Chapter 23 

er for you 

(Note: Too many F words. Sorry🥹) 

They say nothing hurts than rejection. Oh, . It hurts like hell. My heart is throbbing like it will burst any minute from now. 

I look at her in her eyes and saw both of our eyes were filled with tears. Damn it. What the heck is going on in your brain, babe? 

I let out a soft, painful chuckle. I can’t believe what I just heard. “Are you ing serious, babe?” 

Her lips trembled as she left out a chuckle. “Y-Yeah. I… I realize I d-don’t really… l-like you at all…” 

I sighed. I placed my hand on the steering wheel and punch them. Hard. Harder. . I sarcastically laugh. Damn it. “And you just realized it by now?” 

Sandara looked away and nod. I saw her wiped her tears. Why, babe? If you don’t like me at all, why the are you crying? 

“Are you making fun of me right now? Is this part of a joke?” I grabbed my hair and lay my head on the steering wheel. It’s painful yet what I feel inside hurts more. “Are you ing kidding me?” 

She didn’t answer. Sandara remained silent as she look at the window. Her lips were trembling so as her shoulder because of her silent sobs. 

“Babe…” My voice cracked as I try to reach for her hand.  . I didn’t mean to say bad words and shout at her. “Babe…”

“I-I don’t l-like you, Ji.” She mumbled. “Y-You’re too clingy. You have… too many exes. A-And you are my rival. I w-wont like someone like you!” 

I chuckled. Is that so, babe? Is that the real reason? 

“If you don’t like me, then why the are you crying right now?!” I shouted. Heck, I just don’t understand. “Why, babe? Tell me? The real reason…” I plead. 

She shook her head and tries to get out of my car. Fortunately, I locked it earlier. 

“You can’t just run—“

“I need to get out!” Sandara screamed. She looked at me with her tear falling from her eyes. “I need to get out because I know, I know, I will take it all back.” 

“Then take the it all back! Take back those lies!” I also screamed at her. “, babe. You told me that you want to be my girlfriend. You… you told me that you like me too. . Were all those lies?!” 

Sandara wiped her tears as she speak. She sarcastically laugh. “I didn’t know you’re that gullible. You are a playboy before, right? How come you’re wasting your time on me? Why are you—“

“Because I love you! it. I changed because of you! I… damn it.” With my trembling hands, I held her hand tightly. And suddenly, I remember something… stupid. The hell to that stupid idea of yours! 

“Babe… tell me this isn’t about the exams. Tell me this isn’t just because you wanted to distract me so I can’t give the right answers to the exam. Please, tell me…” 

She snorted. “Fine! You want to know the t-truth? Yes! I want you to be distracted when taking the exams.” Sandara let out a chuckle and wiped her tears. “You… you’re a genius, Ji! No matter how much I try, how many days I bleed from studying, I just… I just can’t defeat you!” 

“Damn it. That’s it?!” I angrily roared. “ it, Sandara. I suggested before that I will put wrong answers so you can be the rank 1! I… I can do everything and anything you say, babe!” 

She shook her head and smirked. “Now that you know the r-real reason, let me get out.” 

I tried catching her eyes but she kept on looking below. Why? Why are you avoiding my gaze? Are you afraid I will know that you’re lying to me? Babe, please…

“Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t really like me.” I mumbled, more like pleading. Deep inside of me, I want her not to say those words- those words that will crumble my world. 

Sandara lifter her head and with tears she said, “I d-don’t like you at all.” 

I laughed. I can’t believe she said those words while looking at me. ! ! ! 

How can she do this to me? For a mere Latin Honor? How about those words? 

! She’s that desperate? 

She can lie to me, straight to my face, for a ing Latin Honor? She can lie about her feelings for me for a mere Latin Honor? She can… hug and kiss me for… it! 

Let out a sarcastic laugh. . “You’re… such a conniving . Indeed, you are an angel in disguise.” 

I opened the door lock and she immediately run away from my car. this feeling. I buried my head on the steering wheel as I let go of the tears I am holding. 

I TRIED TO compose myself before going back to the classroom to take the final exam. I didn’t even ate lunch. After Sandara left, I was left inside my car. I am so mad that I just want to punch someone. 

“Jiyong!” One of our classmate called me as I enter the room. “Oh, what happened to your eyes?” 

“Allergies.” I lazily sat in my designated chair. “What?” 

“Tonight, you’ll come to the afterparty right?” He inquired. Ah, that. 

I smirked and nod. “Of course.” 

“Hell yeah!” He shouted. “Oh, where’s your babe?” 

I shook my head bitterly. Babe huh… 

“I don’t know.” 

“Well, weird but whatever. I’ll see you later. I’ll text you the details.” 

A minute before the exam started, Sandara came in. Her eyes were swollen due to too much crying. 

I bitterly laugh. Crying? Why are you crying when you’re the one who told me to stop this… nonsense? 

Babe… you don’t know how much I wanted to hold you right now. I might beg for you to keep me. You don’t like me now? Fine! I’ll just hang around. Maybe you don’t like me now, maybe after a year or so. I can work things out. I… I fell for you, so damn hard, I don’t know what to do anymore. 

Just… give me another chance. I will do anything. Just… keep me. 

I finished the exam quickly. The quicker the better. I placed my pen and bow down my head, like a napping position. I kept on thinking what the heck is really wrong this time. 

Sandara… she’s not a liar. She may be a hardcore academic monster but she’s not a liar. All of those things, all of her actions- they’re not lies. She likes me, she told me that and I believed her. 

Is it really just about the exam? Damn it. 

My head is aching. Due to lack of sleep and stress. And because of Sandara. 

I sardonically laugh at myself. . 

We aren’t even a couple and yet… . 

If she doesn’t like me at all, why would she allow me to hold her hand? Kiss her? Be so close to her? . I’m so confused. 

Funny how scary people’s feelings change. I… I was so sure that everything will be alright; that if I take one step at a time with her, it will be just fine. That at the end, she will be mine. 

When the exam ended, I saw Sandara hurriedly went out of our classroom, before I could even approach her. I wanted to apologize for calling her name earlier. I was just so mad and now that I am calm, I regretted saying those words. I look at her disappearing figure full of dismay. 

“If you’ll just be honest with me…” I mumbled as I grab my back and go home. 

THE CLUB is so noisy. Well, it’s nothing unusual. 

I roam my gaze and saw my batch mates getting wild and crazy. Well, some of them were always with me clubbing before- yes, before I realise I like Sandara. 

Damn it. Now, I’m heading back thinking about her. I got a glass of Whiskey and drank. Damn. I missed the taste of alcohol. Its been months since I last tasted it. Before, alcohol runs in my system. Now? Coffee. Iced Coffee. Because that is Sandara’s favourite. 

I bit my lower lip as I bitterly took another shot. Sandara… Babe… I sighed. 

I saw some friends from other school. They were also shocked seeing me after months of MIA. 

See, Jiyong? This is your place and not the library and coffee shop. This, the club, booze and party, is the place where you really belong. The place that you really, really liked before. 

“Oh, Ji!” 

I took another sip of my drink. It stings in my throat but what more stings is the fact that Sandara really did her first plan. Heck, I didn’t even considered it at all! It was just a mere drunken words- so as I thought. 

Break me so I’ll be distracted during exams? it! Just tell me to skip the exams, babe, and I will gladly do it for you! 

I shook my head. The alcohol really taste good. 

“Oh, where is Sandara?” He asked while sitting beside me. 

I felt my ears burned the moment I heard her name. Damn it. 

“She’s here?” I asked. 

He nodded. “She was here a while ago looking for you— hey! Where are you going?” 

My mind is raising and my heart is beating so fast. it! Why the heck is she here? Is she with one of our classmates? Is she alone? Does she even know that everyone is getting drunk and- it! 

It’s not safe to be here! She’s not safe here without me. 

I tried to look for her but I failed. The pool of people is getting wilder and the lights were blinding. Damn it. I need to find her fast. To keep her safe. She will be safe if she’s with me. 

I went to the restroom, wishing that she’s there, but to no avail she’s not there. I was about to walk away when I saw someone running towards me from the mens restroom. 

“J-Ji!” She scream as she run towards me. 

“What the—“ 

I felt her warm embrace and it melt away all the pain and hatred that I felt for her. Damn it, babe. Just a mere hug from you and everything will be okay. 

“I-I’m… s-scared. H-Help me.” She said while shaking. 

I saw 2 boys getting out from the restroom. One of them were shaking his head as he zip his pants. 

I saw red. ing bastards. I held Sandaras arm. “D-Did they did something to you?” 

Sandara shook her head but she’s trembling so hard. 

When the boys got near us, they gave Sandara a dirty look, as one of them whistled and said, “Looks like I won’t get laid tonight.” 

it. I felt the raging anger within. I let go of Sandara and angrily kicked them from the back making them loose their balance and fell on the floor. 

I heard Sandara gasped, “J-Jiyong!” 

I looked at the boys sharply. They’re still facing on the ground, most probably shocked. 

“ing bastard! What the is your problem?!” Someone shouted. 

I squatted as I placed my foot on his back, while holding the neck of the other, not making them move. “You are the ing bastard. And you are my ing problem.” 

“What the—“

“It’s J-Jiyong!” One of the two recognised me. 

I smirked as I felt darkness enveloped me. 

“How dare you touch my girlfriend!” I roared. 

“E-Easy, dude. W-We didn’t know. She was a-alone and we thought—“

“ you!” 

He clenched his fist and punched them on their face. 

“Jiyong! Help! Somebody help!” 

He heard Sandara scream but he didn’t mind. He’s not contented- he punched the two again and again until he saw their bleeding face. 

In awhile the bouncer stopped me and pulled me away from them. “ you!” I screamed as I try to get near them. “ you! Who give you the right to touch my woman?!” 

I felt Sandaras cold hand in my arm, trying to calm me. “J-Ji… let’s just go home…” 

I removed the hands that is holding me and pulled Sandara away from the crowd. A lot of out classmates saw me punching those two but I don’t give a . 

I opened the car door and lightly pushed Sandara. “Get in.” 

“N-No. I-I have to g-go.” 

“Just ing get it, for s sake!” I shouted. 

I saw how her lips trembled and hurriedly went inside. I closed the door and exhale. I kicked the tire of my car. 

“! ! !” I shouted. 

I pulled my hair out of frustration. This is the first time Sandara saw this side of me. And I am scared that she might be scared and hate me. 

I went inside the car and drive silently. . Her scent that filled the every corner of his car is making him calm and crazy at the same time. 

“J-Ji…” Sandara said, cutting the long silence between us. “Your hands.” 

She said as she look at my hand on the steering wheel- there were cuts and it was bleeding. I don’t know who’s blood was it and I don’t give a . 

“Why the are you there?!” I roared. “It’s not safe that you’re there alone—“

“I want to talk to you—“

I looked at her sarcastically. “What the heck do you want?” Oh, God. I am so angry right now these words… were not sincere. Babe, I’m sorry if my words will hurt you…

“Ji…”

“You told me you don’t ing like me right? Why the heck were you looking for me?”

She didn’t replied. I parked my car in my units parking lot and dragged Sandara. 

“W-Wait. I-I need to go home—“

“We need to talk.” I seriously said to her. 

We were both silent inside the elevator. I’m still holding her hand firmly. Heck. I’m too angry and too emotional that even if my grip is too tight, I didn’t even flinch. 

As we enter my unit, I gently pushed her so she can sit on the couch. 

“Ji—“

“Shut up!” I shouted. “Just… just ing shut up, Sandara.” 

She lower her head. “I’m sorry…”

I massaged the bridge of my temple. “Just… just ing stop saying you’re ing sorry coz you are not.” 

I’m such a mess right now. These words, hurtful words, I don’t mean it, babe. I’m just… hurt. 

“Are you happy now? Huh? As you can see, I’m going crazy! I am ing hurt and ing angry at the same time.”

“Ji…” Sandara said as she tries to hold my hand. 

“Tell me. Honestly. Did you ing mean what you said to me earlier?” 

She didn’t replied. She just look at me with those… sad eyes. I closed my eyes, trying my best not to be affected by those eyes but, . My sweet, babe, why do you look so sad? 

Tell me, just say those words, and I will forget everything. 

“Ji, I’m…” she sighed and tears started to fall in her eyes. 

. Damn it. Stop crying, babe. 

I bit my lower lip and sighed. I lowered my body and brush the tears on her eyes. 

“You’re making me feel like I’m a fool, babe.” I whispered. “I want to know whats going on with you head. I want to know the real reason, babe. You… you kept on pushing and pulling me. Like a toy. And I… am a er for you.” 

“I… I love you, Ji. But—“

it all.

Maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s the emotional roller coaster ride. Or maybe, he just wanted to hear it from her directly- coming from her sinner lips who kept on spouting nonsense lies. 

With that, I pressed my lips on hers. 

No babe, you need to ing tell me the truth.