Ephemeral

Written in the Wind of Whimsy

Prompt 5: Ephemeral (min 150 words)
Kim Jaejoong
305 words
 


I’m looking at you.
I’m admiring you.
It was me and you.
Ephemeral you.

 

A late afternoon walk in the park, he was enjoying the weather with a nice cool summer breeze blowing the leaves of the trees, plants and grass.  He was wearing a v-neck black shirt covered by a denim jacket, jeans and gray rubber shoes. He wore his usual earrings, rings and a long beaded necklace.

When something caught his eyes, he stopped for a moment to admire a delightful lovely black butterfly, which was gracefully flying from one flower to the next, captivating Jaejoong. He had never seen a butterfly that was as alluring as this one. It was just too exquisite.

He crossed his arms and stayed there admiring the creature before him.

He never knew he could be attracted to such thing.

But it was black, maybe, that’s what caught his attention.

He did not want to scare it away, so he just stood there following its movements with his head and eyes.

It flew nearer, and landed on a grass just near his gray rubber shoes. He was watching the slight movement of its flapping wings. It flew again, and landed right on the white shoe-lays of his shoes. He did not want to move an inch. And it stayed there for a minute and then flew away.

Jaejoong grinned as he watched it fly and as it landed in a few distance away on a small flower.

An ephemeral moment with a gorgeous black butterfly.

Taking his last look, he then walked on and continued with a leisurely pace.

People who saw him admired him from a distance and let him walk on.

Some whispered together, and even pointed at his direction, but did not come near him and left him alone.

 


A beautiful you.
Why can't I be you.
Longing to be you.
Ephemeral you.

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Comments

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Buffalohighschool18 #1
Chapter 3: I miss them all
dream_keeper88
#2
Chapter 24: Aya! This plot could be expanded into a trilogy! ^-^ This could serve as the outline. Nyahaha! I'll beta for you, if you decide to work on this :3
dream_keeper88
#3
Chapter 20: I like that you were consistent with the mood/tone. It's melancholic. Even her thinking what to eat had a wistful note to it. I actually liked that part between them the most.

Just a few things to re-consider. The first line is a set of phrases and it didn't go well with the rest of the sentences. Perhaps you can do without that line and keep us guessing what's going on than dropping the bomb of leaving the military from the beginning. Try reading it without it and the flow is much better plus his thoughts alone give us a hint on what is going on. Why wouldn't a South Korean male artist not be able to stage right? I am not comfortable writing in present tense, although I have fics using this tense but I can say it worked here. You forgot "full" next to "chock". Chock alone gives a different meaning. And "long blink" was repeated more than twice within a few words in between but I have no synonyms for it.

Keep writing :D
SoshiSaranghae
#4
Chapter 20: That...That was so touching. *wipes tear*
kpopartory
#5
Thanks for the advice, I do appreciate it.
kpopartory
#6
lolol
found my own story in the random story
May 8, 2012
kpopartory
#7
Thank you, for the comment.
I've been thinking about it, and don't know how I'd approach it.
So, I will have to leave it as is for the meantime.