“Ah! Seriously!” I scream with face covered with my hands, putting a pause every now and then on what I’m doing just now. I can’t take it; I can’t take the fact that my mind is completely up-side-down because of what happened just around two hours ago, right on the stage, right in front of an audience of five hundred people, which will soon be aired on international TV, and surely, it will catch everybody’s attention…god! How am I going to live through this!

“You bloody bloody BLOODY JERK!!!” I moan, dropping my hands and start stuffing my stuff into my bag, the anger spreading throughout in me like a forest fire. “Why the hell did you do THAT!?! People saw it! My aunt will see it! My oppa will see it! And HONG GI! DANG he saw it for REAL! AH!”

But Won Bin is completely unaffected like nothing happened. And then again, he must be used to it; he must have done it to million girls before but me!?! It was…it was apparently my first…gosh! He just ruined it! Wasted it! And he doesn’t even care!!!!

I am NEVER going to let him be….never….

“Do you know that you’re going to die for doing this?” I ask, finally getting on my feet with the dress in a cover, and I turn to him with the most cold look on my face, which he apparently doesn’t notice. He’s busy concentrating on some paper, seated in a sofa with his coat thrown to a side and sleeves rolled up with the top buttons undone, claiming that it’s ‘hot’ in the ‘air conditioned’ room. I seriously have no idea what’s wrong with him. I mean, can’t he really see all the chaos I’m making here? What is he?

“Ah! Seriously Frowny! You’re DYING! For doing this-!” I start yelling, but immediately stop when he gives me an icy cold glance. “Is it that big to make such a fuss?” He asks in a calm voice that I’ve never heard him use before. I make a face. He just ruined it all and he could be so calm even after that?

I walk to the dressing table and collect my stuff before speaking to him again. “Do you know that you just used up a privilege that I’ve been keeping for someone else?”

He carries on with his gloomy look. “Who? Soulmate?”

I harshly throw in my hairpins into the front pocket as though everything round me are my rivals, but apparently the biggest rival I have now is him.

“Who else? Do you know that I’VE been keeping THAT chance of being the FIRST one to kiss me for him, Hong gI, And you ruined it! You simply ruined it!”

“How unfortunate…” He says shortly, turning his eyes back to the paper. “How unfortunate I am to be the first one to kiss you…”

“Then why!?!” I ask back.

“It was in the script”

I shudder. The script? He kissed me, he did it for real just because it was in the freaking script? Oh for heaven’s sake!!

“I’d have been better if it was Jong hun, or…Jae jin.. or-or even Minan! But you? Of all the people you?!?”

“Just, do you have to make such a big fuss over it?” He asks again, still having his eyes on whatever he’s reading.

“Of course I have to! It’s my FIRST KISS that you just wasted! Do you know how important that is for me?”

Now he looks at me, I throw my bag away, being done with collecting my stuff and sit on a saloon chair. “What?” I ask.

“Nothing…just remembered…I had mine when I was twelve…”

I widen my eyes. “No! Seriously?”

He nods. “It was a friend of my noona…she thought I was cute…” He says, and returns to the paper. I close my eyes and slap on my forehead. Aish! What the heck am I doing? He’s just showing how much of a loser I am! God! This freak! He had his first kiss at the age of twelve and me…eighteen? Oh how disappointing! I am going to hate this guy forever!

We’re still in our suite, after the announcement of the winners, we made it to the top six, and got the best performance award of the day, which is a massive glass structure that Jae Jin and Minan had to carry it to Won Bin’s jeep while Jong Hun is out to settle some groupe stuff for which he doesn’t require my help, which leaves the two of us here, cleaning the suite. Won Bin, as always, is contributing with absolutely nothing while I clean up the suite like my whole life depends on it. He’s completely so irritating, seriously! Now that he has talked me into this, he should help me out with this…

…and only I know that this will be my last few hours in the band with them…

I know I changed my mind, but I truly can’t help it, I can’t remain in the band…it’s just too much of work for me to work with them one minute and run to the Memphis the next, I mean, I’d be ending up on my knees by the end of the day if I do so! Plus, the manager of the Memphis won’t like it if I hop into two jobs at once, and I will never be able to manage them both…I will either flunk it at the bar, or ruin the band, and I really can’t do it to them. I remember how depressed Won bin was the other day, he has been going through a lot after I left, but that was because he had only one day before the round. But now, if I break the news tonight, it will leave he and jong hun plenty of time to find a better replacement than that y mouthed someone, they’re smart, and they will obviously pull it through, unlike me, I will never live though all the issues that I have this way…but I can’t tell them. I know how concerened they are about me…okay, except for frowny who’d rather frown at me as long as he wants to, the other three are. And I’d be bothering them if they ever know. I shouls keep it away from them and only tell them that I can’t stay…

It takes me around twenty minutes to pack up all our stuff each member’s separately into their bags, put the guitars back in and settle everything down before I fall into a chair once again, exhausted. Gosh! If this exhausts me only in one night, I’d be half dead if I really do two jobs at once!

“Guys, we’re going!” I hear Jong Hun’s voice from a distance and I feel something poking on my hand, that’s when I realize that I’ve actually fallen into a ten minutes long sleep. Gosh! My exhaustion is pretty much exhausting itself!

“Get up, we’re going” Says Won Bin, moving towards the guitars as Jong hun enters the suite in a hurried movement. Then his eyes immediately lands on me as I get up on my feet like a half dead woman.

“Lee Joone…you okay…?”

I nod, but in fact, I’m not sure if I can find my feet, because even though I’m up, my eye lids are extremely heavy that I can hardly stay up right.

And through the door I see Minan slipping in, he helps Won Bin by carrying Jae Jin’s guitar, and soon I find myself sauntering down the underground car park, half asleep. I just simply throw in the bags of the guys into the rear of the jeep and lean on it, feeling like I have thousand pounds of something placed on top of my head.

“…The dress…Won bin better take it home, we can’t have it damaged…” Jong hun says, and that’s when I remember it…

The dress…I left it in the suite…oh god!

“Jong Hun!” I say in panic, straightening up. “The dress! I think I forgot it! It’s in the suite!”

“It’s-?” He starts saying, I wave him off and start running towards the lift. Gosh! I’m so stupid! How could have I left it there?

I hear Jong Hun’s voice behind me, but I ignore him. No, it can’t happen! The dress has to be returned! It has to be given back safely! It’s Jong Hun’s money!

I run and run all the way back to the lift, and by the time I’m there, I’m completely so dead. I intake long breaths, but it’s just as impossible. My feet are so numb and the fatigue is too much that I press the lift to the second floor and lean over the wall beside it until it arrives. But through my narrowed teary eyes, I see a red-brown haired tall figure approaching me. Just then, the lift comes down.

“Lee Joone?” Sounds a familiar voice. I turn to the right to meet Hong Gi’s concerened gaze. “Lee joone? Are you okay? What are you doing here?” He asks, and looks closer into my ugly face. “Gosh you look so pale, you must be tired!”

I shake my head and speak through my deep breaths. “No….the suite….the dress…”

“The dress? What dress? Lee Joone you look sick, you need to take a rest!”

I shake my head again. “No…I need to take it…the dress…”

Hong Gi slowly touches my face. “You left the dress from the performance at the suite? Is that it?”

I nod. “I have to…take it…”

“Where are your members…are they still here?”

I manage a nod.

“Do they know it that you left it?”

I nod again.

That makes him shout in a way that I’ve never heard before. “What? They know and they send you like this!?! Aish! What idiots-!”

“Lee Joone” Says another deep, yet very familiar voice that hong Gi stops cursing and turns to his side, my eyes following after his, eventually landing on the greatest masterpiece of god, Won Bin, who is standing before us, breathing heavily. His frowning eyes immediately lands on Hong gi, and returns to me. “Go back, I’ll get it…”

I shake my head. “No…I’m…the one….who left it there…” I mutter breathlessly. “I can…go…”

Suddenly I see him charging towards me, it scares me that I move even closer into Hong Gi’s arms. But he’s even faster that in a flash, his hand moves across to me and takes my hand. “Just go to the jeep and stay until I come!” He says, trying to pull me towards him. I try to pull myself back, feeling uncomfortable which brings me more and more into hong Gi’s warm grasp, and since hong gi’s a lot more concerned in me than he is, he objects on his orders instead of me.

“Let her be” He says calmly in his cherry blossom voice and I’m surprised when Won Bin’s hand slowly slips down. Hong Gi too, without being too close to me, stands beside me with his hand tightly wrappes around on my arm. He now speaks to Won Bin.

“You take the dress, I’ll give her a ride home…she’s too tired…”

“Hong gi-ah…I’m fine…” I say, not wanting to go with him just for tonight. I have to go home with Won Bin, no matter if he likes it or not, because only to him, I can break the news personally since the others are already convinced I’m here for permenant work, which I’m not…even he still doesn’t know, and I must tell him…if hong Gi gives me a ride tonight, I won’t have a chance…

“You go bring it…I can’t leave her with you, she’s our supervisor…13 D” Won Bin says in a rush, watching only Hong Gi with his frowning eyes. Hong Gi, I see him frowning at Won Bin for the first time in my life, gosh! What are they doing? I have a freaking house to go to! I need a good nap! I have an oppa to visit! What on earth do they think they’re doing, gazing at each other as though they were a pair of sumo fighters?!?

“I can drop her at home…you better go get the dress back” Hong Gi says urgently, and adds. “She’s more comfortable with me…”

This, I can see, happenes to surprise Won Bin that he stares harshly at Hong Gi as though he’s considering a way of killing him in his mind. I really can’t figure out what his problem is, nor can I try to, with my mind going numb with the overwhelming fatigue, I can’t think of any reason why he will act this way, but seriously? He must be relieved that I’ve found someone; he must be relieved that from today onwards, he’s never going to hear my fussing and petty speeches. And now, he must be glad that my soul mate offered me a ride that spares him from trouble! But why all this?

Gosh! This is so frustrating!

“Lee joone” He says finally in a low, urgent voice. I lower my head, squeeze close my eyes, and look up again to look at Hong Gi.

“You see…hong Gi-ah….I have to discuss something with Won Bin personally…so, I might have to…accept his offer….”

And unlike as I expected, he seems to consider what I just said, and finally answers. “Okay…but you’re staying here…with me…you go and get the dress…”

And I, having no other option, or no other way to object, though I feel he just offended him, just gaze at Won Bin until our eyes meet, and when they do, I slowly manage a nod.

He knew he hates him from the day he first saw him that day on the stage, but there has been no other moment that he has hated him more than how much he despises him right now. He can’t comprehend why he does. He has nothing to do with him after all, only that he’s Lee Joone’s soul mate, and of course that doesn’t bother him! It’s only her stupid immaturity, why on earth does it bother him? She can go around flirting and dancing around him all she wants, that’s what she’s been making a fuss over after their kiss on the stage, and he doesn’t care…

But, just now…why can’t he just leave her…? Why can’t he just let her be with him all she wants like he wants to…? Why does he feel as though…she’s so far away from him…? And even if she is…why does it matter to him so badly?

Of all the matters…why does she keep on doing this to him? Why does she give him weird feelings that he can hardly even tolerate on his own?

Without even a word, he offers Hong Gi a punitive frown and walks to the lift as if they doesn’t exist,and walks in after it opens up. Soon he finds himself mmoving upwards while his mind is busy trying to comprehend the undesirable feelings he has right now. It’s hard…he doesn’t know why, but it’s hard to have him being treated like that by someone who she cares so much for. He’s not the kind of a man who listenes to whatever that random people say, but here, right now, he’s doing it. He’s leaving her, the girl that he hates more than anything on earth, with the man that she likes, why? To be of help for her, and also listening to the other man she likes…what is he doing? Why is he helping her? Why is he following orders of someone else? And why does he feel like he has to? For her…?

No no no….he shakes his head, muttering to himself. I’m getting the dress back because it’s the band’s money, I’m helping her because I want to keep the band together…nothing else, thers’s nothing else…

But when he takes the heavy bag with the dress into his hand, he gulps, wanting to stop the memories from before flowing into his mind. This dress…how beautiful she looked in it…how angel like….she was…a beautiful work of art with no faults, just a perfection. The sight of her…just the sight of her filled his heart with a sweet honey le feeling the moment he saw her there on the stage, glowing like a perfect porcelain doll…just how can he hold in the undesirable feeling of want, the urge to touch her? That moment…he couldn’t figure out if he’s seeing the reality…or just a dream which is too good to be true…?

No, this is crazy…just simply so stupid and absurd to feel that way…is he running crazy to let the stupid feelings flow into his mind…? No, he must stop this…he must not let her control him….he must not let her put him to this state of wanting to-

-hell! What is wrong with him? Why is he now ping the bag of the dress? Why is he wanting to see it…? Why is he wanting to see her…in this dress one last time…?

He quickly pulls out his hand from the bag, zip it up again and gets up on his heels to take a deep breath. This is just fatigue…he says to himself. This is just the tiring day that makes him do all the weird stuff that he never wants to do…

He doesn’t wait in the room anymore, he has wasted enough time already. What if that man has already taken her away? She said she had something to discuss personally with him, what if that man has already taken her chances away from her? He has to hurry…otherwise it will be too late…

When the lift arrives at the ground floor, he swiftly hops out of it with the dress in his hands, and finds her still there with the other man with her on her side, tightely holding her hand, and what’s more? There’s Jong Hun on her right, looking blank as ever. Won Bin’s eyes darted over them like radar signals, and lands on Lee Joone, and back to Jong Hun.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, with a weird feeling of fear, anger and concern arousing within him. Jong Hun shakes his head. “Nothing, just that you took so long…” Then he turns to Lee Joone with concerned eyes, and back to Won Bin. Then he asks. “You didn’t tell her anything did you?”

Won Bin gives him a deadly glare. “No” He answers simply, to which Lee Joone adds. “No, he didn’t…I’m just tired…”

And bringing Won Bin an unbearable anger to the surface, her soulmate’s eyes runs over her, and he touches her cheek with concern. “She looks so pale, you better take some rest Lee Joone…”

She nods with a slight smile. “I’m okay…”

“I can drop you home if you want…” he offers, and now Won Bin really wants to er punch him right on the spot. He turns to Won bin. “You can discuss things tomorrow, she doesn’t seem to be well-.”

“Gwenchana~!” Chimes Lee Joone and she turns to Won Bin. “Give me a ride home…I have something to discuss”

And for some weird reason, he’s relieved to hear it.

“But Lee Joone-“

And Won Bin has had enough of it. He swiftly moves and takes Lee joone by her wrist, surprising her. “Let’s go, we’re late”

Her innocent but tired eyes lands on him, and his heart skips a beat. “Let me say Hong gi good bye first”

This makes him slowly let her go. He has to. He’s the one who she likes, he has to let her say good  bye… So he moves away, cursing it that he always follows the orders that her eyes keep giving him and let her give him whatever the kind of goodbye she meant, and his anger rises when it happenes to be just nothing much, only a smile and a wave, to which he responds the same. “Eat well and rest well okay?”

“I will! You too!”

And it’s done. Just done.

So much for a petty little goodbye…what a childish love she has…

And she watches as he walks away, her eyes are tired but longing for him which looks just so pathetic in his eyes. She loves him that badly, but what difference does he have from any other man! Pathetic! Just simply so pathetic!

Soon he finds himself in his jeep, driving at full speed with Lee Joone on his side, looking as though she’s in an ultimate zombie transformation. It does concern him, but he doesn’t care. He cannot care otherwise it will go too far. He can’t believe it, that he’s actually letting her do it to him. She keeps on doing it to him, she keeps on making his heart skip a beat, and gulp at every glance and freeze every time she closes her eyes with fatigue, or with her heart melting smiles. He really can’t take it anymore. His anger rises at her sight, at her words, oh! At whatever she does, and even now as she stares ahead, her eyes dripping with exhaustion, he’s trying to figure out a way to get over the hateful signals that he keeps receiving from his mind.

“What is that you wanted to discuss?” He asks finally trying to ignore everything that is running in his head. Lee joone finally turns to him, he swiftly looks ahead, afraid to meet her eyes.

“Is…the new supervisor…that bad…?” she asks. He sighs at the question. Why does it bother her so much now? She’s back with treasure and Hyun-a’s not coming back-

“Is that what you want to discuss? Hyun-a?” He asks harshly. But there’s silence which makes him wonder if he was too harsh just now. So he decides to answer. What’s the point of hiding anything anyway? Hyun-a won’t have to work with them anymore, now that Lee joone’s back…

“She likes to say things directly on the others face…in a harsh way…”He answers, and waits for a reply. She does give one after a moment of silence.

“Does it hurt so much to hear your mistakes on your face?”

He thinks for a bit, his mind searching for such a situation of hearing his mistakes that way, but with Hyun-a, that has never happened, the only time that it has taken place in his life is after Lee Joone joined in, but it cannot be considered at this moment…

“I don’t know…she’s never done it to me…” He says in a low voice, suddenly feeling guilty himself. Only he hasn’t been through it, the one with the most faults but the rest? They always suffered without even making any mistakes…but Lee Joone, she always treats them all the same…

“Really? Then she can’t be that bad…” She says in a low voice.

Won Bin turns to her and sees her gazing right ahead, he turns away, feeling uncomfortable, and answers.

“She hurts them so badly, lee Joone…she said something really bad to jong Hun, something she should never have said…”

Her eyes immediately lands on him. “If she hurts the most flawless, how come she says nothing to you?”

He takes a deep breath. He has to tell her. It’s not like she will ever care, she’s got one of her own to be bothered about, though, for some reason it bothers him…

“Hyun-a…she…she’s actually my…girlfriend…so…”

Won Bin is actually expecting a better reaction, but all he gets is a boring ‘oh’ . He purses his lips as he slowly takes the turns on the road, but it’s bothering him. He has a girlfriend, a bothersome, y mouthed, hateful girlfriend, and she doesn’t even care?

But then again…why does it matter to him if she ever cared or not? It’s not like he expects more…

“Then that makes it better…” Her voice suddenly sounds after a moment, but Won Bin’s confused. What does she mean?

“Eh?”

He sees her in taking a deep breath with her eyes tightly closed which makes her look like a goddess in his eyes, he swallows hard and waits for her to speak, ignoring the fact that her mere pale, tired face really concerned him.

Then she finally speaks.

“Won Bin I…I can’t…I really can’t work for the band…anymore…I….I just…can’t…”

“What did you just say?” He finds himself saying harshly. He doesn’t mean to be hard on her, but why again? Why does she want to leave? She now knows almost too well of the problems that they will go through without her, just why can’t she understand?

“I’m sorry…Won Bin…it’s just….being in the band is truly…impossible…for me…”

“Impossible? What’s impossible? You were doing fine before, what got into you-!”

“Won Bin!” Her voice suddenly sounds hard on him that he immediately stops talking and lets out a long sigh. She can’t be dropping out again! That will simply put him on the edge again! And the whole band! Plus, now that he has almost turned his back on Hyun-a for the second time, there’s no possible way that she will accept it again, how can he even ask her after telling her that their permanent supervisor has returned? She will never believe it if he says that she left again!

“Look…I’m really sorry…” She says after a while but he cut her off.

“We’re not having this conversation again lee Joone, you’re in the band and its final-“

But it surprises him when she starts yelling at him in a way that she has never done before. “Gosh! Won Bin! Just let me have my ways for once! Ever since I joined the band you’ve been treating me this way! At least, just once look at me and see why I can’t do this anymore!”

He stares at her, unable to find his words. Did she just say ‘let me have my ways for once’? She can’t say so, all this time she’s been having things her way for goodness sake! She’s been controlling them, taking them over, what does she mean by having her ways just once even after having it all this time until now? He observes her closely and carefully as she remains hanging her head and sobbing slightly. It concerns him. There’s obviously something bothering her, otherwise she will never be this way, he knew her enough to know that. There’s something more behind all her smooth sobs and lies. Only it seems that it’s not within the reach for Won bin to lay a hand on. And it bothers him even more. What could that be…? Is it something that he has done to her…?Is it her soul mate…? Or…the kiss…? He can’t tell. Her dark, gloomy face gives out absolutely nothing for him to comprehend. This is no good. Good way or the bad way, he’s going to make her stay.

“You’re not leaving until I KNOW why you can’t…plus when did not you have your ways in the band Lee Joone-“

“sorry…I didn’t mean it-!”

“Yes, you can’t have, because all this time it has been your way, and that’s why we need you Lee joone, I don’t like to say this but your way always works…”

There’s silence, as she bites her lower lip, staring ahead. And only after knowing her for this such a short period of time, Won Bin has gotten to learn several actions that she makes at many points, and this, chewing her lower lip, he’s seen it only when she’s very badly upset. He knows he’s making it worse, but at least, just now, he complemented her, but nothing seems to change her mind. Is it that she’s too stubborn to do it? Or is she trying so hard not to? Either way, she just seems so complicated for him to handle. Only if she lets him know whatever the problem which matters to her so badly, he’d have considered. But having this situation this way, her wanting to leave without any known reason, how can he even help? Even he’s a man with a whole lot of matters of his own. Keeping the band steady, for an instance, which seems almost impossible without her presence, is now the biggest matter he has. He goes through hell to protect it, it’s a treasure of his own, the only ounce of his indulgence. He has no happiness beyond that. Being with his fellow members, being with the band, keeping it without letting it fall apart, they all mean a lot to him. How can he bother himself with her matters while he has his own over his head?

But when his eyes turn to him as he got no answer, his heart starts to give him the unmistakable, yet hateful pounds, because now what he sees is her, her eyes slightly closing and opening again, her head slowly falling; she’s falling asleep. The random visions of her suffering alone in the suite back then suddenly flows into his mind in a flash. He glanced into her face then and there, and saw how weary and tired she was, She has been doing all the crap on her own, she’s been managing more than half of the band’s work for the performance on her own, and only in one day she helped them out from all the troubles they had, and helped them out to pull strings onto a perfect performance, a performance good enough to win the best performance of the day award, and it’s all because of her. If not for her, they would have never survived. There’s no wonder that she’s dead tired, after all she went through…? And she even acted so well tonight, on the stage, she did perfect, beyond perfect, it’s…more of a dream for him…beneath all that she has already, how can she be so…beautiful? More than that, she played her part as if everything was so real…as though all of it were happening for real. It just…turned him up side down completely, aroused an unbearable desire of touching her within him, resulting a passionate kiss…but the thought of it scares him now. She didn’t like it…of course she never will! After all she has gone through in one day because of him, why will she like being kissed by someone that she hates so much? She said it herself, that she hates him than anybody else on earth…whereas Hong Gi, her soulmate is her most favourite of all. He saw how comfortable she is to be with him. She must be liking him a lot…a lot more than he knows that she’s been keeping her first kiss for him to feel, which Won bin ruined, and indulged himself with the tender, mellow sensation on his own. Oh how mean of him! She didn’t want the cruel, harsh, heartless Won Bin to taste her first kiss…she had all her desires to let the one she loves to taste it…oh how mean of him to crush her dreams and actually…like the feel of it…?

It’s after a heavy downpour and the signs of it are still there among the glorious streets of seoul. The roads are still glittering with the raindrops, and it’s still slippery causing a thick traffic jam. it has gotten the Q7 stuck on the road, and it irritates him. How can he be stuck here? With her…he can’t be…God! He can’t take it! She’s controlling him so badly. She’s apparently sound asleep, but the very presence of her besides him, it bothers him a lot. He wants to look at her, face her and watch her eyes drooping with tiredness, he wants himself to feel the heart ripping guilt within him…it’s crazy, just plain crazy…

When his eyes suddenly lands on her, he can’t help it. And as though he’s already running insane, he fully turns to her, and her hideous sight makes him smile. Oh how adorable she can be…she can make him feel guilt and happiness at the same time…and it feels so wonderful…

He slowly leans over and takes her face in both his hands, and slowly makes her lay her head against the head rest, but she’s too short for it. So he moves his hand across her and lowers the seat backwards, making a comfy place to sleep in, and with that, he makes her lean back comfortably in it. All through this, she’s all dead to the world, her eyes closed tight and the soft dark mane of her hair is a complete mess, fallen all over her face. He gently pushes it away, revealing her sleeping angel like figure even more. He then takes his navy blue coat from the back and covers her. In the end, he leans back and sighs.

He must be crazy…yes, he is…otherwise, why will he be staring at her this way? As though he has never seen anything prettier before? His eyes slowly runs over her face, her big brown eyes, her perfectly placed nose, and her rosy lips…he gulps hard remembering the feel of it, but his hearts makes another hateful movement of falling down thousand miles. She hated it…she hated kissing him which he enjoyed so very much, and she has been keeping it for Hong Gi, her so called soul mate…does she like him that much? Why…does she like him that so much…?

And why…does it bother him? Lee joone, he hates her…yes, he hates her than anything else on earth. He must let her like anyone of her desires. He won’t care….he just won’t care-

The sudden sound toot of a car which hit his eardrums like a massive explosion is what which brings him to the reality, and that’s when he realizes it that the vehicles around him has started moving. He closes his eyes tight in frustration of his own doing. Hell! What has gotten into him?

His own deeds just simply raises his anger up to a certain extent that he presses hard on the paddle and drives like he has never before. Oh how foolish of him! Oh how impossible of him to be this way! What was he doing just then? Staring at her in her sleep? What is she anyway? He doesn’t have any memories of doing anything close to that while being with Hyun-a, his own girl friend, and then he ends up staring at the girl that he hates more than anything else in her sleep? What kind of a hate is that?

His anger has reached its that he drives faster than ever before, he doesn’t slow down until he reaches the busy roads of the suburbs, and when he reaches the small alleyway to her house, he stops the engine and take in few long breaths before turning to her. Seeing her sleeping so peacefully makes his heart skip another angry beat, but controlling his weirdly unfamiliar senses, he slowly takes off his coat from her and gently shakes her by her shoulder.

“Oi! Lee joone…wake up, Lee joone”

And soon, as if she was waiting for it, her brown eyes flutters open, and lands on him. He quickly moves away, Feeling uncomfortable.

“You’re home…now leave…” He mutters, not daring to land his eyes on her, afraid that he will again end up being this weird self again.

She presses both her hands on her face, mutters something insensible, another act she makes when she’s under pressure, and straightens up.

“Ah….so tired….” She mutters, and by the corner of his eyes, he sees her facing him.

“Thanks for the ride, frowny…but…can you…come with me…? You’d have to explain things to granny…and I’m….scared to…walk the…rest…”

He finds himself nod. Of course he can’t let her walk alone in the dark alleyway, plus he’s the one who put her through this, so he has to take her along.

Soon he hops out of the jeep and walks to the other side to help her out. It’s odd that he’s actually doing that, he never helps girls out this way, and odd enough, he’s doing it, for the girl he hates unlike any other.

“Gomowo…” (The informal way of thanking somebody in Korean) she mutters as he hands her her bag, and then they start walking towards her house.

“Tell her we were on a date…or she won’t let me out again” She says as they step over the wet cement road. This surprisese him. He thought she hates it to have him dating her even though it’s not for real; why does she want him to fake it now?

“Wouldn’t it bother you?” He asks, she shakes her head. “Naw…but they’re really convinced we’re dating, and since I’ve been staying out all these days, they think I’ve been going out with you all these days…can you pretend that you were…? Or else they wont let me out again…”

By this, he feels a little offended. Is it by the means of pretending since she’d been drooling over another man for the past few days that she wants him to save her? If it had been for the band, he’d have been fine, but for her own problems?

“No” He says and continues walking like he doesn’t care. She comes to him in a swift movement.

“Jebal! Won Bin~ah!” (‘Please’ in Korean) She pleads. He makes a face. “Yah! What is this? You go around drooling over people until night, and now ask me to save you from your crazy grandma?”

She looks down at her feet. “Well she’s crazy indeed but…” She looks up to face him. “I was NOT drooling over anybody, I was working”

He makes a fake laugh. “Yeah right. Like I didn’t see you”

Her eyes widen adorably. “How come…?”

“That day when I came to ask you back into the band, I saw your eyes fixed like hell on him…”

“Who? Hong Gi?”

“Obviously” He answered simply, still walking up the slope.

She quicly catches up with his pace. “I was not! And, OMO! You sound like a jealous boyfriend, perfect!”

He stops on his track with a sigh and looks directly into her eyes. “No I do not! More like glad because at least somebody’s concerned about a girl like you”

She gives him a sharp look. “There are many who are concerned”

“Well yeah…your crazy granny and your aunt and your brother…that’s almost all I know of”

She makes a face. “You wait and see…I’m going to get hong gi head over heels in love with me, and you won’t have anything to say!”

He makes another fake laugh. “Good for you”

Then her eyes widen in a flash. “Oh! Maybe I will get YOU head over heels! Ha!”

He shakes his head irritated with her. She was all tired and dead to the world just a minute ago, what has gotten into her now that she’s all hyperactive?

“What’s with you, eh? Aren’t you tired?”

She nods with a smile. “I am…and that makes me nuts”

“Explainable” He answers curtly and moves on.

“But Won bin, you HAVE to spear me, You HAVE to! Otherwise all my privileges will be gone for good.”

Now he directly turns to her, stopping just before the front door to her house. “Okay, I will, but only if you stay in the band”

She makes a face. “But that was not in the deal even!”

He gives her a sharp look. “What deal? There’s no deal-!”

“But Won Bin~ah! If you don’t do it now, I will never be in the band or-or work at the Memphis or-.”

Won Bin rolls his eyes. “Or drool over Hong Gi? Okay, I get it, now come on” He says and drags her by her arm towards her house. She smiles happily as if she just won herself a fortune. “You’re doing it?!? Oh Gomowo!!!”

“Just shut up and come”

When they enter the house looking nothing like a couple but more like lifelong rivals, the first sight they see is her grandmother walking hither and tither, swearing by herself. At the sound of the sliding door, she pauses and charges towards whoever who just entered, and it surprises them both that they step back, their eyes focused on her.

“There you are you little devil!” She chimes and walks to her in small steps.

“Here we go~” Lee Joone whispers under her breath. “Hi-grandma” She greets pleasantly.

“Hi? Don’t you ‘hi’ me you little bastard! How many times have I told you, girls don’t stay-!” And her eyes moves to Won Bin, and her hard expression softenes up to a certain extent. Seeing this, Lee Joone quickly wraps her hand around his and pulls him closer, which irritates him, but he doesn’t show otherwise he will ruin it.

“You…? Lee joon…she-was she-? With you??”

Won Bin nods and forces a smile. “Yes…elder, I’m sorry that I-,” But he never get to finish it because she moves to him and hold his face in both her palms, looking as though she just won a lottery and she steps back with a massive smile. He feels Lee Joone letting out a sigh beside him. Oh!  All the things that he’s doing for her!

“I knew it! Oh! I knew you will go on until marriage! Lee Joone Aigoo! Aigoo! You’ve found your future husband!”

“Grandma~!” Lee Joone chimes, turning red. Won bin wants to be through the ground. Future husband? Oh for heaven’s sake! All the things that he’s doing for her!

“Aigoo! Lee Joone! This is beautiful!! But-,” The granny turns to Won Bin. “You better bring her home before mignight, arasso? (Okay in Korean)”

Won Bin finds himself nod though he’s irritated of the accusation. “I understand…elder…” Then he turns to Lee Joone who’s smiling widely which makes him skip a beat, but he continues his act. “Then I will be going…can’t be more late…” He slowly pulls his hand away from her and moves away. “Good night then, rest well…”

“Won Bin~ah!” She suddenly exclaims, and he faces her. She smiles again. “Let me drop you!”

And soon they find themselves outside, Won Bin with his usual glare, and Lee joone smiling. “Phew! That was close!”

Won Bin doesn’t answer and continue frowning. He’s irritated, so damn annoyed that he wish he can really punch that pretty face of hers. What does she take him to? A boy toy?

“If not for you, I’d be dead by now!”

“No” Won Bin says, looking straight at her. “You’re still so dead”

She smiles. “Don’t worry kiddo, I won’t end up being your wife, so…no future husband!”

“You should have come with Hong Gi, it would have been fair for both of you” he says.

“I can’t…why? She’d think I’m a play girl to change guys like that! You’re the one who started it so keep playing the game. I told you how strict she is when it comes to me dating”

He keeps silent for a while, and finally says. “Now go, I want a peaceful ride home”

She leans over and pats on his arm, and where she touched went completely numb, surprising him. She smiled widely. “I’m not keeping you…go, so I can peacefully rest”

And the next thing he knows is he’s walking down the slope again, feeling empty and blank. He can’t believe  how she’s using him, like a play toy, or how he follows her with whatever she says. This is madness, he thinks as he reach the jeep, she’s crazy and that’s what which makes him be this way. She calls him moody, she says he always changes his moods like changing cloths, but she’s even worse! One minute she was tired and dead sleepy, the next, she’s all talking and hyperzctive!

But as he climbs in, he finds himself smiling like a mad man. Yes, it’s her, she’s doing it again. She’s controlling him, and now is running him mad. He must be steer clear of her, or else it will get even worse.

The ride home is slow and boring for him, and surprising him, he gets this weird feeling of wishing if she’s still there sitting beside him. Even the sleeping figure of her keeps him company, at least he can kill the time by just looking at her. But now he’s weirdly bored.

But when he reaches home, as he parks the Jeep next to his sisters car, he feels slightly nervous. He knows how his parents are like when it comes to him being involved with small scale projects, boy bands, for an instance. They have all their expectations to make him become a classical musician like his father is. They wants him to learn the piano, the violin or any other classical musical instrument but the guitar. They want him to follow the path that his father has built, and being the only son of the family, he has no other option but to follow it, but always his heart followed his dreams of one day becoming a rock artist and bring his band into the kpop industry, the life line of South korea’s entertainment field. His parents have always been his biggets barrier, and even joining the band was done behind their back with his noona’s help. Even now, being involved in the band’s activities are done behind their back, his noona keeping back up for him by making up various stories about his whereabouts. But tonight, after his appearance on the valentine’s special, he has these scary feelings of having himself noticed. But then again, his parents are completely against the TV channel that BOTB is broadcasted on, so maybe they never saw it. But by any chance, what if they have gotten to know about the kiss that he and Lee Joone shared on the stage? It will obviously land them both in a catastrophe. They think Hyun-A and He should go on forever which is very unlikely to happen since none of them really have feelings for each other except for occasional urges to kiss and hug, and they both know that the relationship they have and that they have been having for longer than two years is nothing. What she needs is actually not having a steady boyfriend for herself whereas what Won Bin really wants is someone to love him sincerely unlike Hyun-a, but the lack of money they have and the force by both parties they have, they’re still going on. And what happened tonight, the passionate kiss he made which looked almost too real, it will certainly put him on the edge.

As usual, his dedicated guard lets him in, and also gives him the warning that both his parents are in. Except for Hyun-A, his noona and the band mates, his guard is the only other man who knows of the treasure and other than his sister, he keeps back up on him too, for which Won Bin is sincerely grateful. He greets him for a pleasant night and tip toes in. Soon he finds himself in the sophisticated hallway and on his socked feet, his slowly makes it towards the staircase after running his eyes towards the direction of his sisters room to see if she’s waiting for him with a warning. Its when he’s halfway up the stairs that he hears it, footsteps up on the corridor up stairs and his father’s cold voice. His heart stops. Will he get caught just now? Without wanting to take any risks, he turns around and starts climbing down, but his father’s voice which now sounds louder stops him in the middle.

“Won Bin? Where are you going?” He asks mildly, but no matter how mild he is, it horrifies him. He stops and swallow hard. He survived half of it at least.

He takes a deep breath and turns around. “To meet a friend father” He lies, trying not to give away anything. He sees his father’s frown which has no difference from his own. “This late? You’re not going anywhere, get back to your room”

Won Bin nods, feeling rather lighter than before that he succeded.  “Yes…father…” He says slowly, and make it up the stairs, aware that his father is still there, watching him until he’s up. When he is, his nods and returns to his room without a word. Won Bin lets out a long sigh of relief and enters his room.

After a warm shower which somewhat cools down his busy mind, he falls into his bed with a towel on his head. It’s when he’s busy wiping his red-brown hair that he receives a message on his phone; it’s his sister.

‘I’m by ur room, lemme in’ it says. He slowly walks to the door with his towel fallen over his shoulders and opens it with a yawn.

“Gosh! Binnie! My brother is getting ier by the day!” She says, her eyes on his bare shoulders. He smiles feeling shy to be in his night cloths before his sister, but the relationship they have between them is not brotherly, they’re like close friends, and that comment is something that he gets under regular basis.

“Anyway…” She says, entering his room. “You know I watched BOTB tonight right?”

Won  Bin nods, turning red, remembering what happened on tonight’s show. She smiles as she sits down in one of his massive bean bags. He sits in the one parallel to hers and continues wiping his hair.

“You know…apparently it’s my favorite episode so far…”

“Really?” He asks. But he feels it’s an obvious fact. She just found herself another point to make fun of him, so no wonder.

“Really…and after seeing you with only Hyun-a, it’s a good change…”

He nods with a smile before he ask; “Mum and dad don’t know right?”

She shakes her head. “Nope, they have no interest in watching valentine’s specials…plus you owe me big time, I skipped my Valentine’s date for you!”

“I did?” He asks, feeling guilty. It’s a popular fact among the Oh family, her dating a professer from the university that she’s teaching at, and he’s one of the few people that Won bin is comfortable with so he knows that he’d be forgiven for stealing his date with his girlfriend on the valentines.

“Yes…so instead, we had our date here, at home, watching you kissing on the stage! How lovely!”

Won bin pauses on drying his wet hair and widens his eyes at her. “Noona!”

She makes a small laugh. “You know honey, it looked so real! And by the way…who was that pretty lady up there…obviously not Hyun-A, she looked a lot prettier than her…”

“Well she…” He starts, but he can’t find any words. Of course she’s never going to let him be if she gets to know who she is. But apparently, his noona is smarter than he knows.

“It’s the supervisor girl right?” she says loudly and clasps her hands together. “Ah! I knew it I KNEW IT!!”

“Yah noona!” He chimes, feeling his face burn with embarrassment. “That’s only acting alright?”

She nods, trying to get over her laughter. “I know I know…that was really quality acting…”

Then she looks at him straight and adds. “She’s really pretty by the way…and doesn’t seem as bad as you said…”

He looks down at his hands. He knows it, he knows that fact just too well…

“But she’s really troublesome…” He adds, looking at her.

“Really?” She asks, looking interested. “How troublesome?”

He clears his throat. “Well…she…she insists on leaving the band…And none of us want that…”

She nods understandingly. “Sounds bad…she has any reasons?”

He shakes his head. “She says she has issues…but the only issue she shows of having is her crush…she has a crush on this other dude..the guy from FT TRIPLE, remember? She likes him and now that she has found a job at where he works, she wants to go on working there…”

Noona narrows her eyes. “Really…? Has she been fussing over it…like, showing her fondness for him when talking about her leaving?”

He shakes his head, thinking himself. True. She doesn’t say much about Hong gi after all…

“No…she…well she’s normally not very emotional…but when she comes to the topic of leaving…she kind of…cries…”

Won Bin notices it, how this interests her. But then again, it always interests her whenever he’s speaking to her about girls.

“Cries? Then there must be something serious behind it, honey, if she’s a girl with a strong speech, there must be something serious which troubles her other than just a mere crush!”

Won Bin nods. “I thought of that too…but she’s happy and cheerful most of the time…she never gives anything away…she’s got various moods…”

Noona nods in response. “That may be…but you better talk to her-,”

“I did already…”Won bin interrupts but she continues, widening her eyes like plates, which definitely indicates him to shut up and listen.

“-You better talk to her more nicely than you do and talk her in otherwise you’d be risking the band having not too long until the big day…”

He nods in agreement. True, he has too…and not in the way that he has already…he should try speaking to her more mildly since the way he has spoken to her already has apparently done no good.

So the next day, after waking up from a scary nightmare of having himself being married to her for real, he indulges himself with another warm shower to wash out the memories of his nightmare off his head and heads out after an appetizing breakfast.

As soon as he’s out, he again gets attacked by the inexplicable feelings that he’s grown to get recently, but today, he has made up his mind to really talk to her, as nicely as possible and talk her into the band again, if she has really made up her mind again to leave.

He positions himself into a leaning position against the wall of his house, and waits for her, ignoring his heart which is beating rapidly in a weird way that even he can’t comprehend.

It’s not so long before her figure comes into his visible distance, on her usual riding pace looking blank as ever. She soon reaches the Oh’s house, and as soon as she’s there, she climbs down, hops, more likely, and walks to the gate, muttering something insensible to herself. He swallows hard, not wanting to watch her cute actions since it has now begun to give him odd feelings, and although he wants to turn away, he watches her pushing the paper under the gate cautiously, fearing she would hurt herself once again.

He finds himself sighing as she steps back looking satisfied, and before she skips her way back to the bicycle, he sighs again, hard, and makes a step towards her.

“Lee Joone” He calls out her name which immediately stops her from what she’s doing. She turns to face him and gives him a sweet smile, which again, makes him skip an unmistakable beat.

“Hello frowny! A very good morning!”

He ignores the part where he has to greet back and carries on with what he had planned.

“You have time for a chat?”

She nods with a smile. “Sure…I came early anyway…”

“I see…” He says as pleasantly as he can as he is told by his sister the other night. “You want to…sit down somewhere…?”

She nods again. “If it’s a long chat…okay…”

“You sound really pleasant today…” She comments as she takes a seat on the cement bench few feet away from his house. He only nods, avoiding giving her smile and takes a seat next to her, feeling uncomfortable.

He moves back slightly as she leans forward to face him. “So” She asks with a smile. “What is that you want to talk about?”

He too, with a lot of courage to not to feel uncomfortable, faces her. Now he will speak as calmly as he could. This for the band, he thinks, convincing himself. Just for the band…

“Lee Joone I…I’m going to ask you…a question…and I really need a sincere answer…I don’t care what the answer is…no matter what you have to say…just tell me…I will listen…arasso?”

Lee Joone chuckles slightly. “You are….not going to ask me out are you…”

He purses his lips. Did she have to say that? Because it’s actually inappropriate for him just now.

“Nope…not even a chance…”

She smiles widely. “That’s a relief…anyway, nae-ge-mal-hae-jwo…”(‘Tell me’ in Korean)

“Well…” He starts and clears his throat before looking straight into her big brown eyes. “Tell me…why…exactly do you want to leave…? Tell me the exact reason-.”

“Oh! Not again Won Bin!” She exclaims looking dark than she did before. He feels guilty that he ruined her mood.

“No look, look, Lee  Joone” He says, trying to calm her down. “I just want to help you okay? We really really need you in the band. And I don’t know how I can tell the magnaes that you left again…they’d be very upset and how can we manage it to the next round with no supervising?”

She watches him with her pair of gem-like eyes which are just so hard for him to resist. He ignores the odd signals that he keeps getting and waits for her to answer.

“Won Bin, I made it clear I AM NOT coming back!”

“Is it…because of Hong Gi? If so…I can totally figure out a way for you-.”

“Of course it’s not him! Do you think I’m such a low life!?!” She practically screams. He wonders if he just spoke to harshly, but as for his knowledge, it’s as calm as he could that he spoke just now.

“Okay, okay…Got it….now, is it because of how I treat you-?”

“Won Bin! Can’t you just let me be!?! I can’t be in the freaking band anymore I just can’t! Don’t you get it?!? I can’t manage it! I can’t go through all I have being with you I JUST CAN’T!!!”

She yells, tears suddenly springing out her eyes. He can’t take it anymore. He just ruined her morning, he just ruined the pleasant mood she had just minutes ago. He failed again, but he’s not giving up. Not again.

“Listen to me LEE JOONE!” he says. And before even he could understand what he’s doing, he presses both his hands against the soft skin of her full cheeks and cups her face in his hands.

 This surprises her that she stops yelling and bears her eyes, which looks gorgeous like a pair of glittering stars up close, into his, and the very look of them simply runs through his nerves right towards his hearts which gives him a severe pain, making it unbearable to breathe. Maybe it’s the kind of pain that she has hidden beneath all the smiles and musical laughter that she very often makes. The pain he never even tried to understand, the pain that he always ignored before yelling at her without even thinking it on her point of view. The undesirable guilt sweeps through him making him cold and helpless within himself as he held her face before his own, trying to find words that he needs to say. He’s hopeless, completely hopeless before her pain, because for some weird reason, his pain is surpassing the pain that she just transferred to him through that innocent, sad pair of eyes of hers. He can’t believe what’s happening within himself. Its pain, obviously it is. But he has never felt somebody else’s pain this badly hitting him inside, but hers, it just touched the most sensitive point of his heart making it beat so rapidly until he can’t breathe. He swallows, still bearing his eyes into hers, still unable to find any words to say.

It’s after a moment of eye locking that she does it. She starts sobbing slightly, gradually breaking into a teary cry. Her warm tears roll down her cheeks eventually landing in his palms, but he doesn’t care, because once again, he’s made her cry, and for doing this to her, he hates himself, he curses himself. How lovely she looked this morning? And her smiling face and her cheerful greeting, by now he has grown to know, always make his day. No matter what he did to her, she never forgets to treat him with a big smile and a cheery greeting, and it always, always makes his day. Why does he always end up ruining hers?

“Stop it Lee joone.” He says calmly, still not removing his hands from her. “Stop crying…”

But she never does. Instead, she starts muttering through her tears. She’s telling him. About all the matters she has, she’s finally telling him.

“I’m sorry Won Bin…I can’t do it, I can’t work for you anymore. I want to, I’d love to, there’s nothing else which makes me happier, but with all the things I have, I can’t. I can’t take any decisions over him Won bin, of all the things that matters to me the most is him…my oppa…I’m ready to sacrifice anything for him, even if it means I have to sacrifice my love for the treasure, I have no other option…After all he has done for me, I have to save him Won Bin! Just let me out of the band, and let me save him Won Bin! Please! I’m begging you!”

Won Bin gulps down his own feelings. But it’s just so hard to resist the guilt which has practically over taken him by now.

It has been her brother; her brother that she wants to save so badly that has been bothering her so much? Beneath all her happy friendly laughs, smiles and crazy remarks she has been hiding all her pain underneath? How much of courage must have she had to resist it all? Her being a girl, how much of effort must have she made for it?

“Lee Joone…” He mutters, wanting to calm her down, but she carries on. “He keeps on getting it, he keeps getting weaker that he needs more attention and better treatments than he received before…and all he has for help are granny and I, my aunt is not being of much help, but not even our help changes anything, he needs more help…”

“What is it…” He asks slowly, fearing if he’d hurt her even more. “That your oppa…has…”

She pauses on crying and looks straight into his eyes, and he feels his heart pounding in milliseconds. “He has Long QT syndrome, and because of that, he frequently receives heart failures…” With that, she starts crying harder, and he can’t resist it anymore. The guilt he has in him is like cold spheres cutting through his veins. He never knew this, never even bothered to find out but went on making many assumptions, how badly must have he hurt her before, and now, how can he resist it?

Without even thinking of what he’s really doing, he slowly moves his hands away, and moves closer, gently pulling her towards him, eventually making her land her face against his shoulder. She follows it, what he wants her to do. She presses her face against his neck, and starts crying harder, muttering in between. “I’m a bad sister Won Bin…I’m not helping enough…I don’t earn enough for his treatments, I only think about myself…he always lets me decide on my own over his own life…I’m a fool to follow him and now…he’s sick Won Bin! I can’t leave him behind, He’s so sick! How can I leave him and come for you! He’s in pain!”

He says nothing. He now can’t ignore the tight knot in his throat, stuck to the position, not moving at all. She has no money for her brother, she was not receiving enough money from them for his treatments, but she earned enough from the Memphis, and that are the issues that she has been having, of which he wasn’t concerned before. Oh how foolish of him to think of it that way! How foolish of him to make such assumptions and yell at her so inhumanely! Now how will he ever make it up for her?

Slowly before his crazy inner self stops him, he moves his right hand around her waist, his left over her shoulders and tenderly pulls her closer to him, enjoying the warmth she’s giving him and presses his cheek against her soft dark hair, giving her a warmth, the kind of a warmth that she needs now and gently pats her, feeling her pain so badly reaching his sensitive point of the heart, and calmly as he could, he mutters into her hair.

“We will save him Lee Joone….don’t cry…we will….”

And underneath, his heart, is giving him severe pains, like swords ripping through it, slashing it into millions of tiny pieces. And along with every painful , a voice, his own voice screams to him, saying only just one fact. That one fact he fears to hear, he fears to believe, he fears to accept because it’s so painful for him to bear. The one fact that his own voice screeches in his veins, so loudly that he can practically hear it in his ears. And it says, so loudly like an eternal scream in his ears…
‘Protect her Won Bin…she needs you…”