Chapter 32: Raindrops

The rain poured outside as the claps of thunder rumbled through the room. The lightning sent flashes across the dark and gloomy sky, matching my mood perfectly.

I had always liked the rain. When I was a kid, I used stand out in the pouring rain and cry, just so no one would realise what I was doing. My mother would always know though. She knew me best. No matter how much wrong I had done she would always put it behind her.

 I remember how I used to stand with my back facing her as she dried my dripping wet hair. “You know, Tiffany, tears don’t solve anything, but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to show people that you’re sad.” I remember how she turned me around and wrapped a towel around my small frame and pulled me into a hug. “Next time you feel sad, just think of me and pretend that I’m there with you.”

I smiled slightly as her words echoed through my head.

Even when I got older and used to disappear and go out clubbing and drinking, she would tell me off, but the conversation would always end with me in her embrace as her motherly scent surrounded me. An instant feel of comfort and forgiveness would always engulf my body.

The times when I failed and gave up, she would always tell me how proud she was of me. Always knowing how to make me stop crying and make me smile, helping me understand the world that surrounded me better, and showing me that beauty can be found in everything and everyone.

She always had the answers to my questions, no matter how difficult they were and she gave me the honest truth.

I let a tear roll down my cheek, wetting Taeyeon’s shirt as she held me in her arms, the sound of the rain drumming against the window filling up the room.

“Facial expressions are the things that represent what you’re feeling inside. Well, that’s what people think. But you can change the expression on your face and hide what you’re actually feeling. Your eyes though, they are the window to your soul. No matter how wide their smile is or how fine they might look, you can always tell from their eyes.” That’s another thing my mother taught me. I was young at that time, so I didn’t really understand what she meant, but as I look back it, it made perfect sense.

But what is the point of tears? Why do they even appear in a moment of sadness? They don’t solve anything, they just make things worse. But tears are the most important form of human emotion. They come from your eyes, they come from your soul as they trickle down your face. Literal drops of human emotion, captured in a form of water, giving it a shape and substance. But they never last, always evaporating away into nothing.

“I promise, Fany-ah, no matter how far away I am, I’ll always come running whenever you need me.” The second tear rolled down my cheek followed by a third and fourth, turning into endless amounts.

Taeyeon pulled me closer as she my hair, hushing me in a calming tone. It had been this way since my mother passed last week. We hadn’t actually had a proper conversation at all, but we spoke through actions instead.

I honestly didn’t care if she really cheated on me. She was here with me now and that’s all that matters. She had held my hand through the whole funeral ceremony today, which had been broadcasted all over the world.

“Taeyeon…?” I said her name out loud for the first time in a week. I sniffled slightly, wiping the tears from my eyes.

“When your Father passed...” I drifted off a little, thinking of a way to ask the question. “...how did you.... cope with it?”

She didn’t say anything. She used her free arm to rub her face as she thought. She had told me that she was very close to him. Even when she spoke about him, you could see the fond memories they had had together flash across her onyx eyes.

“Well…” She started, “At first, I was angry. I didn’t understand why he had been taken away from us, why he had to go in the first place...” That’s exactly how I felt right now, I didn’t understand at all. “But as I got a bit older, I realised that everything happens for a reason and that I became a stronger person after he passed. Like the reason I was picked to become Prince, was so that I could fall in love and spend the rest of my life with you.”

Her words made me smile slightly. I missed this.

“Does the pain ever go away?” I asked as I looked up at her.

She paused to think again. “Well... yes, it does. But if my Father really is gone, then why do I feel him around me all the time? Always looking over my shoulder and guiding me in the right direction. It’s the same with you. Your Mother is here. Just not physically.”

I nodded, taking in everything she just said, letting my brain absorb it like a sponge.

“When you think about it though, my Father was in pain before he died, so when he passed