Chapter 18 

My Sweet Karma 

“What the… it’s still 7PM! It’s too early to drink dude!” I heard my friend Taeyang shouted. 

We are now at the bar drinking. I called them to meet me because I am so stressed thinking about Sandara. Damn it. I should have seen this coming. Sandara is different- miles different from the girls I used to date and f… flirt. 

“I think I am screwed. Damn it.” I mumbled. “My karma is here.” 

I heard Daesung burst out a laugh. I gave him dagger looks. “Come on! We all know it’s about time karma will knock on your doors! You’ve been an since we were high school!”  

I took another sip of my JD. “And yeah, she really did came.” 

TOP looked at me, amused. “So, is it Miss Sandara?” 

I took another sip and looked away, making them laugh again. They were even howling like crazy dogs. ing . s. 

“And the mighty Kwon Jiyong’s downfall has come!” 

I took another sip. After sending her back to the dormitory, I hurriedly texted them to have a drink with me. Damn. Sandara’s presence is really shaking me big time. 

And I am glad I even survived. Being with her in my room, not even kissing her is the greatest accomplishment in my life! If it’s with another girl, god damn it, it will be wreck. 

“See? I told you. You really like her! Way, way back!” Taeyang said in a glee. As if knowing that I like Sandara made him a millionaire. “You’re just an for saying that you won’t like the likes of her.” 

“Well, I agree with him.” TOP said while nodding his head. “All of his past girlfriends—“

“—you all know I don’t do girlfr—“

“—yeah, whatever you call them. Flings, buddies, whatever.” TOP said while dismissing me. I looked at him angrily. “As I was saying, all of those… girls… well, Sandara is different. Just look at her? That pretty face is to die for!” 

“I know.” I said as I took another sip. Damn. Face card huh. 

“Are you sure you’re not just curious about her?” Daesung said, nonchalantly. I look at him. 

“What do you mean?” 

Daesung shrug. “I mean, you’re classmates, she’s so open about you being her enemy-slash-academic rival and she’s not your type to begin with. You know model-flirty-Jiyong’s prey type of girls.”

I saw Taeyang nodded. “Aren’t you just curious? About dating someone you’re not used to date?” 

I look at Daesung intently. I dismissed the thought as I took another sip. Heck, I considered that thought way before I even realised that I really like her. 

Being with her at school and outside, made me think about this. I may have developed a feeling for her out of curiosity. Or I just genuinely liked her eventually. Sandara is a likable person. Very likable. She’s kind, although uptight, and she’s hardworking and intelligent. 

If it’s the usual me (the version of me) and we’re not classmates and just saw her around campus, I wouldn’t even look at her. Heck, I wouldn’t even give her a glance. Sandara… has a pretty face and that’s it. She’s not my type and yet… I fell for her. 

“Dude, we know you. Are you here for the hype?” TOP asked while chuckling. “We may not know her personally but we can see she’s a nice girl. And smart. If you’re just curious, spare the poor girl.” 

“That girl is innocent!” Taeyang blurted. As if I don’t know! 

I looked away. How many times did I asked myself about this. I kept on arguing with myself every single day. Sandara is innocent and kind. If having feelings for her will spare her from the pain that I might give her, I should have stopped these feelings along time ago. But damn it, I can’t stop these feelings. I did try, I failed. Now, these feelings were overflowing. I cannot stop these anymore. Heck, I won’t stop these feelings anymore. 

If this is just curiosity, then why am I sad when I see her sad? Why am I angry whenever I see her cry? Why does my heart ache even just by seeing her? I even miss her even if she’s just there. 

Why does it feel like I can do anything and everything just for her? Just to see her smile everyday? Just to hear her laugh? Just to make her happy? 

. 

“I like her…” I mumbled. I look at the glass at the table and chuckled. I shook my head. Realising that this isn’t just out of curiosity. This is beyond that. That this… is serious. ing serious. “Heck, I really really like her.” 

Taeyang tapped my shoulder and smiled. “When it’s clear as sun, then, make her fall for you. Head over heels. And don’t hurt her, Ji.” 

I woke up Monday morning with a light heart. No more doubts in me. I texted her. 

To: Babe 

Want to go to the office together? :) 

I smiled to myself. Even if she’s not taking my feelings seriously, I’m still confident in calling her ‘babe’. And she’s not even trying to correct me and other people. She’s letting me call her ‘babe’ every time. Which… sounds gay but makes my heart flutter. 

I bit my lip as I suppress my smile. 

From: Babe 

Are you sure? lol 

I giggled. Damn girl. 

To: Babe

Sure. I’m actually infront of the dorms now hehe Take your time babe…

I went out of the car and sat on my car hood. It’s still too early to go to the office. Few more weeks and the internships will end. After the exam and thesis then we will graduate. 

Graduation. I sighed. I remember the ‘drunken confession’ she had the other day. It’s not like I don’t take it seriously. I know Sandara is serious about it- drunk confessing or not. 

Ever since freshmen, she’s really vocal about it. I do believe she can do it. I know her capabilities. She’s great. But, will it be enough? 

I don’t know her grades but I know my grades were greater than hers. I’m the over all rank 1 in our batch, and she’s next to me. Based on the percentage, It’s way more far from her grades. Will it be really enough? I sighed. 

“Wow! You’re really here!” I heard her said as she rush towards me. 

I smiled at her. She wears her hair in a ponytail with a little curl at the end. It felt like it was in a slow-mo as she rushed towards me. My heart did a backflip. 

“Hmmm…” . I’m speechless. “G-Good morning.” 

She held my arm. “Good morning.” 

“Let’s go.” I opened the door for her. I inhaled her scent. Damn it. Why does her smell makes me weak? 

I bit my lower lip. And upon entering the car, I almost lost my when her scent filled the corners of my car. I sighed. I don’t like thinking weird things towards her. Sandara isn’t like my past flings. 

“Are you okay?” She asked, worried. Her eyebrows furrow. 

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine.” I look away and started the engine. 

The car ride went smooth. Maybe because it’s still early. We talked about random stuffs and actually, it’s not boring. With Sandara, even if we talk about the History of Egypt, it won’t be boring. And I take back those words when I declare that she’s a boring person. It’s the past version of Jiyong- the version. 

“Let’s grab something to eat first before going to the company.” I said while maneuvering the car towards the fastfood chain. 

“And Iced Coffee please.” Sandara said, while giving me those puppy eye look. Oh, good Lord! My day is almost complete! 

I chuckled. “Of course babe.” 

I said my order and we were told to wait. I heard the song on the background. The song Sandara played from her phone. 

I’ve been to busy 

Ignoring and hiding 

About what my heart actually say…

I laugh at my own thoughts. This song… I can relate to this one. 

“Uhm…” she mumbled. 

“Hmm?” I said while stepping on the gas. “Thanks.” I mumbled as I took our food. 

I started to drive again to the parking. We’ve decided to eat on the parking since we’ve still got time. The company is just a few blocks from here so we won’t be late. 

“What is it babe?” I asked. “Here’s your Ice Coffee.” 

“Thanks.” She replied. 

“Tell me.” 

She look at the window, as if hiding her face. “W-why are you calling me babe?” Her voice trembled. As if nervous. 

So this is what she’s been thinking. “Hmm. Because I told you that I like you?” 

I saw how she twisted her head to look at me. And I saw how her flushed her face were. . 

“Are you really sure about that?” She said while chuckling. “I know I usually deny that we are friends but I’ve known you since freshmen. I saw the girls you… usually date. And it’s the complete opposite of me.” 

I looked at her seriously. 

I never been enjoy my serenity 

Even if I’ve got a lot of company…

“Have you ever been inlove before?” I asked her. “Because I’m not. I used to be just… I used to around. I treat girls like tissue- once used, throw it away. I know I am a good catch, and I took an advantage to that. And now that I think about it, I’m not really proud of it.” 

I heard Sandara chuckled. “Of course.” 

“But… I don’t know. I don’t know how it all started. I can’t give you the exact time that I felt this towards you. But Sandara, trust me when I say that I like you because I really do.” 

She went silent. 

Gotta have to always make sure 

That I’m not just somebody’s pleasure…

I bit my lower lip as I wait for her comment. I look at her and saw her eyes completely shut. Then I saw her sigh. 

“You know that I have a crush on you when we were freshmen.” She started and I almost peed on my pants as she stare at me. Those… intense stares. Her eyes were sparkling. 

I gasped for air. It felt like I forgot how to breathe. 

“Who wouldn’t have a crush on you?” She said while chuckling. “You’re a brilliant person. With good social skills- which by the way, I am really thankful for. Because of that, I gained a friend.” 

I stared at her, giving her equivalent intense stare. “But the thing is… I always suppress my feelings because I need to focus on my studies. I need to prove to my parents, to my dad and to myself that I made the right choice. T-That’s why I-…I’m content with having you as my f-friend.” 

“Sandara…” 

She smiled at me. “I really, really like you too Ji. To be honest, I once dreamed about dating you.”

My lips trembled as I heard her say those words to me. I, once again, gasped. My heart is beating so fast that I can’t even concentrate. I’m so glad I am not driving coz if not, most probably I crashed my car at this very moment. 

“But…”

“Oh no… oh no…” I mumbled, more of a whisper.

“You know that I need to graduate first, right? I like you. Even until now. But the thing is, I need to focus on my studies.” 

I held her hand. “W-Well we can date and… uhh… graduate together. P-Promise, I won’t be a distraction.” Oh ! I do sound do sound so desperate! “I… I will help you with your studies.” 

“You don’t understand…” she said as she shook her head. 

“I like you. Heck, I think I love you, Sandara.” I confessed. I’ll be damn if I won’t tell her right now. Not the romantic place to confess my feelings but my heart is about to explode! Hearing her tell me she has a crush on me and likes me makes me want ti scream and run! 

“I’m sorry…” 

“Tell me, honestly, do you like me too?” 

“Y-Yes. I… I really, really like you too…” she mumbled. “But—“

“There is no but.” I cut her. A huge smile is visible on my face. “I like you and you like me too. The feeling is mutual.”

“But I can’t date you—“

I grinned. “I don’t care. The most important thing to me is what you really feel towards me. I don’t need labels, Sandara. I like you and you like me. Even if you can’t date me- officially date me- I don’t give a to that.” 

“But it would be unfair to you—“

“I assure you, it wont.” I said while grinning like an idiot. “I can wait. Half a year? No problem. Even if you tell me that you still need another year to focus on our reviews? I don’t care. The label? The heck to that.”

“Jiyong…”

“I won’t distract you with your studies, babe. Just…” I said as I held her hand and gently squeeze them. “Just let me be by your side. The label can wait.”