Chapter 22

I had forgotten how tiring MBLAQ’s schedule was. Although I was used to Changsun getting home at early hours in the morning, I had stopped tagging along with a lot of their work because I struggled to keep up. I didn’t even have the excuse of physical issues. Technically I didn’t need to sleep, eat or anything I did, but because it was so deeply seated in my brain to do it all, I couldn’t understand how they could do so much in the space of twenty-four hours. I admired the effort everyone put in to film the show completely.

I also couldn’t help but be a little jealous though. The five Mums were all beautiful in their own right, and one in particular actually knew Changsun. It didn’t help that for the show all of the members were acting outrageously like deprived men in need of a partner for themselves instead of the children. Knowing their personalities though, I laughed most of it off and ended up focussing on the children more as time went by.

During an assessment the boys did with a hidden camera, Changsun and Cheolyong both discreetly suggested I went down and interfered. I didn’t do much, just sat in the room near the children. Dayoung was the first to move, picking up her toy and bringing it over to me. I couldn’t react though with all the cameras around and so I leant down close to her face. “Remember I’m a secret, so shhh!”

“Shhh!” she mimicked with a giggle and went back to the Mums, who were beckoning her back to them anyway. Leo ran around the room a few times and stopped beside me before running the other way, also mimicking the shushing with a giggle. By the end of it, even Lauren had joined in, the three children thinking of it as a game.

It was evening time by the next break for dinner and I followed everyone to get some food, but sat by myself whilst the crew was around. Changsun seemed frustrated by my distance, but I was acutely aware of just how many eyes were on him at that moment in time. Everyone was then given a half hour break to relax and Changsun took the opportunity to drag me back inside the house where the children were playing with their carers.

“Mummy!” Lauren yelled as we passed them and the two others started yelling and giggling along, even though the staff with them attempted to tell them that Changsun was their Daddy. After we stopped moving through the house into a vacant room, I started to laugh.

“Just let me check if there are any cameras,” he announced, going around the room thoroughly. He then smiled with relief knowing that we were completely alone.

“The kids seem to be enjoying my presence a little too much, Mummy,” I teased and he laughed with me, shaking his head lightly.

“So many misunderstandings are now going to occur.”

“I’m sorry,” I honestly said and then raised an index finger. “Ah. Shouldn’t you be spending time with your friend from school?”

“I’m spending time with you instead.”

I nodded softly, trying not to let my blush get too dark. “I have to admit it is nice to have some time with you today.”

“Considering you’ve been avoiding me, yeah I have to agree.”

“I’m just making sure you don’t look stupid in front of all these people.”

He sighed. “I brought you along though so we could enjoy the trip. So far you’ve had more time with the kids and Cheolyong than you have with me. And you only told me that I only looked good in my suit.”

“Did you want me to inflate your ego, Joonie-poo?” I teased and he grabbed my wrist and pulled me close. I hesitated to hug him but soon melted into the embrace. “Are you okay Changsun?”

“Today’s been weird for me.”

“I could tell. Earlier with Dayoung and then with Seungho, you froze. I really wanted to know what you were thinking at that time.” I pulled back and attempted to allure him with my eyes. He laughed at me loudly.

“Are you trying to get me to tell you by looking at me like that?”

I scrunched up my face and moved across the room. “Don’t worry then.”

“I got sad for you,” he answered seriously and I turned back to face him. “I was moved by Dayoung’s statement. Your eyes were shining with delight from it and I don’t think you even thought about how you won’t get to ever be a Mum.”

“Oh.” I diverted my eyes to the ground. The thought had been playing on my mind a few times throughout the day. I had even gone as far to imagine what it would be like to have children with Changsun. I forced myself to smile. “Well, there are lots of things I’m not entitled to anymore.”

“I want them all for you though,” he mentioned, moving closer again. “I want you to have everything you desire.”

“R-really?” I whispered and he nodded, his eyes tearing up. I didn’t even realised I had started to cry. Burying myself into him, I sobbed a little, feeling his grip around me tightening. Eventually he pulled away, looking a little awkward.

“I have to get back to the set. You can stay in here if you like; I’ll come back for you.”

“Okay.”

He left then and I sat down on the floor, allowing the emotions to run their course. And then I smiled, remembering his words. He wanted me to have anything I desired. I hoped that by the end of this trip, I could find the courage I needed to tell him the one thing I wanted before it was too late.

Changsun didn’t return to the room until it was close to midnight. He explained they had already chosen the Mummy for the show and that Lauren had fallen ill so everyone was packing up and they would travel through the night back to Seoul. I had followed him out to the RV and despite some staff being in the vehicle, he held my hand and we fell asleep next to one another. The next time I opened my eyes was when we arrived outside the apartment building and the night sky was starting to get ready to let the sun rise. Changsun sleepily asked his manager if he would get the day off and he was relieved when he said they only would be having dance practice for their comeback song later in the day.

Taking his bag, he then led the way up into the apartment and shut the door after me. I yawned loudly and he nodded his head. “I’m still tired, let’s go to bed.”

“Good idea, I don’t think I slept all that well on the trip back. Night Changsun.”

“Where are you going?” he asked and I pointed at the couch. “No, no more sleeping apart, come on.”

He grabbed my hand to take me upstairs, and we removed our excess clothing before climbing into bed. I felt my dress slide up a little as his leg nudged it and so I stared up at the ceiling with wide eyes. Changsun must have noticed as he lazily let out a laugh.

“Why am I reminded of our first night in this bed together?”

“Probably because it was as awkward as this,” I mentioned and he nodded.

“We shouldn’t be awkward anymore though.”

“Changsun, I need to ask you something,” I finally said, once the room had fallen silent. He didn’t respond and I looked over to make sure he hadn’t fallen asleep. He was closer than I expected and gazing at me expectantly. I swallowed roughly. “Who, who is the girl you’re texting to Yonghwa about?”

He laughed again. “How many times do I have to make myself clear about how I feel to you Yoomi? Of course it’s you.”

“Then, how come you’ve never done anything about it?” I whispered, overwhelmed by his response. Changsun smiled and ran a hand through my hair. “I’ve waited forever, and I’ve gone crazy from waiting. If you really feel something towards me, can’t you just be consistent about it?”

“Yoomi, you have a really bad habit of reminding me every time I try to that you’re dead.” He was still smiling and I waited for him to continue. “I know you’re in love with me, and you’re worried about how that will work. I’ve been worried too. It’s not the easiest thing to admit, feeling the way I do about you.”

“So you don’t want to get into anything because it’s too hard,” I surmised and Changsun shook his head.

“Stop jumping ahead before I’m finished. I’ve tried to think of ways not to like you the way I do. I’ve tried to tell myself it’s selfish to give you hope, to make you feel like this could work when we both know there’s an unknown time limit over our heads. You for one are very good at pointing that out.”

“It’s only because I’m scared that day will come soon.” I hadn’t realised I was holding onto the bottom of his tee until then and I gripped it tighter, as if to anchor myself to him. Changsun moved closer.

“All relationships, I realised after talking with Yonghwa, have a time limit and you never know it. And they all have complications. We’re not as unique as we think we are.”

“Except the fact that most people date living people,” I pointed out and Changsun groaned loudly.

“See what I’m dealing with?!”

I blushed and diverted my eyes. “Sorry, I guess I have been feeling quite inferior.”

“Yoomi, if you could have any wish before you had to leave, what would it be?”

I glanced back up at his face, Changsun waiting for my response. I could tell he was nervous to hear what I would say and so I shakily reached up to touch his cheek. I smiled as he moved into my palm. Forgetting all the issues I had been holding onto, I nodded my head once. “You. I want to experience happiness with you. I want to think of you as my first and only love. I want to be loved by you.”

Changsun soaked in my words and then he cupped my face in his hand, moving so our noses were touching. “I’m going to grant you that wish then.”

And his lips finally touched mine. At first they were soft, barely grazing over mine and ignited all my senses. I never remembered feeling electricity quite like the current racing through my veins before. My chest felt awake, like a powerhouse that was pumping new life throughout me. My skin tingled all over and the colours around the room seemed to brighten. I was hyperaware of Changsun’s increased heartbeat, and the warmth within his entire body. His mouth was heavier against mine and I finally closed my eyes, feeling overwhelmed and incredibly dizzy. Passion enveloped us both and his lips were more demanding, searching, tasting and imprinting themselves against mine. I felt my grip tighten around him, my body pressing into his, not allowing for any room between us.

In that moment of time I was aware of a new presence in the room. His raw emotion was filling me with every move he made, and when he pulled away for some air, I instantly ached for his lips on mine. As if he heard my thoughts, Changsun kissed me again, running his tongue across my bottom lip and I gasped, allowing him entrance. We became a tangled mess on the bed, and I didn’t even realise he had pulled me on top of him in the process. Eventually we had to separate our lips and I breathed heavily, my hands resting on his panting chest.

Changsun smiled up at me, his chocolate orbs looking livelier than I had ever seen them. I grinned at him and he reached up to brush some of my wavy hair out of my face. “You’re so beautiful, Yoomi.”

“Have I always been that way to you?” I asked tentatively and the man underneath me nodded.

“When I first thought you were my imagination, I was happy I had conjured up someone like you in my moment of insanity.”

I rolled my eyes, but inwardly I was rejoicing. I then tapped my index finger on his chest. “So where does this leave us now?”

“Well.” Changsun sat up and pulled me into his lap. I placed my arms lightly on his shoulders and played with the hair at the nape of his neck. He kissed me lightly on my arm before continuing. “I think this is the part where I ask you something.”

“That is?”

“I’m in love with you Park Yoomi. Do you want to be with me?”

I nodded. “For eternity.”

“Eternity it is then,” Changsun agreed, sealing the union with another kiss.

___________

Author's Notes...

Sorry everyone! I've had assignments and uni stuff to attend to so I've missed almost two weeks of posting! The good news is that I will be posting on Tuesday and then making another choice on that day whether I post on Friday or not... I'm currently planning the end to this fiction... and hopefully popping out another couple of chapters tonight... hopefully >_< 
As for this chapter, what a great one to come back on! I love this chapter, it's possibly my favourite in the fiction, just because of the detail on their raw emotions hehe. I hope you all enjoy the progression... the story now will change a little... setting up the final hurdles to the end. 

Replies...

@Penquin_Panda16; Haha yes the children can see her! You've just found out, sorry you had to wait so long!

@FlyingHigh; Indeed they can!

@E_magine; Dayoungie was my favourite too. Not at all obvious haha! Thanks!

@Kate; Yup tsk tsk. Dayoung is love <3

@Maggie; Don't be sorry! I've been very slack myself! Aww you had tears over that?! Wonder what your response'll be to chapter 24 then :P I too love her... she seriously was the cutest damn thing around... the other two got quite a bit of attention in their own right... I just loved Dayoung that little bit more! I'm glad you have a happy heart over Changsun's antics... I wonder how it's feeling now that *the* chapter I was talking about has arrived! Hope you're well love! Hugs back!!