"Say something."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything. Just stop looking like a zombie." Suho turned his head to give the frowning Jongdae a weak smile.

"That's a pathetic attempt," Xiumin scoffed and Jongdae nudged him harshly, disliking his boyfriend's tone.

"Your fault. We shouldn't have gone to that dance-off thing last night." Suho said miserably.

"Hey! That's not fair! We were trying to get you to talk to--" Jongdae's deathly glare shut Xiumin up. The elder sighed and stood up to get a drink in the kitchen instead, leaving the two best friends alone.

"What would change if you stayed at home? Yes, you'd be there when Kyungsoo came knocking but you still haven't figured out what you were going to say to him, and there's a lot. You haven't really explained to him the reason why you didn't want anyone to know about the two of you. You haven't apologised to him for...um…" Jongdae swallowed, "trying to him when you know he's not ready because he's a ."

"Delicate."

"Thanks," Jongdae smiled, "All I'm saying is that you were just looking for an excuse not to have the talk. This thing with Kai is just an excuse. Kyungsoo wouldn't cheat on you and you know it. There's no need to be jealous and angry over such a small issue. He fell asleep on Kai's shoulders, so what? It doesn't mean anything, right?"

"It means everything, Jongdae." Suho sighed, "I may be avoiding having the talk with him but I still want to fix things. I gave him a chance to explain but he didn't even bother lying to me with some lame excuse. He just let me go."

Suho wanted to cry but he seemed to have run out of tears now. Every part of his body ached and he was exhausted, but yet he couldn't sleep. Kyungsoo's crying eyes would haunt him as soon as he closed his eyes.

"Have you thought about telling him about...you know." Jongdae shrugged with his head tilted, "It could change his mind about what happened."

Suho shook his lowered head slowly, "No. I'll never ask him to carry that burden with me. That's my own problem."

"What about Kai?"

"He won't tell Kyungsoo. I know him too well."

"But--"

"I know what you're worried about, but I regret nothing. I still care about the both of them. If they're happy, then I'll be happy."

"You don’t look so happy to me," Jongdae said under his breath but Suho heard.

"Kai's changed so much so Kyungsoo. He started to care about others' feelings. He's…" Suho paused, the vomiting feeling returned in his stomach, "...become a better person for him. While I've become a monster."

"That's not true." Jongdae frowned but Suho shook him off.

"Love made him a better person and made me a worse one. I'm hurting both of them by staying."

"You're hurting yourself by leaving." Jongdae held onto Suho's trembling hand and his heart muscles tightened at his suffering friend.

"Better me than them." Suho whispered with a weak shrug.

Jongdae knew his best friend well. He was the guardian, the protector. Always thinking about others first. He would take in all the blame just to protect those that he cared about. And Jongdae knew he couldn't change his mind once it was set.

He sighed, "Then what's your next step?"

"Move out. Get away from the both of them asap. Find a place to stay." Suho slowly looked up at his best friend and bit his lip, "Could I stay with you for a while?"

Jongdae chuckled and pulled him into a hug.

"I thought you'd never ask."

***

Kai was peering through the window of the rooms along the colourful corridor and it didn't take long for him before he found the right music room.

"Kyungsoo?" The wide-eyed boy didn't look up and just resumed packing a bunch of music sheets.

"I need to talk to you," Kai could feel his palms sweating with every step he took towards the silent boy, who startled him when he finally spoke in an unfamiliar low voice.

"I thought I made it clear that we should stop seeing each other."

"But I--"

"Go home, Kai," Kyungsoo finished collecting his sheets and turned to walk out of the door. Kai followed him out to the empty corridor.

"I heard that you've