E a †.
C ø n t e m p l a † i o n
Your pov.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I was getting thinner and thinner. I looked at my left arm. Why was I doing this to myself. I let my right hand slide down my left arm, feeling each cut I had implanted in myself. Why did Seungho have to come. I could’ve just done it. My heart felt heavy with regret. This all started when I told everyone I was thinking of going to leave. What did it have to take to make everything back to normal? I shuffled grudgingly towards the kitchen. It was two days since Seungho saw me do what I had tried to do. He had been giving me help and comfort after that. It only merely lifted my spirits a little. “I don’t care if you’re hungry or not, you must sit at the kitchen table when meal is served everyday.” he told me two days ago. I rested my head on my hand as I sat waiting for all the guys to file into their usual spots. Everybody began to eat in silence as usual with occasional looks to one another. Seungho put a plate of food in front of me. He started to do this just recently. “Stop wasting food, you know I’m not gonna eat. I’m not hungry.” I said pushing the plate away. “You’re skinny enough __, just eat something...” Joon said looking at me shyly. I shook my head and tried to smile. I hadn’t done that in a while. I pointed at my feigned smile. “You see, I’m fine! And I really am not hungry!” I tried to sound more upbeat. Joon nodded quietly and went back to eating. Mir dropped his fork onto the plate and gave me a hug without any notice. He looked up at me and pouted with puppy eyes. “You’re lying. How come I feel like I’m hugging thin air. You’ve grown way too skinny.” he complained. “Yahh... why are you worrying all of a sudden...” I looked down at the table unable to say anything else. “Mir, she’s fine. Just let her be.” Seungho said. I sat there not touching the food. I was so hungry that eventually I forgot about my hunger and didn’t notice it.
The doorbell rang.
“I got it.” I said getting up to the door. I opened it, bowing politely. “Anneyeong, who is --” I stared at the man in front of me. “Ji-Jiyong oppa?” I saw Thunder stand up with surprise, his eyes lighting up. He awkwardly sat back down and cleared his throat. “It’s you.” he murmured trying to sound as genuine as possible. Jiyong scanned me from up to down. He held a plastic bag in his hand. “You’ve gotten skinnier.” he said. I shrugged. “Not really, don’t I look much healthier though? I could be an idol!” I said trying to change the subject quickly. “No, you don’t look healthy. Idols are overrated. I liked it when you were pudgy.” I tried to think of something else to get him off from talking about me. I had begun to notice he was suspecting something. “Why are you here?” I asked as happily as possible. “Because you never visit anymore, so this forces me to go to you. Ugh, you’re such a pain.” “I’ve been busy oppaaa.” “You’re such a liar. You haven’t even texted me.” “I told you, I’ve been busy oppa...” a small pout formed on my lips, trying to act as real as possible. “Stop. Lying. To. Me.” he said with an annoyed voice. “I...I...” I tried to put more words into my mouth but couldn’t find any. He shoved the plastic bag towards me. I looked into it and saw a to-go box. He looked straight at me and moved closer so that we were centimeters apart from each other. He bent down to meet my face.
Jiyong’s pov.
“If you don’t eat any of this food, I will personally kill you before your starvation will.” I whispered to her with a forbidding tone. I pointed at Thunder. “If he doesn’t see you eat this, or if he finds any of this thrown away or forgotten, I will slaughter you.” She nodded slowly and I patted her head. “Good girl.” I kissed her forehead and went out of the house. But before I had begun walking, I took one more glance into it while she closed the door. Her sleeve was slightly wrinkled up because of the position of her handling the door. I could see a few cut lines cross her arm.
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Haii guys!~ Double update :3 I hope you like it ^o^ thank you for supporting me! :D
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im so tired , it's about 10 am right now haha. I have to go to some summer program thing later but I'm afraid of falling asleep or getting lost on the way there since this is my first time ; __ ; everything's gonna be awk LOOOL. anyways i hope you like reading my story :#
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