Warning: Before you read this chapter, make sure you've read chapter 25 first! I posted a double update, so yeah. Read ch. 25 first! Anyway, enjoy! =]

 

Chapter 26 – Closure

 

Blinding light struck her eyes.

 

She raised her forearm over her eyes and shielded them from the bright light.

 

When the light receded, she slowly placed her arm back down to her side.

 

Her eyes widened when she realized where she was.

 

It wasn’t that she was shock, this place was all too familiar to her, but she was more surprised at the fact that she was here again at this very same place she detested the most.

 

Her gaze falls on the bed in the middle of the room where a spotlight coming from above was aimed.

 

She tentatively walked towards the bed, her heart pounding faster and harder with every step she took closer.

 

Once she was standing by the bedside, she halted.

 

She stared at the lump on the bed unable to figure out what it was.

 

Something was underneath the covers.

 

A body perhaps?

 

She bent over and grabbed both ends of the cover with her hands.

 

Very carefully, she lifted the cover.

 

Her pulse quickened with every new exposed skin that was revealed.

 

Before long, the cover was off, revealing the face of the person under the covers.

 

She gasped.

 

Donghae!

 

Her eyes widen and a shriek escapes her lips as she stumbles backwards, falling on her bottom with a soft thud.

 

*Thump, thump*

 

Soft footsteps catch her ears.

 

She turns her head to the left and sees a man in a white cloak approaching her from the distance.

 

She narrowed her eyes trying to see who it was but it was too dark to determine.

 

Once the man had stepped in to the spotlight she finally recognized who it was.

 

“Heechul.”

 

Heechul stared down at her with a blank expression on his face.

 

“Heechul…Donghae, he’s…h-he’s dead.” She stutters in dismay.

 

“You killed him.” He says all of a sudden.

 

“W-what?”

 

“It’s all your fault. He’s dead because of you.”

 

“No. T-that’s not true! It was a mistake! I-I didn’t mean to!”

 

Out of nowhere, another figure emerges from the darkness.

 

“Taemin.”

 

“You killed him.” He says coldly.

 

“I-I didn’t mean to.”

 

“It’s all your fault. You murdered my brother.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You don’t deserve to live.”

 

“W-what?”

 

“You should pay for your sins.”

 

“I—”

 

Before she could say anything else, two masculine hands wrapped itself around her neck, choking her.

 

“T-Taemin!” She gasps.

 

The grip around her neck tightens.

Her gaze falls on Heechul, who was standing not too far away from them. She stared at him, her eyes begging for his help, but he just stood there motionless.

 

As the clock ticked by the seconds, she quickly felt herself running out of air.

 

She clawed on Taemin’s forearms as she continued to gasp for air.

 

Everything around her begins to blur, slowly fading into the darkness.

 

Before her eyes could fully close, she awoke from the nightmare.

 

======

 

Jessica’s body sprung up from the bed.

 

She was now sitting up, her body slightly bent forward, her chest heaving up and down as she panted heavily trying to get her normal breathing back.

 

Cold sweats covered her forehead and her neck.

 

She glanced around her surrounding to see if she was still in that dark room. To her relief, she was back in the safe haven of her bedroom. She hears light snoring beside her and her gaze immediately falls on the figure sleeping peacefully like a log beside her. She lets out a sigh.

 

It was just a dream. She thought.

 

She was glad it wasn’t real, though it felt very real to her. It’s like one of those dreams she used to have after Donghae’s passing. But why was she getting these nightmares again? She thought she had already gotten over it. She no longer felt guilty for what happened and she had already stopped blaming herself for Donghae’s death a long time ago. She already moved on.

 

Or has she?

 

Has she really moved on, or did she only momentarily pushed those thoughts aside as she got distracted by Taeyeon’s presence?

 

No.

 

She moved on…

 

…right?

 

Jessica shook her head of those doubtful thoughts.

 

No. She already moved on. That’s right. No need to mull over it any longer.

 

After dismissing her last thoughts, she lay back down on the bed and scooted close to Taeyeon’s body. She carefully laid her head on Taeyeon’s chest and draped an arm over Taeyeon’s waist, snuggling herself comfortably into Taeyeon’s arms. Gradually, her lids descended over her eyes and she soon drifted back to sleep.

 

======

 

“How are you feeling unnie?”

 

“I’m doing well. I’m still healing, but I’ll get there.”

 

The two girls opposite her nodded simultaneously.

 

“We were really worried when we heard you got into a car accident, unnie. We’re glad you’re okay now.” Seohyun commented.

“Yeah. We were very surprised because you were even on the paper!” Yoona remarked.

 

“Wow, I didn’t think the accident was that serious that it would actually make it to the newspaper. I guess nothing interesting has yet to occur here in Seoul that they would even take notice of a small accident like that.” Taeyeon joked.

 

Seohyun frowned. “Unnie, I don’t think you should be joking around like that. It may not have seem serious to you, but to all of us it was.”

 

“Yeah. Especially to Sica unnie.” Yoona added. She leaned forward and covered with one hand as if she was going to whisper something. “I didn’t actually see it, but I heard she was a mess in the hospital. The nurses told me she went nuts. I heard a fight even broke out. Yikes! But they told me no one got hurt though.”

 

Suddenly Taeyeon felt bad. Guilt swarmed her chest for taking the accident too lightly. It wasn’t serious to her because she knew she was never in grave danger, but she underestimated how it affected everyone else.

 

Especially Jessica.

 

No wonder, in the hospital, Jessica became upset right after she told her about her situation. At the time she didn’t think too much of it, but now, hearing Yoona and Seohyun’s description of how distressed Jessica was, she felt a heavy weight in her heart. She can only imagine how upset Jessica must have been during the night of the accident and those hours that Jessica waited not knowing if she’ll ever wake up from her sleep. It must have been heart breaking for her.

 

Noticing Taeyeon’s silence, Seohyun quickly spoke up. “Don’t worry, unnie. Jessica unnie was in good hands. Her siblings and her friends took care of her.” Seohyun assured her.

 

Taeyeon just nodded, but she still felt bad.

 

“Hey, I’ve got our drinks.” Jessica announced with a bright smile on her face.

 

Taeyeon looked up at her. Though Jessica was smiling genuinely, she could tell there was still pain behind her eyes. She couldn’t really tell what it was that was bothering the girl, but she knew she was stressing over something.

 

Once Jessica have seated beside her, Taeyeon took her hand and held it on her lap. Jessica stared at her with an amused expression. Taeyeon merely smiled back and tightened her hold as she resumed her conversation with the girls.

 

======

 

After their lunch, the four of them headed to the nearby mall to hang out. Jessica and Taeyeon walked hand in hand behind the two younger girls.

 

“Hey, Jessica.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Um…is something bothering you?”

 

Jessica looked over to her and shook her head. “Nope. Not really.”

 

“Are you sure? I mean…are you…mad with me?”

 

Jessica stopped on her tracks and turned fully to face Taeyeon.

 

“Mad at you? Of course not. What made you think I was mad you?”

 

Taeyeon scratched the back of her neck. “Oh. It’s just…at the hospital, you seemed very troubled after I told you I was never in real danger. Maybe it was just me, but I thought you seemed upset about it.” Taeyeon explained.

 

Jessica sighed. “Honestly? I was a little upset, but not with you. I was just…so worried about you the entire time, bawling my eyes out, thinking that your life was in danger, but suddenly hearing that you were never in danger I just…I feel like a fool for worrying. I felt cheated, almost. I know it may seem childish of me for thinking this way but I can’t help it. I felt hurt.” Jessica admitted solemnly as she looked down at her shoes.

 

Taeyeon lifted Jessica’s chin, making Jessica look at her in the eyes. “Jessica, you’re not fool, so don’t feel that way. You’ve got every reason to worry about me. Honestly, when I woke up in heaven, or wherever I was just now, I thought I was dead too. Sooyoung and Sunny, the angels, they were the ones who informed me about my current status and about my inability to die. If I knew about it beforehand, I would have told you and I would have let you know that my life was never in danger. I heard from a lot of people how hard you took it. I’m really sorry for making you cry…and for making you worry for nothing.”

 

Jessica smiled. “It’s okay. Now I know. I’m just glad you’re fine.” Jessica said planting a kiss on Taeyeon’s palm that was holding her chin up.

 

Taeyeon smiled back in return.

 

“I love you.” Taeyeon whispered lovingly as she placed a soft kiss on Jessica’s lips.

 

“I love you too.” Jessica murmured through the kiss.

 

The two engaged into a passionate kiss, forgetting that they were in a public place.

 

“Yo lovebirds!”

 

Taeyeon and Jessica broke the kiss and turned towards the sound of the voice.

 

Yoona stared at them with her arms crossed over her chest and a smirk playing on her lips, clearly amused by what she just witnessed. Likewise, Seohyun was jumping and flailing her arms excitedly as she fangirled right beside Yoona.

 

“Are you two just going to eat each other’s faces or are we gonna go shopping?” Yoona teased.

 

Taeyeon and Jessica both blushed embarrassed, before walking over towards the two younger girls.

 

======

 

She blinked.

 

Where is she?

 

This isn’t her home.

 

She twisted her head to the left, then to the right to see if she can spot anything that’ll help her identify her location but there was nothing. All she saw was a barren field of grass that seemed to stretch on and on at all sides. She was the only one standing in this deserted field.

 

She wrapped her arms around herself in a protective stance. Somehow the thought of being alone frightened her. She turned around.

 

Although she’s not sure where she is, she could tell that the place is eerily familiar. She can’t pinpoint the exact name of her location, but she knows she’s been here before, once or twice perhaps.

 

Out of the blue, a bright light flashed out of nowhere blinding her for a second. She covered her eyes with her arms on instinct.

After the light receded, she gasped in shock to see who it was standing before her.

 

It’s Donghae.

 

Unlike their previous encounter, this time he isn’t unconscious. This time he was very much alive and breathing.

 

He stood beside his tombstone, clad in the black suit he wore for his funeral. He stood there, his hands inside his pants’ pockets, his weight only supported by one leg, and his signature playful smirk plastered on his face.

 

Jessica stared in awe at the person before her. The man looks like the exact replica of her Donghae. She couldn’t believe it. Is it really her Donghae? Or is it just her mind playing tricks on her? Honestly, she can’t tell.

 

He begins to walk towards her as she stayed rooted on her spot.

 

He stopped at an arm’s length away from her.

 

“Hello.” He greeted.

 

“H-hi.” Jessica replied back nervously.

 

He smiled his charming smile leaving Jessica in a pile of mush as a wave of butterfly is released in her stomach.

 

“Come.” He said holding his palm out. “We need to talk.”

 

Jessica stared at the hand warily before placing her palm hesitantly in his.

 

Hand in hand, the two of them walked across the grassy field in silence. As they walked, Donghae kept his gaze ahead while Jessica stole glances at him.

 

After a while of walking, they came to the edge of the field and settled on a wooden bench that overlooked the city.

 

Still staring ahead, he spoke. “Jessica, how have you been?”

 

“I-I’m doing fine.”

 

“That’s good to hear.” He shifted his gaze to her and eyed her. A content smile soon crossed his lips. “You seem a lot better too since the last time I saw you.” He commented.

 

Jessica gave him a puzzled look.

 

“That last time I saw you was during my funeral. You never visited me afterwards.” He explained.

 

Unexpectedly, there weren’t any sadness or spite laced in his voice when he said that, only nonchalance and casualty which made Jessica feel guilty for not ever visiting him after the funeral. She looked down at her palms that were laid open on her lap sadly.

 

“I’m sorry. I wanted to visit you, really, I did, I was just…I…I was scared…and ashamed.” Tears began to build up in her eyes. “Scared because I couldn’t accept your death and ashamed because I couldn’t save you.” A tear slid down her cheek. “I-I didn’t have the face and the courage to stand before your grave and ask for you forgiveness…not after what I’ve done…more like what I couldn’t do. I felt undeserving of your forgiveness. I just couldn’t do it. Even now, I still feel undeserving of your forgiveness.”

 

“Jessica, please don’t feel that way. You are deserving of my forgiveness, even though there’s nothing for you to feel sorry for to begin with. And what makes you think I won’t forgive you? You did everything you could do to save my life and for that I’m grateful enough.”

 

“No.” Jessica shook her head. “I could have done more! If Heechul operated on you he could have saved you! But because of my stubbornness I caused you death! Don’t you see!? It’s me Donghae! It’s my fault you’re dead! It’s all my fault!” She cried. Tears sprouted from her eyes as she broke down from the overwhelming guilt she felt.

 

Donghae frowned. “No, Jessica. Stop blaming yourself. There wasn’t much you, or Heechul, or anyone could do. It was hopeless from the start. I was going to die anyway.”

 

“Yah, Donghae, don’t talk like that!”

 

“You don’t understand. You see Jessica, it was my time.”

 

Jessica paused and stared at him.

 

He smiled solemnly. “It was my time to go. If I didn’t perish that night, I would have died a month afterwards.”

 

Jessica blinked. “W-what?”

 

“I never told you but…” He turned away and stared down his palms. “…I had a heart disease.”

 

Jessica’s mouth opened agape in shock.

 

“I knew for quite some time but it never bothered me. I lived my life carefree without regrets because I wanted to experience life as fully as possible. I had fun. I even fell in love.” He paused momentarily to smile at her before returning his gaze back down on his hands.

 

“I was young. I didn’t have a care in the world; didn’t think much and didn’t worry much…well… that was until my doctor told me I only had one month left to live before I go. That’s when the reality of my condition finally came crashing down on me. I was depressed for a while after the doctor broke the news to me. I didn’t have the heart to tell you because I knew you’d be hurt if you ever find out and I didn’t have the strength to tell my family about it either. Everyone would have been devastated.

 

“I knew I had to break it off with you. The fight we had that night, I saw it as an opportunity to let you go. I thought that if you break up with me it wouldn’t hurt you as much if I was the one to break up with you, so I intentionally made you angry. But my plan didn’t work. You didn’t break up with me. You just told me to leave and I did.

 

“After I left your apartment I headed to the bar for a drink…to suppress the depression I’ve harbored. I shouldn’t have drove home that night. I should have just hopped on a taxi and got home safe, but I didn’t…and I ended up in a car accident. At first I was glad I got into accident, that way you wouldn’t have to find out about my heart disease but I underestimated how much it would affect you.

 

“All those times I was trying my hardest to prevent you from getting hurt but ironically I ended up hurting you even more anyway, and for that I’m very sorry. I’m sorry you had to suffer for such a long time, bottling everything up inside of you, and taking in every obstacle that came your way all by yourself. Please don’t blame yourself anymore Jessica. You’ve done nothing wrong. My actions brought me to my demise, not you. Please let it go and live on without regrets. You still have a long life ahead. You should enjoy it and live life to the fullest.”

 

Hearing Donghae’s strife, Jessica burst into tears.

 

Donghae cupped her face and brushed the tears away with his fingers.

 

“And don’t cry for me anymore. You have someone new now, don’t you?” He smiled a sad smile.

 

Seeing the sad expression on his face, a swirl of emotion swept through Jessica’s body overwhelming her. She couldn’t take it anymore. She threw her arms around him and held him tight.

 

“I miss you. I really miss you.” She cried on his chest. “I’m sorry!”

 

Donghae returned the embrace and her hair affectionately. “I miss you too. And I forgive you.” He whispered through her brown locks.

 

Jessica cried even harder.

 

In response, Donghae held her even tighter.

 

They stayed like that for a while, just holding and comforting each other.

 

Donghae was the first to pull away.

 

“You should go.” He told her.

 

“But I want to stay here with you.”

 

Donghae shook his head in disapproval. “I’m sorry but you can’t stay here. You have to go back to the real world now. If you stay here any longer, you might not wake up ever again. You’ve been here long enough as it is. Go, Jessica. Leave now before you get stuck here forever. Go to her. She’s waiting for you.”

 

“But—”

 

“Goodbye Jessica.”

 

Before Jessica could protest further, Donghae pushed her by the shoulders and Jessica fell into a deep dark abyss.

 

Jessica!

 

Jessica!

 

======

 

“Jessica wake up!”

 

Jessica startled awake from the loud incessant voice calling out her name. Her eye lids fluttered open revealing Taeyeon’s frantic brown eyes staring down at her with concern.

 

“Taeyeon?” Jessica rubbed her eyes tiredly with her hand.

 

Relief spread through Taeyeon’s face when Jessica finally opened her eyes and spoke to her.

 

“Omo, Jessica, you scared me! Don’t you ever do that again do you hear me?” Taeyeon scolded, tears welling up in her eyes as she stared at Jessica’s fully awakened state. She leaned forward and engulfed Jessica into a hug. She buried her face into Jessica’s neck taking in Jessica’s familiar scent and hugged her even tighter.

 

Jessica slowly raised her arms and returned the embrace.

 

After a while, they broke apart.

 

“W-what happened?” Jessica asked Taeyeon, confused about what made Taeyeon frantic.

 

“When I woke up, you…you were crying and kicking and screaming, pushing me away and mumbling nonsense. I- I thought something bad happened to you. I’ve been trying to wake you for the past five minutes but you won’t stir awake no matter what I do. Of course I started to get worried. But what frightened me the most was when you suddenly stopped breathing.”

 

Jessica’s eyes widened in shock. She actually stopped breathing?

 

“I tried to resuscitate you but you still won’t wake up. I tried it a couple more times, hoping you’ll start breathing again, but nothing happened. I almost thought of giving up because…” Tears welled up in Taeyeon’s eyes. “…because I thought…” Taeyeon choked on a sob. “I-I thought I lost you.” She broke down, releasing the floodgates once more. “I really thought I lost you Jessica!” She sobbed even harder.

 

Jessica’s heart broke at the sight of Taeyeon’s tears. Without wasting another second, she pulled the girl into her arms and held her tight.

 

“Ssshh…” She cooed. “Don’t cry. I’ll never leave you, okay? I’m still here and I’ll always be here.” Jessica assured her.

 

Taeyeon nodded in Jessica’s chest as she laced her arms securely around Jessica’s waist.

 

======

 

“Taengoo.”

 

“Hm?” Taeyeon looked up from the TV and turned to Jessica who just sat down beside her.

 

“Can we go somewhere today?”

 

“Yeah, sure. Where do you want to go?”

 

Jessica smiled. “I want you to meet someone special.”

 

======

 

“Jessica, where are we going?”

 

After lunch, Jessica drove her up a hill just outside the city. It was a long drive. Throughout the journey she questioned Jessica about their destination but Jessica just kept avoiding the question and diverting the topic into something else. It’s been bugging her like crazy and she can’t take the suspense anymore.

 

“Sooyeon-ah, tell me where we’re going.”

 

“Be patient Taeyeon. We’re almost there.”

 

Jessica said as she peeked over her shoulder and flashed Taeyeon a smile. Taeyeon could only sigh in defeat and follow the girl to wherever she wanted to take her since she was sure Jessica will never tell her until they get there.

 

After walking for quite some time across the endless field atop the hill, they came across a grave.

 

Jessica let go of Taeyeon’s hand and approached the tombstone. She plopped herself down in front of it and gestured for Taeyeon to do the same. Taeyeon hesitantly sat down beside Jessica and stared at the tombstone before them. She read the name on the tombstone and was surprised to see Donghae’s name engraved on it.

 

She turned her gaze to Jessica and watched as the girl pulled her legs up to her chest, hugging them, and resting her chin on her knees.

 

Jessica stared at the tombstone in silence.

 

Taeyeon didn’t say anything and just waited until Jessica was ready to speak.

 

After a moment of silence, Jessica finally spoke.

 

“This is Donghae’s grave.” She said.

 

“Donghae? You mean your ex-fiancé?”

 

Jessica nodded.

 

“I…haven’t visited his grave since the funeral. Mostly because I didn’t have the courage to face him after what happened.”

 

“What…exactly happened? I only know about you feeling responsible for his death.”

 

Jessica explained to Taeyeon everything that happened; from her begging Heechul to let her do the operation to her not being able to bring him back to life.

 

Taeyeon nodded in understanding after she finished her story.

 

“What made you suddenly want to visit him now?” Taeyeon asked curiously.

 

“Last night…when you found me thrashing in my sleep, he…he visited me in my dream. We talked. Although it was a short talk he managed to get through to me…talked to me into forgiving myself and stop hating myself for what happened. I guess you can say our talk provided me with the closure I needed. After a whole year of self-loathing, I finally came to terms with myself and I’m finally able to forgive myself for what happened to him. And he forgave me too. After hearing his forgiveness, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I’ve never felt so free...so alive. For the first time after his death, I can finally confidently say that I’m moving forward. I’m finally moving on.” Jessica released a sigh of relief.

 

Taeyeon couldn’t be any happier. She took Jessica’s hand and kissed the back of it. “I’m glad to hear that.”

 

Jessica turned to her and smiled.

 

“I really am.” Taeyeon smiled back.

 

Jessica untangled her arms around her legs and scooted close to Taeyeon, wrapping her arms around Taeyeon’s waist, and resting her head on Taeyeon’s shoulder. Taeyeon drapped her arm around Jessica’s shoulder and pulled her closer. Jessica shut her eyes for a moment and savored the warmth of Taeyeon’s embrace.

 

They stayed like that for awhile, until Taeyeon broke the silence.

 

“So…aren’t you going to introduce me to Donghae? Isn’t that why you drove me up here for?”

 

When she finally remembered what she came her for, Jessica quickly pulled away and began the introduction.

 

“Taeyeon, this is Donghae. Donghae, this is Taeyeon…my girlfriend...my love.” Jessica said sweetly as she smiled at Taeyeon.

 

The two of them stayed by the grave the entire afternoon, Jessica doing most of the talking and Taeyeon just nodding and giving comments and replies from time to time until the sky turned orange. Finally, Taeyeon and Jessica bid farewell to Donghae, promising to visit him again son. With their arms linked, the two of them headed back to Jessica’s car.

 

The two were too lost into their conversation that they didn’t notice another person, who was also busy with their own conversation on their phone, walking straight at them. The three of them collided at each other causing the other person to fall to the ground.

 

Taeyeon gasped. She quickly rushed over to the person and helped them back up on their feet.

 

“Omo! We’re really sorry!” She apologized as she bowed her head profusely at the stranger.

 

The other person seemed  very irritated by the incident.

 

“Why don’t you watch where you’re going, huh?” The person said annoyed as they dusted themselves off. The person raised their head to yell more at Taeyeon. “You could have seriously hurt—”

 

The person suddenly stopped talking and stared wide eyed at Taeyeon in shock.

 

“T-Taeyeon…?”

 

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A/N:  Phew! Finally got that out of the way. Sorry for taking so long to update. I kind of lost my mojo Lol. Anyway, I will try to update soon! I hoped you guys enjoyed the double update! Tell me what you think! Who's the stranger they bumped into? I think you guys know who it is though. ^.^ Btw, there's only about 6-7 chapters left! This fic is coming to a close folks!  

 

Anyway, thank you for reading and commenting! Comments are very much appreciated! And welcome new readers! =]