Chapter 46: Grip

“So, you think this project that Jay proposed is a good idea?” I inquire, leaning back in my chair and taking a sip of water.

He shrugs, flexing his jaw in thought. “I mean, I don’t think it’s a bad idea. If all goes well, it’d create a huge profit increase for us. But if the deal falls through, then we could also lose a lot.”

I nod, screwing the cap back onto my water bottle. “Have you told Michelle about the trip to Europe yet?”

He nods and sighs. “Yup, I did.”

“And? What’d she say?” I ask, putting my arms on my desk.

“Actually…she didn’t say much. Just the usual, you know, where are you going, why are you going, how long. She’s used to me going away now.” He shrugs. “Have you told Tiffany?”

I sigh. “Yeah. She wasn’t very happy. I’m actually considering not going now.”

He perks up in his seat, leans forward, looking at me. “What? Taeyeon, you have to go. You’re the King and head of the company now. There’s no pulling out. They’re not even going to consider going through with our proposition if you’re not there.”

“Donghae, I know.” My head begins to throb. “But, you should’ve seen her face when I told her. She was devastated and, truthfully, I really don’t want to go.”

He exhales and sits back in his seat, a nice and thoughtful silence settles between us. I think about Tiffany. She had actually left for the office before I did, so I hadn’t seen her since last night. She hadn’t spoken much about my going to Europe in a few days. I suppose she didn’t want to think about it.

“It does get easier, Taeyeon.” Donghae says, after a while, his voice more gentle this time. “Michelle and I used to be like you guys. Never wanting to be apart and missing each other like crazy. But you guys are just going to have to get used to it. You’re going to have to go away even more than I have to. You guys bear more responsibility than anyone else.”

The reality of it all was settling underneath my skin in a bleak form of dread. Things would never go back to the way they were before, at least not for a very long time. I guess we’d just have to embrace it all and accept it for what it was.

“I know.” I say, staring down at the papers on my desk, the feeling of missing Tiffany becoming more urgent.

Hwang Corporation’s Korean base was in the center of Seoul. It consisted of four buildings, built on a campus that was heavily guarded. Michelle, Donghae – and now Tiffany and I – all had our own assigned building, each one dealing with slightly different matters.

Tiffany was probably still in her building right now and despite the fact that Tiffany’s father had said that we shouldn’t spend time together at the office, because it was distracting and prevented more work from being done, I was going to go see her. Like, right now.

I stood, picking up my blazer from the back of my office chair and putting it on.

“Going somewhere?” Donghae asks.

I nod. “Yup. I’m going to go see Tiffany, like right now.” I walk over to my office door and pull it open.

“But, Taeyeon, we still have all these figures to get through.” He says, gesturing to the mass of paperwork on my desk.

I sigh. “Make a start on it, and I’ll be back within the hour to help. I just really want see Tiffany.”

He sighs and waves me off. “Whatever. But don’t be too long.”

I smile. “Thanks Donghae. You’re the best.”

I make my way down from the top floor to the bottom. Several people bow towards me along the way, and then it occurs to me that I was top of the chain. I was one of the most respected and high up people in the country. It boggled my mind slightly.

I walk across the heavily guarded campus, and into Tiffany’s building. The staff members seemed surprised to see me, probably because I wasn’t supposed to be there, but I smile at them and return their bows as I quickly make my way up to the top floor, where Tiffany’s office is located.

I stop in front of her door. The guards outside her office bow towards me in respect, to which I return, before quickly checking my hair in the reflection of my phone screen and straightening up my blazer and tie before entering. I push open the door and peek my head inside. I was expecting her to be at her desk, looking through some papers or something, but instead she was bending over in front of her filing cabinet, retrieving files from the bottom drawer - giving me a rather irresistible view of her behind.

I smile and enter, closing the door behind me. She stands up and turns around when she hears the door click shut, papers in hand, surprise in her eyes when she sees me.

“Taeyeon? What are you doing here?”

I say nothing and walk further in. She looks at me curiously as I make my around and trap her in between her desk and my body, my arms either side of her. She looks up at me and smiles, tilting her head to the side.

“Taeyeon…” Her voice is soft, her eyes sparkling in the daylight from outside, and just as simple as that, I press my lips against hers.

Her hands travel up my arms, along my shoulders and her fingers finally hook themselves around the back of my neck. I press her more into the desk as she catches my bottom lip between her teeth, I could feel her smiling. She hums in approval as I initiate the kiss to deepen. We kiss for a while.

Slowly, reluctantly we both pull away. She looks at me flustered, a satisfied smile on her lips.

“Wow.” I chuckle at her response. “What was that for?”

I shrug, trying to hide the grin on my face. “I just missed you.” I press her a little more into the side of her desk, she grins back.

“You know you’re not supposed to be here, right?” She asks.

I shrug once more. “That’s what your father said, but to be honest, I don’t really care.”

“What’s this?” Tiffany says, amused, looping a strand of my hair around her finger. “Kim Taeyeon being rebellious for once in her life?”

I frown. “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? I’m very rebellious.”

“Oh really?” Tiffany says, skeptically. “Sure, Taeyeon, sure.”

“I think you seem to forget that I flipped Siwon over, punched him in the face and knocked him out, and not to forget the most recent, when I busted his lip with a blow to the face.”

“Taeyeon, that’s not rebellious. That’s you being violent.”

My frown deepens. “Well…I jumped in front of a bullet for you.”

Her smile widens. “I know, and I won’t ever forget it.” She plants a simple kiss on my lips lingeringly before pulling away. “Now…” She sighs, glancing over at the papers on her desk. “I have work to do.”

She pushes me away gently by the shoulders, causing me to take a step back. She goes to her filing cabinet, pulls open the top drawer and begins searching. I watch her for a moment before leaning my arm up on the cabinet.

“Have you had a break yet?” I ask, biting down on my lip as she flips through a file.

“I have, actually.” She says. “I just took a break.”

I frown a little. “Well…when’s your next break?”

She looks at me, sighs when she sees my expression. “Taeyeon, I really have a lot to do before the presentation this afternoon, and I intend to get it done.”

“I know, and you will.” I say, walking around her and sitting in her swivel chair. “But can’t we spend a little time together? I can even help you.”

She closes the filing cabinet drawer and turns to look at me. She looks exceedingly good in her office attire, and I can’t help but glide my eyes up and down her body a few times. Finally, I meet her eyes.

“But, I can’t concentrate when you’re around.”

I frown, a small pout on my lips and I lower my eyes to the ground, feeling slightly hurt at her rejection.

She sighs, and drops the file on the desk, comes closer and catches me off-guard by plopping herself down on my lap. She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses my cheek gently. “Fine. You can stay.”

A grin spreads across my face as she turns towards the desk, her back now facing me, and begins to sort through a few papers.

I lace my arms around her waist, move my body a little closer and lean my head against her upper arm. I look up at the side of her face, her expression concentrated and her focus elsewhere.

I look over the papers that she was sorting through, one in particular catching my eye.

“Are these Jay’s profit estimates?” I ask, looking at the sheets more closely now.

Tiffany glances over. “Uhm, yeah.”

I frown, scrunching my brows together. “Hmm…they’re optimistic to say the least.”

Tiffany puts the file she was looking at down. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. But I wasn’t sure if it was just me.”

I hadn’t been in the company very long at all, but even a rookie could see that these numbers were slightly off. I skim through the rest of Jay’s proposal, seeking out more odd figures and details.

“Taeyeon?”

“Hmm?” I direct my gaze up at Tiffany, who was now frowning.

“Do you think that Jay’s proposal is a good idea?” She asks.

I sigh. “Well…I don’t know. Despite his figures and estimates being slightly off, the rest of it seems okay, I guess. If everything goes well, it’ll make the company a lot of money, but if doesn’t go all that great, then we could also lose a lot of money, too.”

She nods, looking down at her lap, sadness in her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, concerned.

She sighs, shifts her position so she could face me properly while still sitting on my lap. She places her hands on my shoulders, and looks at me for a moment, her fingers soon combing through my hair. She shrugs, sighs for what seems like the millionth time, and puts her arms around me, leaning her face into the crook of my neck. “I guess I’m just really going to miss you.”

My grip tightens around her, and she is pressed against me, the solidity of her body making me feel secure. “I’m going to miss you, too, you know.”

“I know.” She says softly, and I breathe out, relaxing against her.

I listen to the sound of distant cars, I listen to the sound of the ticking clock on the wall, and I listen to Tiffany’s deep breathing, willing the next few weeks to go as fast as possible, just so she wouldn’t have to worry anymore.

Her body becomes less tense. “Your mother and Hayeon arrived last night.” She says.

“I know,” I move my hand down her back a little. “I saw them this morning, before I left.”  And then it’s quiet, her breath on the side of my neck and my arms around her. We stay like that for an amount of time that I wasn’t counting.

“Fany-ah?”

“Hmm?”

“How come you left so early today?”

She pulls away, sits back a little and looks into my eyes. She sighs, lowers her gaze and gives a small shrug. “I think that I’ve become so…” Her index finger draws a repeated pattern of circles on the side of my neck. I watch her lips as they move. “…So…dependent on you, especially recently. I guess I just needed something to take my mind off of you leaving.” She lifts her head, glances into my eyes briefly before running her fingers through my hair again. She isn’t looking at me, but I can’t help but just stare at her in awe, in wonder, because I knew Tiffany so well and I loved her so much, and I wanted to do anything, everything to make her happy. “I have no idea what I’m going to do without you, Kim Taeyeon.” She says, softly.

Her eyes, a fragile brown. I brush some stray strands of hair behind her ear, examining her expression carefully.

“Everything is going to be okay. I promise.” I slide my fingers through hers, pressing our palms together.  “You’re going to be fine. I’m going to be fine. We’re going to be fine. Okay?”

I hear a few, fresh drops of newborn rain splash against the glass of the windows, becoming more frequent before it quickly forms into a consistent rhythm.

She exhales through her nose, coming closer and embracing me, her heartbeat against mine. “Okay.”

We embrace each other silently, the rain falling behind us. A strange air of sadness settles around us, and I think that maybe this is the reality of things slowly setting in, that maybe this is us finally coming to terms with it all.

I breathe her in slowly, my arms tight around her. I let my eyes wander around her office, and I realize that this was my first time in here with just her. It’s large, bare, not much like Tiffany at all. I look at the papers scattered around her desk, and I notice a smartphone on the other side. It didn’t belong to me, and I was certain that it wasn’t Tiffany’s, and that’s when I notice a suit jacket draped over the chair on the opposite side of the desk.

I frown in confusion. “Who’s here?”

“What?” She pulls away, examines my expression for