Chapter 21 

Cold Treatment 

I was Seventh Grade when I got my first kiss. It was with our class muse— Sohee. I was young back then and I don’t really remember what it feels like. I can say that I just kissed her because I wanted to have my first kiss before Taeyang could have his. Immaturity, I could say. 

I kissed and tasted the lips of so many girls before. A casual kiss in the bar, flings and flirty kisses with girls I hang out with. All of those kisses, I wanted to forget about them all. 

I just want to remember this kiss right now. The kiss I am having with the girl I really, really like— no, let’s scratch that part. I want to remember and imprint this memory in my head: the first kiss I shared with Sandara Park, the girl that I wanted to date so bad, the girl I love. 

I am kissing Sandara Park right now. In my unit. I saw her eye widening with so much shock and confusion. Who wouldn’t? 

The other minute we were silently reviewing for our exams, the next minute I am kissing her. 

I closed my eyes as I try to deepen the kiss. Heck, I know Sandara will get mad at me later but my rationality is nowhere to be found as of the moment. I’ll just face the consequences later. The only thing I am thinking right now is her lips and how delicious it taste. 

I am playing with her lower lip- teasing it, nibbling and gently it. I want her to feel the tension that I am feeling. I want her to feel the electricity. The intensity. Of what I truly feel about her. 

I tilted my head and gently placed my hand at the back of her head. I am kissing her, as if my life depends on it. Oh, ! My life really depends on this kiss! After kissing her, she might dump me for taking advantage! 

In awhile, I felt the cold sensation coming from Sandaras cold fingertips holding my neck. And good Lord, she’s kissing me back. She’s copying my every move— the way my lips move. 

All of those butterflies in my stomach is trying to get out. It’s churning the insides of me. 

I am teasing her as I try to insert my tongue in . Oh, ! I don’t want to rush things but damn her kissable lips. It’s making me irrational and immature. 

Sandara slowly opened and I had the taste of her sweet tongue. Heaven on earth! 

I am kissing her… and I lingered… and I wanted more. I am craving for more. Damn it. 

“Ahh…” A soft moan is escaping from Sandaras mouth. 

I froze. For a moment, I realised that this is not right. I shouldn’t do things I know she will regret in the end. 

Heck, where the heck is the ‘get things slow’ fiasco I am trying to stand huh? With just a simple touching of our knees, all of my rationale and inhibitions escaped. 

I opened my eyes and held Sandaras shoulder— I saw her eyes still closed. As much as I wanted to kiss her again, I forced myself to push her gently which made her open her eyes and met my gaze. 

I saw how her eyes widened and her face turned red— so as I. My heart is beating so fast and I felt like my soul just did a backflip. 

“S-Sandara…” I mumbled. We were both breathing heavily. My eyes darted on her lips. And although I pushed her away, her face is still inches away from mine. Her lips is still close to mine. 

“J-Jiyong…” she mumbled. Her eye movement become rapid. She’s becoming tense. 

“I’m… I’m sorry…” I said. I held her hand and place them on lips, giving her soft kisses. “I… I’m…”

ing . I don’t know what to say. 

I saw her eyes moistened, most probably she’s about to cry. I cupped her face and kissed her forehead. “Babe…” 

“I… I…” 

“I didn’t regret that I kissed you.” I started. I look at her in the eye— hoping she will understand me. “I just… I just think we are doing things out of order.” 

Really, Kwon Jiyong? 

I was never gentle with other girls. Even with my past flings— I always do things fast. Date, , goodbye. That’s how I do things. Before. 

But with Sandara? She’s the ray of sunshine that I need to protect. She’s even too good for me. Too nice for me. Too innocent for me. And I don’t want to rush things with her— she might hate me if I do things I used to do with my flings. 

She’s different. Way different. 

“I… I’m sorry I didn’t held back. Damn it. I… I don’t regret it yet I…”

“It’s… it’s okay, Ji.” Sandara said in awhile. She gave me a shy smile. “I’m… I’m sorry too. F-For… kissing you back.” 

“Oh, babe…” I mumbled. I gave her a hug and kissed her forehead. My heart is in somersault. Damn it. She’s too pure for me! Good Lord! 

“I’m sorry if I don’t know how to k-kiss. Y-You were my f-first kiss…” she whispered but I heard it. She lowered her head. 

“Your what?” I asked, confused. I held her chin and raised them. “But you’re dating someone before, right? Who’s that guy? From the Engineering?” 

“Jaejoong?” She shyly replied. I nod. She shook her head. “We didn’t kiss. I… I can’t do it with h-him…” 

I grinned. Damn it! I was her first kiss! I bit my lower lip as I kissed her forehead. Once, twice. Damn it! She only did it with me. Me! 

“You know I’m so ing happy right now.” I said while grinning. 

“Huh?” 

“I was your first kiss. !” 

Sandara smiled. Her cheeks were blushing. I rested my chin on her shoulders. Damn it. Sandara is really something. 

“You don’t know how happy I am right now, babe.” I whispered on her ear. 

“It’s just… a kiss.” 

I hissed. If she can see my face right now, she might be scared and runaway. 

“It’s not ‘just a kiss’, babe. Damn it.” I mumbled. “We are not yet a couple and yet we act like one.” I laugh. 

“I’m sorry…” she sighed. 

“Come on! Stop saying you’re sorry!” I laughed.  I pulled away from the hug, although I don’t want to, and faced her. “Well, I have a suggestion.” 

“Hmm. What is it?” 

I grinned. “Do you want to continue studying? Or do you want to watch movie? Or…”

“Or…?” 

“Do you want to kiss me again?” I joked, while wiggling my eyebrows. 

I saw Sandaras face turned red as she burried her face on my chest. “Jiyong!” 

“I’m just kidding.” I said while laughing. “But, really. We should rest for today. As a celebration of the success thesis presentation.” 

“Yeah, right. Maybe we need a break.” 

She nod. I kissed her hair. “I really, really like you, babe. And I can’t wait for you to be my girlfriend.” 

She didn’t reply. I just smile. 

TOMMOROW STARTS the ‘Hell Week’- a week that is packed with exams and deadlines. Student get crazy and grumpy. Everyone seems to be in a bad mood and lack of sleep. 

I sighed as I drove my car. It’s been a week since Sandara started to get ‘cold’. Cold in a sense that she starts to give me silent treatment and wouldn’t look at me. She’s always serious and she’s not laughing at my jokes. And she always go home after class! Damn it! 

I know, everyone is tensed because of the upcoming exams but damn it! I just want to be next to her. To support her. To make things easier for her. I could even be her tutor! 

“What’s wrong this time…” I mumbled as I parked my car in-front of her dormitory. I texted her about me being outside but she’s not replying. 

Today is their free time since tomorrow is the start of the exams. And he wanted to spend his day with Sandara. It may seems annoying and clingy, I don’t give a about that. I just want to be with her. Even if she’s cold to me. 

I promised to myself that I won’t do anything weird. I won’t be a distraction. I’ll… I’ll just silently sit beside her and watch her study. 

Even if I wanted, so so bad, to just hang out and have fun with her. Date her. I sighed. I’m going crazy. I’m falling hard. 

His phone vibrated and saw a message from her. 

From: Babe

Why are you here? Just go home and study. 

I sighed. I dialled her number but it just kept on ringing. I dialled again and again and this time, she answers it. 

“H-Hello?” She said. Oh, good Lord! It’s so nice to hear her voice again! How I missed hearing her voice! 

I know why she’s being cold- she’s pressured about the test. This will be the last exam- it’s like a make or break for her. And if she won’t do well, her dream of becoming the Top Student will remain as a dream. 

“I missed you….” I whispered. Oh, damn it. After hearing her voice, he felt like he’s cured. Her voice is really making him calm. Damn it. I’m in a real, deep trouble because of Sandara. 

“Go home, Ji. I’m busy.” She said coldly. 

I closed my eyes and massages my temple. My head is aching. Maybe because of too much studying but also because of Sandara. My complicated Sandara…

“Can I at least see you?” I asked, more like pleading. “I just… I just want to see you, babe.” 

I am so tired. I’ve been reviewing non-stop since yesterday morning so I can see her today. And I still haven’t have enough sleep. Heck, he just slept for 2 hours and went straight to Sandara’s dorm. He badly want to see her. Sandara is my home. The rest he needed in this tiring day. 

“Just… just go home. I-I need to study.” 

I sighed. “I haven’t slept since yesterday.” 

There was along pause. He thought the call ended. 

“I’m going down. Just… just wait for me.” 

A smile formed on my face as I heard her saying those words. Babe, you got me crazy. So crazy over you. 

In awhile he saw Sandara walking towards him. She has a backpack- most probably review materials. 

“Let’s go back to your unit. So you can get sleep.” 

I smiled. I pulled her closer to me and sniffed her head. Slightly giving her small kisses. Damn it. All the headache is gone. Her scent is really calming him. She’s really making me so, so crazy. So crazy for her. 

“I missed your scent…” I mumbled as I tightened my hug. “And I missed you, so, so damn much.”

Sandara stiffened and sighed. “Let’s just hurry up. So you can sleep and I can continue studying.” 

We got inside my car and I started to drive away. I am silently driving and from time to time took a glance at her. Sandara is silently staring on the window, seems to be thinking deeply. I wanted to hold her hand but I stopped myself from doing that. 

I sighed. “I bought Iced Coffee for you.” 

I pointed my finger on the cup handle. She sighed. “You don’t have to…” 

“I just… I missed you so ing much, babe.” 

She didn’t replied which made me sad. When we got to my unit, Sandara hurriedly unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door. I bit my lower lip as I try to suppress the growing anger in me. It seems like this… is more than just a pressure from studying huh. 

What did I do that made her like this? Is it because of the kiss? Damn it! Is this the consequence of not taking things slow? , Jiyong! You’re such an ! 

I gave her the space she needed because I know she wanted to focus on studying. I gave her that because I wanted what’s best for her. I gave her the space because I don’t want to be a distraction- I want her to focus on things that is important. And I know, even if it hurts the hell out of me, I am not her number one priority. 

I opened the door and sighed. When I got in, Sandara immediately held my hand and went to my room. Upon feeling the sensation of her touch, I almost melted. 

“Now, sleep.” She commanded. “I’ll just stay in the living room and study.” 

I pouted. “Can you… put me to sleep?” 

Sandara sighed. She crawled on top of my bed and motioned me to do the same. I bit my inner cheeks to hide my growing smile. I lay down beside her. 

“I missed you….” I mumbled. 

Sandara didn’t replied. Heck, this cold treatment is making me crazy! 

Sandara gently brushed her hand on my hair. It was light brushing and it’s making me sleepy. Adding to the fact that her scent is calming me. 

“Are you… mad at me?” I asked. “Did… did I do something wrong?” 

“I’m sorry…” she mumbled. “T-The pressure is eating me.” 

I chuckled. I can’t see her face because I am about to doze off. 

“It’s fine, babe. Because it’s you, it’s fine….” I mumbled. And before I doze off, I heard her whisper…

“I love you but I’m so sorry, Jiyong…”