Luhan looked at Jaehwa. He knew that she’s lying about having a good night sleep without worrying a thing because of her dark circles and her puffy eyes. Jongin’s eyes were red, as if he’s been stressing himself all night long. Three of them were not being themselves that day; they were really quiet and looked gloomy. After making sure that the best friends had entered the car, Luhan started to drive to the hospital.

After a while, Jaehwa opened . “Oppa, I feel… like I’ve made so much sin. I accused him leaving me, to be a womanizer, to be a heartless person. It was the other way round. I’m stupid oppa…” she slowly sobbed, which gradually became louder. Jongin patted her back, but tears were rolling down his cheeks as well. He, as the only hope left for Sehun to tell everything decided to ditch him and didn’t even bother to ask what’s wrong. He, as a guy, failed to act like one. He felt like he should be the one to die instead of Sehun. He felt so ashamed of himself.

“Jaehwa… please don’t blame yourself. Sehun did this to protect you. It’s kind of stupid even for a guy, but he tried his best to protect you. Stop crying and pray that the surgery will be a success for him,” Luhan paused, “And you, Jongin, you know what you need to say to Sehun, right?” Luhan looked at Jongin who slowly nodded.

As soon as they arrived, Jaehwa and Jongin literally ran all the way to Sehun’s ward. He’s awake, but he’s so weak that he could barely blink. The moment he saw Jaehwa and Jongin stepped into his ward, he pretended to sleep.

Luhan who arrived later, hugged Jaehwa who’s hesitating to sit beside Sehun.

“It’s okay. Pour all your thoughts. I understand how you feel. Tell him everything, Jaehwa. Don’t hold yourself in,” he whispered to Jaehwa before slowly brought Jaehwa to the chair beside Sehun and made Jaehwa to sit on it. Jaehwa bit her lips, trying to suppress her tears.

Slowly, she took Sehun’s hands, grabbing it and after letting out a sigh, she said, “Sehun. Oh Sehun? It’s me, Im Jaehwa. Do you remember me? Luhan… Luhan oppa told me everything last night. Babo! Why don’t you discuss this with us? Babo! What’s the point of having us? Babo! If you love me, you should say that to me frequently!” she stopped as she’s sobbing so loud that the nurse came in and warned her to be quiet.

“Sehun-ah. I’m sorry that I totally get rid of my love for you but you left the biggest impact on me. I’m sorry for making you experiencing all this bad things, making you sick. I’m sorry, because of protecting me, you’re dying. I’m sorry, for being a bad girlfriend before. You’re still in my heart, Sehun. Please, be strong! Please, continue living on this world! Please, Oh Sehun, the clumsy guy that I used to know, please, gather your strength to continue living!” She began to cry louder, and to lessen the noise and comfort her, Luhan hugged her tightly.

Jongin then slowly made his way to Sehun’s side. He looked at his best friend’s face; it’s so pale. He opened his mouth, trying to say something but as he trying so hard to not to burst into tears, his voice seemed to be suppressed. He let out a few sigh; his eyes were watery; before he could say the things he wanted Sehun to know.

“Sehun, it’s me. Kkamjong. Your best friend. No, maybe your worst friend ever. First of all, I truly am sorry for ditching you without asking you anything. I’m sorry for treating you in a bad way. I’m the last choice for you to tell everything but I decided to push you away, like other people as well. I’m sorry.” Jongin paused. He then went closer to Sehun’s ears and whispered, “You know, if you’re really going to die, I’d want to substitute my soul with yours. Let me die, because I failed to be a man and a friend. I pray to God to let you live longer and to take me away. Please, be alive!”

“Jongin, what did you whisper to Sehun?” Jaehwa asked due to her curiousity, but Jongin just smiled and shook his head. “You don’t need to know that.” He was about to walk away but he turned around to face Sehun, and said, “Eunkyung noona couldn’t come today but she said, she believes in you that you’ll stay alive. So please be strong, Oh Sehun! We’re there for you!” Jongin then walked out of the room, followed by Luhan. Jaehwa came out later after leaving few pecks of kisses on Sehun’s cheek.

After making sure everyone had left the room, with every strength he had, Sehun opened his eyes. A tear rolled down his cheek. He took a glance on the wall clock; 5 minutes to go for his surgery. He didn’t expect anything as he knew that the percentage of the surgery to succeed is so thin that he thinks that dying is the better choice.

/ / /

1 YEAR LATER

Jaehwa put the bouquet of flowers on the memorial grave plaque of him after praying for his happiness on the other world. Luhan was also there, praying for him as well. “It’s been a year after you left. We miss you dearly, we really do,” Luhan said while looking at his picture on the plaque. Eunkyung who had watery eyes, faked a smile and put a bouquet of flowers on the plaque as well. “I miss you so much, Kim Jongin. Noona won’t forget about you, ever.” She then turned around, seeing Sehun who cried the most. “I owe you so much, Kkamjong. Please be happy over there.”

[FLASHBACK]

“We’re trying our best but it seems like there’s no hope for him,” the doctor said to Luhan, making Jaehwa to drop on the floor. She felt like she lost her mind. She didn’t love him anymore but he means a lot to her. She looked around to face Jongin, but he’s not there. She couldn’t think of anything, and the surrounding began to look blurring in her view.

“Please don’t give up on him. He needs to live! Please, do your best!” Luhan begged the doctor. He looked uncertain but he nodded before he made his way into the operation room. 2 hours passed but the operation was still going on in there. Another 45 minutes passed, and Jongin suddenly appeared in front of Luhan and Jaehwa. He was smiling, but both Luhan and Jaehwa were worried of Sehun that they didn’t entertain Jongin who seemed a bit cheered up on that time.

“Jaehwa, please forgive me, okay? I’m sorry, so please say you forgive me! Jaehwa, you’re my best friend ever and ever and ever and you know that I love you so much. Take care, okay? Because I can no longer look after you,” he said, while bugging Jaehwa that made her annoyed.

“For god’s sake, why are you acting like this? Yes, I forgive you. I always am, because I love you too. I’m still a baby, you still need to take care of me, okay? Shut up now, I’m tired of thinking,” Jaehwa replied while sobbing. Jongin smiled wider. He then looked at his right, facing Luhan.

“Hyung, please look after Jaehwa okay? Please make her happy, please make sure she laughs and smiles, please make sure she wakes up early to go to school, please make sure she matures as time passes, okay?” he repeated the same way of bugging Jaehwa on Luhan, but Luhan looked calm. He responded nicely, “Of course, I will. But why are you acting strange? Are you going somewhere?”

“Of course no! I will stay by your side, including Jaehwa of course, forever and ever. It’s a promise!” Jongin smiled, before he suddenly fainted and fell to the floor. On the very same moment, the surgery ended. “It’s a miracle! The surgery succeeded! On the moment when all of us were about to give up, Oh Sehun suddenly gave out a good response and seems getting healthier. We put him to sleep first.” The doctor realized that he was ignored by both Luhan and Jaehwa so he looked down, only to see them trying to wake Jongin up.

“What happened to this boy?” The doctor squatted and checked if Jongin’s still breathing.

“I don’t know! He suddenly fainted after something weird things to us,” Luhan panicked. Jaehwa began to cry louder, she felt like she’s going crazy. “Jongin! Wake up! Are you okay? Doctor, is he okay? He just fainted right? He’ll be okay, right?” Jaehwa asked panicly.

He looked at Luhan before he switched his gaze to Jaehwa. He shook his head slowly, before putting down Jongin’s hand. “He’s not breathing and I can’t seem to read his pulse,” he paused, “Nurse! Help me to carry this boy to a ward. Emergency!”

Luhan held Jaehwa’s hand tightly, seeing Jongin who’s not responding to anything. After 5 minutes, the doctor confirmed his death and couldn’t find the reason why. He simply concluded that it’s a natural death. Both Luhan and Jaehwa broke into tears. They weren’t given a single minute to feel happy about Sehun, and had to face a friend’s death.

[END OF FLASHBACK]

Jaehwa, Luhan, Sehun and Eunkyung gathered at their usual meeting place at the park. There’s an empty seat; Jongin’s favourite seat ever. “Do you remember how hard Kkamjong tried to shove me away from that seat? Just because he likes that spot, tch,” Sehun said with a shaky voice.

“You can’t beat my incident when Jongin tried to take a peek while I was bathing. He then forced me to open the door because he wants to know how a girl’s (you know the thing) looks like. Tch, boys,” Jaehwa replied, with tears rolling down her cheek.

“It’s been a year already, yet I still don’t know how he could leave the world just like that. I thought he was joking, but… I didn’t know it’s his last words,” Luhan shook his head, remembering the incident from a year ago.

“I think I knew why. I didn’t sleep when you guys came into my ward before,” Sehun paused. “He whispered this to me, “You know, if you’re really going to die, I’d want to substitute my soul with yours. Let me die, because I failed to be a man and a friend. I pray to God to let you live longer and to take me away. Please, be alive!” I never took it seriously but maybe God saw his sincerity.”

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?! HE SAID THAT TO YOU?” Eunkyung raised her voice, maybe she’s surprised to hear that. Jaehwa had her jaws dropped while Luhan had his usual blur face on him.

“I’m pretty sure he’s there, on that chair, laughing at us now,” Sehun giggled a bit, trying to hold back his tears.

“Or maybe goes around like, ‘Kkamjong is the best, because Kim Jongin is Kkamjong!’” Eunkyung replied while giggling.

“Or maybe he just sit there and look at us, trying hard to understand everything that we say,” Jaehwa laughed.

“Whatever he will do, I know he’s here with us now,” Luhan said, eyes on the chair. Everyone automatically shifted their views to the chair, as if they’re looking at Jongin.

“We won’t forget you, Kim Jongin. Even years passed, you’re always in our heart,” Unknowingly, all 4 of them said the same line in their heart.

////////

End of story and sorry it ;___; I'm typing this instead of studying for my test which will start in 7 hours time. Anyway, thank you for your interest in my first fanfic ever (I wrote oneshot before this). Please leave your comments so I can improve the way of my writing. Thank you again for reading! <3