Krystal’s POV

It’s been a week since I ran away from home. I took a short trip to Japan to get rid of all the mess in my mind. I need to be level headed. I need to be clear minded when I go back.

Joori unni was nice enough to grant me a last minute leave. I didn’t tell anyone where I went. Not even my sister.

I turned off my phone since the day I left. It’s my last day in Hokkaido now. As I sit in the balcony of my rented apartment facing the sea, I couldn’t help but let my mind linger back to the day Hanbyul and I spoke.

“But AJ…is still AJ. Regardless of gender, he…she has always been there for you. Just think of that…I know it’s a lot for you to take it and I’m not asking you to right now, but please don’t tell her I told you her secret that she wants me to keep. She had her reasons.”

Reasons…

Was I wrong to have just packed up and left a note saying I’ll be away for a week without any reasons?

But he hurt me.

Argh Krystal Jung Soojung. AJ is a girl. Stop using male pronouns!

I need more answers from Hanbyul. This week-long stay in Japan only confuses me more. Everything I do, seems to remind me of AJ and I don’t even know why.

Could it be…that I miss..h…er?

I finally my phone. To say that it’s close to exploding is an understatement. I received 102 messages from Jessica, Yuri and…AJ…

AJ Baby…

Saturday, 03:24AM
JUNG SOOJUNG YOU ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW! WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE YOU?!

Saturday, 05:16AM
Soojung ah, unni is sorry for that rude message but please reply me.

Sunday, 10:20PM
Please call me when you see this message. Where are you my baby Jung? Unni misses you. Why aren’t you calling me back.

I scrolled up to see even newer messages.

Monday, 02:48AM
Soojung, AJ called Yuri the other day, I think he got drunk or something, We had problems even getting him to leave the bar. What happened to the both of you? I thought things were going well?

Monday, 12:13PM
Soojung, call me.

Wednesday, 4:15AM
Soojung this is probably useless, your phone is off. I know coz I have tried calling it for the millionth time. But it’s the 3^rd day in the row that AJ has gotten drunk. He’s been calling out for you everytime we bring him home. He refuses to step into the apartment as long as you’re not home. Please call me back.

I kept reading the other messages sent by Jessica and every single one said that AJ is drunk is has been living in their house the last few days. I skipped Yuri unni’s messages and went straight for AJ’s.

Friday, 8:10PM
Hey babe, I came home to a note saying that you need a break from us. Did I do something wrong? Why didn’t you tell me about it? I thought we were going to be honest with each other?

But you weren’t honest with me from the get-go AJ…

Saturday, 00:02AM
Krys, you’re making me worried. Please call me back if you get this message. I want to know what I did wrong so I can improve myself. Please don’t shut me out.

I skipped a few messages and read the latest one that was sent last night.

Thursday, 11:28PM
I don’t know what you’re thinking now, but please, come home to me. I don’t know how to be myself without you here with me. Let me show you how much I love you Krys. Please come home. It’s not the same without you…

That was her last message to me. 

Am I handling this all too wrong? Am I at fault here?

I scroll down the list of messages until I arrived at an unsaved number, hitting reply.

Friday, 03:56PM
Hanbyul, my flight back from Japan will land at 6.45am tomorrow. Could you come pick me up? I need some answers.

Sent.

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As I dragged my luggage out of the Arrival Hall, I saw Hanbyul waving at me. I couldn’t have been happier to see her.

“Thanks for coming Hanbyul…I kinda need more answers before I make my decision.”

“No worries, I figured you need them too. Considering how AJ’s been coming to me the past few days looking drained. She told me you guys are taking a break from your relationship?”

“Yeah…”

She helped me place my luggage in her car and we were off to her apartment since it was sort of like the safest place to be in without being constantly interrupted.

Once we arrived, she got me a hot cup of red tea to settle in.

“So you said you wanted answers? How can I help you?” Hanbyul said after taking a sip of her tea.

“Well, for starters, I would like to know AJ’s real name.”

“Her real name is really AJ. Just shortened from Amber Josephine. She has always felt like her name never really fit her image. So starting from the middle of sophomore year in High School. She started going by AJ.”

“What…what was she like?”

“She’s everything and anything you can ask for in a partner. It’s not that I have stopped loving her that’s why we broke up. We had no choice. I was headed to London for college...stay by her side and you’ll understand how much she can love someone.”

“I know she told you about me right?”

“Yeah. Ever since she found out about me working at Les Chic, we’ve been catching up a lot. She talks about you all the time. Kinda makes me jealous coz she was never that in love with me. Which comes to my next point Krystal, her knowing about your homophobia is the biggest factor as to why she’s afraid to tell you her true identity. Besides hiding from her psycho ex.”

“I heard about her too.”

“Then you will know why it’s even more important for her to hide.”

“But that doesn’t give her the reason to lie to me.”

“She did it because she loves you. Because she was afraid of how you’d look at her. Of how you’ll hate her. But she couldn’t stop falling in love with you Krystal. She made efforts not to when she found out about your fear of people like us. In the end, she found herself falling deeper in love with you. I know she had the choice to tell you herself about her not being a guy, but how could she when she loves to see you smile all the time.”

She really loves me…

“AJ…Amber…I don’t know how to hate her now…she’s been teaching me how not to treat people like you guys differently. That we’re all the same…yet here I am…judging the person who love me the most. You must think so lowly of me…”

“No. It’s called fear for a reason. Krystal, I will never hate the people who fear or hate us because they cannot understand us. It is also our duty to educate people about us. So no, I don’t think lowly of you because I know that even after red flagging a couple of strange stuffs about Amber, you still stuck by her side. Some part of you loves her too. You just needed some time to figure that out for yourself.”

I paused. Hanbyul is right. I did stick by her. I still wanted to know more about her and I still loved her. This is just a roadblock because I have finally come to terms with my fear. I’ve made up my choice.

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Last update for the week! that's like 5 chapters this week! WOW!