Chapter 25 – A step forward

 

“She pulled through.”

 

She recalled Heechul telling her as soon as the operation terminated. She was relief to know that Taeyeon was alive but she still can’t help but feel anxious. It has already been 24 hours since the operation ended and Taeyeon has yet to wake up from her deep slumber. She went to Heechul about it, afraid that Taeyeon might have slipped into a an unprecedented coma, but he assured her that she didn’t. He advised her to be patient and allow Taeyeon to rest, and eventually she’ll wake up in her own pace.

 

And that was what Jessica did. Up until now, she is still waiting for Taeyeon to open her eyes and pull her into her warm arms again that she misses dearly. Although it has only been a whole day since she last heard Taeyeon’s soothing voice, she already misses it. She also misses Taeyeon’s soft, gentle caresses and sweet kisses that Taeyeon always showered her every single day to assure her of her long lasting love for her. But now she’s deprived of those things. And it’s all her fault.

 

Her hand tightened its hold on Taeyeon’s pale hand.

 

“Taeyeon-ah, please wake up.” Her lips quivered. And when she thought that her eyes have already dried from tears, her eyes starts to moisten again.

 

Just then the door quietly slid open.

 

Jessica quickly wiped her tears away with her palms. She quickly peeked over her shoulder  to see who had entered the room.

 

“Unnie…”

 

It was her sister.

 

Jessica turned back around and settled her gaze back on Taeyeon’s sleeping form, seemingly ignoring her little sister’s presence when in truth she was just afraid to face her sister.

 

Krystal frowned at her sister’s reaction.

 

She’s still mad. She concluded.

 

On the wall to the right, Krystal spotted a folding chair leaning on it. She grabbed the chair, unfolded it, and placed it right beside her sister. She quietly sat down.

 

Jessica watched from the corner of her eyes Krystal’s every movement. Once Krystal was seated, silence enveloped the two of them.

 

After a minute or so, Krystal finally found the courage to speak up.

 

“I’m sorry.” She said.

 

Jessica didn’t react, still unsure what to say.

 

This made Krystal feel even more uneasy. Guilt was eating her up from the inside. She recalled what happened the night before.

 

When Tiffany, Yonghwa, and her arrived at the hospital yesterday night, they encountered a hysterical Jessica. They all went to comfort her after Heechul left for the operation but Jessica was in daze. For about an hour or so all she did was stare at the wall. She was worried about her sister’s welfare so she tried to comfort her. But that didn’t turn out as well as she had thought.

 

======

 

“Unnie, she’ll pull through. I know she will.” Krystal assured Jessica as she held Jessica’s hand in one hand while her other hand busied itself by rubbing comforting circles on Jessica’s back.

 

Jessica’s head suddenly jerked up from her statement and snapped towards her direction.

 

Krystal was taken aback by the intensity of her gaze.

 

“This is all your fault.”

 

Jessica spat.

 

“Unnie…”

 

Jessica grabbed both of Krystal’s wrists and pushed Krystal’s hands away from her, as if disgusted by them.

 

“Don’t you dare touch me you betrayer!” Jessica scowled, venom and spite laced in each word she spoke.

 

Krystal had to cringe. Jessica’s words cut deep like a knife. But why is she treating her this way? What has she done wrong to deserve this? Didn’t they settle this issue already? Krystal wondered. She was completely perplexed.

 

“Unnie, what are you talking about? I didn’t betray you, I—”

 

“Don’t you dare lie!” Jessica barked atop of her lungs, earning her the ears and the curious gazes of the passerby.

 

Tiffany, noticing the gravity of the situation, decided to intervene before it could escalate into a full blown fight. “Jessie, calm down. You’re just stressed, don’t let it get to you.”  She tried to reason, but Jessica shook her head vehemently.

 

“No! I am not stressed!”

 

Jessica rose from her seat and took a step back from the plastic seats where they were seated.

 

“This...this is all your fault!” She pointed a finger at Krystal.

 

Krystal stared wide eyed at the finger. “W-what?”

 

“If-if you didn’t develop those feelings for Taeyeon then we wouldn’t be in this predicament! We wouldn’t have fought and there wouldn’t have been any misunderstandings! You knew how much I love her and you saw how much I cared for her, but you…you still had the guts to try and steal her away from me! How could you!?” Tears ran down Jessica’s face.

 

Hearing Jessica’s words, Krystal finally understood what Jessica meant earlier by the word, “betrayer.” She felt horrible.

 

“Unnie…I-I didn’t mean to develop feelings for her. I just—I’m sorry!”

 

“No! You’re not sorry at all! If you were, you would have stayed away from her! But you didn’t! You still pushed your way through! And now she’s in there fighting for her life! This is all your fault!”

 

Krystal lowered her head in guilt. Her unnie was right. They were happy before she developed those feelings for Taeyeon. Because of her idiocy and her recklessness, she ruined her sister’s relationship. It’s all her fault.

 

“I’m so sorry, unnie. P-please forgive me.” Krystal raised her head, eyes stinging from the tears, as she pleaded for Jessica’s forgiveness. She clutched onto Jessica’s hands desperately and begged for her forgiveness.

 

Infuriated, Jessica shut her eyes tight and shook her head. She pried Krystal’s fingers off her hands and pushed them away. “No! I won’t! Stay away from me!” Jessica cried.

 

“Noona that’s enough!”

 

After watching everything from the sidelines for quite some time, Yonghwa finally snapped. He has had enough of her older sister’s outbursts and unnecessary accusations. This has got to stop once and for all. He rose from his seat and stood right in front of Jessica, staring at her straight in the eyes.

 

“Noona, you’re being very insensitive right now! Do you really think you’re the only one hurting by what happened? We’re all hurting too!” Yonghwa stated as he turned sideways, revealing a bawling Krystal and a crying Tiffany trying to comfort Krystal.

 

Jessica’s mouth was clamped shut, unable to respond to the heart-wrenching scene before her.

 

Yonghwa pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath before continuing. “I can understand that you’re probably hurting more than us, but your accusations and your hurtful words towards Krystal are very uncalled for. Krystal’s your younger sister, or have you forgotten? She’s never been in love before. It’s quite amazing,really, how she managed to keep her feelings at bay, even though it was difficult to do so in the first place.

 

“Do you really think it was easy for her to see someone she grew fond of to love someone else? Do you know how it feels to know that the person you love will never love you back? And do you know how difficult it was to fall for someone who you knew you shouldn’t have fell for to beging with? I can tell you that it wasn’t easy for her at all. I know because I witnessed all of her suffering. She was torn inside and she was hurting but even so…even so she never bothered you about it you know why? Because she care for you. She knew you’d be heartbroken if you ever found out about her feelings and she didn’t want to hurt you. She loves you, noona, and you know it too.

 

“But you…you can’t even see her efforts. You’re supposed to be the older sister here. You should be the one understanding of her situation and consoling her instead of being selfish and blaming her for everything. I know it was just your emotions talking right now and you were blinded by grief, but I can’t tolerate it. No. I won’t tolerate it. Krystal has been through enough and she doesn’t deserve to be treated this way.”

 

Yonghwa walked over to where Krystal sat and gently pulled her up from the chair.

 

“Come on, Krys. Let’s go.” He shot Jessica one last glare before walking off with Krystal towards the elevators.

 

Still shaken up, Krystal just blindly followed his older brother out. Before Yonghwa and her could turn the corner, she peeked over her shoulder one last time to see Jessica looking away and staring at the ground.

 

======

 

Jessica was right. It was all her fault. If she didn’t develop feelings for Taeyeon then this would have never happened. She had already accepted her mistake. All she longs for now is her sister’s amnesty. She just wish her sister can accept her apology and forgive her.

 

“I’m really sorry unnie. It was all my fault. I-I shouldn’t have done what I’ve done. I know what I did was wrong. I should have known better. Because of my feelings, I’ve caused this whole mess and for that I’m really sorry. Please f-forgive me.” Her voice faltered by the end. She lowered her head down and hid the tears that has formed in her eyes.

 

Jessica finally tore her eyes away from Taeyeon and stared sympathetically at her sister.

 

After Yonghwa’s scolding the night before, she finally got her senses back. He was right about everything; about her being selfish, about her being blind, and about her being a bad sister.

 

Jessica shifted on her seat and turned to Krystal. Slowly, she moved to the edge of her seat and extended her arms around her sister’s small frame, pulling Krystal in to an embrace.

 

Krystal couldn’t help but reciprocate the gesture.

 

“No, Krystal. I’m sorry.” Jessica said as she Krystal’s hair. “All this time I’ve been so selfish, neglecting your feelings and only thinking about myself. You’ve been suffering too but I did nothing to console you. Instead, I’ve become clouded by enmity and jealousy, and I ended up hurting you even more. I’ve been a very bad sister to you. I’m really sorry, Krys. I hope you can forgive me.”

 

Krystal pulled away slightly and shook her head. “You did nothing wrong unnie. I was at fault. If I didn’t develop those feelings then—”

 

Jessica held up her palm and stopped Krystal from speaking further. “No. Stop. You were never at fault. You can’t control who you fall in love with. No one can, so stop blaming yourself and your feelings. If you don’t unnie will be sad.”

 

Krystal stared at her sister in the eyes. After a while, she nodded. “Ok.”

 

Jessica smiled. “I’m really again sorry Krystal…for everything I’ve put you through.”

 

“It’s alright unnie. I never blamed you.”

 

Jessica gave her a small smile. “Thank you. I promise, I will earn your trust back and I will be a good unnie again.”

 

The two sisters finished it off with a hug.

 

After they pulled away, Jessica returned her attention back to Taeyeon.

 

Krystal noticed the distant look on her sister’s face and she can’t help but feel for her. She moved forward and wrapped an arm around her sister’s waist. She laid her head on her sister’s shoulder and nuzzled her head in a comfortable position.

 

“She’ll wake up soon.” Krystal whispered in a hush tone.

 

Jessica could only nod as she wished for the same thing.

 

======

 

“I have to this!”

 

“You know the protocol Jessica! You’re not mentally stable enough to perform the surgery!”

 

“I have to do this Heechul! I have to!”

 

“You’ll risk his life!”

 

“I already risked his life the second I pushed him away. I have to make it right Heechul.”

 

“Jessica…I can’t.”

 

“You have to let me do this! He’s my responsibility! If he dies…if he dies, then I don’t know what I’ll do. Please…I beg you. Let me do this.”

 

.

 

“Dr. Jung we’re losing him fast!”

 

“We can do this! Just a little more!”

 

“But Dr. Jung—”

 

“I said do it!”

 

“O-ok.”

 

.

 

Beeeeeeeep…

 

“Flat line! Flat line!”

 

“Dr. Jung!”

 

“No, no, no! Hand me the defibrillator!”

 

“500 volts!”

 

“Clear!”

 

Beeeeeeeep…

 

“Still flat!”

 

“700 volts!”

 

“Clear!”

 

Beeeeeeeep…

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Again! Clear!”

 

Beeeeeeeep…

 

“Dr. Jung…”

 

“No…no…no…again! Clear!”

 

Beeeeeeeep…

 

“Dr. Jung…he’s…he’s gone.”

 

“No! We can still resuscitate him!”

 

“Dr. Jung, he’s gone…it’s over.”

 

“No! No! No!”

 

“Dr. Jung stop! He’s dead!”

 

“No!”

 

======

 

“No…no…no…I said no!”

 

Jessica’s head sprung up from it’s resting position in her forearms her breath ragged, heart beat pounding loudly, and forehead perspiring profusely.

 

She hasn’t had that nightmare for quite some time. Ever since Taeyeon’s sudden appearance in her life her nightmares vanished. Why has it come back? Why now? She wondered.

 

“Sica?”

 

Jessica awoke from her thoughts at the sound of the familiar voice.

 

She turned her head to her side to find Taeyeon sitting up, staring at her with a smile playing on her face.

 

Jessica blinked several times. “T-Taeyeon?” She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Was Taeyeon really awake?

 

“Hi.” Taeyeon waved at her dorkily.

 

Hearing just a simple word come out from her beloved’s lips brought all of her pent up emotions surging back through her system. The worry, the agony, and the guilt, they all swarmed her heart at the same time.

 

Her chest begins to heave up and down and tears begin to sting her eyes. Before she knew it, droplets are already pouring down her face.

 

Taeyeon’s eyes widened in alarm. “S-Sica? Why are you crying? Please don’t cry.” She cooed, trying to calm the crying girl.

 

Jessica only sobbed harder.

 

Taeyeon panicked. She leaned forward and cupped Jessica’s face with both hands, brushing away the tears with her thumbs.

 

“I’m sorry if I worried you…again.” She apologized sincerely as she continued to wipe away the tears. She felt bad. This was the second time Jessica had to see her in a hospital and she knows how much it bothered Jessica to have to visit someone in a hospital. It reminded her too much of her ex-fiancé.

 

Jessica shook her head dismissing Taeyeon’s apology. She placed both her hands on top of Taeyeon’s hands that were still on her face, ceasing Taeyeon’s movements and focusing Taeyeon’s attention to her.

 

“It’s not that, Taeyeon. Well, I admit, I was worried, but I’m not crying right now because of worry. I’m crying because I’m so happy to see you awake.” Jessica said with a small smile.

 

Taeyeon’s lips curved up. “I’m happy to see you too, Sica.”

 

Hearing Taeyeon’s answer, the corner of Jessica’s lips tugged up into a full blown smile. She removed Taeyeon’s hand from her face and closed the space between the two of them capturing Taeyeon into a warm embrace. She snuggled on the crevice of Taeyeon’s neck and clutched the sides of Taeyeon’s hospital gown with both hands.

 

“I missed you.” She breathed out, a content smile plastered on her face.

 

A smile spread across Taeyeon’s face as well. “I missed you too.” She said earnestly as she leaned down and captured Jessica’s lips into a passionate kiss. Afte some time, the two broke the kiss and settled back into each other’s arms.

 

They stayed like that for a while longer, a comfortable silence enveloping the room. Jessica eventually ended up on the bed, still snuggled in Taeyeon’s embrace.

 

After a while, Jessica spoke up.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Taeyeon knew what she meant. She was apologizing for the accident. She shook her head. “Don’t be.”

 

“B-but I got you into an accident.”

 

Taeyeon shrugged. “It’s fine.” She said nonchalantly.

 

Jessica pulled away, frowning at Taeyeon’s calmness about the entire incident. “Why are you so calm about what happened? You almost died because of me. You should be angry. You should be scolding me for my irresponsibility instead of just sitting there like nothing happened.”

 

“Jessica, I’m really fine. Don’t blame yourself, okay? Besides, my life was never in real danger.” Taeyeon explained. Jessica gave her a puzzled look, not following what she meant. “Don’t you remember? I’m a spirit. A spirit can’t die. And this right here,” Taeyeon placed a hand over her chest, referring to her own body. “This isn’t my real body. This is just a vessel. As long as I’m in this thing, I can never perish. Injured, yes. But die? No. So don’t beat yourself up ok?”

 

“Oh.” Was the only thing Jessica could mutter. For some reason she suddenly felt like a fool for worrying over Taeyeon’s welfare. She was crying all this time about Taeyeon, even blaming herself for believing that she almost caused her death, when in reality, she was never in real danger after all. She felt hurt.

 

The frown on her face deepened.

 

Taeyeon noticed it. “What’s wrong?”

 

Jessica shook her head. “Nothing.” She lied.

 

Taeyeon stared at her for a second longer before dismissing it.

 

“Jessica?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you since I woke up a few hours ago.” Taeyeon confessed.

 

“Hm? What do you want to know?”

 

“Can you tell me what was going through your mind when you suddenly stormed off the night of the accident?”

 

Jessica was taken aback, though she knew Taeyeon would ask her sooner or later about it. She sighed. No point on delaying it any further.

 

“I…actually I was mad at you…and Krystal. I was mad because I was jealous of your relationship. Seeing you two getting closer to each other and knowing the fact that Krystal has feelings for you made me angry. I know we settled it already, that you two will only treat each other as friends, as sisters, and you did, but… but I couldn’t help myself from thinking otherwise…from doubting you. I know it was stupid and childish of me to think that way, and for that, I’m very sorry. I’ve not only hurt you, but I’ve also hurt Krystal. I’m really sorry.”

 

Jessica stared at Taeyeon waiting for a reaction. She was expecting her to get mad and scold her, but it never came. Instead, she let out a sigh.

 

“I kinda figured.” Taeyeon admitted.

 

“You knew?”

 

Taeyeon nodded. “It was kind of obvious. Plus, Tiffany clued me in when we were at the living room watching the movie.”

 

Jessica furrowed her brows in confusion. “Wait, if you knew, then why were you hugging Krystal? Shouldn’t you have distanced yourself since you knew I was jealous?”

 

“Well, I was going to, but she started crying because of the movie. Yonghwa was already comforting Tiffany and I felt bad that no one was tending to her. Me, being the unnie, I just did what every caring unnie would do. I comforted her. I was just comforting her, Sica. It wasn’t an unnecessary skin-ship.”

 

“Oh.” Jessica felt guilty. “I feel like an idiot now.”

 

“Don’t be. You’re human. We all make mistakes.”

 

“But mine was such a huge mistake. Not only did I almost tear my relationship with my sister, I even created an accident.” Jessica mulled over.

 

“Don’t worry, I don’t blame you for the accident. As for your strained relationship with Krystal, you can still fix it. You can make it up to her. Though it may take a while for you to fully repair your relationship with her, it will happen. Have faith.”

 

Jessica nodded resolutely. “I will. No matter how long it takes, I will mend our bond.”

 

Taeyeon smiled. “Good. Now come back here. I feel cold.” She said as she pulled Jessica back down to her body engulfing the younger girl back into her arms.

 

======

 

“Tae Tae!”

 

The two occupants of the once peaceful room cowered at the loud obnoxious voice of the sudden intruder.

 

Taeyeon didn’t even have time to react when out of the blue Tiffany charged straight at her with a bear hug, squeezing the living day lights out of her. “F-Fany…” She gasped for air.

 

“We’re so glad you’re awake Taeyeon!” Tiffany practically screamed in Taeyeon’s ear as she kept her strong hold around Taeyeon’s body.

 

Sensing Taeyeon’s discomfort, Jessica delivered a smack on her friend’s arm causing Tiffany to finally release her chokehold she had on Taeyeon.

 

“Yah! Tiffany! Can you lower it down? This is a hospital and Taeyeon here is trying to rest.” Jessica scolded.

 

Realizing her mistake, she quickly apologized. “Oops, I’m sorry.” She smiled sheepishly.

 

Jessica crossed her arms anr rolled her eyes.

 

“It’s fine.” Taeyeon smiled, though she was still a bit overwhelmed by Tiffany’s sudden bear hug.

 

Yonghwa approached her next. He bent down and gave her a quick hug. “I’m glad you’re feeling better noona.” He said as he pulled away.

 

“Thanks, Yong.” Taeyeon patted his arm.

 

After Yonghwa stepped back, Taeyeon’s eyes wandered over his shoulder, trying to locate her third visitor. Her eyes settled on the figure at the far back. Leaning on the wall, with her head down, Taeyeon finally spotted who she was looking for.

 

Feeling eyes on her, Krystal looked up meeting Taeyeon’s gaze. She offered a shy smile towards Taeyeon’s direction.

 

“I’m glad you’re awake unnie.” Krystal said softly.

 

A content smile graced Taeyeon’s face. “Thanks.” She said sincerely, but she felt something odd. Something was missing from the younger Jung’s greeting. She pouted when she realized what it was.

 

“Hey, don’t I get a hug from you?” Taeyeon asked innocently. Krystal looked at her with a perplexed expression, wondering why she’d ask her for such a thing when she’s completely aware of their complicated situation. Taeyeon ignored the look and continued. “I mean everyone else gave me hug. Jessica gave me a hug, Tiffany gave me a bear hug, and Yonghwa also gave me a hug so I thought it was odd that I didn’t get one from you.” Krystal blinked. “So…do I get one?”

 

Is she serious? Krystal wondered. She bit her bottom lip contemplatively. She hesistated and shifted her gaze to her sister, asking for permission. She doesn’t want to anger her sister again.

 

Jessica quickly gave a nod of approval.

 

With that, Krystal gently pushed herself off the wall and made her way to Taeyeon’s bed side. Bending down, she carefully circled her arms around Taeyeon’s frame, keeping a safe distance between herself and Taeyeon. It was an awkward position, but she knew she shouldn’t push it.

 

Taeyeon, however, somehow knew she’d do that so she tug on the younger girl’s arm, pulling her closer to her body, and startling Krystal in the process. Krystal let out a shriek when she stumbled forward landing straight into Taeyeon’s awaiting arms.

 

“Thanks, Krystal.” Taeyeon smiled innocently as she patted Krystal’s back.

 

“Y-you’re welcome.” Krystal stuttered, a hint of blush prominent on both of her cheeks. After the quick hug, Krystal pulled away and turned to her sister to see her reaction. Seeing her older sister’s genuine smile, she couldn’t help but smile back.

 

This increased Jessica’s smile ten fold. She couldn’t be any happier to see her sister smiling back at her like the old times. This is definitely a step forward.

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N:  Hey everyone! Long time no see! I am posting a double update! This is chapter 25 and there is a chapter 26 as well! Make sure you get to read that too! I will be uploading it in just a little bit! =]