Standing still behind the door of her bedroom, Taeri stares down to her phone currently ringing. “What the —why Is he awake at this time?” She hisses to herself before rushing to her bedroom. By the fifth ring, she eventually answers but somehow, she couldn’t open to even say a simple Hello. It was hard for her because she never even thought he would respond so quickly.

“Taeri-yah.”

She feels her chest tighten a little at the sound of his soft yet deep voice calling her name.

“H-hi.” Taeri manages to speak up while gripping on her pillow tightly. “How’ve you been. . .” Kyungsoo replies and his tone didn’t sound like he was asking at all – as if he already knows how she is but just wanted to hear her voice more. Taeri shuts her eyes up again while trying to find the right words to say. “I’m okay but. . . Kyungsoo ssi—” She clears , feeling weird of calling him formally. “—we’re not even supposed to talk like thi—I don’t know how to deal with this situation, it’s blowing my mind. I feel like. . . every little interaction I share with you would be so unfair for Hyunwoo, to be honest. Do you know what I mean?” She finally succeeds on explaining her feelings.

“It won’t be unfair if we’re meaningless. Aren’t you talking to me right now for him? It’s not about us anymore, us doesn’t matter. There was never even an us to start with. R-right?”

“Y-yes. There isn’t but you need to understand that this really bothers me. The situation is so—”

“I’m sorry Taeri but there’s nothing we can do about it. We had a past that only the two of us know and now my best friend’s madly in love with you. That’s the situation.”

On the other end, Kyungsoo has completely taken a break from cooking. He walks over to his couch to have a seat, he feels like his knees are slowly getting weaker at every word she says. There was a brief silence before Kyungsoo spoke up with a solemn chuckle. “Small world, isn’t it.” He hushes, his voice full of sorrow and even Taeri on the other line could feel it. “I don’t know about this, Kyungsoo ssi. I. . . I at hiding things I just—” Taeri lets out a big frustrated sigh as she pauses. “I care for Hyunwoo, he’s a nice guy. You picked well. That’s all I could say right now. Bye.” Kyungsoo briefly replies before hanging up first.

He couldn’t take one more second to talk to her about something that doesn’t have any future.

It hurts too much.

He leans to the couch resting his neck on it.  He badly wished it was okay to choose his happiness first for once. He wished he could be selfish and not care about the consequences. He can’t believe his only way to happiness now would hurt someone he cares for in return. He places his palm on his forehead and taps himself a few times, his force getting harder each time. “Ahh—Kyungsoo, are you allergic to happiness.” He asks himself while laughing pathetically.

Losing all his energy to Taeri, he puts all of his ingredients back into into the fridge and just walks straight into his bedroom with his case of beer.

At this point, no food could fill him up – might as well get drunk to forget the emptiness inside of him.

All his life, he knew he has always craved for real happiness and Taeri provided him that – it wasn’t just the ; it was everything that she is. It was the fact that he never needed to be perfect in front of her. Hearing her voice again made him crave that same feeling she gave him five months ago, it felt all right. It felt magical, somehow.

But now all that cravings would seem nothing but toxic.

_ _ _

Ding dong

Ding dong

Kyungsoo pulls down the blanket over his head, struggling to open his eyes. Today is one of his rare days off and all he wanted to do was to lay down in bed and literally do nothing. Besides, he’s having a bad hangover from last night. “Just a second!” He shouts with this voice cracking, although he knew the person wouldn’t hear that at all. He stumbles as he gets off the bed but manages to walk out of his room while wearing his t-shirt. With his eyes half-open, he walks over to the front door and opens it.

“My goodness, son. You look like a mess.”

It was his mother. “Oh. . . good morning, mom.” He greets while moving to the side to let her come in. “It’s almost good afternoon. Aigoo, you got drunk, didn’t you?” She walks into the kitchen placing a basket that she’s holding on the counter. Kyungsoo glances at his wall close realizing it’s already 11AM. “No, not a lot.” He answers wobbling his way over to his mother. “I’m just having a really bad headache. It’s okay though, I don’t have work today.” He adds while rubbing his palms over to his face as if trying to wake himself up more. “Aigoo, you should be relaxing and taking a rest, not getting yourself drunk on your days off. Anyway, I brought some pickled radish and kimchi for you. You go wash up to feel better. I’ll cook breakfast, okay? You go now. Oh dear, you’re thirty-one and you’re being a baby.” His mother pushes him back in his bedroom until he reaches the bathroom.

He closes the bathroom door before leaning on it.

“Ugh, I wish washing up alone could make me feel better.”

It took him about half an hour in the shower. A warm shower was his only remedy at this point. He wraps his towel around his waist before getting out, walking straight to his closet. He was grabbing a random  black shirt from the top of the closet when the door suddenly opened. “Oh my god, Mom! Can’t you at least knoc—Oh. . .” He stops yelling when he realizes it was not his mother but his best friend, Hyunwoo.

“Cool down, man.” Hyunwoo replies while laughing. “You can still knock, you know.” Kyungsoo can’t help but to reply coldly making the guy frown. “The ? What’s with the mood?” Hyunwoo asks before walking towards him. Kyungsoo wears his shirt first before quickly getting a pair of jeans to wear. “No—just. . . I had a few drinks last night so I just have a headache.” He replies while looking away as much as possible. “You’re appearing like a mushroom everywhere lately.” He adds before walking to his study desk to grab his phone. “Well of course~ it’s not been long since I got home. I’ve been going here and there with families and to you, I missed you guys. Back in the states, I was all alone so I’m still overly joyed to be home, I feel like I need to see you all everyday, cause it’s still hard to believe I’ll be staying here for good. I feel like I have a time limit. Any problem, dude?” Hyunwoo mocks while nudging him on the back. When Kyungsoo didn’t respond, Hyunwoo’s frown went back. “Did I do something? You seem off.” He asks while trying to peek at his best friend’s face. “No~ of course not. I just really hate hangovers, that’s it.” Kyungsoo lies before walking to the door, again, walking ahead to avoid Hyunwoo’s eyes.

“Aigoo~ don’t be such a baby, we’re men, we drink and get wasted but we don’t feel anything~”

 Kyungsoo rolls his eyes while chuckling, finally calming down a bit. “Uh huh, how I wish I really don’t feel anything.” He replies as they walk together towards the living room. “Have you talked to mom? She’s in the kitchen.” He said while looking at Hyunwoo who was madly giggling. “Yes, I did. She was the one who opened the door for us.” The guy answers before putting an arm over him. “Us?” Kyungsoo asks before unconsciously looking around the house to see a familiar back figure standing by the tall windows of the living room.

As if the whole world stopped for a moment, Kyungsoo stood there with his eyes glued towards her figure, Kim Taeri.

There was not a single doubt in his mind that it was her.

The first thing that he noticed is that her hair got longer, it reaches her lower back now. She was wearing a powder blue Sunday dress that ends on her mid-thighs. “Babe~” Hyunwoo calls before walking pass Kyungsoo to get her. A quick yet painful stab come