Sungjae's POV.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bH1EeSaOAY (This is basically Sungjae's song for what he's feeling right now so feel free to listen to it while you're reading, if you want. ^^)

I left her there, hopeless just there on the floor, crying her eyes out. I'm a horrible person. I should have never bought up breaking up. I just, thought it's what was best & she would see that. Lately, I've been a bad boyfriend. I haven't even bothered contacting her. Why? Because I'm afraid to hurt her. Now that I've debuted, I'm busy. Sure I may have spare time here & there. But, it's not the same. I can't give her my full attention which is what a girlfriend needs. A girlfriend needs there boyfriend to be there for them when she needs him. I won't always be able to be there for her & it kills me. I can't be a regular boyfriend to her. She deserves nothing but the best.

I'm scared, scared to hurt her. I regret asking her to be my girlfriend, because all I'm doing now is hurting her. I can't continue this relationship  because she's going to be unhappy, waiting for me. She really likes me & I really like her. I love the fact that she's willing to wait, but she's unhappy. All I want for her is to be in a happy relationship. She deserves a guy that's going to be there for her, to love her, to be able to see her whenever he wants to.. I can't be that guy.

So I don't want to get any closer to her, which is why I haven't been contacting her. I say I'm busy but I'm just avoiding her. Avoiding her because I don't want her to fall any deeper. If she does, there's not going back. She's going to be to attached to let go when she needs to. She needs to see that I can't be the perfect boyfriend no matter how much she sees that I am. I know I'm hurting her by doing this, but I see it as a way of hurting her less. If I distance myself & act like this, she'll start losing feelings for me. & she'll see that I don't deserve her, that she deserves better. Then, she'll break up with me & happily move on to find a guy that can give her his full attention & care for her, love her, & be the best boyfriend he can to her. Because that's what she needs, a real boyfriend. Not some guy who will see her once a week then leave only to see her for an hour the next week. No, she doesn't deserve this. 

I wish I had met her way before I was set to debut. She would've been the one. She's an amazing girl, the best girl I've ever been with. It kills me to know that this couldn't work out. She's hurting because of me, her "boyfriend." This needs to end, & soon before it gets worse. Mianhae KyuRi-ah...

Hey everyone~ ^^ So I thought it'd be cool to write this chapter in Sungjae's POV. It's alright, could be way better but I tried! I wrote it while listening to Jang Dong Gun's "More Than Me." which is the song I linked up there ^^ it's an amazing song & is perfect for the way Sungjae feels right now!