There is no such thing as warmth, 
There is no one by my side.

Jiyong hated what his heart was feeling now.

That same girl that he tried to save by telling lies to his friends that he wanted to play with, ended up being the one he cared the most. He did not ask for this kind of feeling, but this was the first time that he felt that way. It was not something he expected, also he was not ready to admit it.

“Ji, you want some? I mean, you’ve been staring at it for a while now.”

The curious eyes looked up to him, offering her cookies. He was taken aback by her question. He did not realize that he was staring but he quickly act as nothing happen. Instead, Jiyong took the cookies and averted his eyes to watch Daesung practicing in the field with his teammates. Both of them were sitting on the bleachers while waiting for their friends to come along to join them.

“Did you make it?”

Dara nodded happily, eyes glistening with joy. She offered Jiyong more of her homemade cookies which Jiyong took without more words. The last time he ate something like that was when his mother was still around and healthy. While Dami’s homemade cookies, he just did not like it. There was always a lack of something in his sister’s cookies although she was the manager of a restaurant. Well, it was not like she was the cook anyway.

But Dara’s cookies tasted perfect. The thought of it made him sigh. He had no idea what he would do.

“What’s wrong? You don’t like it?” Dara’s voice softly asked him again. Worry reflected in her eyes.

“Nothing. It’s good.”

The corner of his lips lifted when he heard Dara giggle. Jiyong quickly munched the remaining cookie to stop his lips from stretching again. It was frustrating how Dara was the one that made him be restless like that. Screw looks. When you started to open up and care about someone, their looks and appearance no longer become necessary because you know how they really were. But still, there was a certain time when Jiyong thought that Dara was cute and pretty, especially when she was smiling and laughing happily. Her happiness started to shine obviously after she met him and her other friends.

After Jiyong said that Dara could have her own way to get to know him, she did not take a lot to do. Just by being herself, he unconsciously let his guard down. It was easy to smile when she was around. It was hard not to frown when he saw she was being bullied. It was difficult to be emotionless when she come to voice her worries. It felt good when he knew that he was needed, something that he had never felt before.

“Would you like to follow me this Saturday?” Dara suddenly asked after she passed her last piece of cookies to Jiyong. Jiyong perked up at her question. Lately, he always felt glad when she or the others invite him to go anywhere. He was grateful for the invitation because he did not want to spend his time alone in his room, sleeping more than he should when there were a lot of things he could do with his friends.

“Where?”

Dara smiled when she heard him. She already knew that he was willing to go although he was frowning right now. “To visit my father.” There was a hint of sadness in her voice which Jiyong noticed immediately. “It’s his death anniversary.”

Jiyong started to count the date of the day in his head. When he realized it, he swallowed the lump in his throat. Still, he nodded at her, agree to go with her.

…

Jiyong only focused his stare on the outside of the window, hand lifting his chin. He did not really know what to feel and he did not really know why he agreed in the first place. He should come with his big sister today, but unfortunately, Dami had other things to settle first and told him to go without her. He then averted his eyes to focus on Dara, who was sitting with her mother just a few seats in front of him. The two had not interacted ever since the morning. He remembered how Dara said that she was not really close to her mother. Dara also said that her mother was disappointed that her daughter was ugly, but Jiyong saw something else. He noticed how Minchan kept throwing Dara affectionate glances whenever Dara was looking at something else.

She should notice how people around her really appreciate her wellbeing, and that includes him.

“Why are you bringing two?” Dara asked as they walked together to the cemetery. In Jiyong’s hands, there were two bouquets of lilies. They were walking side by side while Minchan was in front of them, taking the lead.

“One for your father, and the other is.. my mom.”

From his peripheral version, he saw Dara’s eyes widen in surprise, but he did not want to talk further about it, so he only look straight, giving her the signal to not ask more than she should. Dara understood him immediately because she shut and hesitantly looked back to her mom.

As they found Dara’s father’s grave, Minchan gently pulled Dara’s hand to stand beside her. They kneeled next to each other in front of their father. Jiyong stood behind them, holding both of the bouquets close to his chest as he watched the two praying for their man. It felt like he was disturbing their moment, so he kept his distance and silently pray for them too.

To his surprise, Dara and Minchan looked back at him. Dara was staring at him as if wondering what the hell was he doing, while Minchan smiled politely at him. Minchan waved her hand to him, calling him and when Jiyong stood nearly to them, he was asked to kneel beside her. Jiyong did as he was told, but still was feeling awkward to stand close to the family.

“You have something to give him, right?” Minchan questioned politely with her eyes were still on the grave. Love was obvious in her eyes, making Jiyong’s stomach churn. He nodded, putting one of the bouquets on the grave, and then stole a glance at Dara. She was staring at the flower that he had put.

“Tell him about yourself. I believe he wants to know about the boy that has been taking good care of our daughter.”

He bit his lower lip, debating with his inner self. It was awkward, but he should do that at least. It would be rude if he refuse.

“Hello, Mr.” he started. “I’m Kwon Jiyong, your daughter’s f-friend. I don’t really know what to say but please know that she is doing her best. She has been loved by people around her. Sandara is growing prettier these days.” He stopped awhile, could not believe that he actually said that. When nobody says anything, he continued. “P-please keep taking care of her and her mother. It’s an honor to finally meet you.”