lesser comments -- Losing interest? ^.^"

[D.H.A.B. #15]

" Exhausted? " I asked him as I threw myself on the big soft bed. He grinned and nodded " Eum.. but not because of you " so sweet of him. He piggyback me for real to the hotel. It was funny when we walked in the lady at the reception had her eyes wide open and chuckled a little too. She welcomed us warmly thinking that we were a couple. We looked at each other quite flustered and we told her that we weren't.

I clearly remember how surprised she was, actually it also seemed that she didn't buy it but whatever. We asked her two rooms and guess what? She said there was just a room. Like really? I would've slapped that pretty face of her asking her if she was making a fool out of us but I was too tired and I let it go. It was weird. I felt like we were in those drama where boy and girl are forced to share the same room bla bla bla.

He placed our stuff on the table and stretched his tired body. I watched him carefully then I took a pillow and leaned my head on it " I think I owe you an apology.. " I really do. I've been really mean to him and yet he's here with me.

" When I told you those stuff, I wasn't thinking straight. I've been told that I'm keeping you with me and that it's unfair to you.. I'm sorry "


Is that so? I asked myself. It was really cute, she was cute. I could see how hard it was for her. She wasn't someone who usually apologized but she was trying really hard to apologize to me. I was touched and also relieved that I finally figured out the reason behind her blast. She explained that she wanted to prove to herself that that person was wrong but later realized that that person was right. She was indeed keeping me with her and was being unfair to me. She apologized again.

" Don't you think that.. maybe it's me who want to be kept by you? "

She blinked once. I think she was putting everything together before answering but my phone rang. It was on the bed so she rolled over and grabbed it. She checked on the screen and her eyes widened reading " Hanna? Who it is? "

I quickly grabbed it and answered that it was just a friend of mine. I didn't know why I got nervous when she read it. I had to pick the call and walked out the room. I wondered what was all of that. Getting nervous and walking out. I leaned my back on the wall and hit my head on it while I started talking with Hanna.

She was just a friend I met during that trip at the beach. It was the day that Nicole vent her anger and stress on me. I was really hurt and bothered. That's why I decided to take a walk. I met Hanna. She was really pretty and she was nice too. We talked and talked. I thought that maybe that was what Nicole wanted: leaving her living her life and for me to live mine. We exchanged our contacts and up to now we're keeping in touch. It should be fine. I shouldn't be afraid of Nicole getting mad at me. She won't get mad at me since we're not dating and.... I should really calm myself. I rubbed my chest and took a deep breath.


That's good. I'm happy for him. He's living his life and meeting new people. I'm really fine with it. I'm not even wondering where this Hanna popped out from. I don't care, I really don't. I walked to the bathroom and stopped right in front of the sink where above there was a big mirror. I placed my hands on the sink to keep myself still and leaned closer to look at my reflection. I don't care, I really don't. I repeated to myself. I quickly threw on myself some cold water " !! "


I was quite startled that I jumped a little. She saw my reflection on the mirror and composed herself. What's happened? I wondered. She took a towel and rubbed her face before facing me " I really have to find my twin soon " she blurted. There's something wrong and she doesn't want to talk about it. I thought.

" I mean, he must be really good-looking since he look like me, by the way, he has to thank me for looking like me.... But what's with his name, Zhang Yixing, really " I chuckled. Like why would he thank her for looking like her? They're twins. I explained her that his name wasn't weird for a Chinese name and that it sounded weird to her because she was Korean but she retorted that he was Korean too and he wasn't suppose to have that name.

---cCc---

" You were with Luhan " he suddenly blurted. Nervousness wouldn't have helped at all. I kept my cool. It's true. I just told everyone, Kikwang and Lay included, that I had to go on a trip to China because of my family. I pretty much skipped the part where Luhan was coming with me. It was because I knew how they'd have reacted. They'd have had wrong assumptions.

" I needed a translator " I answered trying to sound credible. He knitted his brows and I could see that he didn't buy it. He heaved out a deep sigh and shook his head. What was that? I wondered.

He started telling me that since his parents died he was asked to take control of their company. That's also what his dad wrote on his will: his son, heir of everything. He was still young and immature for such a big and important commitment but he has decided to accept it. For his dad, for his family.

He was interrupted by Lay and the others who appeared and sat all around the table. Lay sat next to me and dropped his arm on my shoulder. I felt his lips digging my cheek as he said " Finally here again "

" I bet he doesn't know about it " what a big mouth! I glared at Kikwang but he just shrugged acting innocent. Lay looked at me with a questioning look but I just grabbed his chin and kissed his lips. A small smirk formed on my face when I saw from the corner of my eye an annoyed Kikwang. Served you right. I thought satisfied.

Since the fight he had with Lay things between Kikwang and I changed. How could I believe that he has completely changed for good? I admitted that I actually have been blind. Maybe it was because I really wanted it to happen that I preferred to believe it.


I confronted him that night asking him why he did attack Lay. I told him to stay away from him because he was my boyfriend.

I clearly remember how his eyes suddenly flamed in anger. That flame. I recognized it. It was the same flame that I learned to get used to in the past. He grabbed me by my shoulder and with his teeth clenched " You're mine, Nicole. You know that.. whether you like it or not. You'll always be mine "

He tightened his grip on me. I felt the pain. Yes, I recognized that pain too. It wasn't just that flame and that pain but that was Kikwang: the old harsh and violent Kikwang. Just then I realized that Lay was indeed right. He didn't change.

" Hey, what's wrong? " I heard it. It was him. That calm and reassuring voice could just be him. I tilted my head and saw him. A deep sigh in relief and a grin curved on my face. He came in between and took Kikwang hands off me.

Kikwang looked at his hands which were shaking. He looked at them shocked like he couldn't believe at what he just did. He swallowed and looked at me " I'm sorry.. " he repeated it once again. No, not just once but three times " Nic, I swear it won't happen again, this time is different " what exactly was different? I retorted in my mind. I saw no difference from the past. I couldn't risk for it to happen again. I couldn't. I changed and I moved on.

I knew that his parents death hit him hard but.... I didn't care in that moment. Putting myself first, that was one of my rules. That's why I ignored his apology and stepped back when he tried to reach for me. I glared at him " Don't touch me " I said firmly. He apologized one last time and left.

" I should've known it " I muttered with a deep disappointment inside. I felt Luhan caressing my arms and softly asking me if I was fine. I was about to hit him and reassure him that I was fine. I was also about to ask him where did he go since it was late and he just came back but then I recalled the scene I made hours ago. I clenched my hand instead and got a hold of myself.

" I'm going to sleep " I said coldly and left him there. What was wrong with him? Being nice after how bad I treated him. After that we didn't talk to each other anymore until the day I found the envelope and he offered me to open it for me.

---cCc---

" Holy sh*t " the girl eyes widened startled. She then folded herself into a bow followed by the guy behind her. I blinked clueless and bluntly asked them what they were doing in Seoul. She was taken aback but I couldn't care less. It was weird to have her, them here.

I suddenly felt someone bumping into me from behind and that was Luhan who came to check who it was. He gasped " Oh.. ah.. hey " he waved his hand and greeted the two.

" Yeah, oh.. ah.. hey.. definitely a  better reaction than mine.. You really know how to control your feelings, hu? " I remarked facing him and grinning mischievously. He raised his brows dumbfounded but I just shook my head and turned at the two " You didn't come here to stand at the door, ayt? Come in " I motioned them to follow me and so they did.


That was definitely unexpected.. My mind went blank as I saw them. I was surprised and I didn't know how to react to that. I didn't know what to do or what to say but fortunately Nicole was there. She handled it very well. Very well, in her own way. She was nice to offer them drinks and snacks but she didn't forget to give some witty remarks too. She's just unstoppable and somewhat too straightforward.

I didn't expect to see you again | You left your tongues in Beijing? | Let's talk about anything, it's awkward | Did you come here to show off how happy you are?

I was just sitting there quietly. I heard that they were engaged and that they were planning to get married before the birth of their baby. I listened to her carefully. Her sweet soothing voice rang through my ears like it didn't for a very long time. She sounded happy. She was blooming: her eye-smile, her smile.

That hit me straight in my heart and wounds that I thought I healed ached again. She was happy, very happy.. without me. It was supposed to be me making her that happy. It was supposed to be me being engaged to her and having a baby with her. Everything that was supposed to didn't happen.

I clenched my fist on my lap to compose myself. He suddenly spoke. With his low and husky voice " We didn't talk properly yet.. " he started and waited for me to directly look at him. He went on saying that he would've never thought things were going to turn this way. I could tell that a long speech was coming, something explaining how it actually turned that way but I just stopped him from doing so. I didn't need to hear it, I didn't want to. I reassured that what was happened in the past didn't matter anymore and that what was important was for them to be happy. I added that it was good for the baby to grow into a united family.

From the corner of my eye I was watching Nicole who was shaking her head in disappointment. I could tell that she didn't like how I was being calm and nice towards my ex-girlfriend and my friend but that was me. I was a little jealous and my heart tightened a couple of times thinking back at the time spent together. It still hurt somehow but I was fine, really. I accepted the fact that it was over and I wished them all the best.

" We didn't come here to show off but to actually invite you.. We'd really appreciate if you could come " she pointed at the two of us and both of us looked at each other flustered. Nicole blurted that it was weird to have the ex at her wedding and also asked why in the world she was being invited.

As hours passed by Seungyeon got used to Nicole bluntness and just chuckled. She explained that Hyeongkon and her have known me since we were young and they really wanted to have me at their wedding " And I consider you, Nicole, a friend too. Please come " she put her hands together and cutely blinked at Nicole.
 

^^ cuz of obvious reasons..

..final is not too far ^^

CR:owner