I don't know how he did it, but he did, he came through. Bang PD Hyung came through.

News of me and Suran Unnie disappeared as if nothing happened and photos of Lisa and I were never released. That was nearly three months ago and now everything was slowly going back to its rightful place, so why did I feel that something was not right.

I guess it came with the territory of you can never be happy when you’re an idol.

Since Blackpink had their comeback and their Japanese debut, Lisa was busy. So busy, that I hardly saw her, which was ruining my state of mind, not only was she busy, so was I.

Thank god for fan-cams, I got to watch her enjoy what she was doing, laughing with her members, interacting with her fans, she made me reminisce about my time debuting as an idol.

It was the hardest time of my idol life, just debuting, but it was a memory that I cherish the most because it made me who I am, and do not take anything for granted and to humble myself. 

I sat in the studio finishing off some last-minute details for our upcoming album, I told the members to go home, since practice really took a toll on them and the staff because they had to get home to their own family.

I looked down at my phone it was nearly twelve at night and I was still wide awake.

I smiled at my lock screen, my fingers tracing her small face, I missed her, and I haven't even spoken to her for nearly a week when she left for Japan. She texts, but its not enough, I miss hearing her voice.

Looking at her photo helped, her blonde hair, her skin wrapped in my sheets…

------------------------------

“Have you ever thought about taking the next step with Lisa?”

I looked up at Jin.

“Even if I did Hyung, I’m not talking about it with you,” I said, going back to ignoring him and watching videos of Holly, that Omma was sending me.

“Yah! I’m the eldest, I’m mature and I obviously know more about this and you should come to me and ask for help because I know how—”

“Should I go down on her since this is her first time, I don’t want—”

“YAH!” Jin yelled, his cheeks turning red. I laughed shaking my head at him.

“Yeah, very mature” I laughed,

“Hyung, I get it, you and Jisoo had , you took each other’s V card”

“YAH!!” Jin yelled as he stood up and was now looking around the room. We were currently in the dressing room waiting to go on stage for our comeback for ‘I Need U’

I looked at him, “You know you're drawing more attention to yourself,” I said, putting my phone down.

Jin glared at me, realizing that people were only staring at us because Jin was yelling and the only one standing.

“How did you know?” Jin whispered sitting back down opposite me and moving forward, till he was right in my face.

“When have you ever, talked about with me,” I said, Jin looked around still thinking that people were listening to us. The Maknaes were doing their makeup and teasing the stylist. Namjoon was talking with Sejin Hyung and the stage director, probably discussing last-minute details on the stage and Hoseok was zoned out with his headphones on.

So, no one was listening to what Jin and I were talking about, and I really don’t think that they would care.

“Hyung,” I said pushing his face away.

Jin stared at me before leaning back against the couch. “It was beautiful, she was beau—”

“Yeah, I don’t need details, nor do I care to hear details,” I said.

Jin pouted, “It was a beautiful night, and we just stared at each—”

“Hyung, as much as I don’t want to hear this, which I don’t, I also think that if Jisoo found out that you were saying this to me, she would probably skin you alive,” I said.

Jin frowned, “This will be you one day, and I can’t wait to see your face and hear you tell me every single de—”

“Do you know how creepy you sound,” I said, shaking my head at him.

“ is a natural—”

“So, what position do you suggest, Missionary, Dogg-YAH!” I yelled rubbing my thigh, that Jin slapped.

I have never seen Jin’s face so red and he wasn’t even talking or yelling at me.

“Hyung, I’m going to tell you this, and I’m only going to tell you this once,” I said

He quickly nodded, moving forward. The things I do for this Hyung of mine.

“Lisa and I, we’ve discussed having , I mean it was only bought up when one of our make-out sessions went a little too far. We talked, and Lisa’s not ready and I don’t mind, she asked if I had and I told her I did, we’re comfortable and that’s all I want for her to be, I don’t care about waiting, I don’t care if she chooses not to have . Lisa means more to me than just having with her.”

I smiled “When she’s ready, then I’ll be ready for her.”

Jin stared at me before he broke out into a big smile.

“I taught you well”

“You didn’t tea—”

“Look at you growing into the mature…”

I rolled my eyes, a habit I picked up from Lisa

“…and understanding young man you are.” Jin finished,

“What are you two talking about?”

Jin quickly jumped up, “Nothing, we’re talking about nothing, why? Do we have to be talking about something, which we aren’t… You thirsty, because I am, anyone else wants a drink, no, okay”

I looked at Namjoon before looking back at Jin who was walking away.

“What was that about?” Namjoon asked, taking Jin’s seat.

“He had ,” I said,

Namjoon nodded “I wanted to see how long he was going to keep that a secret for, what it’s been like… three days now” he laughed.

“He’s happy,” I said, Jin was now on his phone, giggling to himself.

Namjoon nodded, “Let me guess, he wanted to ask about you and Lisa,” he asked.

I nodded “You know him too well.”

Namjoon shrugged his shoulder, “I bet he was shy when you mentioned the word ”

I laughed wondering how Namjoon knew, how Jin would react.

Namjoon smirked “He may be the eldest, but he is still a baby”

“I wonder if he knows that it was only him, Kook, and Tae who were the only s,” Namjoon said,

I shook my head, “He thinks everyone is still a , he asked Hoseok, why did he find condoms in his room, I had the best remark to say, but Hoseok stuttered, apologized, grabbed the condoms and took off,”

Namjoon chuckled, glancing over at the Maknaes, then he smiled “I have a feeling that Tae is going to stay a until he gets married.”

I nodded, knowing how Taehyung acts, how could I not believe it, the guy is a saint… literally.

“And Kook, well, who knows, even if he did lose it, I doubt he’ll tell us,” Namjoon said, laughing at Jungkook, who was punching, Jimin in the shoulder when he pushed Jungkook out of the makeup chair.

“What about you and Lisa?” Namjoon asked,

I looked at him and smiled, “She’s not ready and I’m not ready,”

“And you don’t mind waiting?”

“For her, I’ll wait forever”

------------------------------

“I miss my blonde hair”

I jumped forward off the chair and spun around to see the one person I have been dying to see.

Lisa stood there laughing at my reaction.

Her laugh.

I smiled “When did you get back?” I asked.

She ignored my question moving the chair aside, she moved forward, her arms reaching for me, and my arms going around her, and she was already kissing me.

I pulled her body flush against mine, making her gasp, her hands wrapped around my neck, bringing me closer to her deepening our kiss, our tongues fighting for dominance.

I pulled back, just an inch from her lips, her breath fanning across my face, our forehead leaning against each other. I smiled staring down at her lips that I wanted to take a bite at.

“I missed you too” I whispered against her lips.

“I need you” she whispered.

Not giving her the time to react, I gripped her waist, lifting her up as her legs wrapped around my hips. I didn’t give a damn about the fact that we were making out in the middle of the recording studio, or that anyone could walk in and catch us.

The possibility of getting caught was such a turn on. Then again this wasn’t the first time we have done it in this recording studio.

I could feel her fingers threading through my hair, tugging me closer and sliding her tongue past my lips while tightening her legs around me. I bucked my hips against hers, making her moan loud.

I smirked hearing her moan against my ear, her hands were now digging into my shoulder, trying to keep her balance, I backed her up against the wall. My lips kissing and leaving small bites along her jawline and down to the side of her neck, feeling her fingers tugging at my hair.

Hearing her moan and turn her head to the side to give me more access, I groaned against the smooth soft skin of .

“…I’ve…Missed you” I said against , the spot, I smirked hearing her gasp.

I could feel her fingers trying to grip onto my shirt, I pulled back, seeing her grin before she grabbed the end of my shirt and pulling it up over my head. I pinned her to the wall moving my hands away and throwing my shirt somewhere in the room.

I looked at her and smirked when she her lips, eyeing my body.

She liked what she saw. Who can blame her,

I went back to leave a mark against her neck, my hands were underneath her white crop top, feeling her smooth skin at the tip of my fingertips, I stopped just at her ribs, I smirked into her neck when I heard her groan.

“Nobody likes a tease” she mumbled, pulling at my hair

“Ahh” I groaned, she giggled before grabbing my wrist and moving my hand to up to her… no bra. Minx.

“Who’s the tease now?” I growled, feeling her against my fingers, I massaged her as she let out a loud moan, closing her eyes, her head falling against the wall.

“God! I've missed this” she moaned.

So, have I

~~~~~~~

I don't know how long we laid here, our bodies tangled and on the ground. Too exhausted to even move.

Our heavy breathing and my heart beating so fast is the only sound I could hear in the room.

She was drawing small circles over my chest, I nuzzled into her hair, inhaling her sweet scent.

I love smelling myself on her.

“That… was… amazing” she breathed against my chest,

I could only nod since my head was the only body part, of mind that I could move. I felt completely satisfied, with the week I had, she was the only one who could make it better, having , is just an added bonus. She could be fully clothed, lying in my bed looking at her phone and I’d be happy.

I smiled looking at her form curled up on top of me, I leaned forward reaching for my jacket that was on top of the chair and placed it over her, covering her body.

I didn’t lock the door and if someone were to come in, I don’t think I’ll be fast enough to cover her, that means I’d have to kill whoever came in and I would hate for it to be someone I actually liked.

“When did you get back?” I asked since I’m still waiting for an answer, from the first time I asked her.

She snuggled closer to me, hiding her face into the crook of my neck, my arms holding her close to me, “This morning” she whispered, I could feel her lips trailing down the side of my throat

“Yah! give me time to catch my breath” I groaned.

She giggled, “Don't worry old man, I need my rest as well”

I needed the recharge, having Lisa as your girlfriend can mentally and physically drain you, but I wouldn’t trade her for anything because she makes me happy.

“Two hours ago,”

Which in idol terms it translates to, ‘I only have a few hours to spend with you, before I leave’

“When do you leave?” I asked my fingers still combing through her hair,

“Tomorrow morning, so in a few hours,” she whispered, I frowned knowing all her voices and her facial expressions, but this, the way she whispered, I don't know, it just didn't seem right.

“If we weren't idols, do you think, that we… that we would be dating?” she asked I looked at her and she smiled up at me.

“Honestly,” I started, and she nodded.

“No,” I said,

“YAH!” I yelled, rubbing my chest where she pinched.

She pouted “I wanted you to say yes, and say something like, it’s because our love was meant to be or we were fated to be, something that would sweep me off my feet,” she said, her eyes all dazed.

All I have to say is that Lalisa Manoban knows how to make me laugh, she slapped my arm, when I wouldn’t stop.

“You watch too many dramas” I groaned, not only am I going to have scratches on my back, I was going to have bruises on my chest and arm.

I smirked at her, “Besides you didn't let me finish,”

I could tell she was rolling her eyes and I didn’t even have to look at her to know, “I said no because we wouldn't be dating.” she looked down at me, her hands resting underneath her chin. I smiled my right hand cupping her small face, my thumb grazing her cheek.

“We would be married already, and the whole world would know that you are mine and I don’t have to worry about leaving…” I moved my hand down to her neck touching the purple mark against her neck “…my mark on you.”

Her cheeks turned red so fast. She pulled back covering her face with her hands, I laughed at her reaction as I sat up, bringing her with me, holding her by her waist, her legs wrapped around me, I gripped her thighs, my jacket falling away. 

“You're too cute for your own good” I whispered.

I moved her hands up so I could cup her face “Were you swept off your feet?” I asked, she smiled at me and nodded.

Then she pulled me forward, her arms going over my shoulder, my hands spread across her back, holding her close to me, feeling her chest against mine.

“I love you” I whispered against her ear, feeling her arms tighten around my shoulder.

“I'm not tired anymore,” I said nipping at her ear, my fingertips running down her spine, I smirked when I felt her shiver in my arms.

“Not now old man,” she said, leaning back, I groaned at the loss of her warmth,

“We’re having a really serious talk, right now,” she said, kissing the side of my jaw,

I leaned back on my arms watching her stand up, , her skin covered in sweat, but it had that after- glow, her hair messed up, except for her bangs, that was untouchable. Her long legs and—that . I smirked when she bent down to pick up my Jacket. 

“Did I ever tell you, how beautiful you are.” I smiled when she blushed, throwing my jacket in my face, I moved it away to see her already pulling her underwear on.

I laughed, following her lead, I grabbed my sweats, thankful that I chose to wear them instead of my Jeans, I reached for my shirt, but she beat me to it. She giggled throwing my shirt on and covering that body of hers…ing shirt.

She grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the couch.

How the did I miss the couch,

She pushed me down before sitting next to me my left arm going over her shoulder, she leaned back into my chest as she reached for my right hand and intertwining her fingers in mine.

“So, what’s so serious that we had to get dressed up for,” I said, pulling at my shirt.

She moved my hand to her lips, I smiled feeling her lips against my hand, then I felt something wet.

I leaned forward grabbing her face, moving her head to face me, she was crying.

“, Lisa, what’s wrong?” I asked, moving her body to fully face me, she stared at me before she flung her arms around my neck, she cried into my shoulder and I was starting to panic holding her close.

“Lisa,” I said, rubbing her back in soothing circles, but she kept crying and it was hurting me more, hearing her cry and I didn’t know why,

“Lisa, you have to tell me what’s wrong,” I said, gripping her shoulder, trying to pull her away so I can look at her.

“Lisa,” she finally stopped crying.

I waited for her to catch her breath, but a part of me was scared to hear what she had to say.

“YG knows”

“What do you mean?” I asked, cupping her face to wipe her tears, she leaned into my palm.

“I don't know how he found out, but he did and…”

I think I know-how.

YG was only good for one thing, and that's media play. PD-nim must have bargained with him. PD-nim was good, but a scandal that involves blackmail, or even, two artists from two top chatting groups, it was hard not to deny the opportunities a person could get with this information.

“He gave me an ultimatum,” Lisa said,

Of course, he did, why ing not, I stared at her and I already knew what her decision was, I sighed closing my eyes, Please, Lisa…please don’t…

“I chose you,” she whispered

“Lisa,” I whispered. “Please don't say—”

“I chose you” she said louder. “I'm crying… because tomorrow, I have to say goodbye… to the girls and it hurts—” she cried

“Lisa” I said, looking down at my hands, I didn’t realize I was squeezing her hands so tightly.

“Don't!” she said, “I need you,” she cried,

You don’t think I need you too.

I could feel my tears starting to fall against my cheeks.

“You have to go back,” I said, pulling my hands away.

!

“No, I made my decision” she frowned, trying to reach for my hands, her body now fully facing me.

I moved my hands away from hers, “And I am making mine, you have to go back, and tell him you changed your—”

“NO!” Lisa yelled, standing up. “We can do this Yoongi, you and I against the world”

I stared at her shaking my head, “Then you wouldn't be the girl I fell in love with, I fell in love with a girl who fought for her dreams, who sacrificed everything to get where she is, she left her country, her friends, her family, she moved to a country where she knew nothing, she knew no one, but she worked hard for her dreams and now. Now you’re just going to throw it away, for what. For me!”

“Yes” she whispered, I could hear my heart breaking all because of that one word.

“Lisa” I started, but she glared down at me.

“No! I know what you’re doing. You think I'm going to regret this decision when I'm older and maybe I will, but the same thing will happen whether I choose to go back, either way, a decision is made with regrets no matter what you choose. Regret follows, so why can't we choose to be happy in, the moment”

“Because moments don't last!” I yelled, surprising her and even myself, “We'll break up eventually, and you'll leave and then you will just be a normal person with regrets.”

I know, I’m being harsh, but this is the only way.

“A few months ago, you were fighting for me, for us. How is this any different?” she cried, she kneeled down in front of me, between my legs, her hands reaching up to cup my face.

“I'm fighting for us, all you have to do is just hold my hand,” she whispered. I stared at her willing myself not to move.

Her head bent down, before looking back up at me. “Just stay by my side, we can face anything as long as we're together,” she cried, her tears streaming down her face.

I was hurting her, and I was hurting myself. Was it really worth it, Is it? We could run away forget this life, start a new, but I love her, and I see the way she smiles when she’s performing on stage, the way her eyes light up when her fans call her name, the way she dances, the way she controls the audience, the power she holds on stage. She was never doing this for the fame or money, she was doing this because this was her dream.

If I take her hand, I will be taking her dreams with me.

I love you.

“Please don't do this to us,” she begged, leaning up, her forehead against mine, still cupping my face in her hands, “I love you Yoongi” she cried.

I felt lost in her words and I couldn't do anything, I couldn't even look at her. I’m a ing coward.

“I'm sorry”

I whispered closing my eyes, feeling her soft lips against mine.

“Every time”

she whispered.

Then I felt nothing, I felt cold, I felt alone…hearing the door close was the worst thing I could ever hear in my life.

I don't know how long I sat there in the studio, crying into my hands, my heart, breaking at every second of the reality that I lost the one thing in my life that made me happy.

I looked up and stared at a little black velvet box that sat atop on the recording table.

“I love you,”