Microcosm

Written in the Wind of Whimsy

 

 

Prompt 15: Microcosm (min. 100 words)

Kim Jaejoong, Kim Xiah Junsu, Park Micky Yoochun

250 words

 

 

To see the red ocean  again is an amazing sight, and it lifts our spirits.  And to feel  those sparkling waves come at us, and to breathe in this cooling breeze, as it touches us, warms us to our very core.

 

Every microsecond is a lifetime, as if it can never end.

 

It was so hard to get here, and had spent so much blood, sweat and tears, but all the hardships fade away in front of this ocean of red. The ocean seems wider somehow, and even bigger somehow.

 

If this is a microcosm of what is in the future for us, even if we can only take baby steps to achieve it, we will try our very best to take those steps. Together, we’ll even try different paths to cross to view all the red oceans, and let our breath freely take flight.

 

The clearness of the sky makes the hot red sun seems so bright from where we are standing. And beyond that sky are the bright sparkling stars shining down on us.

 

The ocean glistening happy and sad tears with us moved us.

 

We never left, we just stayed in the background for awhile to renew our breath, and only now have taken a step to be in the foreground.

 

We are spent, and in need of a lot of rest, but tomorrow, in our tomorrow, we’ll be ready again to do it all over again,  for that momentous moment with the red ocean.


 

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Buffalohighschool18 #1
Chapter 3: I miss them all
dream_keeper88
#2
Chapter 24: Aya! This plot could be expanded into a trilogy! ^-^ This could serve as the outline. Nyahaha! I'll beta for you, if you decide to work on this :3
dream_keeper88
#3
Chapter 20: I like that you were consistent with the mood/tone. It's melancholic. Even her thinking what to eat had a wistful note to it. I actually liked that part between them the most.

Just a few things to re-consider. The first line is a set of phrases and it didn't go well with the rest of the sentences. Perhaps you can do without that line and keep us guessing what's going on than dropping the bomb of leaving the military from the beginning. Try reading it without it and the flow is much better plus his thoughts alone give us a hint on what is going on. Why wouldn't a South Korean male artist not be able to stage right? I am not comfortable writing in present tense, although I have fics using this tense but I can say it worked here. You forgot "full" next to "chock". Chock alone gives a different meaning. And "long blink" was repeated more than twice within a few words in between but I have no synonyms for it.

Keep writing :D
SoshiSaranghae
#4
Chapter 20: That...That was so touching. *wipes tear*
kpopartory
#5
Thanks for the advice, I do appreciate it.
kpopartory
#6
lolol
found my own story in the random story
May 8, 2012
kpopartory
#7
Thank you, for the comment.
I've been thinking about it, and don't know how I'd approach it.
So, I will have to leave it as is for the meantime.