for air. I looked at him weirdly. What made him run so much that he had lost his breath?

All the noona’s who were in the dressing room started to worry as they were really concerned for Kikwang’s breathing. I told them everything was fine with a light smile and went over to see what was wrong.

Kikwang walked closer to me. I chuckled “You okay there?” I pat his back

“She...here...her outside....go”

I didn't understand a word “Wha?”

Kikwang smacked his lips and took in a deep breath “She’s here!” he finally said

“Who?”

He gulped, grabbing a water bottle off the shelf and draining it down before answering me “Layla”

My face fell “Who?”

He smiled “She’s here! she’s outside right now!”

“Kikwang this better not be a joke”

“Why would I joke about this? come see for yourself”

My body went numb until Kikwang started to leave to where Layla was and I quickly followed after. We quickly walked down the hall making a few turns until he stopped in the middle of the floor. 

He frantically looked around “What the- she was just here!!” 

Me and Kikwang searched the area hopelessly looking for her but she was nowhere in sight. If she was really here I don't know what I’d say or do. My heart nearly fell out of my chest just having the thought of her being here. Seeing her in front of me. Wanting to hold her in my arms. I swear if she appeared in front of me right now I would drop to my knees as my body would finally be released of all the pain of missing her. She would be back here with me. But I haven't heard a word from her in so long even I get hallucinations when just hearing her name I search around to see if she was back. I have never stopped thinking about her. This was useless though. She’s not here.

Kikwang’s POV

She was just here. I told her to wait didn't I?

“Forget it Kikwang you probably saw someone else!”

“NO IT WAS HER!! I saw her clearly, she spoke to me and I even hugged her! she was here!”

“ENOUGH KIKWANG!!” his tone took me bye surprise. I stared at him blankly as he tried to maintain his composure “M-Mianhe I don't know what got over me.....I’m just gonna go back k” he smiled weakly and turned back to our room.

“Araso...”

I sighed and looked around once more before giving up. 

“Where the hell did she go?”

_______________________________________________________♥

and to send my apologies I had my baby seobie smile for you...gee arent I nice!! hehe

-aww dont be shy you know your cute!!

see...he knows it

there he goes teasing us again...*sigh* but I love him all the more

and God dont you wish you were....heh heh youu know ;P

byeee subbies!!! I'll try to see you again soon!! 

4th year in college and taking summer school... :P

oh yah I made another tumblr so if you guys wanna follow but you dont gotta fill free: http://beastbaybe.tumblr.com/