A/N: Contains dark angst. I wasn't very happy when I wrote this.

There are secrets and then there are secrets. Dark secrets. Seunghyun held several dark secrets, ones that even the younger members of Big Bang, his best friends; his brothers, of six years, had no insight of.

They told each other everything. All his maknaes held no fears, no lies and looked forward to the future without any regrets holding them down.

Seunghyun however, he dwelled in the past.

But he was a good actor. No, he is a good actor. He hid it all very well and they knew nothing but the bingu hyung or oppa, a blissful childish man backstage, and the enigmatic and fascinating idol on stage, Big Bang’s free stylistic rapper, T.O.P.

He tended to keep to himself. s would always mention that during interviews, “Hyung may be quiet up front, but backstage, he’s really silly.”

There was no doubt that Seunghyun loved his four younger brothers. He loved them to the ends of the Earth. Without Big Bang, he was nothing. He wouldn’t be able to breathe, or even live.

But sometimes, the heart wrenching secret he held, the darkness that had him tossing and turning at night, they were too overwhelming. And Big Bang nor 2NE1 could help him feel at ease. They wouldn’t understand.

There was always a reason why he disliked changing clothes in front of others. Showing skin seemed all too unusual for him. He just didn’t want anyone to see the scars.

He wasn’t very fond of the scars, and even after years of healing, there was still a light mark on his skin. He could never forget it, or how he got it. But it hurt, still stinging when he slept.

And then she walked into his life. The woman with eyes forming two perfect crescents whenever she smiled, and the laugh of  a melodic angel singing in the sunshine, her scent that was never too strong or weak, but a perfect whiff of after rain raspberry.

“Seunghyun-oppa.” She would always whisper his name every night, placing chaste kisses all along his jawline.

Her fingers trailed down his arm to find his trembling hands.

It was all so soothing. He buried his tear-stained face on the curve of her neck, squeezing her as if she was going to drift away in a second. He didn’t want to let her go. She was the only other thing on earth that kept him sane at night.

“Miyong.” He sighed softly, as he held her head, his fingers intertwining with her long black tresses.

She had been his light, his savior, his guardian angel. The connection he had with her was much different from the connection he had with Big Bang or even 2NE1. She actually understood his pain.

Their meetings had been in secret, once or twice a week. And then it turned to every other day, to every other night. She would stay by his side, in sickness and in health, as she sung lullabies.

She had been there when he broke down. She had slapped him in the face when he wanted to end everything. She stayed when he told her the truth, the darkest hidden truth that he vowed never to tell Big Bang.

“Why Miyong? I’m a monster, so why are you still here with me? Don’t you hate me because of—”

Tiffany pulled back to gaze upon his face, “Babo.” She repeated it many times after that,

 “Babo, babo, babo!” She kissed him like the world was ending as their fingers interlaced.  She even kissed his scars as he shuddered at her soft lips,

“It’s in the past now, oppa. You need to live for the future. Live for Big Bang and your fans. Live for me. Live the moment now. That’s all the matters right?”

Seunghyun took a deep, weary sigh and cracked a genuine smile, a smile that no one had ever seen before.

Tiffany was never wrong about anything and he loved her for that.

~owari~

A/N: The thought of TOP just breaking down and Tiffany being there for him is just too...cute, but heartwrenching at the same time. I'm sorry for making our TOP cry. ;______;

It makes me cry when TOP cries haha