Cause I know I'm ugly

Dara smiled happily as she watched her students scattered all around the compound, celebrating anything they found with clapping or shouting. It was what Dara had gotten used to. She remembered that she wanted to be a teacher, surrounded by children and their innocence. But it was not as easy like she thought. Handling kids required a lot of patience and tolerance. If not because she grew up with – having high tolerance and patient, she had long quit her job.

“Teacher! Teacher Dara! I found an ugly worm! And it’s green!” said a boy with only two tooth front, pointing at something to the plant with one other hand waving to her to come. It made her sigh softly before she stepped to the small group of children who were now interested in what the boy excitedly talked about.

Ugly. Not a nice word, and almost horrifying.

“What is it?”

The children parted way for her so she could come into their circle and take a look at what it was. The boy excitedly pulled her hand and pointed back to a plant.

“Worm!”

“Euw! It’s ugly!”

Patiently, Dara asked them to calm down. After a while, the kids finally settle down, staring curiously at Dara as she held a stick to support the worm that they found.

“Okay, children. This is called a caterpillar.”

“Cat?”

“Ugly and yuck!”

“Put it away, teacher!”

Dara chuckled to hear various reactions from her students. She crouched down so that everyone could see the green ‘worm’ clearly.

“Why are you guys saying it’s ugly? The caterpillar is an awesome creature.” Dara frowned at the kids amusedly. The girls shrieked when she tried to hold the stick with the caterpillar closer to them.

“It is ugly, teacher! It looks like my mother’s toilet brush!” hollered one of them, which made the other kids nod frantically but it made her grin, amused. Dara quickly put back the caterpillar to where it was and threw the stick to the grass.

She realized how she did not like the children to look at something just by what their eyes could see. Dara had learned that everything in this world has more than meets the eyes. She wanted the children there to treat everything with kindness, with how they wanted to be treated. Nobody wants to be treated like they didn’t worth it. Even a small creature like a caterpillar.

“Now, now,” she looked around to see if there was one around them, and she spotted one on the sunflower not too far from where they were standing. “Children, take a look at that butterfly. It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

The question was answered with cheers from them as all of them turned their heads to where their teacher was pointing.

“Do you know that the butterfly uses to be a caterpillar before it becomes prettier like that?”

The children went quiet, confused with Dara’s question. Dara could feel the tickling in her stomach, but she tried to show them how serious she was right now.

“How can that ugly cat become a butterfly?”

Dara used to hear that word a lot, but she realized that she could never get used to it. For sure, she didn’t want the children in front of her to easily call something with a word like that.

“I am saying the truth, kids,” she pouted, which made the kids suddenly come closer to her. There was someone among them asking Dara to explain more about what she was talking about, which she did.

“There are four stages that a butterfly would have before it grows. From egg to larva, and then pupa, and lastly is adult.”

“Is adult the butterfly?”

Dara nodded. She really hoped they would understand it because else she would explain it like how she learned about butterflies back in elementary school.

“The caterpillar or known as larva, will stop growing at some time and turn to a pupa. This is when it slowly changes to a butterfly.”

“What is the conclusion then, teacher Dara?”

The question made Dara smile amusedly. It was one of her ways when teaching them – to make a conclusion together when they were talking about something. Dara was glad that it became the habit of the kids because, in this way, they would know that whatever she taught them was not something useless.

“The conclusion does not easily belittle something. You don’t know what it can really become one day.” Her lips stretched into a smile as she watched the children nod, eyes shining happily. “Want me to show you a video of how a caterpillar turns to butterfly?”

The kids cheered even more, curious and excited to know more about new things. Without waiting any further, Dara called them to get into the class so she could start showing them through the slide show.

…

Jiyong didn’t notice how much time flies when he stumbled out of the room. He was too engrossed in the new game that he got to test that he was not aware of how long has he spent in front of his computer.

He stepped into the kitchen when he heard sounds of clinking in the sink. Jiyong found Dara standing there, her back facing him. Her hair was tied into a high ponytail and an apron tied around her waist. He continued to watch as she moved around the kitchen like it’s her own territory – which it was. Jiyong could spend all day watching her like that but he needed his energizer. Slowly, he walked closer to her, not forgetting to pull a chair with him before sitting at the counter, head leaning onto the island.

Dara didn’t say anything when she noticed him sitting there, but she flashed him a tired smile before continuing her task on the egg rolls. She wanted something simple for their dinner. Adding tteokbokki and kimchi should be enough for the two. Jiyong also has never been so picky when it comes to food.

Jiyong kept his stares on Dara, watching every move of hers. She was still in her blouse and black pants. Unconsciously, he pulled his chair closer to her. He badly wanted to touch her, but she looked so busy in her task, and he also was hungry. Jiyong bit his smirk when Dara glanced at him.

“Are you that hungry? Haven’t you eaten all day?” she asked with concern. Dara didn’t turn to look at him because she knew how his stares could captivate her and they would end up not eating that night.

He shook his head. “The new game is too good, I couldn’t stop.”

The answer made Dara sigh. When Jiyong decided to continue his study for a career in games, she never thought that he would become a computer geek. He almost never brings himself out of his computer room unless to eat or sleep. But after they got married, she could see how Jiyong tried to change his habit. He even joined her cycling around the neighborhood every weekend. At first, he looked so annoyed when she forced him to join her, but then, it was him that wake her up on the weekend morning so they could go out cycling together.

Still, Dara was happy that he got to be what he wanted.

The familiar warm hug enveloped her body made her exhale blissfully. “I haven’t taken a shower yet,” she teased, but Jiyong only planted his nose further into the back of her nape, which sent a shiver through her spine. Her grip on her spatula stiffened.

“So?” he asked huskily. If not because he was holding her, she would have melted onto the floor.

“I don’t smell good. I’m sweaty.”

“Don’t care,” he whispered, placing small kisses onto her neck. Dara giggled, ticklish with Jiyong’s action and it made him smile too.

“How’s your day?” Jiyong placed his chin on Dara’s shoulder, hands tightened around her waist. He kept himself clung to her when she walked over to the sink and then to the dining table to serve what she has cooked for them.

“They found a caterpillar and said it was ugly.” She continued placing the food on the table, and then headed to the fridge to get the juice but didn’t do anything to make Jiyong let go of her. She had grown comfortable with it although there was a time when she thought it was annoying.

“So, how did you change their perception of it?”

He focused on her face as she started to tell him about the kids where she was teaching. Jiyong didn’t interrupt any of her words and he occasionally looked down at his food and then focused back on his wife. She looked happy, and that’s enough for him.

“You’re just like that thing anyway.” He commented.

“Like what?”

“Caterpillar. And then changed into a butterfly.” He was teasing, but his face remained expressionless like how he usually did. It was one thing that he could not change but he didn’t have to anyway. Dara knew him in and out.

Dara scoffed lightly. She chewed on her egg roll before continuing to talk with her chopsticks pointing at herself. “I thought I was a puppy back then?”

“Whatever, Tokki.”

“And took is a rabbit. What am I really? Puppy, rabbit, or caterpillar?”

He lifted his eyes and stared right into hers. “Mine.” He said seriously. Dara felt the butterflies in her stomach fly crazily. Years being with Jiyong but he never failed to make it like it was her first time to realize she has fallen in love with him. These feelings for him would never get old.

“You tease.” She mumbled, ducking down to hide how red her face was after he said that. The smug smile from her husband went unnoticed as she was busy hiding how flustered she was.

…

Jiyong frowned, annoyed with the thing between him and his wife. He has been trying to put away the bolster that was hugged by Dara, but she only tightened both her arms and legs around it and continued sleeping. He stared at her closed eyes. And then tracing his finger on her eyebrows. Jiyong knew that she was still in deep slumber because he could hear the soft snores coming from her. But he was too annoyed with the bolster, and the fact that it covered half of her face didn’t make it any better. Jiyong tried to pull the damn thing again.

Dara huffed, grudgingly opening her eyes but then closing them back. “What is it, Ji? It’s still too early to go out,” she slurred.

“Can you breathe like that?” he frowned even more. “Put that bolster lower. I don’t want to be a widower after only getting married for three months.”

Still, half asleep, Dara obediently pulled the bolster and hugged it to her chest. She snuggled back into the pillow to continue her sleep before she felt Jiyong shift beside her and then a pair of lips met hers. She immediately kissed him back, finally fully awake. Jiyong’s fingers softly cupped her face and deepened their kiss, half of his body on her.

She was breathless when he pulled away. Dara kept her eyes shut before slowly fluttering them open and meeting Jiyong’s mischief stares.

“Talking about breathing. Pft.” She playfully mocked, which made Jiyong lean down to kiss her again. She pushed him away, rolling so she was lying face down. “Stop it. I haven’t brushed my teeth yet!” Dara muffled against the pillow, but then Jiyong pulled her waist to face him back.

“So what? Doesn’t stop me from wanting to kiss you.” He chuckled, this time placing small kisses on her neck and Dara giggled.

“Stop! Stop! It’s ticklish!”

But that made Jiyong even more, this time even his fingers tickled her waist.

After they got married, Dara was shocked to find out how cuddly Jiyong actually was. Years having a relationship with him, Jiyong didn’t really do skinship with her. Only hugs and kisses. So, when he suddenly nuzzled his nose on their first day as husband and wife, she almost l