Chapter 30

He walked along slowly, despite already being recognised. I found his lagging step frustrating, and returning back to Changsun’s side, I grabbed his hand and yanked it. “Why are you going so slow?!”

“Because I don’t want to go in, that’s why.”

I sighed. “You agreed you’d take one visit to try and see what I was proposing.”

“And now I’ve changed my mind Yoomi, I want you to remain you, not anyone else,” Changsun decided and I dropped my head, feeling guilty for the pressure I was placing on him.

After figuring what I needed to do, I had confronted Changsun with my solution. At first he had been completely against the idea, arguing with me at every turn. I felt the situation was helpless until yesterday morning when he woke up and decided he would at least meet Camille. I was amazed, wondering if I had actually convinced him that this was the best option we’d have. If I could convince him of it, I was sure I could persuade myself to try it too.

Except now he was resisting again.

“Changsun, we’re here now and if you don’t get moving, nurses are going to start taking photos of you and put it up on the internet.”

He sighed and started walking again. And not towards the exit.

“I’m just humouring you, okay?”

“That’s all I could ask for right now,” I assured, feeling the nerves return as we stepped into the elevator. It was empty and so Changsun moved closer, holding my hand more tightly. It was reassuring having him beside me, and I was grateful that he continued to make his way into the intensive care unit when we stepped out.

After entering, a nurse approached us both. “Hello, may I help you?”

“Ah yes, I’m here to see Miss Wakefield,” Changsun mentioned and the woman frowned.

“What is your relation to her?”

Changsun smiled warmly. “A very important person to me died in a car accident earlier this year and when I heard about Camille, I felt the need to visit this person.”

“Really?” She eyed him for a moment and soon clicked onto who he was. Her expression instantly changed and she nodded happily. “That’s so kind of you.”

“I’m not here as a publicity stunt, so please no photos or story,” he continued and the lady nodded again before leading us over to Camille’s cubicle.

“If there’s anything I can do-”

“Could you tell me about her condition more? I know its private information, but just how serious it is?” I glanced up at him, astounded at how he was using his eyes and smile to work his way through this woman. I wondered just how many times he had the charms to get something in life. Rolling my eyes I moved over to Camille’s bed and greeted her.

“I shouldn’t really, but I can tell you that there has been little improvement since her arrival. She will probably suffer complications if she does wake up, but the extent of it could range from minor to severe. We can’t really estimate the damage yet as there’s too much swelling to the brain.”

“I see,” Changsun smiled weakly. “Thank you.”

“I’ll leave you with her for a little while then,” the nurse mentioned and walked away. I glanced up at Changsun who carefully made his way to the chair and sat down on it. He then pulled me onto his lap and rested his head on my shoulder.

“Yoomi, it doesn’t sound like there’s much hope.”

“I know it seems slim, but I can’t give up on her.” I stared at the girl and sighed. “She needs to live.”

“Why, because you didn’t?” He sounded bitter. “What puts her life above yours?”

“It’s just how I feel.”

Changsun sighed. “And this is how I feel. Your idea is to somehow join yourself with this girl, and get to live again. But you have no idea if you’ll remember anything about who you are now, you don’t know if Camille will even live long enough for this to be all worth it. And if she does live, you heard the nurse, she may have complications. What if it’s better for her to die and not suffer?”

“If that was me lying there right now-”

“It’s not so don’t play on my emotions like that,” he cut in sharply, before sighing heavily. “I know you’re trying to be the good person here, and I love you for it.”

“I feel like it was planned for me to do this, it’s not something I just decided on my own Changsun. I know there are risks, but if I don’t, there’s a chance I’ll never see you again until we meet in another world. You yourself said that you can’t live without me, so I’m trying to make it so you don’t.”

He groaned lightly. “It won’t be the same, she’s not you. Besides, what if she wakes up, and I decide to go along with this ridiculous scheme of yours. And she and I have nothing in common, and nothing occurs. Then I’ll have lost you anyway.”

I turned around in his lap and placed my hands on either side of his face. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do.”

“Every inch of me is in love with you. Even if I forget who I am, even if I am never the same, there is one thing I’m sure will never occur. And that’s my love fading for you.”

He closed his eyes, a tear escaping from under the lids. “And you’re certain there is no other way?”

“I’ve experienced everything I can in this current existence with you. Changsun you have given me everything and more that I could’ve asked for. I feel bad for asking this one last thing of you, but I’m doing it so you can fulfil your own life too.”

“Stop worrying about what you think I need,” he told me and then heaved another breath. “I hate it. I hate this, and I hate your decision.”

“But you’re agreeing?” I was hesitant, watching as he sat there in thought.

Finally he glanced at me, tears welling in his eyes. “You better come back to me.”

A week went by and I attempted to make as many arrangements as I could. I spent time with all the MBLAQ boys individually, and wrote each of them letters to explain my experience with them. I frequently found myself in tears at the idea of leaving, and decided even more often that I would just not go through with helping Camille. However I knew within me, I had to. For some reason upon my death I was picked for this task, and believed that I would be able to save Camille due to it. I had already received my reward by getting to love Changsun, and have him love me back. I knew it would be selfish of me to remain and expect to stay at his side forever. My initial understanding of my place in this world had been entirely unrealistic.

However, I had helped Changsun. I knew deep down I had given him the strength to overcome the obstacles that had darkened his days. I had brought happiness into his life and the ability to love another after his heart was broken over Jihyun. I knew she would no longer be a threat on any future relationship of his. I was always the last to understand a situation, and true to my form, I now saw the past three months as something Changsun needed, as much as I did. I could only pray that any continued relationship between us would live on through Camille.

I felt guilty for taking my expectations and placing them on the foreign girl. Changsun’s fears of her not accepting our feelings were mine as well. I worried we were cheating of her own way of living, and using her. At the same time I had come to know the girl through my dreams, and found similarities between us. I knew if it had to be anyone I would sacrifice my existence for, it was her.

And that day had finally arrived. I had attempted to convince Changsun not to join me, though he refused to let me leave this world alone. Secretly I was thankful as I was petrified. Questions flooded my mind and I barely was able to tell where I was heading. If Changsun hadn’t of been holding my hand within his, I wouldn’t have even safely made it into the hospital. I thought of s, and how I had said goodbye to each of them that morning, their tears breaking my confidence in half. I was ready to flee, not understanding why I had been chosen for this task in the slightest.

We arrived at Camille’s ward and I stopped Changsun from progressing. He frowned. “What?”

“I’m not sure I can do this now,” I admitted and he smiled weakly at me.

“I know you can. You are too selfless for your own good.”

I laughed. “You clearly don’t know me. Before I died I was palming off my younger sister’s trip to Seoul just so I could see you perform. And Jihyun made me pretty selfish, remember?”

“Overall though, you put everyone above yourself. I know you’re scared, I am too. And I have no idea why I’m convincing you to walk through these doors right now, but I am.”

“I guess I can’t really back out now,” I whispered, following him inside. The same nurse from last week greeted us, and without any questions, led Changsun over to Camille. I noticed his smile at the woman and scrunched my nose up.

“I’m making my life easier for after today,” he murmured out loud to me, before smiling again at the woman. “Excuse me; could I give you my number, so you can let me know if there are any changes to Camille’s state?”

As Changsun sorted out his details, I approached the bed slowly. Peering over at the girl, I sighed heavily.

“You know, I think you’re pretty brave for doing this, I personally couldn’t.” I spun to see my guide standing on the other side of the bed. She approached us. “Are you sure you want to risk it all?”

“Why do you always speak in riddles?”

“You really have to want this Yoomi,” she said seriously. “Once it’s done, you can’t just get out again.”

Glancing over at Changsun, I smiled. “I’m doing this for the sake of his future. He’ll stop living soon if I continue to be around him.”

“You always surprise me, though your love is evident for him.”

I began to cry, only able to nod once to her statement. Changsun soon joined us, and I wondered if he could see the other woman. It became clear he couldn’t.

“Yoomi,” he said softly and pulled the curtain closed before letting me into his arms. I clung to him, not wanting to ever let go. “I love you.”

“I love you too, for eternity.”

Changsun was smiling when I pulled away. “Come back to me, okay?”

“I will,” I mentioned through a sob and then turned back to my guide. “I’m ready.”

“To do this, you need to hop up on the bed and lay down on Camille. I can’t tell you how it feels, or what will happen to you from here out Park Yoomi. But I wish you all the best of luck.”

Glancing at the pair in the cubicle, I then climbed onto the bed, hoping not to crush Camille in the process. However I wasn’t solid to her and managed to lie down. Staring at the silently crying man beside the bed, I tried my best to smile at him, but a new sensation instantly overwhelmed me. I felt light as a feather, and my senses started to rapidly weaken. Desperate to keep my eyes on Changsun, I felt as if I was swimming against a strong current. I knew I couldn’t hold out for much longer.

With a final glance in his direction, I then closed my eyes, letting myself be washed away and darkness enveloped me. 

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Author's Notes...

And that's it folks! I kid, there is an epilogue being posted tomorrow, which will no doubt answer all your questions regarding Yoomi, Changsun and Camille. However, the above chapter was pretty hard to write. We farewell Yoomi here, and for those who don't know, she quickly became my favourite original character I've ever created! Seriously adore her. And now she's gone D: *gets tissues for everyone*... Sorry the posting was late today... been a veryyyy long day. But I thought I'd quickly pop online and post before bed.

Replies...

@Kate; Thank you lovely, I'm glad it was tasteful! I'm very sad myself... wahh!

@At1stsight; Welcome to the fiction, though, it's over now (just the epilogue to go) -- would have been less atagonising though, not having to wait so long for chapters to be posted, haha! Thank you for your kind messages, especially the one about my Dad, how lovely of you! You might be bawling buckets, or even doing that after the above chapter! Who knows what's happened to Changsun's life after Yoomi... well I do... and I'll share it with you all tomorrow! 

Night everyone, and thanks for reading ^_^