“BREAKFAST!”

I groaned, not again, it's too ing early Maknae. I really need to get a lock.

“GET OUT KOOKIE!”

My eyes flew open to see a pillow being thrown across the room towards Jungkook who quickly ducked like it was just an everyday routine for him.

I smiled, staring at the angry beast lying next to me who was trying to pull the covers over her head.

I looked back at Jungkook who was smiling at me and Lisa. Taehyung is rubbing off on him, I need to separate the two.

“Hyung set another plate, sleeping ugly stayed the night” Jungkook yelled,

“YAH!” Lisa yelled, sitting up, I watched her grab the nearest thing to her and throw it towards Jungkook who quickly ducked again, and the closest thing that just happened to be near Lisa was my phone. Jungkook stood there smirking before he quickly left closing the door behind him.

My phone.

My poor innocent phone, lay on my bedroom floor with its screen cracked, I could hear the Maknae laughing on the other side.

I’ll deal with that later. I shook my head moving closer to Lisa, hugging her from behind, her head nestled against my shoulder since her pillow was lying on the ground next to my cracked phone.

I smiled kissing the top of her head.

“I still hate you” she whispered, I nodded moving down to kiss the side of her neck.

I love the way she smells.

“And I still love you,” I said, feeling her snuggle closer to me.

“Good” she whispered.

I smiled my arms hugging her closer, feeling her whole body pressed against mine.

“OMO! I forgot to tell Chaeng…”

“Don't worry, I texted Chae last night when you fell asleep against me… in the park” I smiled, hearing her giggle.

“By the way, what happened to your phone?” I asked,

“The same thing that happened to your phone…”

“Mianhae,” she mumbled.

I laughed “Did Jungkook wake you up yesterday?” I asked she laughed shaking her head.

“Ani, your article woke me up,” she said, turning around in my arms, so she could face me.

“I think, I’m quite possessive of you,” she said. What am I supposed to say to that, this girl drives me crazy with how expressive she is with her feelings;

I ing love you Lalisa Manoban.

“I SAID BREAKFAST!” Jungkook yelled.

“AND I SAID GO TO HELL!” Lisa yelled back.

As much as the two are good at evil plotting together, they are a whole new story when they are against each other, it's like World War 3.

“YOU FIRST!”

“BEFORE OF AFTER I CUT YOUR—”

“LISA! JUNGKOOK!” Jin yelled.

Just like that World War 3 ended.

Lisa pouted grabbing the covers and pulling it over her head

“Bloody Kookie” she muttered under her breath.

I laughed, lying down on my side and propping my head up with my left hand as I stared down at Lisa, I tried to pull the covers off her even though she had a strong grip on it, but once I had finally managed to pull the covers off, she smiled innocently up at me.

“Let's go eat,” I said, leaning over her.

She pouted “But I'm tired and cold…” then she smiled, “Don't you want to stay… in bed… with me.”

Stay strong. You can do this, stay strong, stay strong, say no. No!

“Li…”

“I'll make it worth your while” she smirked her dry luscious lips.

Aish, this girl, I stared at her as she innocently pouted up at me.

My kryptonite.

It's only breakfast right, no harm in skipping breakfast, and I can always eat later, besides my girlfriend needs me. I really missed her yesterday and I think I owe it to her, to make sure she's happy. I nodded leaning forward.

When suddenly MY BEDROOM DOOR burst open, AGAIN.

“You two breakfast now!” Jin growled, glaring at the two of us before walking out, leaving MY BEDROOM DOOR open.

I think I have to invest in a lock.

We both groaned, I rolled over on my back looking up at the ceiling, and I could hear her laughing beside me.

“Breakfast it is” Lisa whispered, before getting up and taking the heat with her. She was wearing my black basketball jersey that she was drowning in because it went past her knees, I watched her stop at the door before looking back at me.

“Hurry up, the faster we eat the faster we can resume other things and I can claim those lips I've been dying to claim since I woke up” she winked, she always keeps me on my feet.

I got up and followed after her only to have Namjoon stand in front of me holding out his phone.

“It’s Bang PD, I think you should take this call… in your room,” he said, I looked at him confused, but his face said it was serious.

I nodded, grabbing his phone, Lisa stood there looking at us.

“I'm sorry Hyung” Namjoon whispered, before walking towards Lisa.

“Morning Angel,” he said slinging his arm over her shoulders, Lisa smiled up at him.

“Morning Oppa,” she said, her hand clutching the back of his shirt.

I looked down at Namjoon’s phone before taking a deep breath,

“Neh Hyung”

“Suga, where is your phone? I've been trying to contact you,” he said I walked back into my room closing the door behind me, I looked at the floor to see my phone… cracked and officially dead.

“It's flat,” I said, leaning against the door, technically, I wasn’t lying, its flat on the floor.

“So, what’s this about?” I asked,

“If this is in regard to the whole, Suran-noona situation, I told you where I stand, and I am not—”

“I know…” he interrupted “… if I had it my way, this would not be happening… I am sorry, I truly am”

What's with the apologies, but by the tone of his and Namjoon's voice, I knew this wasn't good, why else would they apologize, if not to say that something bad was going to happen.

“They followed you last night”

“Who?” I asked, even though I knew who.

“Who else, the ones who really want this publicity stunt to happen.”

“Hyung,” I started to panic.

They saw me with Lisa…why else would he apologize.

!

 “I can't”

“I know, but they took photos of you and Lisa, they said they won't release the photos if you take this deal,” he sighed.

“I'm sorry, I can't see a way out of this, remember the first day you told me about you and Lisa, the first thing you said to me was that you would protect her at all cost and I was proud of you and I know how much she means to you and I know how much you care for her, which is why I can't find a way out of this if they release those photos she will get backlash for this and if we don't.”

I nodded, “I know” I whispered.

“I can't do this to her, it was hard trying to hide our relationship as it is and for this to come out when Blackpink just had their comeback, the only person who would get hurt from this is the one person I have to protect” I growled

“Suga…”

“What should I do? I can't lose her, not now, after every— it ing hurts. To not hear her voice, to see her and now this… I can’t.” I pleaded, leaning back against the door and sliding down to the ground. “Hyung”

Just once. Just ing once, I work hard. I make my family proud; I keep my fans happy. I put my health, my life on the line because I care about the people in my life but, for once can't I just, be happy? For once can't I be selfish? Do I not get a happy ending?

“We do live three lives, but which life do we want to choose, do we have to smile, do we need to smile, or do we want to smile,” he said,

“I'll fix it” was all I heard before the line went dead.

------------------------------

“Hey,” I said walking into Bang PD-nim studio.

“Well this is a first, Min Yoongi actually booked an appointment to see me, instead of barging into my office like he normally does.” PD Hyung chuckled, his back towards me while he looked through some of his files on the computer.

“I didn’t want anyone to disturb us,” I said, closing the door behind me.

I sat down on the chair that was next to him, watching him turn some of the handles before he finally faced me. “So, I’m assuming it’s about a girl,” he said, his voice stern and serious.

I nodded “It is about a girl,”

We sat there staring at each other until he finally smiled.

“So, tell me, why her? What’s so special about her? What made you think that it was best to come and see me? What makes you so sure that I won’t tell you to break up with her?”

I stared at him and smiled. “Her name is Lalisa Manoban, and by the look on your face, you already know who she is,” I said, looking at his smile,

“Lalisa Manoban, YG Entertainments first foreign trainee that you have been seeing for nearly nine months. Thai?” he asked.

I nodded.

“So, she’s Thai, how good is her Korean” he smiled.

“Good, learns new words every day and she still stutters on some words… it’s kind of cute” I said, remembering how she was trying to recite my rap and she kept stumbling on her words.

“How good are you to her? Do you treat her with respect?”

I nodded, “I do.”

He sat there for a while not saying anything,

I laughed, “She’s weird… Sometimes, She’s always positive and happy and full of energy, I always thought that I would go for someone who was more like me, but then she came along and made me want more than just someone to settle with. She’s different that’s for sure. She makes me laugh so much.”

I smiled just thinking about her.

“I think about her all the time, sometimes I think it’s not healthy, but when I see her smile and knowing that I put that smile on her face, it made me realize that I never want to see her cry.”

I looked down at my fingers, “I know she’s on a dating ban, I know that she’s from YG, I know that her group hasn’t debuted yet and I might ruin her chances of ever being an idol, I know all of these things but I would still do it all over again, just to have her in my life, I want to be selfish”

I looked up to see him smiling, “She must really be something special for the great motionless Min, to actually feel something”

“Do you love her?”

“What! No way, it’s way too early, I mean No! No” I said, way too quick.

Bang PD-nim stared at me before he burst out laughing, “One ‘No’, would have convinced me”

I waited for him to stop laughing, “You done” I muttered.

He shook his head wiping his imaginary tears “One more thing, Your career, your members, Lisa, her courier, your fans. Who is more important? What is more important?”

“My members,” I said without missing a beat and he smiled

“And where does Lisa fit into this list, what would you do, if you were asked to choose between her or your members, one slip could ruin their career, did you think about them and the consequence that you would make, what if your fans found out about Lisa and they started to threaten her, attack her, as you said, she’s just a trainee, she doesn’t understand the cruel reality of an idol.”

I nodded and looked at Hyung who was probably wondering why I was smiling.

“We live three different lives, The Idol who puts on a smile because they have too, The Idol who puts on a smile because they need too or the Idol who puts on a smile because they want too,” I said, remembering every word.

“Lisa said this to me when a part of me couldn’t handle this life, of being an idol, the stress, the anxiety… depression. Do you know how many times I thought of just running away and never looking back, I remember thinking how difficult this was, thinking how many times, do I need to be stepped on for someone to actually notice me. I didn’t think about my members, or my family, or my company or Lisa… or even myself.”

“Do you know how ed up that is, that I didn’t think about myself, how stupid I felt.”

We stayed in silence and I tried to gather my thoughts, I felt like I said way more than I should and a part of me just wanted to scream, but looking at PD Hyung’s face I didn’t see pity or disappointment all I saw was understanding and that’s all I needed to see.

I smiled “She’s gentle yet wild, she’s loud and shy at the same time, she can be adventurous and sometimes all she wants to do is stay home and do nothing, she’s naive and innocent, but she can be wiser than any other elder I have met. She makes me laugh. She makes me happy.”

“She may not be the most important person in my life right now, but I do know that with time she will be, and I will protect her no matter what, even if we break up and she… and she falls in love with another. I may not be in her life, but I will protect her. I’m not perfect and I will never be but what I do know is that Lalisa Manoban means more to me and a part of me is scared because I can’t lose her from my life, not now, I just got to know her, and I want to know more”

“Are you sure you’re not in love with her?”

I laughed, “Maybe, who knows, maybe in time”

He stared at me before he smiled, “Then you have my word, that I will protect her, no matter what.” He said so sincerely that it made me smile.

“So, when can I meet Lalisa Mano—”

“Never!”

“YAH! You little—”

------------------------------

I trust you Hyung.

I don't know how long I sat there staring at nothing in particular, with only one thought on my mind.

Lisa.

She's the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. She's not my first love, nor my second but she’s different from the others. She's young and she's free, she's black and white and all the shades in between. Her smile lights up my life, her laugh fill's up my heart, as cliché as it is, I want her to be my only love.

Not a day goes by that I don't regret meeting her, even asking her out, kind of, anyway. It took three weeks of texting and calling each other, and a perfect date, that I finally asked her out. by text, not my finest hours but it worked.

------------------------------

'I like you, Lisa, do you want to be my girlfriend'

Send. I re-read my text over and over again and it felt like I was reading a text written by a five-year-old.

Now I was starting to regret my decision…ahh screw it!

“!” I yelled, burying my face into my pillow, I wanted to scream. I ruined it, I ruined everything, she probably doesn't even want to see me anymore, maybe she thought we were just friends, and this was strictly platon—

‘Ding’

I jumped up so fast, that I surprised myself. I looked around for my phone, holy , where’s my phone?

“ where's my ing phone” I nearly screamed standing up, throwing my blanket around only to see that it was right next to my pillow, the same pillow I was lying on, not too long ago.

“Calm the down, why am I acting like a schoolgirl,” I told himself, grabbing my phone, I smiled when I saw Lisa’s’ name on my phone screen.

'Took your damn time, I was beginning to think if you were really a man, and whether I should step up'

Trust her to text something like this. Wait, is that a yes or a-

‘Ding’

'Yes'

------------------------------

I remember that day very clearly.

How could I ever forget that day? It is one of the greatest days of my life.

‘The Perfect Date’

She called right after, saying we should give each other nicknames. She was random like that. We talked and laughed the whole night not caring that we both had busy schedule's the next day.

The next morning came and I couldn't stop smiling my members all thought I was possessed considering my eyes were bloodshot red, I had dark eye circles and I was smiling like a madman. They had every right to say I was crazy because I felt like I was floating the whole time.

“Don't cry”

I froze when I heard her voice on the other side of the door.

“Do you remember what I said last night. ‘Tomorrow is another day, that will be worse than today, but it will be a day that we will both move forward from, together” she whispered, I smiled listening to every word she said.

“So, open this door now,” she said,

I stood up and I could hear scuffling noises on the other side of the door, I opened the door to see her standing there smiling, with the rest of my members behind her.

“I'm with you all the way,” she smiled.

I nodded, “Even if it means we have to break up,” I said

I watched Lisa stand there unfazed by what I said it was as if she was trying to understand me, while all my members looked shocked.

“Hyung” their loud protest was heard but they all stopped when they looked down at Lisa when she spoke.

“Yes”

I could barely hear her faint whisper, but I heard it and it hurt more than I thought it would but not as much as what she said next

“If it means you get to be happy, then yes because you being happy is all that matters to me” she smiled.

“Lisa!” Namjoon said

Lisa smiled stepping towards me reaching for my hands and staring into my eyes.

“Whatever you decided I would understand, but I also want you to know that I'm not giving up on you, on us, because I want you to be happy”

I looked down at our hands, her soft hands holding mine, I looked back at her, “How can I be happy if I can't protect the one thing that matters to me,” I said squeezing her hand.

She stared at me for a second or two before she frowned, then she punched me right in the arm.

“Yah!” I looked at her rubbing my arm, her punches can really hurt, but why the hell did she punch me.

“You can protect me, by not saying stupid things like, let's break up! You idiot! If you want to protect me, then stay by my side” she growled, she spun around with her back to me.

“Does anyone in this place, not watch dramas anymore… men!” she growled before storming off to the kitchen, everyone parted, just like the red sea.

We all stood there staring at each other.

“She has a point,” Hoseok muttered under his breath,

“I CAN EAT ALL THIS FOOD BY MYSELF YOU KNOW!”

I watched as they all rushed to the kitchen because we all know that she will eat all the food, cause that's who my girlfriend is and that is who I am going to protect, standing by her side.

I love her!