There's no such thing as warmth

Next to my side,

There's not even anyone to embrace me

The only thing that could be heard was the sound of insects bumping to the street lamp to chase over the light. Dara could not even hear her breathing – she was not breathing, too surprised to hear Jiyong. She wanted to make sure if he really had said that, but she knew she heard him loud and clear. Her lips trembled as she opened to say something but ended up saying nothing. Instead, she cried out louder than before.

“Are you saying that to make fun of me or what?! We all know that I’m stupid but I’m not going to let myself be fooled anymore!” she shrieked because of the embarrassment and confusion that she was having. But deep inside her heart, she wished Jiyong meant it. “Why would someone like you love me? I am ugly and disgusting!”

She was rambling. Dara actually did not really know what she was saying until she stopped because Jiyong suddenly cupped her face again. She could feel his fingers her jaw softly, an unreadable expression on his face. His feature was soft, and yet he was frowning as if he didn’t know what to do, or what he was currently doing. The continuous on her face made her shudder, and suddenly she was aware of how cold it was to sit on the street.

“Ji-Jiyong… Let’s g- “

He suddenly put his thumb on her lips, cutting her words. It was worse than now her heart was beating as she had just finished running a marathon. Jiyong was so, so close to her; she could even hear his breathing.

“Should I prove it, hm?” he softly asked, as soft as how his fingers were her jaw right now. Jiyong looked into Dara’s eyes as if asking permission for something that Dara did not know what it was before he leaned and claimed her cold lips. Dara felt herself slowly melting at his touch.

His lips were soft and warm on hers. It was the softest and purest thing to touch her. Jiyong kept his lips on hers for how long Dara didn’t know, gently moved them before he pulled away. But their faces were still close to each other.

“That was my first kiss,” Dara whispered, she was quivering despite the warm hands on her face. She had no idea of what to say and do right now. Jiyong kissing her had never appeared in her wildest dream because she always told herself not to expect more than friendship although she was aware of the blooming feeling in her chest that she had been hiding from everyone. She wasn’t sure if she could be happy now, or not. She was so confused about this turn of the event.

“Hm, me too.” Jiyong’s voice was just above a whisper as he trailed his eyes to stare at every contour of her face. When his eyes stopped on her birthmark, he leaned again to press a kiss on it, and Dara shut her eyes at the soft gesture. It made Dara feel whole. The only person who ever kissed that part of the skin was her father.

The silence surrounded them like a blanket. It was not uncomfortable since both of them were in their own world, thinking of how to respond. Dara was still shivering in the cold when Jiyong suddenly pulled her into his arms, putting his chin on her head.

“I’m not good with words, but I can prove it with my actions. I don’t go around kissing random people, and you are my first kiss, Tokki.”

Dara could feel the butterflies in her stomach cheerfully tickling her inside when Jiyong called her by her pet name. That name means a lot to her although Jiyong gave it to her to make fun of her. ‘Tokki’ had been a part of herself.

“But you said that I’m ugly.” She hiccuped, trying to hide her giddiness.

“I don’t mean that. I’m so sorry, Sandara, my Tokki. I just was being emotional. I don’t want to lose someone again. I’m sorry.” He repeated the sorry word like a mantra, still keeping their faces close to each other. The way he kept muttering sorry made Dara’s heart clench. She had never seen him like that, asking someone for forgiveness and on the edge of crying. He kept choking, trying to suppress his emotion.

“One condition!” Dara suddenly shrieked, making Jiyong back away from her. He was frowning but only nodded at her request.

“I want to slap you because you said I was ugly.”

“If you slap me, would you forgive me then?”

She nodded eagerly, her lips in a straight line, showing she was determined with what she just said. Jiyong nodded again. Furiously, Dara stretched out her arms and slapped both of his cheeks at the same time, and then she squished Jiyong’s face in between her hands, earning a groan from him. Jiyong’s lips were pursued, making him look like a fish. She suddenly giggled before crying again while still holding Jiyong in her palms.

“There’s no way I could hurt you. You mean too much to me, Ji.”

“W-what do you mean?” Jiyong stuttered. He wiped the tears on Dara’s cheeks, but there was too much, even his palms were wet.

“I love you too, you stupid!”

“Did you just call me stupid?”

“Yes, I did! What? You’re going to tell me to run around this neighborhood this time, huh?” she challenged.

Jiyong was so amused to the point that his body was shaking. He was suppressing the laugh. Dara was being furious with him. He wondered how long she had been waiting to say that to him since she was always scared if she did something wrong or accidentally say things that would make him mad. She was behaving like a drunk lady, talking and expressing everything she would never do if she was sober.

But it’s more amusing given the fact that she was not even drunk, to begin with.

“So, does that mean we love each other?” Jiyong almost cringe at what he just said. He bit back the feelings, waiting for Dara to talk back. She had been crying so much that he wondered how humans could produce that much water out of their eyes.

Again, she suddenly stopped crying, this time madly blushing. He immediately knew that she had no intention to confess too, and she just did because of the mental breakdown she was having. Dara always say something weird and stupid about herself when she was afraid or baffle.

“Can I kiss you again?” he asked but did not wait for her to answer as he leaned to her and claimed her lips for the second time, hands grasping hers. Jiyong kept it gentle, did not want to scare her off. When Dara kissed him back, Jiyong thought he had lost his mind.

They pulled away from each other, catching their breath. Jiyong pulled the shivering Dara into a hug, almost choking her with how tight the embrace was.

“Did you say that just because you were sorry?” she whispered, tired from crying too much and the fast beating of her heart was making her breathless.

“No.” he shook his head, threading his fingers through Dara’s black hair. “I’m sorry. I love you. Both of these are different.”

…

They stood in front of each other, not talking as realization hit them. Both of them were blushing so hard but Jiyong tried to play it cool. Jiyong being shy was not Jiyo