I am never drinking again.

The headache was the worst that Kyungsoo had ever gotten. He doesn't recall being this hungover. Ever. It wasn't just the painful migraine that annoyed him, or the fact that his senses were all damaged to a state where even opening his eyes to his well-lit room became a difficult job, not to mention what the clutter of noises coming from outside his room all morning was doing to his poor ears. It was the fact that he had blank memories of the night before, which frightened him more than anything.

The last thing he remembered was seeing the shocked faces of Suho and Kai, and even those memories were very vague. He doesn't recall interacting with either of them, which he desperately prayed to be true. He cringed at the thought of speaking to them while in his intoxicated state. As his mind gradually came back to the concrete reality after looping in his flawed memories, he felt confident to conclude that he didn't speak to either of them and finally heaved himself out of his warm bed.

But the reassured feeling only lasted so long, until he stepped out of his room to discover the source of the noise, which was in the livingroom.

It was Kai.

The tanned boy turned around and their eyes met for the first time in weeks. The second that followed Kai's warm smile was torturous for Kyungsoo, whose brain had difficulties ordering his muscles to do the right thing.

In the end, he smiled back.

***

"Sulli told me that you haven't been on great form. She said that your voice has been breaking a lot recently."

"Just a little, but it's probably because I've been eating too much junk food and it's messing up my vocals or something," Suho rubbed his temples, trying his best to lie, "But don't worry, the performance should be great. And the announcement would be great."

"…"

When the silence lasted longer than it should, Suho frowned, "What's wrong?"

"It's not the food that's messing up your vocals. It's a person."

Sensing that the girl on the other end of the phone was heading towards a territory that he didn't want to go into, Suho was quick to close the conversation, "Anyway, I've got to go now. I'll talk to you later."

"Oppa--"

"I know what you're thinking, but just...stop worrying. I promise that everything's going to be fine."

"But are you still sure that we should go through with this? I mean--"

"I promised you that I'm going to protect you, so there's nothing you need to be worried about, okay?"

"Oppa, I'm not concerned for myself," the mellow voice on the other end replied, "I'm concerned about you. I want you to be happy. I want you to follow your heart and do what it tells you to do. I want you to forget about me and go find him. Find your voice."

Suho chuckled weakly, "But I am happy. And I know that my heart wants this. Once this is all over, we're going to be happy together. After tomorrow, nobody can hurt us anymore. Not even--"

"Stop it stop it STOP IT!"

Suho jumped a little from the sudden eruption from the other end of his phone. He waited as the heavy panting turned into sobs.

"Krystal, I get it. Please trust me, everything's going to be okay," Suho was trying his very best to hide his tears with a calm voice, "I'll see you tomorrow."

After he had hung up the phone, Suho's tears fell uncontrollably down his pale cheeks as he silently prayed.

He prayed for his own lies to be true.

***

"So, erm, what did…" Kyungsoo swallowed nervously, "what...exactly did I say?"

Kai casually stuffed another piece of chocolate into his mouth and kept his eyes on the TV, "Just that you're not angry anymore. And you hope that we can all forget about the past and move on to the future."

Kyungsoo cringed. He didn't even know that that was how he felt. And apparently, he told the younger that he had forgiven Suho and Kai along with a long speech describing in detail how much he wanted all three of them to start afresh and be friends again.

So here they were, Kai and Kyungsoo, sitting in the livingroom of the Derp Squad's apartment and watching one of Kai's Disney movies with the glorious amounts of food that they had ordered. Just like they did before.

Kai tried to hide his smile by covering it up with his laughter, triggered (apparently) by the TV, which was currently playing 'Toy Story'. Because in reality, Kyungsoo never recovered from throwing up at the restaurant and couldn't even manage to keep his eyes open, let alone speaking to anyone. Kai knew that it was bad to lie, but he figured that it would be the only way to convince Kyungsoo to start afresh, just as Suho had agreed.

The two boys watched the film with virtually no conversation, only the occasional laughter escaped Kai's lips while Kyungsoo's mind continued to wander. Probably still confused by the blurred memories of last night.

The tanned boy tried to ignore everything else and simply wanted to enjoy Kyungsoo's company. He prayed for the film to last longer, even just a few seconds more so that he could face reality just that little later. He had a plan, but he was reluctant to use it. It was a plan that would fix everything and everyone, but himself.

When the inevitable ending of the film came, it took a few seconds before Kyungsoo realised that the movie was over. His mind was never really on the movie, lingering on the whereabouts of Suho. If the three of them really made up last night, why was it that only Kai was here?

Noting Kyungsoo's blank state, Kai took a deep breath before he finally brought himself to talk to the boy.

"Did I ever tell you that I was an orphan?"

Kyungsoo blinked a few times before turning his head to meet Kai's dark eyes.

"Huh?"

Kai looked down with a small smile, "I was thrown around various foster homes when I was a kid. Nobody really wanted me. I ran away from 'home'," Kai air quoted with his fingers, stressing and spitting on the ironic place that he was forced to call 'home', "when I was about 16. Then I got into all kinds of trouble and ended up in the worst places imaginable. Suho hyung was the one who saved me. I'd be dead now if it weren't for him."

Kyungsoo frowned a little upon the word 'saved', "From...where?"

"A rehab centre for the youth," Kai chuckled a little when he saw Kyungsoo's signature wide eyes, "I was still underage when they caught me doing it, so the judge was kind and settled for forced rehabilitation as my punishment. Suho hyung was working there as a volunteer and that's how we met."

Kyungsoo bit his lip to divert his attention away from the throbbing pain that was growing in his chest. He felt sorry for the boy and he tried his best to suppress the urge to hold the brave boy in his arms.

The story somehow put everything into sense. It explained Kai's rebellious nature, his obvious insecurities with people, his lack of concern for others and his seemingly absent heart.

Kyungsoo's words from before punched himself hard in the stomach as he remembered every syllable. The words that he had regretted to ever saying since they left his lips.

"You don't have the ability to love."

He felt a little sick.

Kai continued with his story, oblivious to Kyungsoo's inner battle with his conscience, "I met a girl there, at the rehab centre. She came from a good family, but the pressure of being an only child, an heir, of her family's fortunes, cracked her. She didn't want to be her parents' puppet and she ran away from home, just like me. She was a good girl, you know? And she had money and friends and family, she shouldn't have ended up where I was."

"So how did she?"

"Just unlucky. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was mugged, and her money wasn't the only thing that bastard took," Kai literally spat out his words, demonstrating his disgust for the criminal.

Kyungsoo's eyes were literally popping out of its sockets, "You mean…?"

"Yeah, they her."

The story really wasn't helping with Kyungsoo's churning stomach and dizziness. Especially when Kai was being so casual about the whole thing and simply continuing on without noting Kyungsoo's uneasy expressions.

"Then she got pregnant."

Kyungsoo wondered how many more disgusting things in the world must Kai have been through or saw, because his face did no