I'm always all alone

It was a good thing to hang out with the girls today after a week of school that Jiyong had been avoiding her. She was not happy with it at all. Of course not. Jiyong was one of the closest people she had, and to know he was avoiding and tried not to talk to her was disappointing. Dara felt dejected. She felt put out although he was just around her, he pretended like she was not existing. He was too close but too far at the same time. Maybe it was a mistake to mention his father when Jiyong never bring out the topic with her before.

“Earth to Dara!” Chaerin patted her shoulder, snapping Dara out of her reverie. She was confused as she did not hear what they were talking about. All the girls noticed how quiet she has been since the morning. They also were aware how Jiyong kept dodging her, but they didn’t dare to point it out in front of him, afraid that it would make it worse between both of them. That was why they planned to have a girls’ day – to sort out about Dara and Jiyong. “I’m asking you what flavor would you like,” Chaerin repeated her question, pointing at the ice cream. The girl behind the counter was waiting for her patiently, smiling while holding a cone and a scoop in her hands.

“Ah, um, I would like...” she scanned the flavors in one glance before she settled with mint chocolate chip. Bom paid for them. They walked a little until they found a bench facing a big field. There were families, couples and some people having their time to enjoy the fresh air and beautiful scenery, forgetting their works and problems for a while.

But there she was, with her mind on a certain person that wasn’t with her.

She did not notice how the girls glanced at each other and then focused their attention on her. Her ice cream had melted and flowed through her fingers, making Bom scrunch her face. Dara looked like she had just broken up with a boyfriend that she did not even have in the first place.

“Hey!” Minzy patted her shoulder with a little force. Dara’s mind was totally not with her because she accidentally dropped her ice cream to the ground. They watched it continue to melt, silence wrapping them. It was uncomfortable but Chaerin quickly pulled out a tissue and wiped Dara’s hand.

“What is it?” she finally broke the silence. “You can tell us.”

Dara did not hesitate as she took a very deep breath and exhaled. “I think I’ve crossed the line.” She bit her lip, guilt started to spread through her body. When Jiyong said not to talk about his father, that was the first time he talked brusquely to her again after so long. She did not think that was a good thing. She definitely did not want Jiyong to shut himself again by being cold to everyone.

“I was curious about his dad, so I asked him about it.” Chaerin gasped, making everyone turn to her, but she gestured for Dara to continue. “Bu-but…” she stuttered when Chaerin reacted like that. Means she has done something wrong.

“But he told you to shut up.” Bom completed her sentence, making everyone turn to her this time. Dara pursed her lips. Jiyong did not tell her to shut up but that was close, so she nodded. Chaerin, Bom, and Minzy sighed. Dara was on the verge of crying. The reaction by her friends made her more upset with herself.

Chaerin bit the cone of her ice cream as she leaned to the bench and talked. “To be honest, I don’t want to talk about it because I’m not the one who should tell you this, but since we already talk about it anyway. Jiyong loathes his father because he thinks Mr. Kwon was the reason Aunty Saera, his mother, died. After the incident happened, aunty fell into depression and Mr. Kwon made himself busy. Aunty chose suicide and Jiyong put the blame on his father because he didn’t care about his mother. I heard it from Taeyang, so I’m not sure all about it.”

Dara’s tears were already flowing on her cheeks. Chaerin’s explanation was short, but it was enough to make her cry and now guilt was starting to tear her apart. It seemed like Jiyong’s father was a topic that she should avoid talking with him the most. It was definitely sensitive for him. No wonder he never talked about it.

“Oh, my goodness. How insensitive I was?” she mumbled to herself, but the three girls heard it clearly. They could sense the mental breakdown coming to get to her and that was the last thing their friend would need to face. Without a word, Chaerin got up from her seat, leaving them for a while, and leave Dara to Bom and Minzy. Dara did not even notice that she wasn’t there anymore. Minzy decided to talk first.

“Dara, don’t blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Of course it is!” she shrieked, shocking the other girls because that was the first time that she raised her voice in frustration. “It’s my fault,” she slowed her voice this time. “He only distances himself from me. Can’t you see it? It’s definitely my fault!”

“Park Sandara.” Minzy raised her voice this time. “Instead of blaming yourself, don’t you think it’s Jiyong’s fault too? You were curious, and you ask about it. He should not make it like you just tried to kill him when all you did was ask. Talk with him. I’m sure he’s okay with it, he just needs some time to cool himself. Maybe he was confused with himself since nobody ever asks about his father.”

Chaerin came back, this time with new ice cream with the same flavor just like Dara picked earlier. “Calm down yourself, girl. It’s not the end of the world.” Dara took the ice cream, hesitantly eating it. “Jiyong fond of you the most. There’s no way he’ll walk away again.”

…

“What’s wrong?”

Jiyong looked up to the source of the sharp voice that once he hated. After what happened in the cemetery and he sincerely apologized for accidentally hearing him and Dara, Jiyong told himself to not dislike this president anymore. But there was still a bit of annoyance when TOP was near.

“What?”

TOP took a seat next to him. There was a big gap between them because it was crystal clear that they were still awkward and uncomfortable with each other’s presence. Jiyong and TOP had an unspoken agreement that they would try to not kill each other again, which made Bom happy because she could relax and did not have to nag to TOP again about being too much on Jiyong. It felt good not to have someone as TOP as nemesis anymore. Sometimes his fingers twitch; he wanted to punch TOP without reason.

“What is wrong with you and Dara?”

The question made Jiyong turn his head to the president. In all of his friends, he did not expect that TOP or his real name; Choi Seunghyun to be the first person to ask about the tension between him and Dara. He knew that everyone was baffled by him giving cold shoulders to Dara, but nobody was brave enough to ask. He was expecting if Taeyang would ask first since he was the most sensible one but looked like TOP beat into it.

“You mean?”

TOP scoffed, rolling his eyes. “You know what I mean, Kwon. You’re giving her cold shoulders and she is upset. The girls told us that Dara said something that might hurt your feelings. You’re turning soft.”

Jiyong felt his left eye twitched at the sarca