I woke up to the sun beaming through my window and the sound of little birds chirping. I closed my eyes trying to recall something that was bearing down on my mind. When I opened them again I thought of Yoseob. I reached my hand over but I didn’t feel him next to me. I sat up quickly and looked around my room. (Of course he left…) I put my hand on my head and lay back down.  I looked at my calendar hanging on the wall and saw that the date was still April 30^th. My 18^th birthday was yesterday… A day that was supposed to be filled with happiness but by the end of the night turned into sadness… I rolled over in my bed feeling like crying again. I remembered Yoseob’s face, the bruises on his chest and side, the blood running from his lip, the hurt look he had in his eyes... Why did this happen to him? Why did it have to happen? All because some loser delinquent at our school was drunk? I clenched my fist thinking of Yong Junhyung now…If I see him he’s dead…

I saw my cell phone lying next to me. I picked it up and scrolled down to Yoseob’s name. Staring at it for a moment I pressed the call button and put the phone to my ear. It rung about 5 times before going to voice mail. [“Hi this is Yoseob; I can’t answer right now so leave me a message!”] His voice was so happy…but I knew he probably wasn’t anymore. I hung up the phone without leaving a message. I didn’t know what to say.  *Knock knock knock* I heard someone knocking on my door. “Come in” I said sort of groggily. The door opened and Taemin entered. He gave me a soft smile as I gave him one back. He noticed my calendar and switched it to the correct date before he sat down on my bed. “Noona…I heard what happen last night...” he said. He crossed his legs Indian style as he turned to look at me. “Umma told me...” he added. I just sighed a little and looked at the ceiling. “Is Yoseob alright?” he asked. I didn’t want him to feel like I was ignoring him so I finally responded with... “I’m not sure…” Taemin just looked at me. “He told me that he was okay…but I know he was just saying that to keep me from worrying…or feeling bad about what happened” I added. Taemin laid down a little resting his head on his hand. “I can’t believe that Junhyung guy” he said a little disgusted, there was also a bit of anger in my little brother’s voice. “I hope he gets what’s coming to him soon” Taemin said. I sat up a little as well. “Yeah I hope so too…” I said. (Hope so….I kind of know so since I’ll be the one to deal with him….)

“Have you tried calling Yoseob this morning?” Taemin asked. “Yeah I called but he didn’t pick up” I sighed. “Hmm…maybe we should go to his house” Taemin said sitting all the way up. He gave me a slight smile. “Yeah we should” I said.

“Kids breakfast!” Lee umma shouted from down stairs. Taemin and I got up and left my room…

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“Noona are we lost” Taemin sighed as he followed closely behind me. “Um I don’t think so” I said peeking around a corner. I saw a few houses along the block. “Hmm he should live around here; I mean Manchan’s is just a few minutes from his house too…” I mumbled to myself. We started to look at the mailboxes. “Found it” Taemin said stopping. I turned around and stopped walking. “Yang residence” Taemin said as he pointed to the house in front of us. We both slowly approached the door step. “Taemin ring the door bell” I said. He nodded and did as he was told. The bell rung once and we waited for someone to answer. After a couple of minutes a woman looking almost identical to Yoseob answered the door. “Annyonghaseyo” Taemin and I both bowed. “You must be Jae” Mrs. Yang smiled. “Ne” I smiled a little. “This is my (host) brother Taemin” I said grabbing onto Taemin’s sleeve, he bowed once more. “Come in you two” she said as she opened the door all the way to let us in. “Ne, Kamsamnida” I said as I entered the home. Taemin and I took our shoes off at the door and neatly put them against the wall. “Have you met her before? She already knew you’re name” Taemin said with a whisper. “Taemin ah so far I’m the only black girl in Seoul named Jae I’m sure if Yoseob told her about me that should would recognize me right away-__-” I whispered back. “I just made rice cakes would you two like any?” Mrs. Yang asked. I was going to say “No thank you” but before I could reply Taemin said “Yes, please” We followed her into the kitchen and sat down at the table. She put a plate of hot rice cakes in front of us. “Here you go” she smiled. “Kamsamnida” I said. Taemin dug in while I sat there. “I’ll go get Yoseob for you” she said. “Mrs. Yang” I called out before she left the kitchen. “Hmm?” “Mianhamnida” I said. I was apologizing for what happened last night….

“No need to apologize dear…what happened was not your fault” she said. “Hajiman-” I started to say but Yoseob walking into the kitchen cutting me off. “Jae….Taemin?” he said. His mother looked at me. “It’s alright” she smiled before leaving the three of us alone. We were silent for a minute, then Yoseob sat down. His face looked a little better than it did last night….he smiled at me. (Why does he keep smiling after what happened..?) I didn’t understand that… “How are you?” I asked. “I’m fine” he said grabbing a rice cake and taking a bite. “I’m glad you’re doing well” Taemin said. I looked at him then back to Yoseob. (Is he really doing well…?) Taemin stood up. “May I ask where your bathroom is?” he smiled. “Ne, make a right then it’s the first door to your left” Yoseob said. Taemin nodded and left the kitchen. I knew he really wasn’t going to use the bathroom. He wanted to give us time to talk….

“Yoseob I’ll be at the shop” his mother said peeking in. “Ne, I’ll be there later” he said. “Nice to meet you Jae” Mrs. Yang smiled before leaving. “Nice to meet you too” I stood up quickly and bowed to her. She nodded and took leave. I sat back down and turned to Yoseob. “You seem to be healing up well” I said. Yoseob just nodded. I stared at him. “Thank you taking care of me” he smiled. “What time did you leave last night?” I asked. “Right after you fell asleep…” he responded. I thought back to last next where we lay next to each other, watching each other closely. That awkward feeling that I was supposed to have then started to creep up on me now. I turned my head away from him for a sec. “I might not go to school tomorrow” Yoseob said interrupting my embarrassed thoughts. “My mom said I should probably take tomorrow off…” he added. That was understandable. “I’m not sure if I want to deal with people tomorrow…” I said tracing my fingers along the edge of the table. “You know you shouldn’t be mad at Dujun…right?” Yoseob said. My eyes shifted to him quickly. Hearing his name made me a little mad. “Why shouldn’t I?” I asked a little annoyed. “He had nothing to do with…what happened last night…so you shouldn’t take your anger out on him” he explained. I knew he was right, but I still couldn’t help the way I was feeling...Dujun and Junhyung are friends….

Yoseob’s POV

I looked at Jae who looked away from me once I spoke the name Dujun. I can tell she was getting annoyed. But she shouldn’t be mad at someone who had nothing to do with what happened to me. I remembered Dujun’s face last night. He had the same expression of shock and worry that Jae did.  Jae stood up. “Well I think we should be going now” she said trying her best to smile. “Okay” I nodded and got up as well. I walked her to the door. Taemin was already there and waiting. (I thought he had to go to the bathroom?) “I’m glad you’re okay, see you around hyung” Taemin smiled. “Ne see you later” I said he started to walk down the walkway. Jae turned to me. “Well see you later” she said.  I nodded and watched her walk away with Taemin. She waved one last time before disappearing around the corner.

I shut the door behind me and headed upstairs to my room. I grabbed my headphones off the dresser and put them on. Turning on my iPod I flopped down on my bed and laid back. I was a liar…

I lied to my friend when I told her that I left right after she went to sleep. I didn’t leave her right away. I lay next to her while she slept, finding myself putting strands of her hair behind her ear, finding myself moving closer to her. Wanting to do more…but I couldn’t... we were just friends. And that’s all we should be. At least that’s what I keep telling myself anyway….

I sighed putting my hand over my eyes as I listened to Jung Yup’s “Nothing Better”

What’s wrong with me….?

  To be continued.....