Exceptionally

Written in the Wind of Whimsy

Prompt 18: Exceptionally (min 100 words)

Kim Jaejoong and OC

Words: 415

 

They are sitting on a swing chair at the back garden verandah of her house.

"Why the tears? Why so sad?" She asks with concern, and  eyeing Jaejoong inquiringly. Her eyes noticing every tiny details of his features and body language. 

He is not glancing at her, but rather looking at a distance with his tears freely falling. He did not respond, and only shows a tiniest of a half smile.

"What did she do?" She can't help, but ask.

He only shakes his head.  

She wants to shake some sense into him. If only she could give him a big wallop on the head, so he'd realize how better off he is without that girl. If only she could give that girl a big lengthy rebuke for doing this to him. 'Who does she think she is. tsk tsk tsk And why is this fool so wrapped up with her. Why can't he see her true color, when it's so obvious. tsk tsk tsk'

She studies his sad eyes glistening with tears, 'Why can't those eyes look at my direction, and see me. He only sees those kind of girls, but here he is, with me, when all those girls go away and leave him.'  She half smirks, "I have my use. Its good, I guess, rather than nothing.' She squints her eyes at him, 'Fool, I'd keep you, if only, you will have me. I want to be with you. That is only wishing on my part. You will never know, and I will never tell. What ever happens in your crazy life, I will always be here to comfort you. You are exceptionally intelligent, talented, witty and charming, but a total bozo when it comes to girls. ' 

She lifts her right hand and with her two fingers reaches his nose and lightly pinches it. He turns his head to look at her. She lifts her other hand, and with both hands wipes his tears. "Since you won't tell me anything, why don't we go and  eat. You will have to help me." 

He holds her hands with his own two hands and stops her hands from wiping his tears, "I don't feel like eating." 

She shakes her head, "That won't do, you're with me in my home, that means we eat." 

He starts to say, "I really..."

She interrupts him by saying, "Come on, humor me."  Holds on to his hands while standing up, and starts pulling him up. 

 
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Buffalohighschool18 #1
Chapter 3: I miss them all
dream_keeper88
#2
Chapter 24: Aya! This plot could be expanded into a trilogy! ^-^ This could serve as the outline. Nyahaha! I'll beta for you, if you decide to work on this :3
dream_keeper88
#3
Chapter 20: I like that you were consistent with the mood/tone. It's melancholic. Even her thinking what to eat had a wistful note to it. I actually liked that part between them the most.

Just a few things to re-consider. The first line is a set of phrases and it didn't go well with the rest of the sentences. Perhaps you can do without that line and keep us guessing what's going on than dropping the bomb of leaving the military from the beginning. Try reading it without it and the flow is much better plus his thoughts alone give us a hint on what is going on. Why wouldn't a South Korean male artist not be able to stage right? I am not comfortable writing in present tense, although I have fics using this tense but I can say it worked here. You forgot "full" next to "chock". Chock alone gives a different meaning. And "long blink" was repeated more than twice within a few words in between but I have no synonyms for it.

Keep writing :D
SoshiSaranghae
#4
Chapter 20: That...That was so touching. *wipes tear*
kpopartory
#5
Thanks for the advice, I do appreciate it.
kpopartory
#6
lolol
found my own story in the random story
May 8, 2012
kpopartory
#7
Thank you, for the comment.
I've been thinking about it, and don't know how I'd approach it.
So, I will have to leave it as is for the meantime.