Chapter 36: Sisters

“And the winner is!”

The crowd hushed to a silence, a heavy quietness fell throughout the large hall. Everyone was literally on the edge of their seats waiting for the result. It had been a fierce battle between the competitors; all of them obtaining a high level of skill at such a young age. It was truly fascinating to witness, even if you weren’t a piano fanatic or parent.

I remember so clearly as I stood on that stage, my sister by my side, my heart thudding against my ribcage, my breathing fast and irregular, my eyes dry as I scanned the crowd, their faces like chiseled tombstones, hard and unchanging, their breaths held in their lungs as they awaited in anticipation for the result.

I had a good chance of winning. I had practiced for hours on end. Just sitting there and playing until I had hit every note perfectly, until it sounded absolutely flawless like flowing water in a calm stream. And I knew I had impressed not only the judges but the crowd as well.

“Princess Michelle!”

Everyone seemed to erupt into cheers like a dormant volcano that had just spontaneously combusted into burning hot lava.

It took a minute for my brain to process what the announcer had just said. I didn’t win; I came in second place after Michelle…again. Even after all that effort I put in, all that practicing, it still wasn’t good enough. She was better, she always would be.

I looked up at the man as he placed a blue ribbon in my hand, giving me a warm smile as he patted my head in a brotherly manner.

“Well done.” He smiled. I just nodded slowly as I stared up at him, my eyes felt distant and far away. “You did great. A little more practicing and you could be as good as your big sister over there.” He said, nodding his head over his shoulder, where I saw my father pick up Michelle and placed her to sit on his shoulder, a huge grin spread across his face.

“Michelle! You did so great!” My father raved as we sat in the limousine, on the way back to the palace. My father had been going on and on about Michelle’s amazing first place, and yet he had failed to even notice my second place ribbon.

I sat with my head down as I fiddled with the ribbon in my fingers, maybe then he would notice it.

“Thanks, Appa!” I heard Michelle’s voice, making me look up just in time to see her hugging him around the neck.

He pulled away and smiled at her adoringly. “You’ll be a fine ruler when you’re older.”

The car stopped and I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes.  I quickly jumped out, running away before anyone could see my falling tears. It wasn’t raining today, so I had nowhere to hide except from my room.

Why was I always second best to her? Why couldn’t my father see my potential as well?

No matter how hard I tried, or how good I was at something, she was always ten times better. She was always smarter, more polite, prettier and likable. She was always gaining my father’s love and attention, leaving me at the sidelines to just watch.

While she got praised on how amazing she was I was always the one who was getting scolded for doing things that weren’t ‘that of a young princess’, especially by my father.

When I got mud on my knees, or dirtied my clothes, I was always told that I was wrong, even if it was an accident.

I ran into my bedroom, my small eight-year-old hands covering my face as my tears flooded out of my eyes. I slammed the door shut, making the sound echo through my large room.

I sat on the edge of my bed, my sobs filling up the empty space, as my palms caught my tears before gravity could drag them down and make them splash onto the ground beneath my small feet.

It hadn’t been the first time my father had failed to acknowledge my achievements, but even though looking back at it now, it may seem silly to be getting so upset over something like that, but I was only eight and I was still too young to really be able to comprehend why he didn’t really pay much attention to me.

My small eight-year-old brain could not grasp why a father would make favorites.

It was unfair.

“Why were you crying earlier?” My mother asked. I was standing in front of her as she dried my hair.

How did she know I had been crying?

I hung my head low. I didn’t reply nor did I want to because I could feel my tears building up in my eyes again.

She turned me around, lifting my chin gently with her index finger. I looked into her warm brown eyes, my cheeks wet.

She wiped my tears away with her thumb in a caring manner before pulling me into a tight hug. She rubbed my back soothingly as I wrapped my arms around her neck, sobbing into her shoulder helplessly.

I let out all of my frustrations through my tears. Why was Michelle always so much better than me at everything?

“Shhh…Fany-ah, it’s okay.” My mother hummed as her palm made circular motions on my back. “Please tell me what’s wrong.” She whispered in a pleading tone, her chin rested on my shoulder as my face was dug into the crook of her neck.

Deep breaths, in and out, inhale and exhale. Calm myself. With a few more deep and controlled breaths I could now speak. I pulled away, my eyes still glued to the floor.

My mother wiped away a few tears that were hanging off of my eyelashes. “No more tears now.” She said softly. “Are you upset that Michelle won and you didn’t?” She asked.

I finally looked up to meet her concerned eyes and nodded slowly with a frown on my lips.