The next day is a tiring day for Won Bin. He cuts school, not letting his parents know, and the whole morning, he spends it at the University, and as for all his sacrifices, the outcome he gets is more than just appealing, the two bands get the university auditorium to perform tonight to raise funds for a poor sick boy’s surgery.

Won Bin being busy all day long, as it happens, he doesn’t get a glimpse of Lee Joone, which actually disappoints me. It’s as though it’s an instincts; he can’t live through a day without not seeing her even once for a day, and not seeing her today really is bothering him, although he knows she will be there tonight. She’s probably with her brother now, which is actually a relief for him; at least she’s with somebody. 

The concert tonight will be a combination of the two bands, FT FOUR and the TREASURE, the two bands will be performing together, the audience will be, of course, the university students. And for their surprise, half of the students’ body are thrilled to see two high school bands performing, the boys actually expected them to start something completely against them, and the tickets were sold within only two hours! Won Bin and Jong Hun are still settling things out for it with the help of Hong Gi and his crazy cousin Seung Hyun, who’s more like, keeping them  in company rather than merely helping them, but they even need it, it’s not easy for them to pull out a concert in just one day!

 

Meanwhile, Jae Jin, Minhwan and Ha Ra are engrossed in a deep conversation in the Treasure Island, and what exactly they’re discussing about is Lee Joone.

Minhwan is surprised to hear that the first time she kissed has been with Won Bin on the stage.

“Jinja?” He asks, widening his eyes. “There’s a lot that we don’t know about noona!”

“Does Hyung know?” Jae Jin asks with the same interest. Ha Ra nods. “Won Bin? Yes, She told me that she told him.”

Minhwan’s eyes widens even more. “So what has he said?”

“He has told her that he had his first when he was twelve!”

Jae Jin laughs. “He said that? Wow! He practically kills us whenever we mention that! It’s Yoo Bin noona who told us!”

Ha Ra sits straight in the sofa next to Minhwan, and asks. “Won Bin has a girlfriend right?”

Jae Jin nods. “Yeah…but nobody likes her…even he doesn’t…”

“Really?” Ha Ra asks, finding it interesting. “Why doesn’t he?”

“They’re arranged by parents, that’s why…he’s doing it just because he has no other option” Jae Jin explains.  Ha Ra flinches. “That must be really hard…he shouldn’t find himself a real girl friend, you know…or he’d never forgive himself”

Jae Jin gives them a weird smile, making Minhwan give him an uncertain look.

Ha Ra gasps. “Don’t tell me he has a girlfriend!”

Jae Jin laughs. “No you silly!” He clears his throat. “Remember I said it’s just because that I suggested not speaking to her?”

Minhwan nods, but Ha Ra has no idea what it’s all about, she decides to not to question but simply listens.

“It’s not just because…” Jae Jin says and smiles widely. “It’s because I sensed something…I think Hyung is in love…”

Both Ha Ra and Minhwan stare at him in disbelief. “With...Lee Joone?”

Jae Jin nods. “With Lee Joone noona…I’ve noticed it a few times by the way he looks at her…I have known him for so long, and I have never seen him looking that way around Hyun-a, his girlfriend, but Lee Joone noona, I think he likes her…”

“I knew this would happen!” Ha Ra exclaims with genuine happiness  and looks at the two boys urgently. “But Lee Joone doesn’t like to date magnaes…isn’t Won Bin younger to her?”

Minhwan widens his eyes. “Jinja? Never even knew!”

Ha Ra gives them a look. “You guys didn’t even know that her birthday is actually on tomorrow?”

“Jinja? Whoa! She’s exactly one month older than Won bin hyung!” Jae Jin exclaims happily. “But we have to do something, we have to apologize her even!”

“Ara~” Ha Ra says, it surprises her when Jae Jin suddenly exclaims. “Why don’t we give her a party? You know, she’s happy with any small thing we do…”

“Wow! That’s great! I’ve been missing parties for a while…”

But they never even get to plan anything because it’s not long before Jong Hun calls them. “Yah, aren’t you coming already??”

Jae Jin slaps his hand on his forehead. “Aish! Noona! It’s two a clock already!”

Ha Ra shakes her. She can’t figure out just how Lee Joone supervise all four of those crazy nuts!

 

By the end of the day of heavy work, Won Bin is practically dead, and the strength he has left is all for Lee Joone, if not for her, he will never have put this much of effort into anything. When he feels like all are done, he sits on an edge of the stage and sigh. If this works really well tonight, he will keep the last segment for himself. And tonight, he will do it, he will let her know his feelings, at least enough of it for her to know, he can’t take it anymore now. His love for her has now reached to a , he will pull her into his hands and kiss her passionately any time now, and before anything could ever happen, he has to keep her ready. He knows she will hate him after this, he knows she might not even want to see him after this, but he fears himself that one little movement of him will simply reveal everything, just like it nearly did last night, and his confessions, he doesn’t want it to be an awkward moment. This will be him confessing for the first time in his life, he wants it to be perfect, a memory that he can cherish throughout his life.

The stage is perfectly set for the performance tonight, and since they didn’t have much time, the stage settings are not much but good enough for a mini concert as they have planned it to be. They have already informed FnC about it, Jong hun and Hong Gi did, this morning, and so they’re not allowed to use BOTB under any circumstances, if so, they will be disqualified. But Won Bin knows more than enough that he or everybody else has no intention, whatsoever to promote themselves as BOTB competitors. All they need is money to give out a helping hand to their ever loved Lee Joone.

It’s a moment later that he sees her, and his heart starts doing somersaults, seeing her this so happy makes him happier than ever before. She’s in a sweet grey dress, all of the members of the treasure planned to wear grey, including the two girls (ha Ra is practically a part of them now) and as soon as she sees him sitting in a lonely corner all by himself, she smiles even wider and comes rushing towards him.

“Frowny! You’re here already?” she asks breathlessly and pushes her long strands of hair off her face. And the more she does it, the prettier she looks…

“I was here all day long…where are the others?” He asks, trying to sound more urgent. She shakes her head. “I’m sorry…couldn’t contact them…”

Won Bin shakes his head. “Jong hun did…I thought you were with them…anyway, how’s your oppa?”

This makes her smile wider. “He’s doing great! He can speak a little now, and we talked about so many things…now only I know how much I have missed him…”

 

He nods. But deep inside he’s happier than ever before. He has finally done it, he has helped her to save her brother, and once in his whole life, he has actually made someone happy, and what makes it better is that the person that he has made happy is the very girl he’s in love with.

He looks up and opens his mouth to say something but forgets it immediately seeing her hair.

“Lee Joone, is that…that hair clip?” He asks, surprised. She actually believes it that she’s ugly?

She makes a brief laughter and touches her hair. “Why? You said I’ve become ugly, I really can’t be looking ugly tonight!”

He nods again. “But still no difference…”

She shrugs. “Anyway, how are the work going here? The stage settings are pretty cool, like it!”

“Jong Hun and Hong Gi are still settling things back stage. I’m tired so I came out.”

She nods and smiles. “So…is your girl coming?”

He makes a slight smile, it occurring to him that she’s already there before him. “I think she’d be here…half of the girls from our school are coming…”

“Really?” She asks looking happy as ever. “Then they all must be drooling over you!”

He says nothing. He knows that half of the school girls are, but the very person who should be drooling over him is apparently drooling over another.

“Will you be singing Soyogi tonight?” She asks.

“Probably…” He replies shortly.

“Fabulous! Then you must confess today!”

He nods again. “I was thinking of the same...”

“Ah! Lovely! I will be giving my fullest support! You should do it on the stage!” She looks up dreamily which makes her look even adorable. “Wouldn’t it be romantic? And the spotlight will be on you! You call her up on stage…you say you love her…then you kiss her….and everything will be perfect…”

He raises his eyebrows. She surely has an interesting imagination…but then again, he can try that since she seems to like it so much…

“…then the guys will be playing something behind you guys, and I will be cheering you from here with Hong gi…”

And that’s when he interrupts her. Hong Gi turns out from nowhere greeting her warmly. “Hey! Joonie! After a long time!”

Lee Joone stops on her imagining and turns to Hong Gi with a wide smile. Won Bin sighs. Before she turned up, he was working very well along with Hong Gi, but right now, he wants to er punch him until he’s considerably satisfied. It was him who met her first, shouldn’t it be him who should be receiving that very warm welcome from her?

She moves over to Hong Gi and throws her hands around him. “We saved my oppa Hong gi-ah!” She chimes, tightly being draped over him. Won  Bin smirks. Now that he’s seeing them, this is the cheesiest sight that he has ever seen. What a pathetic couple that they make.

“I heard…and I’m really proud of you Joonie, You’re one of a kind…” Hong Gi says, and Won Bin can’t help the urge to laugh. When it comes to girls, Hong Gi is so corny and cheesy. What does she see in him anyway? He’s just plain and stupid.

This is crazy. Won Bin thinks, slightly shaking his head. If he remain here, watching them outrageously flirting before him, he’s sure he’d puke and die.

He hops off the stage onto the ground and proceeds to walk out, but the familiar voice which comes from a far corner of the hall stops him. Relief sweeps through him seeing Minhwan, Ha Ra and Jae Jin rushing towards him with a whole lot of bulgy bags hanging from either of their hands.

“Hyung! Are we late??” Jae Jin asks as he walks towards them. He nods. “Jong Hun hyung is waiting for you, we have to practice.”

Jae Jin looks around hurriedly. “Where’s Joonie noona?”

“There!” Minhwan points out at Lee Joone who is still flirting with Hong Gi, oblivious of their arrival.

“Shouldn’t we be apologizing?” Minhwan asks. Ha Ra shakes her head, seeing her laughing at something that Hong Gi has said. “I don’t think so…better later on…”

Won bin nods. “yeah, later, now Practice, Kaja”

 

The concert is to begin at six, leaving them enough time for some practice. Won Bin finds it interesting and also entertaining to work together with FT FOUR since except for Hong gi, all are magnaes with completely different personalities. The two supervisors were of great help, it’s Lee Joone who keeps on coming up with good ideas which Soo young noona, the supervisor of FT FOUR reconsiders and agrees on. The practices goes on with laughter and occasional fights, and in the end, the performance for the concert is perfected with the contribution of every single member of the two bands. Won Bin enjoyed it, mostly watching Lee Joone laughing histerically whenever Seung Hyun and Jae Jin do something crazy. It’s the first time he’s seeing her so happy. After all, all the sacrifices he went through the night before has been just worth it.

Two hours passes by without even their awareness, and when his sister arrives with news of the students being outside the hall, enthusiastically waiting. Its Lee Joone who immediately gets into action as always.

“Okay, pirates, and er…what do you call yourselves Hong Gi?”

Hong Gi makes her a face. “Terminators?”

Soo Young claps her hands. “We have to be hard on them right now Joonie” she says and turns to the guys. “Back stage everybody!! Move! MOVE!!”

“No wait!” Lee Joone calls out as the guys start filing in. “Won Bin and Hong Gi should come with me to do the welcoming”

And so Won Bin finds himself next to Lee Joone with Hong Gi on her right, welcoming and ticking out the audience. Although Won bin is feeling weird to be with Lee Joone and also her lover all along, he’s actually enjoying it. Then again, being with Lee Joone is always a moment to enjoy for him, no matter who she is with. When the whole crowd is in, and also when the three of them are about to get to work, Lee Joone asks.

“So, did she come?”

Won Bin almost freezes on the spot, and turns to her. He only manages a nod, and he mutters. “Yeah…she’s here…”

She punches him playfully as he’s about to enter the suite. “You pabo! You should have shown her to me!”

He only smiles. How will she react when she realizes it’s her? But then again, he saw how she acts around Hong gi, how much she enjoys his company whereas around him…it’s different, he can’t understand what is real and what is not. She’s complicated, her happiness, her smile oh, everything about her is. How can he even come to the decision of letting her know everything when he’s not sure of her real feelings? What if he really hurt her? Will he ever forgive himself if he makes her cry again? But if he doesn’t do it…he’s not sure who he will be hurting, but mostly it will be him, it will hurt him more to keep it stuck in his heart forever, and how will he help himself when he can’t keep it for himself anymore?

But no…right now, he can’t tempt himself. It’s not his love which really matters until the end of the concert tonight, what really matters is bringing out a perfect performance.

“Let me see my boys, how do we look?” Lee Joone chimes as she does her usual overlook on each of the members. Since she’s all happy and cheerful after her great success in saving her brother that she doesn’t seem to mind what happened between the other three members and her, she’s still treating them the same as always.

When she’s done, she sends each of them on stage accordingly. As always, the concert starts with the intro. Being backstage, he can hear the audience screaming as the two drums starts, Won Bin sees Lee Joone widen her eyes, she turns to him. “Frowny, how big is the audience exactly?”

Won Bin looks ahead. “3000 as far as I know it”

“Omo! That many?”

He nods. “That’s not big comparing to real concerts…”

“Real concerts?” She asks, genuinely surprised. Won Bin opens his mouth to speak, but Hong Gi, as always, interrupts. “Yah! Oh Won Bin! You’re NEXT!”

Lee Joone gasps. “Silly PABO!! Ka! KA!!” She says and puts the guitar over his head. “Ka~! Palli!!”

(*Ka=Go, Palli=Hurry)

And before even he could stop it, he starts laughing. “Yah! Lee Joone CHILL!”

“Moe~? Yah get on the stage!” She pushes him again, and so he does, laughing hysterically. He has never, in his life, been any happier, and he knows his happiness has everything to do with her.

The opening song for the night is a song by FT FOUR named train, which Hong gi and Won Bin sing together, the two voices makes a beautiful combination, and the three thousand membered crowd goes crazy along with the music that the two bands are making together. Although it’s a mini concert for fundraising, it’s almost a real, large scale concert happening in the college hall. They never expected the crowd to be this big, they never expected that they will be doing this good, but now that they all are playing, even they can’t believe themselves, this is the best performance that Won Bin has ever taken part in. He has never been so active in a concert in his life, and as he sings, he feels as though he owns the entire stage, this is him, singing for the sake of his love. Doesn’t he have all the reasons to be happy?

At the end of the first song, It’s the TREASURE all along which puts the start to the second song,’Loving you’ which Won Bin starts, Hong gi contributing with his singing making it sound even more beautiful. At the end of the intro, it’s Won Bin’s chance to announce the audience about the purpose of the concert.

The concert was named after what the members call themselves; ‘Pirates and terminators hand-in-hand peace concert’ which Won Bin came up with, and the assumed income of the concert is 50 million but the amount they earned is only 45 million, which will only be enough for her to pay for the pacemaker that was implanted but not for the whole process. This, Lee Joone doesn’t know but Won Bin does. He will never let her know. He’s a man with money, and he knows what exactly he should do with the 5 million left.

After the brief speech given by Won Bin, the concert goes on. The performances are done in many ways, sometimes only the treasure will play, giving Hong gi some time to hang around with Lee Joone, and sometimes onlt FT FOUR will play, spearing sometime for Won Bin to indulge himself by watching her. It’s more like a game, a cold war between the two of them to win her heart going backstage of the peace concert.

During the break, it’s Hong gi who manages to catch her first. It breaks Won Bin’s heart to see her away from his grasp. He wishes it could be like yesterday forever, he wish he can hold her hand the way he did last night for the rest of his life, but just now, she’s not in his grasp, and just for now, Hong Gi is the biggest rival he has ever had.

The two bands are back stage and are resting while enjoying the food and beverages they were given by the Memphis sponsoring them. The two bands being together is a moment to enjoy, but not for Won Bin. For him, it’s time for an outrageous cold war. And apparently both Lee Joone and Hong Gi are too childish to understand that they have a constant eye on them.

“You’re such a mess when you come to eating Lee Joone!” Hong Gi comments as Lee Joone takes a massive bite of cream puffs that she has brought them as a little treat for the help they’re giving her. Won bin is actually enjoying it, sitting in a side by himself, watching her messing herself with the cream. But it really reaches his nerves when Hong Gi flirts with her. What a pabo, she so stupid and oblivious to what he’s doing!

“Gosh! I AM a mess! Somebody get me a tissue please!!!” She moans shaking her hands hysterically, and both Hong Gi and Won Bin moves fast towards the tissue box. In a swift movement they both end up having their hands in it, this time it’s Won Bin who succeeds. He grabs a tissue giving Hong Gi an icy glare and hands it to Lee Joone.

“Gomowo! Frowny!” She says cheerfully and begins wiping herself. When she’s done, she looks at Hong Gi for help. “Is it gone?”

He shakes his head. “There’s some left on your chin”

“Jinja?” She asks and rubs it off. “Better?”

Hong Gi shakes his head again. “No…there’re some more on your upper lip…shall I kiss it off?” He asks with a smile. Won Bin widens his eyes. He’d sit back and watch every pathetic thing they do, but no…kissing her? He is SO not going to sit back and watch that.

“Lee Joone!” Won Bin hears his voice saying, without really having anything in his mind to say. She turns to him immediately, and he’s stuck having nothing to say. Crap! What on earth is he doing?

“Nae~? Won Bin??” She asks. He continues to stare at her face, panicked. Crazy, crazy him! Why did he call her name??

“Ani…Kugae…” He says, trying to figure out something to say, and finally comes up with the lamest excuse ever. “Just…I-I can’t remember what…I was going to…say…”

She makes a face. “You’re weird today, frowny…Wae? Nervous??”

He raises his eyebrows, uncertain of what she means, and it occurs to him when she smiles. He told her he would confess to his girl tonight…
But how can he when the things are apparently this way?

He shakes his head. Last segment…that will be only the last segment…not yet…

The break of fifteen minutes ends and the next part of the show starts with a performance done by Hong Gi and Won Bin done together, an English song by an American rock band called Muse. The show goes on, until the item where both the main vocals don’t perform. Its then that things actually gets weirder having Ha Ra, Lee Joone, Soo young, Hong Gi, Won Bin and Minhwan  left in the suite.

Won Bin doesn’t want to be in the same room where two flirting sessions are taking place, it’s disgusting him. Hong Gi and Lee Joone, he saw it all day long and except for the fact that it’s his lee Joone whose flirting here, it doesn’t exactly bother him much, but Minhwan! He never even imagined that little childish magnae will actually end up flirting with a girl! But here he is, outrageously flirting with Ha Ra! Won Bin watches them both with his eyes widened like plates. He can’t believe his eyes, and he’s not sure who he should be watching right now. Soo young noona is completely unconcerned; she’s sitting alone, listening to music leaving the two couples and only him watching this nonsense. And Minhwan, he’d have felt better if its someone of his age, or someone prettier or someone with a better understanding (All three qualities referring to Lee Joone) but Ha Ra? Of all the people her?? He shakes his head and buries his head in his hands. He had to be here, he just had to.

“I was going to ask you…what’s with the weird hair pin?” Hong Gi asks, immediately gaining Won Bin’s attention. He looks up at her to see her sitting in a saloon chair smiling than ever before. Shouldn’t she be more not-open than being that so flirty? Because it’s seriously disgusting him. He watches her shyly touching her hair. “I can take it off if it’s weird…”

Won Bin’s heart freezes. She can’t take it off…it’s him who gave it for her…

“Where did you get it?” Hong Gi asks looking interested, and if he can do it right now, he will seriously er punch him.

“A little girl gave it to me…at the hospital last night…”

Hearing what she just said, his heart shreds into million pieces. It wasn’t the girl who gave it to her; it was him who did although the girl asked him to. It was because of him that she got it, why does she act as though she doesn’t even care?

“A little girl? That’s cute, but seriously Lee Joone you can’t be looking like a little girl!” Hong Gi says critically. Won Bin sees how Lee Joone’s face change, how she gives him an apologetic smile as her hand slowly moves upwards and she takes off the clip, making Won Bin’s heart ache so badly. He feels as though he’s the biggest fool here. The biggest fool to love someone from whom he can’t ever expect receive any love back. He buries his head once more and decides to keep his eyes only on Minhwan and Ha Ra…at least it doesn’t bother him as much as it bothers him to see how Lee Joone ignores what he’s doing for her.  

Minhwan really seems so grown up when it comes to being with girls. For Won Bin its as though he’s seeing a completely different person. His childishness seems to be nothing but a downright lie before his eyes as he watches his magnae asking an older noona out on a date. He has gone so far, even Won Bin himself still hasn’t asked anyone out on a date, and MinHwan met Ha Ra not long ago whereas Won Bin met Lee Joone a month ago and still has no courage to confess to her, the courage that his sixteen year old magnae has.

Its relief for him when they’re called back on the stage, and the next segment is to switch songs between the two bands, Won Bin will be singing a song which belongs to FTFOUR along with them while Hong Gi will sing a song which belongs to TREASURE. It was Lee Joone who came up with it, Soo Young made it more interesting by having the two supervisors choosing what song they should sing. Won Bin still doesn’t know what Song Hong Gi is singing, but his biggest fear is him singing the song that he treasures more than anything else. He will not bear it if he hears Hong Gi singing the song that he wrote for her.

Won Bin waits backstage feeling weirder than ever waiting for the music to start. He can’t figure out what song Lee Joone has picked for Hong Gi to sing, but the song that Soo Young noona picked for him really is appealing for him. It’s called ‘Marry me’ with loud and heavy music, exactly the kind of music that Won Bin expects. He listened to it a few times before concert that he’s quite familiar with it, even the lyrics are not hard for him to memorize, and also matches the moment so well because after his singing, he will do it, exactly the way she wanted it…he will call her up o the stage and tell her who he has been telling her about all these days and just how she wants it, kiss her before all 3000 crowd in the hall. He’s nervous, fearing if anything will go wrong, but he’s not about to change his mind. He will tell her. He will let her know how much she means to him, he will let her know that she’s the one lucky girl he loves…

“Are they ready?” Lee Joone asks, hurrying by him in quick steps, he moves away, giving her enough space to do all the running she wants and waits. He’s more than just nervous right now. How will she react when she hears him calling out for her? He can imagine that breath-taking smile on her face, he can imagine her approaching him in her sweet small steps, and he can imagine the sweet, tender feel of her lips on his which he has been anticipating for ages after he did it first that day before five hundred people on a stage. But tonight, he will be meaning it for her…he will sincerely pass the message of his love for her through that simple touch on her lips-

But it takes less than a second for everything to change; it takes only one big mistake of her to change him completely, to give him a pain he has never endured before. He has been hurt, not once, but many times, but he has never felt such a pain hitting him in his life…no…not even when his father practically killed him for messing up his music test, not even when he was uninvited for his sisters big day…no other pain has he felt hitting him this so badly as much as this severe pain is hurting him right now. It’s love. He now knows more than anything else that it is... It’s the love that he has apparently lost in just one night. The love he had so close, in his grasp, but now it’s not his love anymore…it’s hers…

The words that he wrote only for her, his feelings that he so dearly put down in letters to build up a song with all his love is being now sung by someone else who is apparently not him who wrote it. Won Bin can practically feel his heart shredding into million pieces as he hears the same words being sung in a voice which is not his but of the man that she loves. He closes his eyes so tightly, trying his best to ignore the pain he’s being given just now. He hears her just a few feet away from him, and her remarks make it worse. He wishes he can melt and be through the floor, he wishes he never wrote it but kept his feelings concealed, he’s been fooled. Severely blinded by his own love for her which apparently has no worth now…

“Wow…he sounds good, doesn’t he unnie?”  Lee Joone comments over the music being played on the stage. His breath is stuck in his lungs, not wanting to break through. Why can’t she understand it that it’s meant for her? Every word, every single sentence of it only possesses his feelings for her, his feelings that he so dearly protects without letting them be hurt, but what she just did to him hurt them like icy spheres, the pain is just so hard for him to bear.

“I really love this song…I knew he will do so well…”

He gulps hard. He can’t let himself break, no; this is not the moment for it. The purpose for him to be singing on this stage tonight before 3000 people is to collect money for her, and doing his best for her will be the best thing that he can do for her.

Hong Gi ends Soyogi the same way that he does, and it feels like ages have passed for him, but he can’t let himself break down until there’s nothing. He has to do it, he has do his best for her…

Now it’s his chance to sing on stage,  he stands back and waits as the members of his band file out backstage. It’s Jae Jin who stops by him and pats him on his back. “Fighting! Hyung!” He says. Won Bin smiles, but deep inside, he’s melting and burning like never before.

 The members of FT FOUR come after him, and they all arrive before the 3000 people in the audience. The audience welcomes him back with a loud, ear pitching scream, he gives them his best and the biggest smile. And so music starts. He proceeds with his singing, trying his best to forget all about what happened just now…

‘We don't have to part every day,
We don't have to worry about cab fare.
We don't have to watch out for our parents even when we drink late at night.
Let's meet and talk about our love story that heated up the phone every night.
Let's stop dating…’

Without his awareness, he closes his eyes and sings along, remembering every single word of the lyrics as he had it in mind…

‘Marry me, my baby. Marry me, my lady.
Because you are the only one for me. Because you are my everything’
Marry me, my baby. Marry me, my lady.
Because you are the only one for me. Because you are my love’

And before even he can stop himself, his mind starts to drift away. Far, far away from where he is now…he goes back in time…

She rips her skirt…looks at him adorably…and he can’t remember seeing anything more beautiful….

The music goes on.

‘Look mister, whoever you are, I don't care, just don't think I'm a play toy that you can play around whenever you want to okay?’ She yells at him, but what he sees is an adorable kitten screeching at him, and he doesn’t care…

The music is still on…

His mind goes on, running through that beautiful journey of meeting his true love…

‘Haven’t you ever had the feeling? Haven't you ever been...loved?’ He loves…yes his does, more than anything else on earth…but he has never been loved…
 

And so it’s his part to sing.

‘I don't have to say good bye’

He sees her going away with another man…he doesn’t even get to say good bye…but the look on her face…she doesn’t want it, she doesn’t want his good bye…

‘I don't have to worry about you sleeping’

Seeing her sleeping…what other more beautiful sight does he know of? The visions of seeing her sleeping rushes through his mind, he remembers how he sees her angel like figure, drunk and asleep on the sofa before him. She’s beautiful, no, it’s something more to it…he has no words to explain. He remembers how he touches her silky dark hair, the soft heart filling feel of it, he touches her cheeks, runs his hands around her neck…stares at the very lips that he stole a sweet mellow kiss from her…

And his throat goes dry. He can’t sing anymore. His mind has drifted away too far, he has gone too far….he can’t sing anymore because now what has filled his mind is her, and the lyrics are not there anymore. The sudden remembrance of her has caused it, he has completely forgotten the words….he can’t sing anymore…

And the music stops. He closes his eyes tight and lowers his head, not wanting to face the 3000 people once more. The loud cry of the audience is just so unbearable for him. The lead vocals of the TREASURE, overall winner every week, best performance winner on BOTB, the only son of a famous musician forgets his lyrics on the stage, embarrasses himself on the stage. He has failed, he has broken into million pieces before 3000 people, that once arrogant, unbreakable Oh Won Bin failed to be steady on stage because of one reason that he has never had in his life. He failed because of love; he’s embarrassing himself in front of so many people because of love. A love that he has failed to receive.

If he can disappear right now, he will take all his chances to do so. How can he face them, how can he face anyone? He just embarrassed himself like no other. He can’t believe of what he has become. He has never failed in anything when it comes to singing, when it comes to anything to do with music, but before his love, he has failed.

He can’t remain on the stage anymore, and so he runs away. He wants to hide and never come out but hide away in a place that no one could find him. It’s her who did this to him. If he never met her, if he never helped her that day, he wouldn’t have become this pathetic self that he is now. He hates her for doing this, he just hates her-

“Yah, Oh Won Bin, Gwenchana?”

And his heart stops dead. After doing this to him, after completely ruining it, she dares to appear before him?

Before even he can stop himself, he hears her voice say. “You ruined me…”

He sees her eyes becoming wet, but he knows they just means nothing, he means nothing to her.

“Won Bin…if it’s Soyogi…”

“How dare you do that to me Lee Joone? You let him sing Soyogi-!” He hears his voice yelling, but he still can’t figure out a way to stop himself. His breathing hardens, his throat goes dry, it’s because of her, and it’s all because of her.

“I’m sorry! It really didn’t occur to me! I’m sorry I ruined your confess-!”

He pushes her away. “Don’t ever come before me!”

“Won Bin!” She calls out and steps towards him, that’s when he hears it, plastic, being crunched under her feet. He looks down at her feet, Lee Joone follows, and he hears her slightly gasp. She has dropped it. The hair pin he gave her the night before, and she has broken it into pieces, just like she did to him. He can’t find more air to breath, he can’t think of any other fool who’s worse than him. He loves someone who has no value of him, who has no feeling for him, but who will rather crush and destroy him and who will never care.

Without any other word, he rushes past her, past everybody else in the hall way, past everything around him until he’s out of the hall, out of the sight of anyone who will pretend around him and searches a place to hide. And that’s when he sees it, the best place to hide away is already approaching him, and without any hesitation he rushes towards her, and hides himself in her hands, wishing he could hide away in her hands forever.

“Ssh…Binnie…don’t be like this….”

He shakes his head. He can’t. he feels like a complete fool, just like she always says to him, he’s a real fool, a real fool to love her.

His sister pulls away and holds his face in her hands. “Look, Binnie, you can’t do this to yourself, do you hear me? We don’t belong in that world of her…you and I are in a completely different world…a world were only music is real, nothing else…and if it’s your dream to make a life through music, you can’t let anything else penetrate you, okay? Not her, not this-nonsense…nothing…be strong…what’s important here is you…go up on that stage and somehow make it up to them okay? I know you can do it.”

Won Bin nods and steps back. She’s right. This is his life, his life which is completely different from hers. She can love anybody, do anything she wants, but he can’t. He’s stuck with many barriers put up before him, his world unlike hers, is full of exceptions, one mistake could lead to another. And the BOTB rock sensation can’t embarrass himself on stage! It will be unfair for his whole band, he can’t do that to them. He has to make it up to them and clear things out.

He nods to his sister in response, and she gives him an appraising smile. No matter whatever he does, he knows she’s there for him.

Without another word, he hurries back inside glaring at anyone who passes by. They must be thinking he’s failed, they must be laughing at his great humiliation, but he won’t sit back and wait until he’s completely destroyed, no, then that won’t be Oh Won Bin, he must be strong. He has to show that he can’t be broken by anything, no, not even by his own undesirable love.

He doesn’t stop until he’s right before his band members, and so he mutters. “On the stage…now”

As always, the band members follow his lead. The members of FT FOUR retrieve from the stage, making space for TREASURE to take up. The loud yelling and shouting has over taken the whole auditorium, but the 3000 people in the crowd makes no enough force to break him down again. He approaches the mike, turns to Jong Hun and says. “After Love” He nods, and the music starts.

The music is angry and tougher than all the songs that they sang on the concert before. It suited his mood so well as he too, played and sang so angrily. He has done this before, many times, venting his anger on the audience and on his music, he knows it harms nobody, only the audience will love him more, and even now, his frown, his anger and the power of his voice caught immense attention from those who are in the audience, and nothing shows; the reason to his anger, the reason of him forgetting his words, nothing, only the song matters just now.

He has succeeded, at the end of the song he knows that he has, the audience has accepted it as just a simple mistake although the story behind it is big and unknown to the others. But no matter how much he has succeeded on covering up for his mistake, he will never succeed on what he has already failed. He has lost it, his love, no matter how hard he tried, he has. So he will stay back and let her do whatever she wants. She just proved it to him that he’s nothing for her. She and only she knows how much that song means to him, and she let her loved one to sing it, it means nothing else but only that he’s nothing to her. So tonight, he will do what has to be done without breaking the promise he made and back away, ignoring all his undesirable feelings. There’s no point, they’re just nothing to her.

The peace concert ends with a medley done by the two bands together, it’s the most enjoyable part of the whole concert but Won Bin doesn’t enjoy, not even a half of it. He only goes on singing, not even Lee Joone’s ‘remembering happy memories’ theory doesn’t work because all his happy memories have something, everything to do with her. He’s glad when the concert comes to an end. He tries his best to give his biggest smile to the massive audience, and everything’s over, he rushes to the suite without a word. He sees her watching him, he sees her face darkened and sad, but he knows her tricks now. She can act, more than anything else she can, and he won’t get caught in them anymore.

He walks to his bag in a swift movement and takes out his personal cheque book for his personal bank account and writes a cheque for her of 5 million wons, he walks to her bag and places it there. He sighs hard and closes his eyes after seeing her stuff spread all over the place. He has all the reasons to love her, and so he does. He loves her so much up to the point that he’s ready to sacrifice anything for her. But she doesn’t allow him to love her, and nothing hurts him more. He want to love her, he want to hold her and tell her how much he does, he want to tell her how much he needs her, for a man who receives love so little, it’s her love that he needs. But he’s not receiving it, and it’s so painful for him to bear. He wishes if he can hate her like he did before that whatever she does will never matter to him. But he can’t, because now, during this short period of time, she has become everything in his life.

He sighs again. His sister was right. The reason why he can’t have her is that the worlds that they live in are different, maybe they don’t belong together, maybe this is how this should be. Her loving another while he’s ready to give his life for her must be how it’s meant to be…and now that she has betrayed him, maybe it’s high time to let her go. Pursing his lips, he stares at her things longingly. He can’t have her…not in this life…he has no hopes for her…so he’ll let her go…

He decides to leave early, not waiting for the after party, seeing her right now will hurt him more, and what he needs right now is to be alone so he gathers his stuff and packs them into his bag hurriedly before anyone will turn up. He packs his guitar and hangs the case on his back, he grabs his bag and without even wasting his time for any kind of a good bye, he hurries out of the room. He can’t face anyone right now, he knows they will ask what his reasons were to forget his lyrics on the stage, and he doesn’t want to be reminded of the humiliation once more.

But he doesn’t get to go too far…the very person that he doesn’t want to lay his eyes on, appears before him, and he can’t breathe anymore. He loves her…he can’t undo it now….how can he help himself? Before her he’s hopeless!

It hurts him, seeing moisture in her eyes. There he has done it again, he has made her cry. But now he can’t help her like he did yesterday, because right now, he has nobody to heal his wound. He has to ignore her tears and move on. And he does, at least he tries to, but he can’t ignore it to hear her calling him.

“Won Bin-ah…please forgive me…I didn’t think it will hurt you this much…I will make it up to you somehow…” She moans before him, and he watches her longingly, whatever she does is lovely, even her pleading is. But she doesn’t belong to him…she has hurt him, she has proved it to him…he can’t accept meaningless apologies after its done, what’s the point now that it’s all over?

He shakes his head and looks straight into her eyes. “If it’s done, it’s done, Lee Joone…there’s no way that you can make it up for me…”

She says nothing but stares at him, her eyes filling with tears. He can’t watch her, not anymore.  The tears that she’s shedding here are nothing but lies, he can’t wipe and kiss them off, and that will make him even more of a joke. He has to leave before he really does it; he has to leave her crying here all alone…

He turns to leave just as he wants to, to hide himself somewhere she can’t find him, but she doesn’t let him go. He feels her hand wrapping around his, and he closes his eyes. He can’t take it anymore. Why can’t she understand the pain he’s in right now after being so badly betrayed?

He turns back to her. “Stop it Lee Joone…leave me alone…”

“Won Bin-ah…” She mutters. But he harshly pulls himself away from her. “Go….I hate you now…just go…”

With that, he walks away; he walks away as fast as he could. He can’t believe he said that to her, he can’t believe he actually did that to her…but like he said, when it’s done, it’s done, and could never be undone. He walks away, further and further away from her. But in the middle, he pauses and takes one last glance at her…his heart falls thousand miles through the ground to the core. She’s crying so hard with her face buried in her hands, for him she’s almost too visible…and so is he…Hong gi, as always, appears from nowhere and runs his hands around her. She lays her head on his chest and cries so hard just how she did the day before. He can’t figure out what her tears means, what reasons she has to cry…all he understands is that he can’t watch it, not anymore because now what he sees is not the union of two lovers, but a man taking up his place in her heart, and oblivious to her, he’s the one who’s receiving the biggest pain, so he turns away. He has no point of remaining here…he doesn’t belong here anymore…

 

Won Bin doesn’t know that he’s being watched as he wipes his own tiny tears sitting along in the darkness inside the jeep, but further away from him is a pair of eyes, watching him with genuine concern, and the owner of the eyes knows…he knows more than he should know…

 

 

 

 

I have never known anyone more stupider than myself, only now that I know…well, the most stupidest, the most hideous minded person ever to exist is me. I knew, so perfectly L knew that Soyogi means the whole world to me. I know that he wrote it for her, but even though I made Hong gi sing it, he has all the reasons to hate me. I used him, betrayed him, ruined his sweet confession, I’m one hell of an idiot who should be hated by this whole wide world. But the problem is, how half of the world doesn’t.

The day after the peace concert is a Saturday, and I declared if free of practicing .So early in the morn, I straight away visit my Oppa at the hospital. He has gotten a lot better now, he can speak well, can sit upright on the bed, can laugh a bit, and that’s more than enough for me. I spend two hours there, telling him all and everything about me and well…my latest love…and how I ruined his confessions to his girl. But the reply I get from him is totally different.

“Shouldn’t he be loving you? He can’t confess to another with your help if you like him too!” He says definitely interested in his sister’s love story which is frankly very twisted.

I shake my head. “He doesn’t know that I like him…since I’m dating Hong Gi…” I hang my head, feeling guiltier than ever. I feel like a complete playgirl! Loving someone else while dating another?

“You’re in a mess Joonie” He says, looking concerned as always. I nod. Yes indeed I am…I’m in a love mess.

“But oppa…if he likes somebody else…and if another guy likes me…isn’t it fair to let the guy who actually likes me to have me? I mean…at least somebody likes me…”

He smiles. “My little sister has grown up a lot! But I think it’s better to follow your heart…”

I smile and think for a second. “Oppa…you know...Won Bin and I have the same problem…He likes a girl who likes someone else…I like a guy who has a crush on another girl…and we both can’t follow our hearts…”

He shakes his head. I have never loved anyone other than my sister, so I really don’t know how to help you out…but about yesterday….you have to apologize okay?”

I nod. “Yeah…I treat him really bad and he treats me really good…I’m a wreck…I did it twice and never apologized…”

“Take him out for a treat…I did it once to a girl, works out well!” Oppa suggests. I look at him with widened eyes. “Fabulous! I was thinking the same….and I should help him get his girl…now that I ruined his confession, I should help him get her somehow…I have to forget it that I like him…he can’t hate me more…”

Oppa leans over and pats on my head. “Just do what you think is right…I’m with you as long as it’s no harm to you…”

I smile. At least I have him for everything…

Afterwards, I find myself walking so slowly down the corridor as though my life depends on it, my mind drifting away to that night we spent here together. Oh how much I wish if that was forever… I will give all I have if I can get that night back. If it wasn’t for him, I’d have died here being horrified, but he made my day…and I ruined his. I sigh seeing the child care centre before me. He’s so adorable if I haven’t noticed that before. He will make a perfect daddy one day although his father treats him like crap. I remember how he played along with the two boys; he also went to his childhood times and became a four year old child himself. But didn’t he ever know that my attention was constantly on him? If I can really do it, I will tell him everything just how I want to do. But I can’t. I ruined everything for him. And now he hates me…only if I can make it up to me…

And that’s when I hear it, a familiar voice…of a baby girl…Ji Young…

Without even thinking about anything else but what I need, I look around the place, and see her skipping down the corridor with the nurse looking happy as ever, I walk to her.

“Oh! Aren’t you the student who helped me the other day?” The nurse greets me happily. I bow. “Yes I am, Ahjumma! Hello!”

“Hello! So where is your boyfriend?” She asks. I’m sure I turn red, only if she knows that now we’re the biggest rivals…

“He…couldn’t come…he’s a boy band singer so he has practices...I came to visit my brother…”

She smiles. “That’s lovely…Ji Young says a lot about you two…”

I smile and bend down to her. “Really? You do?”

“She seems to like you two…you should visit with him again, she’s waiting…”

I look at the kid who stares at me happily and her eyes moves to my hair. “Oppa didn’t give my present?” She asks sweetly. Guilt sweeps through me like a fire. “Ah…kugae…I-It…broke…and I look ugly again…”

The kid flinches adorably. “You are ugly…”

I smile again. “So…can you give me another one so I can look pretty again?”

The kid nods and reaches up to her pretty dark hair. She hands me out another really cute purple pin. I take it and put it on my hair. “Here…now do I look pretty?”

 The girl smiles. “Pretty…”

I smile wider and straighten up. “Gomowo Ji Young-ah~! Now Oppa won’t call me ugly again…”

The nurse laughs. “Your Oppa (Meaning to boyfriend) called you ugly?”

I smile. “He calls me stuff all the time...” I lie.

She shakes her head. “All the boyfriends are like that…they never mean it…”

I only keep on smiling. How can I tell her that he’s not my boyfriend after all?  How can I tell her that he might have actually meant it?
No I can’t…that will sound even stupider so I say nothing but give them a pleasant goodbye and walk away, feeling rather light that I found myself another hairpin…but the one I broke yesterday, I’m treasuring it with all my heart…

Later that day, I get into business on my latest mission, ‘Apologizing Won Bin a.k.a. Frowny’.  At first I had no idea how I should do it, after what I did, I don’t think he will ever forgive me. But, at least trying might do some good, and afterwards I will do my best to help him out to get her. First, I have to take him out. So what I do is I write a note for him and slip it under the gate. I know he’s at home. I checked the Treasure Island and since it’s empty, he IS at home. Then I send him a text through my oppa’s phone which is with me, asking him to come to the gate. I wait outside, sitting on our bench enthusiastically waiting for him.

More than enthusiastic, I’m kind of worried. What if he totally ignores it, guessing that it’s me? What if somebody else finds the note and kills him off for it? I’d be ruining his life again. But yeah, now if it’s done, it’s done…how can I undo it now?

It’s about fifteen minutes later that I hear the gate being opened and I sit straight, wishing from hell to earth that It’s him coz I’m in no state to run away right now. My heart is now in my throat, no matter how much I try to gulp it down, there’s no point…my heart is still there in my throat-

 And so it positions back in my chest when I see him, Won Bin walking out of the opened gate looking blank as ever in the most boring cloths ever. He looks as though he’d been sleeping all day, his hair is sticking out like of an endangered red-brown porcupine species, (I don’t know whether they exist) and his eyes are practically blinded by the fringes fallen over his face. He looks around, expecting someone unfamiliar and weird, but when he catches my sight. He pauses, more like freeze to the spot as though I’m not even supposed to be here. But whatever he does, I’m getting into my plan.

I smile widely and wave at him. I see him flinch; he remains standing there for a minute, and turns away. But I move faster. I quickly run to him and catch him by his hand. “You are not going anywhere…”

He sighs. “You’re not stopping this are you?”

I shake my head. “Not until you forgive me. You can frown as much as you want but I’m not going home without apologizing.”

He stares at me blankly. I purse my lips and start dragging him towards the bench where I my bag is. I make him stand there. My hand still around his as I dig in through my bag.

“Ha! There!” I exclaim when I find it, and hand it over to me. He looks at me, slightly surprised. “What is this?”

I smile. “Since I broke the pin you gave last night…I asked for another one from the girl…she said I look ugly without it and gave me this…!”

He makes a face. “Why are you giving it to me?”

I smile, take his hand and place it there. “Here…I’m sure the girl you like is a lot pretty…there’s no point of even trying to make my ugly self look pretty…so take it, and give it to her when you confess…”

He stares at me blankly for a few seconds, and my heart skips a few beats when he makes an unmistakable slight smile. I swear I will die if he ever smiles for real…

Then he clenches his hand and slips it into his pockets, and turns to me. “I have to go…”

I make a face. “Why? Are you busy? You look more like you’ve been sleeping….if not, let’s go out together! There’s something I need to tell you...”

He looks up at me, surprised, and shakes his head. I smile. “That’s great! Let’s  go then!”

I pull him by his hand, but he doesn’t even move.  I sigh. “Look, you can hate me alright but-,”

“Let me get the Jeep then.”

I stop dead. He’s doing it! He actually is coming with me!!!

Okay, now I’m officially declaring that this is actually my secretive date with him.

But it won’t be fun if we go on the jeep…

“Wait!” I say, pulling him back. “We’ll walk…”

He sighs and remains standing. I plead. “Come on frowny! I didn’t walk for days and now I look like a barrel!”

He looks at me and purses his lips. “You’re really annoying you know that?”

 I smile. “Gomowo!!!! Won Bin you’re the best!”

And the next thing I know is we’re walking down the street, looking stupid as ever as Won Bin goes on frowning, me coming up with ideas.

“We should go to an amusement park,” I say enthusiastically. “Oppa said we should…plus I can’t remember going to one for ages!”

Won Bin says nothing but goes on walking. I continue. “And to a karaoke bar! I’ve seen people going to Karaoke bars in dramas…and then we should go to the market! We can eat there and-,”

Won Bin pauses on his track and looks up at the air. I too, follow him and look up, but I see him turn to me. “Would you stop talking and just walk? You sound like a whole pack of screeching cats.”

I roll my eyes. Seriously? Gosh! I love him, but he’s the worse kind to go on a secretive date with.

“Okay then…” I sigh. “I won’t say ANYTHING and walk like a zombie…”

And for the next few minutes I leave him behind me and walk before him, enjoying the aspects of the mid spring on my own. I might hate raining but I have nothing against the spring. I love the mild, moisture climate; it’s hot during the afternoon, mild during the morning and evening, and cold at night and early morn. I love to see the greening trees after seeing them dark and sombre for almost six months during the past two seasons, and since Seoul is a city with real beauty, it makes the spring better, and what makes it better is having your loved one walking behind you (Although he’s completely ignoring you), nothing could feel better than feeling warm and secured being around the one you love.

I’m not disappointed or unhappy…really, I think the true meaning of love is not holding someone back to yourself, not letting that person do what he wants but to sit back and watch him follow his heart with a smile on your face. What could be better than seeing his smile for once although it’s not for you? And I will be the same. I will only stand back and help him, watching him from far as he makes himself towards the one he loves, and nothing will ever feel so good.

It’s a moment later that I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pause on my walk and pull it out into my hand.

And that’s when it occurs to me…today is actually my birthday! Gosh! I was so badly engrossed in this apologising Won Bin thing that I even forgot my own birthday!!

I had 20 messages on my phone, two from my Oppa wishing me a happy birthday and apologising for forgetting it. I can forgive him alright; even I forgot my own birthday! What a pabo!

And half of the other messages are from Ha Ra wishing me a happy birthday and asking for a treat blah blah, and only two catches my attention. One from Jae Jin, asking me to come to the Treasure Island, and the other from Hong Gi, asking me to come to the Memphis. I smile to myself. How do they both know my birthday…oh wait, Ha Ra must have told them…
And gosh! I forgot grandma...
And voila, her message appears right at the moment. My lovely twenty first century granny!

‘Happy birthday my little Devil! Turning eighteen aren’t you? I woke up early and made Sea food soup for you but you were already gone!”

Without even my awareness, I start laughing like a mad woman. Seriously! This eighteen year old I forget my birthday, but that seventy five year old granny remembered it!

“What’s funny?” A voice asks, I’m so engrossed in my own crazy laughing matters that the voice makes me hop. I see Won Bin beside me. I laugh harder. “Gosh frowny! I’m SUCH a pabo! I forgot my birthday!”

Suddenly Won Bin steps back. “It’s your birthday today?” He asks, looking surprised. I laugh even more. “This is crazy! You didn’t know?”

He slowly shakes his head, looking as though I just shot him. I stop laughing and give him a look. “Come on, frowny…you don’t have to look like that! It’s not a crime-!”

“You’re exactly one month older than me…” He says. I stare at him in disbelief. That can’t be…that means…I’m his…noona? Oh god! I always thought he is older!
And that has been why he looks as though I just shot him. Not because he didn’t know my birthday but because I’m older…
Yeah right, getting your hopes up aren’t you Lee Joone? Me Paboya…

I smile and punch him on his arm. “There…you have to call me noona then! Come on! Call me NOONA!”

He gives me a look and says nothing. I shrug. Seriously? I have never been in such a boring secretive date in my life!
Okay…this is my first secretive date…and it’s practically crap.

“No point of staying here…let’s go…” I say and start walking. We end up at the bus stop. It’s Won Bin who stops there so I have no idea why.

He gets up on the first bus which comes by, I climb after him and we find only one empty seat in the back. I see him sighing heavily and making space for me. I take a seat and smile.

“Gomowo Won Bin-ah!”

He nods and the ride goes on with utters silence for a few minutes. Since it’s getting boring by the minutes, I decide to start a conversation. “So, where are we going?”

Won Bin says nothing. I roll my eyes. He is SO boring! I give him a slight nudge. “Oh Won Bin~? Where are we going?”

He stares ahead and mutters. “We’ll see when we get there…”

And the ride goes on with no speaking at all. I watch the road as it passes by faster than the time, and start wondering how fast the time goes by. I still can remember solidly, the first day I met him. Who thought we will ever end up becoming rivals, and gradually I will fall for his mean, arrogant, sweet and warm at times, but frowning all the time charisma? But now, I have so crazily fallen for it, until the point where I’d end up staring at him as though he’s all I can see on earth…

No..he IS all I can see on earth…no matter how many beautiful things stood around him, nothing seemed more beautiful in my eyes. It occurred to me seeing him and Hong Gi sing together on the stage last night. Hong Gi is a star, alright…but an angel…is more seen and more noticeable, and no matter how hard I try to look at Hong Gi, no matter how hard I try to convince myself to see him, I can’t, because my heart holds so many beautiful memories with Won Bin than it does with Hong Gi…and he fills my heart. Hong Gi does too…but now only I realise that the likeness I have towards him holds no power comparing to how much I like Won Bin. Hong Gi…is more like a very close friend, a brother for me…he doesn’t possess what I need and expect from a guy…but Won Bin has it all…he’s arrogant, but warm and lovable underneath. He has a strength that Hong Gi doesn’t have, strength to make a girl feel better which Hong Gi can’t do with his childishness and his sweetness, but Won Bin can by showing warmth that nobody has ever shown towards me. I earn for it and I’m willing to receive it even more. I wish he can fold me in his arms and hold me there forever, but I can’t break his heart by trying to take her place…I can’t interrupt his love…

“Lee Joone, let’s go”

“Eh?” I ask surprised, and see Won Bin already up on his feet. I sigh, and follow after him. I have no idea where the hell he is taking me, but I won’t ask…there’s no point of asking him anyway. We have arrived at a busy street where people are running around hectically that I have to reach out and take Won Bin’s hand to not to get lost in the pool of people. I never imagined he will actually bring me to a place-

Gosh! What a pabo I am! This is the Saturday market at Dangdaemun! I didn’t even realize…

But then again, who will ever imagine that this rich, arrogant Oh Won Bin will actually bring a girl to the Saturday market…

But the Saturday market is actually one of my favourite places, I remember my dad bringing oppa and me while working and we practically turn the place upside down when we do. Dangdaemun Saturday market, rather than just being a market, is a place for amusement. That’s the difference that it has from the weekday markets, except for the normal food and grocery stalls, there are also gaming booths and amusement areas that teenagers and kids come for. But I seriously never imagined Won bin will ever bring me here!

Together, hand in hand, we both enter through the crowded entrance. Won Bin’s practically dragging me through the crowd, his hand has nearly cut off my blood circulation, he goes on dragging me until we’re in a space that we can breathe and move around.

“Phew! That was…awesome!” I comment taking deep breaths as I do. Won bin looks around looking irritated and turns to me. “Is this place always like this?”

I nod. “In Saturdays they are…why you ask? Never been here before?”

He shakes his head. I widen my eyes. “Then why bring me here?”

He gives me a look. “You want to go somewhere else?”

I shake my head. “Ani…just…that’s weird you never being here before…almost all the kids have been here…”

He sighs. “Anyway…since you have come here before…show me around…”

I smile and take his hand. “I will love to mister Oh!”

He makes a face. But I ignore him and lead the way.

Although he doesn’t seem to enjoy it, swimming through the crowd is the next best thing about coming to busy markets. I find myself laughing the hell out as I drag him along with me until we come to the gaming area. I use my best tour guide voice and explain.

“Here we see the gaming area, you can play-,”

But he gives me a look and starts dragging me around.

Gosh, my secretive date is more of dragging transportation rather than being a date.

I stop before a booth which seems to interest me, and pull him by his hand. He turns to me and then turns to the booth, the booth owner gives us a pleasant smile.

“This seems interesting…Kaja…!”

And the next thing I know is I’m there before the booth, aiming a sponge ball at the figures before me. I take a deep breath. Okay…I have only three chances, throw one of the silly figures and win…I can do it…I can do it…

And I take my first shot-

-and watch the ball rolling away. Crap! But don’t fall…I have another two chances…

And take my second aim, but the same thing happens. I start hopping up and down angrily. I mean, I paid two hundred wons for nothing!

I take my second shot, this time I aimed it right…I know I did…
And YES! It hits a figure…
And the figure doesn’t even move! I knew I at this game!

I try my best to give a smile to the booth owner paying my gratitude for wasting my precious 200 wons and walk to the next booth.  Won Bin gives it a good look and shakes his head. “Not interesting….”

Likewise we pass by many of the booths, Won Bin giving comments on each one of them and me responding by punching him and pulling him away until we come to one of the booths where the game is to throw the ring. I don’t know why it catches his attention, but it surely does interest him.

And so I find myself cheering on Won Bin as he aims the ring to the pole, but whenever I do, he stops aiming and turns to glare at me. I sigh. This is seriously so boring! What’s the point of playing any game if I can’t cheer on him!?!

I purse my lips and stand back. He’s such a pabo! They say that cheering on the player is so important, even during the Olympics they cheer for the players and that’s an international gaming event not throw the ring-!

But surprising me, he smartly aims the first ring and it perfectly lands on the poll. Yes! Finally!

I start hopping up and down, but stop immediately when he gives me a cold glare. Gosh he is so stubborn! He might have done the first one, but that doesn’t make him a genius on it-,

And in goes the second ring in a flash, making me gasp hard until I choke. How is he doing that, seriously?

But that’s just the second ring…the third one is the hardest, he might be over his head about it but that doesn’t mean he can do the hardest one…

I watch him enthusiastically as he takes the second aim with much effort than the first two. He narrows his eyes, aiming directly at the pole and bends down. I gulp. He seems like a tough nut….a very attractive tough nut,

And so he shoots and hops away. I too, widen my eyes, all about to scream when the ring lands over the poll, but no…it still hasn’t fallen in, it’s still twirling round and round and my eyes don’t seem to leave, I don’t blink, not once as the ring turns round and round,

And falls down into the pole.

Yes! He did it! He did it!

And I’m the happiest over here, hopping up and down happily. To be frank, I hate all those games because I have never won any. I at them, but Won Bin, he did almost too well!

I turn to Won bin for a high five, I raise my hand and frankly expect him to ignore me, but he doesn’t. He slightly touches his hand on mine and turns to the booth owner, The booth owner turns to me with a hideous smile and says.

“Why don’t we let the young lady to choose the gift?”

I smile and approach closer, my eyes focused on the displayed toys. All of the soft toys look childish and hideous that none of them catches my attention; I purse my lips and continue to run my eyes over the display. I sigh, giving up; none of them really catches my attention.

“I prefer the cat, don’t you think Lee Joone?” I hear Won Bin saying beside me, and I turn to him, wondering why on earth that the cat will catch his attention. The booth owner smiles and takes down the snow white stuffed cat toy with a pink ribbon tied around its neck. I turn to Won Bin.

“What’s with the cat?” I ask, making a face. He doesn’t answer but takes the stuffed toy from the booth owner and hands it over to me. But I seriously have no idea what made him pick the cat. I simply take it and find it really appealing. It’s so soft with smooth long fur and an adorable face. I smile and hug it tightly against my chest. It’s lovable…I never liked any soft toys, they never interested me, but this once, I’m really loving it.

“So soft…” I mutter and place my cheek against it. Maybe he knew I would like it that he picked it…that’s so cute of him…

But then again, I’m imagining…he will never think of my likes and dislikes, he must be having something cruel in his mind…

Afterwards we find ourselves walking deeper and deeper into the market without saying much. It’s around eleven and the sun has fully come up in the sky making the atmosphere extremely warm and tiring. After such a long walk I’m really in need of sitting somewhere and so when we approach the area where many food booths around, I drag Won Bin along with me under a shade and find a comfy place to sit in. I lay the toy cat on my lap and sigh. I really thought going out with him for a walk is a good idea since I really ruined his day last night, but he still seems to not to forgive me for what I did. This is really disappointing, I mean, can’t he see I’m trying over here? Why won’t he even speak to me?

Won Bin sits down next to me, and as usual, says no word and remains. This is seriously frustrating, we are like a broken up couple going on a date! Maybe he doesn’t want to be with the one who ruined his confessions, and I’m the one who forced him into this, he must be hating me even more…

I should apologise to start with.

I look around to see if my plan could work, and exactly as I want it, I see a man with pink cotton candy not so far from where we are. I stand up, turn to Won bin and lay the stuffed cat on his lap, I turn to leave without a word but I turn back to him when he interrupts me.

“O-di-ga?” He asks, looking unconcerned as though he’s asking just because he has to. I give him a sweet smile. “Give me a moment okay? I won’t be that far…”

He just nods. I say nothing and skip away to the cotton candy stall. When one of the sweet, sugary smelling cotton candy sticks are in my hand, I take the sticky note that I brought from home this morning and stick it on the air filled bag. When I’m satisfied with it, I walk back to where Won Bin is, now looking blank as ever as I walk to him. I take a deep breath. Okay, now no matter if he hates me for doing this or not, I won’t care…I just want to apologize and somehow make it up to him.

“Here…this is for you…” I say and hold the cotton candy before his face. He looks at it, at me and back at the cotton candy, but doesn’t accept it. I sigh. Does he have to be this so stubborn?

“Look” I say, sitting down beside him. “I’m really really really sorry for what I did last night, and also for bothering you the night before, and also for staying the night with you at the Treasure Island that day and also for throwing you out of the house, and yeah, for throwing the paper at you, I know you wish you never met me-,”

Won Bin raises his eyebrows, and I stop blabbering, surprised by his look. And he says. “You know why I got the cat for you? Because you screech like a cat all the time.”

I widen my eyes. “Eh?”

He ignores me and takes the cotton candy stick from my hand. He stares at it for a while, and making me jump, he burst out laughing. Seriously? That is ME apologising for being a bugger, and he actually finds it a laughing matter?

And if not for his beautiful, musical laughter, I would really have punched him on his face.

He removes the sticky note off the air filled bag and reaches over to me. I swallow hard when his hand reaches my face and he sticks the note on my forehead.

Gosh! Now I really am gonna give him a good blow, seriously!

“Lee Joone is THAT what you said you wanted to tell me? ‘Miannae Won Bin-ah’ Smiley faces? And you bring me all the way here for that? how pathetic!” He says and goes on laughing as though his life depends on it. I lift my hand to punch him, but I sigh and drop it. I have succeeded after all…I made him laugh…and I feel as if I just won a world…finally I’ve made him laugh…

But I say nothing of the sort to him. This is my little secret, the happiness that his laughter is giving me, it only belongs to me, and I will cherish it as a beautiful memory in my heart.

I give him an annoyed look. “I’m really upset you know that? After seeing how much I hurt you I thought you will never speak to me again! I was so worried-,”

“I am speaking to you now, happy?” He asks looking straight into my face. I smile, a strange relief sweeping through me. “So then are you forgiving me? For everything?”

He nods. “How could I not when you’re being so pathetic to apologise me?”

I make a face. “I ain’t pathetic!”

He shakes his head. “No you aren’t, now let’s eat up your cotton candy gift and go for lunch…we’ll go to a karaoke bar afterwards”.

I smile, feeling rather excited. My secret date is going to be fun after all then!

He rips open the polythene bag with just one movement and stuffs a handful of the smooth candy cloud into his mouth before he hands it out to me. I take a handful for myself, and say.

“I’m seriously so sorry that I made Hong Gi sing your song…I didn’t mean to ruin your confession…that moment, the thought didn’t occur to me…”

Won Bin takes another handful. “That’s alright…the song isn’t a big deal either…”

I widen my eyes. “Pabo! It is! You know why I thought of making him sing it? I really really love it, it gives me a strange feeling and…” I look down, trailing off.

“And what?” Won Bin asks. I purse my lips. How can I tell him..?
Then again, it’s not like he cares…

“…And I wanted to see…whether Hong Gi gives me the same feeling that…you…give when you sing it…”

There’s silence and I don’t dare to look at him. It’s her song…and it’s not fair for me to feel anything about it…and now that I told him that it does...

“So…did Hong Gi feel the same?” Won Bin asks after a while. I find myself shaking my head. Of course there’s no point of lying…it’s not like he really cares…

There’s an irritating silence as we both nibble on the sweetness of the cotton candy clouds. After a while, I take a deep breath and ask.

“Won Bin-ah…do you still…hate…me…?”

I await an answer, I watch him until he does, and relief sweeps through me when he slowly shakes his head. I smile. He doesn’t hate me…although he said that he does last night, he really doesn’t hate me…

“Are you sure?” I ask again, just to make sure of his answer, just to make sure if I saw him right. He turns to me.

“Lee Joone…all the reasons you said to me before…they are not enough reasons to hate you…find better reasons for me if you want me to hate you again…”

I shake my head and smile. “Don’t hate me Won Bin….there is enough people who do…if you don’t hate me anymore, please don’t do it again…”

He shakes his head. “I have no reason to…”

Soon we finish up the cotton candy stick, and when we’re done, I find a tissue for Won Bin and the next thing I know is we’re back in the street, searching for a place to eat.

And Won Bin is apparently searching for a place where we can get good traditional food while I keep on suggesting fast food, so that we can be fast in eating and have some more time for my secret date.

“And why on earth do you want traditional food? It takes time and  yes, time again…”

He turns to me. “We have enough time already…”

I shrug. “But still why traditional food? We can save more time by going for fast food, or grab ramyun from a seven eleven-.”

“Isn’t it your birthday today? Did you have seaweed soup?” He asks, and I stop on my track. That is why he wants a traditional food place? So that I can have my birthday seaweed soup?

I sigh. Then again I have to go with his suggestion…I planned the date and he’s the one who’s taking decisions…

But this is my secret date right? And the guy is the one who’s supposed to decide where to go…

“There…this is good…” He comments as we take a seat in a road side food place done by some old granny, and it surprises me that he’s actually here in a kind of a place that rich boys like him will never visit. “We should get the Seaweed soup first…what do you want for lunch?”

I squeeze my hand and turn to him. “I’m fine with anything, so get me whatever you’re getting…”

He nods. “jjimdalk…You fine with it?”

I nod. “Sure…as long as I can eat fast…”

“You’re obsessed with time aren’t you?” He asks.

“Of course! I have to be!” I moan, but he only smiles before he walks away.

It doesn’t take him long to arrive with the tray of a bowl of soup and two dishes of Jjimdalk. I welcome him with a smile and stare at him as he places the bowl before me.

“Why so concerned about my stupid birthday?” I ask as he takes his own plate before himself. “I know you don’t hate me now…but just like any other guy would have done to a crappy girl like me, you should have simply ignored it!”

 He takes a pair of chopsticks and starts eating. “Not having the seaweed soup on your birthday brings bad luck...” He says, concentrating on his food.

“Jinja?” I ask, surprised. “You actually believe in such nonsense? I never miss the Seaweed soup, but I always had bad luck…”

He looks at me. “You give petty speeches to the others but you’re being all negative aren’t you?”

I take a sip of the soup. “I…don’t know…”

“Anyway” I look at him. “Have you thought about confessing to her yet? Now that I’ve wrecked it…”

He shakes his head. “I’m not sure if I should anymore…” He says, his eyes focused on his dish. I gasp. “Won Bin is it because of what I did? Don’t be that way-!”

He shakes his head. “Anya~! I don’t know…whether it’s fair…to love her…but I can’t…stop either…”

I twirl my spoon in the soup. “But…are you going to go on this way? Loving her and not telling her?”

He nods. “I can’t interrupt her…she has someone better than me…I will stay away from her…and love her from a far…”

I pat on his hand. “What a pabo! If I were you, I’d go and tell her anyway, I won’t care…”

He looks at me. “And if you were her…wouldn’t it hurt you? If you love someone else, and some other guy come and confesses to you, will you be alright?”

I think for a bit. If it’s him who’s asking, trust me I will accept him no matter who I’m really in love with. I mean, perfect guys don’t exist at every corner of the earth! But if it’s the other way around…if it’s Hong Gi who asks me when I’m loving Won Bin, I will be really so hurt…but then again…maybe the both ways does. But I have to keep myself straight.

“I will be…and if I don’t want to accept him, I will explain…if I can accept him, I’ll explain to the other…simple!”

Won Bin snorts mockingly. “Yeah…like you will”

“Why? You think I’d fail? Omo! Then ask me! I like somebody else too, so there, ask me out and see if it will hurt me!” I say harshly. I don’t know what reasons I have to yell at him, but seriously! He should at least try other than giving up! I’m in love with him, and he knows nothing about it, he doesn’t know I’m here waiting for him to confess to her so that I will be happy to see him happy. And he’s not even trying! Instead he’s saying all those pathetic nonsense and trying to make up his mind about something even he doesn’t know!

He glares at me. “Don’t think you’re so tough, because you’re not..”

I finish up my soup and put it aside. “You think I’m not? I am tough, I am VERY tough!” I take a mouthful of my dish and say. “You know what we can do? Let’s do like this. You know I’m dating Hong Gi, so then I’m in love with him…that equals me to her…and you’re you…so let’s imagine I’m her and you’re you, and that you have taken her out on a date. Confess to me like you’re confessing to her at the end of this date, and I will tell you if I’m hurt or not. If I am, don’t confess, be how you want to be…but if I’m not, you have to confess…arachchi?”

He stares at me and blinks; I await an answer, breathing hard after speaking so much without even taking a break. I know he doesn’t want to equal her to me…I know she’s nothing like me, I’m a crappy whereas she’s an angel to be loved by an angel, but what other option do I have to convince him? I seriously don’t want him to be hurt because of love. He’s strong, he’s hard to break, but when I let Hong Gi sing his song for her, he broke off…that is how much he loves her, so how can I sit back and watch him hurting himself by not telling her of how he really feels?

“I’m not waiting for you to say yes, Won Bin, I’m her, from now on, I am…tell me what her name is, you have to call me that…”

“Lee Joone…” He says suddenly, and I almost choke, I look up and see him glaring as ever. “Just why are you doing this?”

I make a face. “I’m still making up to you; remember you said I never will? Now I’m going to prove you of three things. One, I won’t be hurt, two, I’m tough, three, I will make it up to you…all by the end of the day…”

Won Bin shakes his head. “You’re going to fail Lee Joone…”

I give him a mocking smile. “You wait and see Won Bin, wait and see…”

 

It doesn’t take me long to finish my food, and since I’m in a hurry, I finish it all. And when I’m done, I’m about to explode. But I don’t care. I’m so not gonna let me full tummy to disappoint me, I’m going to win the challenge and show him that I can live through this without failing until the end. We both pay for our dishes, but Won Bin wants to pay for half of mine since now I’m being her and so we return to the street.

“So…you still didn’t tell me her name! You have to call me by that!” I say as we walk down the sidewalk which is rather calmer than the one near the Dangdaemun market. It’s around two in the afternoon and the climate has gotten warmer than it was during the morn. I find a rubber band in my bag and tie my hair into a bun since it really is bothering me and turn to Won Bin who’s silent than ever.

I shrug. “Come on! Tell me what her name is! I’m not gonna Google her or anything!”

He keeps silence without even glancing at me! I can’t believe how she will react if this is really her being taken out! But then again…this is me, not her…this is how he treats me, how he will treat her, I know, is nothing close to this.

So I decide to have no name…

We walk in silence for a while and after a moment; I move towards him and take his hand. This surprises him, but I smile. “Won Bin-ah~! You asked me out but you won’t even speak to me!”

He gives me a look. “Lee Joone that’s disgusting, you don’t have to act…she’s not like that...”

I shrug. “Then how is she like?” I ask.

“Like any other normal girl….” He answers. I roll my eyes. Yeah right, a very clear explanation.

Soon we arrive at the bus halt. We wait for a moment for a bus to turn up, and when it does, he takes my hand and we climb in together. I don’t flinch although it’s weird having him holding my hand that way…but then again, I’m pretending to be her right now…

The ride on the bus is brief so I spend the very short period of time going through my birthday wishes, smiling by myself. Hong Gi has sent me really sweet ones with all those poetic thoughts, and Seung Hyun also has sent me a media message of him and Se Hyun blowing off on a candle which is actually so cute of them. By the time that the bus ride comes to an end, I’m done with the messages. Won Bin just as he did before, takes my hand and leads me out of the bus. I’m feeling quit light, and I’m also enjoying my secret date that now it has turned into a real date although I’m playing somebody else’s part here, but it really doesn’t bother me. I’m here, holding his hand, right by his side, what else can be better?

The street that we now come to is again a busy street somewhere close to where the treasure Island is situated with a narrow sidewalk and a wide road where vehicles are rushing by as if their lives depend on it. Won Bin slowly lets go of his hand, and the rest we continue with brief chats which have no exact meaning. At this moment I’m really wishing if I were her. Whoever that girl is, she’s crap, and she’s completely crappy if she can’t understand that Won Bin is such a give-in! If I were her, I would have let go of the other dude and turned to him, I have all the reasons to do so but one, it’s not me who he loves.

After a long walk, he brings me to some sort of a fancy building and we both find ourselves staring at it, me blank minded, him…I don’t know..I turn to him. “so…this is the karaoke place?”  I ask. He nods. “Yeah…the four of us used to come here…” He turns to me and gives me a slight smile. “Ka Ja!”

I nod and turn towards him, and everything happens in a flash. A crazy Taxi rider turns up and drives into my direction, I freak out by the sudden movement that I step back with a yelp, I accidently trip, and Won Bin, thinking that I got hit by the car and convinced I’d get run over, probably, swiftly moves towards me, and catches me before I could fall…no we both fall together and I hear it, feel it, Won Bin hitting hard on the cement ground. For a minute I can’t figure out what exactly happened, but when I do, when I hear him gasping and when I feel him so close to me, I scream his name and move away. I sit up on the ground and he remains lying there for a split second and looks at me. “Lee Joone, Gwenchana?”

I move my hands around him and help him up on his feet, but I can feel tears welling up in my eyes already. I will never forgive myself if I have hurt him, I will never-

“Won Bin-ah!” I gasp out so loud that I even surprise him, but my panic is even superior as I see a line of crimson flowing down from a side of his forehead. “Won Bin-ah! Oh my god! Blood! BLOOD!”

I see him panicking even more. “Where? On me?”

I squeeze my eyes shut and nod. I can’t look at blood, no…I can’t…
But I have to…he hurt himself trying to save me so I have to help him…

“Lee Joone…don’t open your eyes until I stop it bleeding, do you hear me…?” I nod, and again, shake my head. I’m not Lee Joone right now, I’m the girl that he loves, and also who’s not afraid of wounds and blood…I have to keep my promise, I have to be tough…
Without even asking myself, I slowly open my eyes to see him wiping the blood off his face, but the line flowing down is still slightly there. Seeing the stains of blood on his hanky and on some spots of his shirt, many visions starts flowing into my mind. But I shake my head. No, I have to help him. I have to…

Without wasting any more time, I approach him and take out my own tissue pack from my bag. I see him looking at me, horrified for some reason, but I shake my head and make him sit on the steps to the bar. I gently push back the soft fringes from his forehead, gathered it to a side and clip it with one of my hair pins. I take a deep breath and look at the tiny cut on his fore head which is fresh and painful. I feel my own strength fading, seeing blood always does it to me, but I don’t care but wipe off the blood until it stops. When it does, I go through my bag and find my emergency plaster and stick it, covering the tiny wound. By the time I’m done with the whole process, I’m feeling slightly faintish. Seeing my face, he quickly throws away the blood stained materials and takes my hand.

“Naeul gwenchana?” He asks.

I nod .  “Nae…and you…? Did you hurt your arm?”

He brushes the dust off his long sleeve and shakes his head. “Ani….gwenchana…but you saw…Are you sure you’re okay?”

I smile and take the hairclip off his hair and arrange it with my fingers. “I’m not Lee Joone now remember?”

He rolls his eyes. “Lee Joone you’re taking this too seriously”

I shake my head and open my mouth to speak but another voice interrupts. “Kids? Are you okay?”

A skinny, middle aged man approaches us looking at us with concern. I nod.

“Ahjussi, are you the driver?” Won Bin asks. The man nods. “I’m sorry…I suddenly lost my sight…”

Won Bin and I look at one another, and Won Bin asks. “Ahjussi…shall I take you to a doctor?”

The man shakes his head and smiles. “That’s okay, son, I have a neuritic problem…but is your girlfriend alright?”

I nod. “Gwenchana…but Ahjussi…do you need any help…?”

He shakes his head. “No…this will go away soon, I will have to stay here for a while…you kids go on…”

I smile and look at Won Bin. “Let’s go then…”

Won Bin and I bow to the driver and enter the building.

It’s a rather small place situated on top of a small bar. Even the bar isn’t very crowded today that, without any problem, we walk through it and finally end up inside the karaoke room. The room is slightly dark with a karaoke machine right up in the front and a leather sofa set which is practically taking up half of the room is kept before the TV. Since I’m still slightly faintish remembering Won Bin’s wound, I close my eyes and fall into the sofa seat. I sigh hard. Gosh! I’m glad he will never end up dating me, I’m a wreck! And apparently I’m wrecking him as well! I can’t believe I fell so pathetically like in a drama! And he caught me, and he fell so harshly…

“Lee Joone if you’re faintish, you can lie down-,” Won Bin says, but he looks at me surprised when I gasp hard and reach him.

“What?” He asks, his eyes widened with utter surprise. I take his hand, panicked and squeeze it. “Won Bin does it hurt? Tell me if it does. Okay?”

He gives me a look. “I-gon-mo-ya?” (What is this?)

“Are you sure you’re not hurt? You fell so bad! What if you can’t play the guitar anymore?!?”

He glares at me and pulls his hand away. “I’m alright! What nonsense!”

I widen my eyes. “Are you sure you’re alright? Are you sure you didn’t break anything?”

“Of course I am!”

“But you fell! I’ve seen in dramas where guys fall trying to protect the girl and he breaks his hand and can’t play the guitar!”

He glares at me for a while and says. “You’re so pathetic and I really feel sorry for you…”

I stare back at him, our eyes directed into each other. “I ain’t pathetic…I’m worried…”

He stares back. “Why would you be worried…?” He asks, more mildly, and his tone leaves me speechless. I stare back, my heart in my throat, admiring how beautiful his eyes are. He also has smiling eyes, the kind that I always have had a thing for. Now that I have fallen for him…

“I…” I hear myself say. “I…” Won Bin widens his eyes, that’s when I realize I’m going to say something crazy. I turn away and mutter. “Because I’m her…” I turn to him and smile. “Shouldn’t she be concerned?”

He keeps on staring at me and slowly nods. Tiny sweat beads starts falling on my forehead. Gosh! What the hell am I doing? I almost said it! I almost said I liked him!

With sudden panic arousing in me, I reach the book of songs which is on the stool and go through the pages without really looking at it. “We should sing something”

After a moment, I find myself watching as Won Bin walks to the machine and putting a disk into it. I sigh and look at my watch. The date has almost come to an end, I’m supposed to meet the others at the treasure island at for, it’s three twenty five already. The time has passed by in a flash, my secret date, my first and the last Date with the guy I love has finally come to an end. I’m disappointed, happy and sad at the same time, the mixed feelings are arousing in me, and making it worse, Won Bin sits on the hand rest of the sofa and starts to sing.

I seriously can’t understand why, whoever she is, can’t see how desperately in love he is. I’ve seen his eyes, how he looks like whenever he’s speaking about her. His eyes suddenly starts to glitter, his voice sounds more milder and…it’s as though nothing is more important for him as much as she is…he can’t give up on her…if he loves her that so much, he can’t let her go….And for him, although I’m hurt, although I’ve already failed my challenge to him, I will do my best to not to show. I don’t know if he’d do what I said or not but I will never show it that I’ve failed. I will help him; his happiness will always be mine too…

The next song happens to be one of my old time favourites, and he singing it makes it sound even better, without my awareness I start singing along too. This catches His attention. For a minute he stops singing, I go along thinking that he’s enough of singing but it turns out he’s watching me sing!

As soon as I catch his sight, I stop and turn away. Gosh! I must have sounded like crap that even he couldn’t sing it! That was SO embarrassing!

“Why did you stop singing?” He asks me as I keep staring down at my feet, my face must be of an interesting shade of crimson. I’m seriously so stupid! Why did I have to end up singing along?

“I’m a crappy singer!” I complain. He makes a face. “You are…but don’t stop, you might do better one day…”

I widen my eyes. “You think?”

He nods. “I was a crappy singer too…but more you sing, the more you’re not…”

I shake my head. “I won’t sing though…so I won’t”

He walks to the machine and puts the song from the beginning. “Then sing now, you don’t have to be perfect”

I sigh and look at him longingly. He’s acting just too well, pretending that I’m her, and what hurts me the most is I’m not her…no matter how much I wish I were, I will never be her. But since I agreed to be her. I have to go on pretending until the end of the date.

I reach out and take the mike. I’m the crappiest singer that I’ve ever known! Seriously, he’s gonna hate me after this.

 Watching the lyrics on the screen, I begin to sing along. My voice sounds like my grandma singing,, and as though he’s trying to cover up my annoying voice, he takes the other mike and sings along with me. For the next two minutes we’re singing together, and I close my eyes as I do.  I feel as though I’m being flown off to a completely different world, to a place where everything’s perfect, a place where everything is fair, a place where I own him, a place where I can never be in. The whole world starts to twirl around, and I begin to hear only his voice over mine like a lullaby of an angel. It’s good to hear him singing this way without his normal loud music, I can’t remember hearing anything even better. He’s truly in love now, I can hear it in his voice, I can easily catch it in his tone and I feel it reaching the furthest point of my heart. It’s nothing close to what I heard the first day he sang before me. It’s a wonder that he has changed so fast, it’s a wonder that things can be changed so rapidly…

When the song is over, I open my eyes and sigh. I have failed…I might be tough, but before him, I’m hopeless, I don’t think I will ever make it up to him after hurting him so much the other night…and worse of all, I’m hurt, I’m hurt not because someone else is confessing to me while I’m in love, but because he will soon confess to me pretending I’m somebody else. But I won’t show…I can’t show that I failed, he will take me as a loser and he will never confess to her thinking I’m hurt in the way that he said before. I purse my lips and look at my watch.

“It’s three forty five…I have to go to the Treasure Island at four…”

Won Bin looks at me, his face holding the most unreadable expression ever.

 I smile. “Your date with her ends here…mianne…but remember what I told you?”

He purses his lips and looks at me. “Do we have to do this?”

I glare at him. “Why are you asking such a question?”

“Eh?”

I smile. “I’m her…remember?

He rolls his eyes. “You’re so annoying you know that?”

“Ara~ But there’s no Lee Joone here…now I’m her, the girl you like. You said you will confess at the end of the date…so do…”

He sighs. “Okay…but only to show that Lee Joone has failed”

I shake my head. “No she has not…try her…”

He comes closer and sits far from me. I make a face. “Why? I’m that girl so feel comfortable!”

He sighs and comes closer. A cold feeling rushes through my veins as I begin to feel his warmth so close to me. My heart begins to burn as I try my best to not to show my pain, but I made a promise, and this is the end of my secret date, so something has to happen…

“Okay…here I go...”

 I nod and turn to him. “Say everything you want to tell her…”

He nods and takes a deep breath before he focuses his eyes into mine. I gulp. That girl is crazy, simply crazy to not to love those eyes.

“You see…I’ve wanted to tell you this for a long long time…”

I raise my eyebrows. “That’s the oldest beginning of a confession, try something different” I comment.

He sighs. “Okay…how about…”

He turns to me and bears his eyes into mine. “I think I like you….”

I cover my mouth and start to laugh. Seriously! Just now he looked like a wined up doll!
“What’s funny?” He asks, slightly laughing himself. I stop laughing and say. “That’s unnatural Won Bin, Seriously!”

He lowers his head and again looks up. “Listen…I...I think…I”   his eyes bears into mine again and continues to stare at me. I gulp hard and ask in a low voice. “What is it…Won Bin…?”

He too, gulps and stares into my eyes even more. I feel a tight lump forming in my throat and butterflies starts flying in my stomach. My blood runs cold seeing nothing but his gentle eyes, glittering with wonder. I can’t wreck this…He loves her so much and I really can’t wreck this for him again…

“I think I have fallen for you…”

I widen my eyes, trying my best to act surprised. The one he came up with is even lamer, but can’t help it…this is taking too long...And it’s hurting me more…

“Won Bin…you have…?” I ask, putting up my best act. “Won Bin…I think I have fallen for you too…”

For a minute, we stare at each other, and as though it’s a set up candid camera scene, we both burst out laughing. We laugh so hard for a few seconds, and when I’m done, I take a long breath and turn to him. “Okay…okay…let’s imagine that you confessed to her…what will you do next…?”

He presses his lips into a straight line and lifts his shoulders indicating it to me that he doesn’t know. I nod and think of what I will have expected, and after a long sigh, I say. “I think…well…in dramas this is what they do…they confess…and they kiss…”

He widens his eyes. “Kiss?”

I nod, feeling weird that I’m actually expecting him to do so, and I say. “You really don’t have to do that…I don’t want to…well…we can skip it-,”

“No…” he says suddenly. I turn to him although I’m practically frozen and widen my eyes. “Eh?”

He shakes his head. “If you skip that part, I will lose, and you will be cheating…we can’t…”

“But Won Bin…”

He raises his eyebrows. “Why? Afraid?”

I sigh. I have to give in….even though there’s a minor possibility of me dying here in a heart attack, I seriously can’t cheat or fail. I sigh and look at him. “Okay….then…”

He smiles, and along with the smile he starts moving towards me, his eyes bearing into mine. I gulp and stare back, but deep inside, I want it. I have to complete my secret date, and it will be only completed with…

My heart starts beating rapidly as he moves closer and closer to me, his hand pressing against mine on the sofa seat, his breath slightly touching my skin. For a moment, I think I’m about to die…I can’t bear two things at once…I can’t bear the loud voice in my heart, screaming for it, screaming for me to make a move, screaming for me to steal that blissful kiss from him for one last time…but my mind, my body, my lips doesn’t want it…this kiss is not meant for me…I can’t accept it…it is only meant for that special girl…the lucky girl who has succeeded to win his heart…

More and more closer he gets, closing the seconds long gap between us and my eyes go blind. Without even my awareness, my mind gives in. I can’t believe that I do, but the rush of heat on my skin, the coldness in my veins, everything and also the heat of the moment convinces me. This is my last time…I can’t not accept it; this is my last time…

I close my eyes and I too, move towards him. I’m now unaware of the world, unaware of what’s happening around me, all I know is that it’s going to happen, a wonder, a magic…

I now practically feel his warmth on my face, tingling on my skin, making my heart stop and freezing the blood in my veins. Goosebumps rises as his hand slips into mine, I stay still an await the collision…I stay still and wait for his lips to touch mine…and slowly I feel it, his lips so close, slightly touching me…

An ear pitching music begins to blast inside the room, and even before I can make up my mind, we both hop back in aghast. Blood begins to rush into my face. Gosh I almost did it! I almost gave in-!

But the annoying music, the perfect moment, it’s ruined…it’s all gone…

I sigh and pull my phone out of my pocket, cursing whoever who’s calling from the other side oblivious to the fact that by the call, my perfect kiss was wrecked.

“Hello?” I say into the phone, glancing at Won Bin who’s staring upwards, his face also completely crimson. I must be looking even worse, I mean, I almost gave in!

“Hey noona!” Jae Jin’s voice sounds from the other end. “Aren’t you coming?”

I roll my eyes. They ruined my kiss to ask me that. “Of course I am! I’m on the way!”

“Okay!” Jae Jin says cheerfully. “Just in case you are not…anyway! I’ll see you soon then!”

“Sure….see you...” I answer, and the line goes dead. I sigh and slip the phone back into my pocket, feeling rather disappointed that I couldn’t even get my last, desired kiss from the man I love. I look down at my hand and say. “We have to go…They’re waiting…”

He continues to stare upwards for a minute, and finally turns to me. “We’ll go…”

I lay a hand on his arm. He turns to me, surprised by my touch. “Before that let’s consider it done….did I win?”

He stares into my face and asks. “Are you upset? Hurt?”

I smile. “Nope…only disappointed that you’re the very worse in confessing…did I make it up to you?”

He looks down and nods. “Guess you did…” then he looks up. “But still not tough…”

I make a face. “I am tough! Omo! Remember I saw you bleed and I didn’t faint! I AM tough!”

He sighs. “Okay okay you are…you win, happy?”

I clasp my hands together and smile. “Marvellous! So you’re going to confess to her right?”

He slowly nods. “I guess I will…”

“Good…then my work here is done!” I say and put my bag on my shoulder. “Ka ja!”

 

A moment later, when we’re back on the road, Won Bin suddenly says to me. “You said your work is done right?”

I look at him. “Well…since I’m done making up to you…yeah, it’s done…”

He gives me a mocking smile. “Not quite, Lee Joone…”

I widen my eyes, surprised. “Mo-wae-yo?” (What is it?)

He looks at me urgently. “Minhwan is going out with Ha Ra.”

I stop walking and stare at him in unison. “Minhwan? Jinja?”

He nods. “Nae. You’ll see when you’re there…”

I remain the same, frozen on the road watching him go. Minhwan? That tiny little childlike Minhwan? He’s dating Ha Ra…? He’s actually…dating…?

And then again. Where the heck is that Won Bin going?

“Yah Oh Won Bin! O-di-ga?”

He turns to me. “You go the rest on your own…I have to go somewhere….”

“Won’t you be there? Later?”

He nods. “I won’t take long…just go…”

I nod and sigh. There…my secret date…it’s finally over…and there won’t be another anymore. But I’m not sad, nor am I disappointed. I did it…I convinced him, so why will I be? I did what has to be done, my work are over…

Not yet…

But seriously? Minhwan? He’s still sixteen! How can he go around dating a noona? I should go and have a look…

But then again, they’re planning an obvious birthday party and I can’t upset them by ruining it…true, I know what they’re up to…but I will keep it to myself and act as though I really am surprised.

 

It doesn’t take long for me to arrive before the Treasure Island, and when I’m there, I find the door closed. I smile to myself. This must be a part of their surprise plan, and it seriously is adorably lame! And surely Won Bin is not involved in it. I can practically imagine the comment that he will give…

I take a deep breath and push open the door. The staircase is completely dark, they have turned the lights off for their little surprise, but I slowly step down since I’ve climbed up and down this stairs million times, I’m so used to it so I don’t trample and fall.

When I’m in the ground floor, I find it completely darkened out with no sign of anybody’s presence, but I stand and wait for somebody to turn the lights on and sing happy birthday…but although I wait for it so long, nobody ever turns up. I bite my lower lip. Is this really some crazy prank on me? I’m not sure…

I take a deep breath and start calling out for them.

“Ha Ra? Minan? Jae Jin? Anybody?”

But I get no reply, I only hear my own voice over and over again until there’s nothing.

Okay…now this is seriously a sick joke. I mean, they have to be here, they just HAVE to! If not why would they call me here?

“Jae Jin? Minan? God! I know you’re here!” I call out as loudly as I can, but no good seems to happen, I only hear my own voice. Okay…now this is seriously scary…I have been all alone in the Treasure Island before, but now, it kind of scares me…the door was unlocked, nobody seems to be here…what if there’s some thief or-or a mass murderer inside? What if…they find me shot dead or stabbed in the practice room…?

My heart starts pounding in horse speed. They can’t be doing this to me…they can’t…

I take a deep breath. No…there’s nobody in here…no pirates, no robbers, no murderers, just me…and Won Bin will turn up any moment…

I walk to the switches and turn on the lights. The room sinks into a much brighter world, and I realize,

There’s nobody in the room, nobody, but a folded paper on one of the stools. I walk over and pick it up.

“Joonie noona, come to the Memphis, we’ll be there” It says in neat handwriting whih I assume as Jae Jin’s. I sigh and moan loudly as long as I want since none of them are around and fall into the sofa. Seriously! This creeps! They called me when I was in middle of something, and then ask me to come all the way to the Treasure Island, and now this? They should have told me that, hour ago!

I remain in the sofa for few long seconds and get up on my feet. I can’t ditch them, no, not after they have planned this, whatever it is, they must be waiting for me! I have to go…I have to be there…after all I did to them, I can’t hurt them anymore…

So I start walking all the way to the bus stop hurriedly, not wanting to keep them waiting more, and soon I get into the first bus which comes around, without thinking much. During the ride, I replay all the things that happened during the day so far, and I feel it, I have never been happier in my life. I’ve never seen Won Bin speaking that so much. I was…okay, not really into him earlier when he used to live this zombified moody life, but…it must be after he met this girl that now he has become so pleasant to talk with, and laughs a lot. Not mentioning the fact that he also smiles quite often, which is really good, and now only I realize, I love him not only because of him taking care of me, but because I have all the reasons to do so. And I won’t stop, no, not even though I just lost my very last chance to receive a kiss from him, not even if he’s about to confess to his girl now, I won’t stop.

The ride to the Memphis doesn’t take me long on the bus as much as it takes me to walk to it or to go on my bicycle. When I arrive before it’s crowded entrance, I find myself feeling slightly nervous. Thinking that whatever they’re planning was at the Treasure Island, I was fine, because it would have been only a small surprise party that I will have really enjoyed, but Memphis? What can they be planning there? I know Hong Gi obviously was planning something that he texted me to see him there, but what I really had in my mind that moment was a small date or a dinner out celebrating my birthday with him…but both of them asking me to come here, a college bar-union, what on earth could they have planned here?

I take a deep breath and start moving in through the crowd into the Memphis, ignoring the weird feeling arousing within me. But seriously? This HAS to be something simple and small, I mean, at the Memphis? They can’t do anything crazy here at the Memphis in front of a whole crowd? I’d be a complete laughing matter here?

But when I enter the usually brightened up hall, I find my assumptions being completely wrong, and my expectations completely right, because instead of it being bright and, well, lightened up, it’s all darkened and, well…yeah, completely darkened that I can hardly even find my way! I see the arriving crowd being dumbstruck by the sudden blackout in the bar, some are even complaining and I feel my blood rushing into my face. Whatever they’re doing, I’m sure, I’m darn right sure that I will never be able to face any one of the college students here ever again-

Making me jump out of my skin, nearly giving me an under aged heart attack, the room blasts off with loud music which is coming from the stage before me. The hall suddenly brightens up with blinding stage lights and there I see them, my pirates and the terminators, both playing on the stage, playing the loudest intro that I’ve ever heard in my life! For a moment, I’m completely dumbfounded; I did expect something like this to be frank, but I never imagined they’re this so crazy to do something like this! I’m sure my jaw has fallen slack, my eyes must be wide like satellite dishes, I must be looking like a stupid wreck, but surely none in the bar are concerned on me, they must be wondering hell to earth what the hell is going on, on the stage!

When it ends, relief sweeps through my veins like a splash of cold water, feeling even more nervous, I slowly step through the crowd to the front, and my eyes starts to skim through the faces on the stage, remembering that Won Bin went away leaving me to go to the treasure Island alone…maybe he was going to come here…

But my heart falls when my eyes find no trace of him, and it worries me. Where on earth did he go to? Is he ready to confess to her already? Is it why he went away? Am I losing him already?

And it’s Jae Jin who interrupts my thoughts by screaming my name on the stage. “Joonie noona! Sengil chuukae!!!” and with that, a modernized rock version of Happy Birthday starts being played, and many voices starts to sing making it sound beautiful as ever before. True, the music is loud and different, but the voices singing and wishing me for a happy birthday just simply bringing tears into my eyes. I knew that they will be doing something like this, but now that I’m seeing this, it really gives me a wonderful feeling, really tells me that they do care, and really gives me a reason to love them back. It takes me a few minutes to realize that even Hong Gi is not even there on the stage although I’m hearing him sing, it’s at the end of the singing that I’m seeing him walking through those who are on the stage, with a cake in his hands.

And I swear, I swear I feel like I want to die at this moment…these kids…they have gone through so much for me and I have done nothing for them…

As the singing gradually ends, the people around starts to cheer, and I see Hong Gi to the end of the stage towards the steps, but I proceed towards him. The members of the two bands gathers around me and starts cheering. I wipe the tears rolling down my face with the back of my hand. I hear Jong Hun’s voice behind me. “Blow on the candle Lee Joone…make a wish…”

I smile, focusing my eyes on the cheerfully burning candle which is kept on the white cream of the cake and slowly I lean closer and close my eyes. Only one wish is there in my head, that one wish which has been running in my mind for almost a month, that one wish which will never come true but I will always wish for…and I gently blow on the candle, the guys around me cheers happily. I smile widely and look around to see their happily smiling faces which makes me feel happier than they are. They could have hurt me, they could have made me cry but I didn’t fall, I didn’t break because I knew, more than anything else I knew that they will, one day, somehow make it up to me…and somehow, they have.

“You guys are crazy you know that? Now I will never be able to walk in the streets!” I complain, half laughing. Minan makes a face. “Wae? Was it bad?”

I laugh. “No! Kiddo! The girls who like you people will come after me to eat me alive!”

And before even I can make out what is happening, Jae Jin turns to me and hugs me tightly, and I’m glad that all the guys are around me, circling us. if not, I’m sure I will be the next to receive a brick shot on the road. I will be a practical road kill.

“Miannae…noona…I never meant to hurt you…” He mutters into my ear. I ignore the tears which are rolling down my face and shake my head. “I know you didn’t…gwenchana…” I pull away and mess up his hair. “You know I love you right?” He nods with a smile. “I’m not sure about me but I know that you’re crazily in love…” He whispers. My heart freezes. “Moe~?”

He shakes his head and turn away. I’d really have gone to speak to him but I can’t when I suddenly get caught in a group hug by Minan, and Jong Hun. I silently hug back wearing my biggest smile ever, but what Jae Jin said still rings in my head…but which one does he mean…?

I slowly shake my head, trying to stop myself from coming into crazy assumptions. He knows nothing…he can’t know anything…I never showed…he must be meaning Hong Gi…

It’s only him he knows that I’m in love with after all…

 

 

Won Bin has never been good of a person to pick a present for a girl, and every time he does, for Hyun-a or his sister, he’d end up with something stupid. But only this once, he’s satisfied of what he has thought of buying for her. He has never seen her with one ever since he first saw her, and as for a girl, she must be having one, so he decides to buy her a chain.

He has never done this before, shopping for girls jewellery because neither Hyun-a nor Yoo Bin were short of having any, they had everything that he was always put into the trouble of thinking what to buy, finally ending up with something really stupid for them. He doesn’t think that one can have many of the same items though girls won’t mind having many as rings as they want although they have only ten fingers. He’s not very familiar with any jewellery shops either so he enters the very first one he sees at Myeondong, hoping to buy whatever which catches his eye and quickly run off to the Memphis as he was asked to come by a message sent to him by Jong Hun few minutes ago. It’s when he enters that e realizes that the shop he’s in is actually a specialized platinum jewellery store, but he doesn’t care. He’s a man with money and a man with parents who never cares for what he’s wasting money on. The stores in the Myeondong city is only meant for those who are rich enough to pay what the price tags offer, a place where the poor are never heard of going to. But the Oh’s will only and always go there, for them, it’s the only place where they can find everything they desire.

Won Bin finds himself walking through the silvery glittering display cabinets which are possessed with various platinum jewellery starting from the tiniest ear stud to expensive platinum necklaces, the kind that his mother wears for special occasions. His eyes glides over them, none of it really catching his eyes. This is actually boring for him, he’s a constant complainer when he’s out shopping with his sister, now he can’t complain to himself, he goes on moving his eyes over the items waiting for the perfect one to catch his attention.

And it’s not long before he does.

It’s a pair of tiny cat pendants, they’re placed face to face, forming a heart in between, and are embossed with very fine detail with a tiny gem placed as the eye of it, one with a blue eye, the other one pink. He smiles slightly while staring at it with pure satisfaction. Perfect…he thinks; his eyes still placed on them. If he buys both of them, although she’s dating Hong Gi, he can secretly be coupled up with her…he can secretly have her made his….

 

 

 

After the cake was cut, and also after it being given to those who are willing to taste it, I find myself sitting among the members of the treasure, all are here, but really worrying me, Won Bin still hasn’t arrived. I tried calling him a few times, still not getting any reply but I stop when I catch Jae Jin’s attention and turn back to the table which has only light food and frizzy drinks since I just declared it a none alcohol day. It’s when I see Minhwan and Ha Ra sitting together reminds me of what Won Bin said to me when he left before... Watching Minhwan for a few minutes, I almost get a heart attack! Seriously! He’s an outrageous flirter! And Ha Ra’s face is seriously disgusting me. God! Does she have to look so corny right before us?

I lean forward and clear my throat, gaining everybody’s attention immediately. I turn to Minhwan and smile. “Minan honey…can you go find where Soo Young noona is…?”

Minhwan glances at Ha Ra and back at me before he smiles. “Nae…noona…”

I see him glancing at Ha Ra again before he walks away. I sigh. Gosh! Won Bin has been right! Those two are way too over it, and that Minhwan for heaven’s sake? Doesn’t he get it that he’s too young for her?

I see Jong Hun giving me a weird look but I only give him a slight smile before turning to Ha Ra. “You and I need to talk”

And soon she and I find ourselves in a lonely corner of the bar, me, watching her as she speaks.

“Come on” Joonie! Can’t the kid love?” She asks in the most annoying nasal voice that I’ve ever heard her using ever since I met her. I raise an eyebrow. “Yes…he can…” I say, she stops and looks at me. I move closer to her and say. “…love someone of his age…”

Ha Ra makes a face and pushes me away slightly. “Why are you so against dating someone younger? It’s not even against the law! It’s legal!”

I drop my hands. “Ha Ra just imagine…you and Minhwan in another twenty years…wouldn’t you be even older? Wouldn’t you be looking so old and matured while he’s looking so young and handsome…wouldn’t it be horrible?”

She folds her hands on her chest. “That won’t even happen, we’re only two years different!”

I give her a lopsided smile. “Yeah…like it’s a short period of time…”

Ha Ra makes a face. “Lee Joone you don’t die if you date someone younger, why are you always like this…Omo! Even you’re dating someone younger than you!”

I nearly jump out of my skin, and nearly choke on my breath. “No I do not!” I say, remembering it that Won Bin is actually a month younger than me. But it’s not like I’m dating him! We’re just good friends, very very good friends who are helping each other although I do go on secret dates, but yeah, we’re not, we never will-

“Hong Gi is March born!” Ha Ra points out, and relief rushes through me. They don’t know…of course they don’t! I’ve been keeping it to myself, like really treasuring it!

I raise an eyebrow. “Ha Ra, that’s like few days or a month away…not two years!”

Ha Ra sighs. “Gosh! Lee Joone! What’s wrong with-?” She begins to ask, but another voice interrupts her. I sigh, roll my eyes and turn around to see Jae Jin behind me.

“Now what?”

He smiles. “Noona you’ve got to come…”

I give Ha Ra a warning look and go after Jae Jin. “What is it Jae Jin-ah?” I ask.

“Look at the stage…” He whispers. I follow him and turn around. A slight gasp escapes my lips, and my insides start to burn and melt away. I can’t love him…I really can’t…But does he have to be so beautiful before me?

On the stage are FT FOUR, dressed in all white and standing in a perfect formation, looking as perfect as ever. After my TREASURE, I always thought they were the best looking band on BOTB, and here they prove it, they really are good looking as a band.

“Lee Joone?” Hong Gi’s voice suddenly sounds on the mike, my blood drains from my face and I look shyly at Jae Jin. He nods, and the whole audience in the bar starts searching for me. God! What is he doing? I thought they were done! I thought they are finished with ruining my social life and now this?

“Lee Joone…yo-gi-ro-wa!” (Come here) He says again into the mike and my insides starts to melt like butter on a pan. I close my eyes and breath hard. Okay…now think this is a dream…a very very bad dream and slowly walk to him…

And without even my awareness, I start to walk towards the stage. My heart beat rises strangely and my skin goes cold with embarrassment as I walk through those who are here watching them and waiting for who the heck Lee Joone is to turn up. I feel many eyes on me, I hear many saying things behind me, I know they’re considering this the weirdest thing ever to happen here in the Memphis…

When I’m up close by the stage, Hong Gi gives me his biggest smile and winks, making all those who are around scream. I only starre at him, unbelieving this, not comprehending what is happening to me….

And soon before I can believe what is happening, Hong Gi again yells into the mike. “Lee Joone…who made my life shine with her lovely smile every second we meet…this is for you…”

My jaw falls slack. He is NOT singing a song for me…

But apparently he is….

The music starts, the lightening in the bar turns up brightly and the whole place is brightened up with various colored lights, the spotlight is on Hong Gi. He’s not playing the guitar, instead of him he has found another dude to do it, he’s up on his feet and as the soft guitar begins, he starts to sing.

When I heard him for the first time, I was thinking ‘Is this imprinting?’ The next time I heard him, my mind was like, ‘Am I falling for him?’ But now, when I’m hearing him sing the most adorable song with the most adorable lyrics ever, I’m thinking and wishing if I can really make up myself to love him, I’m wishing if I can sincerely give him what he expects from me, but I’ve gone so far, too far for Won Bin although I mean nothing to him, that I don’t feel it. I don’t feel Hong Gi’s singing in my heart, I can’t feel him touching me with his voice but a slight pain in me, knowing that I can’t do it, I can’t make him feel happy anymore, I can’t make him laugh anymore, I can’t be with him any longer because my heart has gone for somebody else, somebody else who doesn’t even care for me.

But as always, his voice sounds perfect, beautiful, and the adorable lyrics and his childish movements makes it even better and right now if I can change my mind at this very moment, I will and I will begin to love him as much as I thought I did. But apparently I can’t. Watching him there singing for me on the stage, sincerely giving out his love for me, I’m not in a state to receive it and accept it, and even if I do receive and accept it, I have no power to return that love for him.

The song goes on, later on being joined by Seung Hyun’s back up singing and I wait, listening and watching them, my heart paining so badly. He’s trying so much to get a hold of me, he’s sincere, I can feel it in his singing, I can see it in his eyes, but I can’t let it reach my heart no matter how much I try to push it through. The love, the feelings I have for Won Bin are so strong that are shielding my heart, not letting anyone else to enter…how can I ever help it? How can I ever let him through?

At the end of the song, he begins to climb down the steps towards me, and the pain inside me begins to get stronger. I can see his eyes only focused on me and they are filled with something different, an expression which I can never understand. He keeps the make aside on the stage and moves towards me, I can hear the crowd murmuring behind me, I know what they must be thinking, and Hong Gi…he can’t do this to me…I know he likes me, I know that he’s ready to do anything for me, but he really truly can’t do this to me…if it’s what he’s about to do, right in front of all those who are in the bar. I step back, my eyes widened, my breathing malfunctioning and my whole world starts twirling around. He can’t do it…no…it’s for Won Bin to do now…not for him…it’s for Won Bin to do for me…

But when he’s right before me, I have absolutely nothing to do but stare at him in utter fear. If he does it here, before everybody else, I swear I will never come to the Memphis again, I will never…

But he doesn’t stop. He sees how horrified I am…I know he does, but he doesn’t care, no, he seems as though he can’t even see I’m afraid, but he moves closer and closer to me….closer until I can so badly feel his presence, closer until I can feel his breath, closer until I can feel his scent, closer until I can hear a tiniest whisper from him, and making my heart shred into thousand million pieces, he mutters. “Lee Joone…I’m going to confess…”

He moves even closer and I step back. “I like you Lee Joone…I like everything about you…please let me do it…please let me love you…”

I step back once more, but he doesn’t stop. Instead, he lays his hands on my shoulder making my heart stop beating…he just did it, he just confessed to me…and he just put me in a state that I can’t bring myself out from. For the first time in my life, someone confessed to me…for the first time in my life, there’s a man who’s truly in love with me…and now, suddenly, I feel as though I can’t turn my back on him…I feel as though…

The shield around my heart has broken, and it’s begun to let him through, pushing Won Bin aside, and it hurts me inside. I can’t push him away…it’s him whom I want; it’s him whom I love…how can I push him away?
But Hong Gi…I have to let him through, I have to find a place for him in my heart…he loves me, he sincerely loves me, and he confessed to me…how can I turn my back on him? Hurting him in the process and love someone who doesn’t love me back?

Before even I could think of a way to stop him, I feel him moving even closer. My heart beats harder and harder until it’s not beating at all, and my mind goes blank…I remember nothing, not anymore because all I can feel now is him.

I feel him moving even closer, and all I can do is staring at him, watching him as the look on his eyes changes gradually, the more he moves closer and I can’t breathe anymore, and he whispers. “Lee Joone…I’m going to kiss you right now…I’m going to let you know how much I love you…”

With that, he moves even closer, and before even I can step back even further from him, he cups my face in both his hands and moves even closer, and finally closes the gap between us.

The feather light touch of his lips on mine is what changes it all. The soft tenderness he gives me as he does overwhelms me, I try my best to not to give in as he presses his lips on mine on and on, trying to convince me to give in. i close my eyes tight and remain holding back my own desire to explore him, I can’t. This kiss, I know he’s meaning it for me…but I can’t…

When he slowly glides his hand down my arm, leaving a trail of coldness on my skin, and pulls me even closer to him, I lose my capability to breath, everything in my mind loses place and everything goes blank until in the end, I’m convinced…oblivious to my own complicated state of mind, I finally give in.

Slowly as though I’m afraid that anything could go wrong, I part my lips and begin to return the kisses that he’s giving me, matching the force and gentleness of it just the same. I can feel him now all over me, overtaking me and all my past memories begin to fade away. Just now he’s all that I know, he’s all that I can sense touch and feel, and nothing else matters.

I can hear the crowd cheering around me, the sound is ear pitching and unbearable but I can’t think of anything else, I’m busy decoding the sweet messages that he’s sending through our blissful kiss…
This is a real confession then…this is true and real, I can feel it by the tingling sensation that the passionate kiss is giving me. It’s all over my body, running through my veins, running in my cells, whispering to me over the sweet pecking sound, all over and over again. “He confessed Lee Joone, He confessed to you…”

And for the moment, nothing else matters….