Chapter 10.

Over breakfast the following morning there were two announcements. The first I was aware of, Cheolyong had been unable to keep quiet of our development last night. I felt eyes upon me as I rested against the kitchen bench. I could only imagine what the brunette was thinking about it all. I knew I’d have to wait for a moment alone with Changsun to get his opinion. The second announcement had shocked me a little however, and I blinked rapidly as the room fell silent.

“What did you just say?” Byunghee asked Changsun, and he took a deep breath. “You’re moving out?”

“I bought a house.” Changsun smiled. “It’s not far from here, in Jamshil. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for some time now.”

“Do you not feel comfortable here anymore?” Seungho questioned, hurt evident in his chocolate orbs. I was wondering the same thing too.

“Last year was a bad year for me, for us all too,” Changsun started and all the boys seemed to become uneasy at the mentioning of 2011. “I guess with this year I wanted to take control of my life. Our schedules are all very different, but I’m usually out the latest. I know I make disturbances around the dorm, and have woken Sanghyun up countless of times when I finally return home. I don’t want to continue down this path. I want us to gain strength-”

“So you run away from us hyung?” Sanghyun interjected and Changsun sighed. “Have we ever complained about it?”

“Sometimes it hasn’t been easy though,” Cheolyong mentioned and looked away from the scrutiny of s. “I’m just saying that we have had our struggles together.”

“Guys, it’s not like we won’t see each other still. Since we all have our own activities in different places lately, it’s not going to make much difference if I’m living here or not.”

Seungho tried to smile. “It makes sense, but I hope you’re not trying to do this to escape.”

“Ahhh, he’s doing it to date girls,” Byunghee suddenly stated and I snapped my eyes onto Changsun’s face. He lifted his hands up in defence and shook them rapidly. His skin colour had gotten darker though and I wondered if there was any truth to the statement. I scrunched my face up at the idea.

“No, no, it’s simply to find some independence as a man, nothing more.”

“Does the company and our managers know about it yet?”

Changsun nodded at Sanghyun’s question. “They’re fine with it. I went with Byung-Gi hyung to look at the place last week too.”

“I’m curious now, what does it look like?”

“Uhhh.” Changsun seemed to like the change in questions and grinned. “It’s nothing expensive, just a small loft styled apartment. It has a spare room that I’m going to make a workout area.”

“You’ll have to show it to us sometime.” Seungho smiled again. “When do you move in?”

“I’m going this afternoon to sign the final paperwork and then when I have some time spare I’ll move in.” He finally glanced in my direction and I stood up, wondering why he was looking at me. “If anyone wants to come then, they can.”

The other members all mentioned their schedules with a sigh and got up to finish their preparation for work. Sanghyun, who had the morning off, seemed to go back off to bed. I moved over to the table Changsun was still sitting at and smiled down at him.

“This was a big decision huh?”

He nodded and pointed at me. “It was all thanks to you that I went ahead with it.”

“Huh?” I frowned at his words and Changsun chuckled. “What did I do?”

“You’re doing what you need to even if it’s a weird situation. I feel like I need to start setting up my future, and here at the dorm, I’m not able to have my own space to grow in. I know it’s a risk, but I’ve got you to thank for showing me that sometimes we have to follow our hearts to get somewhere.”

He seemed a little awkward after his words, his sensitivity shining through. I merely nodded and he got up to go and change for his day. Whilst I waited, I wondered what I had exactly shown for him to feel inspired by me. I sighed; I had thought of myself as foolishly clinging to a man whom I’d loved from afar. Now that I was by his side, he was teaching me more about life than I had known when I actually existed.

Pushing my thoughts aside, I focussed on the upcoming visit to Changsun’s new home. I became excited, trying to imagine what it would look like. A new home would change everything, and I wondered just how I would fit into the scheme of things now.

“Wow!” I cried as I spun around in the empty living area of Changsun’s new apartment. It was as he described; a moderately sized space for a single person to live in, and could quite comfortably turn into a couple’s home too. The kitchen was merely separated by an island from the main living area, and I could imagine cooking whilst watching television would be something Changsun would end up doing.

Hang on, he never cooks anything, I reminded myself with a frown, but it didn’t last long, as my curious nature sent me up to the second level of the house. The little staircase opened on to a platform area, and I guessed this would be the main bedroom. I looked out the large windows and walked over to have a look at the view. Even with buildings all around, it looked beautiful outside.

“So it’s all mine now?” I heard Changsun ask the real estate agent downstairs and I went over to the railing, leaning over the side to watch as the pair shook hands, and Changsun led the man back to the front door. I heard it click shut and Changsun soon returned to the kitchen counter, looking over the documents and then smiling brightly. I found myself captivated, realising this was possibly the happiest I had ever seen the brunette.

He glanced up at me then and grinned, darting up the staircase to the same level I was on. Changsun extended his arm out and waved it about the house. “What do you think?”

“I think it’s just perfect for you,” I answered honestly and this seemed to satisfy him. He nodded and went over to the window. “How does it feel, to own something so important?”

“It’s very fulfilling,” he mentioned and rested his head against the window pane. “Who knew that a house would make me this happy.”

“I don’t think it’s the house that is making you happy, but the new adventure in your life. Sure you will still be doing the same things, but you’ll get to come home to something that shows your hard work off. You will get to buy furniture and appliances with your money you’ve earned. Every time you come home, no matter how exhausted you are, you’ll be falling into the bed you paid for. It sounds very rewarding to me, Oppa.”

He regarded me for a moment and then nodded. “That must be it.”

“I’m envious,” I admitted and Changsun came back to my side. “I always dreamed of owning my own home one day.”

“Really?” I nodded. “Then think of this as your home too.”

“Wha-what?” I was stunned and it was obvious the suggestion made Changsun a little shocked too. I wondered if he had actually meant to say it.

He seemed to pull himself back together and smiled. “Well, I couldn’t just leave you back at the dorm with no one able to see you. Who knows what kind of mischief you would get up to without me watching over you!”

“You’re joking right?” I said through gritted teeth and Changsun smirked. I slapped his arm in anger. “I swear one of these days I will get you so good!”

“I’m looking forward to the challenge,” he countered and I stopped glaring, noticing a flicker of something new within his eyes. They seemed warmer as they stared back at me, and I realised it had to be because of the new home.

Turning away, I looked around the house with a new admiration. “Can I help decorate it?”

“You can’t add lots of girly touches okay?! This is a bachelor’s pad!”

I let out a happy squeal and without thinking I leapt at Changsun and hugged him tightly. “I’ll keep it at a minimum I swear! Can we go and look at stuff together?! I’ve always wanted to buy furniture before!”

“Yah,” Changsun said softly and his voice vibrated through his chest a little. I realised where I was then and I jumped away in fright. The taller boy looked flustered and I diverted my gaze, hoping my cheeks would cool down quickly. “Uh, I guess we could do that. Maybe tomorrow as I have to go and film another variety show now.”

“That sounds good, yep.” I avoided his gaze and tried to distract myself. “Oh I haven’t seen the bathroom or spare room yet.”

Shifting down stairs and into the bathroom within a blink, I grasped the clean porcelain sink within my hands and took a few deep breaths. I had realised I had overstepped my cautious barrier that I had been working so hard on staying behind. Living here would be a dream for me, and being allowed to think of it as my own home was overwhelming.

But the consequences that came with it were difficult to take. I was falling further for Changsun and knowing we could never have a future was starting to hurt more than his constant teasing did. I wondered if I should take up his offer or disappear from his side now before I got in too deep.

I knew that it was too late for the latter. I just hoped I would find enough willpower to not get swept away in my old fantasies of us being together, married and eventually having a family.

Because no matter how much I wished for it, that would never come true now.

__________

Author's Notes... 

HOORAY I'M ON TIME! Hahaha. Thanks everyone for the get well wishes... I'm feeling better, no more having to take icky pills for it anymore too! But I did pass it on to others in my house, so they're not that pleased with me >_> Anyways, how do you like the next step in this story? I wonder how things will go now with Changsun in his own home!

Replies...

@Kate; Mi-Mi is about as hilarious as Katie, right? :) Oh don't you just love me?! Teehee. And yes, yay for the others ^_^

@Rirakuma; They are pretty cute! I hope Cheolyong and Yoomi can become good friends! More now :)

@nikka0407; I agree, I feel that Cheolyong would be rather comfortable and easy to get along with... he has his quirks though ^_^ There's more moments up in the new chap hehe... but even more in the next! I'm such a tease!!

@Maggie; KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! YOU HAVE TURNED UP I'M SO HAPPY ^_^ I'm glad you loved the magazine bit, I laughed so hard as I wrote that :P And yeah, I had gastro - so yuck! And I couldn't take pills (I'm 26 in a few weeks aigoo) but that's all they came in so the best thing about it is that I was so desperate I learnt how to take them. Woohoo lol. NGL, I love my Changsun too. If I could, I'd marry him and pop out babies too :P But alas he's fictional and likes dead girls better, sigh :P I'm glad you see him the way I perceive and write him as, I was hoping as you know to get him realistic! Please do give Cheolyongie huggles... he needs them. Bless him! Studying has been great - I've gotten an A+, A, and two A-'s so far. Just waiting for marks back on two things... first exam is on the 12th... then the second on my birthday (the 18th). Sad! Oh! You know the new fic idea that we created that I will work on whenever I actually write again and finish this story (hoping to write more tonight actually) you know that group you first suggested, given their comeback? And I was like nahhh... kind of considering it now :P Send me an email sometime!!

@wonderblaq; they did get closer! Nice to see someone apart from Changsun too :P thanks for the kind thoughts my way!!