(A/N: Play this before you read this chapter for maximum effect | Thank you for reading lovelies!  Also, to whoever waited, I was away for vacation and got back a couple weeks ago and that was why I haven't updated. Sorry x7654321 but it's the comeback !(?) Love you all, as always!  ►►►

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYdZhE8eyFA  (Play this for maximum effect and feelings all over the place, lovelies) 

             “Today? Why?” I answered with no emotion.

            “Ellie. We didn’t even spend Valentine’s Day together. We both are so busy now. Onew is in the army, Kris left for Vancouver a month ago, Taemin and Jonghyunnie are doing promotions. Minho’s in Europe, for God’s sake! I haven’t seen you much, I haven’t talked to you much, we need a day together. I know you’re not going to practice today because you have your exams next week. So, give me a day, pleeeeeease,” Kibum begged over the phone call. I haven’t told him what the doctor told me while they were in Japan for Onew Oppa’s last concert before leaving. That was two months ago. We were well into the summer and I haven’t mentioned anything to him. Well, I avoided him, so that’s why I was able to do that.

            “Mmm, okay sure,” I tried to sound excited but it just wouldn’t come out. I can’t avoid him forever.

            “Okay! I’ll pick be there in 30 minutes!” he sounded like he jumped up as he said that.

            “What? 30 minu-,” I started but it was too late. He had hung up.

            “Don’t be stupid! You need to stop training. What do you mean you’re gonna continue? You’re crazy!” He started yelling when we got back to his apartment. I had told him what I’ve been keeping to myself while we were walking along Han River, that I was sick, but he didn’t say anything until we got back here. He wouldn’t drive me home and he wanted to talk. Apparently, only he was allowed to talk right now. I stood there, taking everything in. “I won’t let you do that, no. No,” he said, pacing back and forth. Comme Des and Garcons entered the living room and stood by my feet. They were on edge too, they knew something was wrong.

            “You won’t let me?” I repeated.

            “That’s right. You’re not training anymore, no,” he said, still pacing.

            “You can’t just stop me,” I replied defensively.

            “I can just tell the CEO what you just told me and- and he would have no choice,” he scratched the back of his head vigorously.

            “It’s not that bad,” I said calmly.

            “Not that bad??? You could lose the ability to breathe! That’s not bad? You could lose your ability to speak! That’s not bad?? Ellie! Are you in the right mind???” he stood in front of me, avoiding touching me. It was a good idea because he looked like he was ready to kick walls and punch a punching bag like those protagonists in dramas who just found out bad news. “You know what, there’s no point in arguing, because you’re stopping and that’s that,” he said finally. “You’re supposed to be avoiding a lot of movements and you’re supposed to avoid feeling tired and you’re tired every sing damn day! You don’t have to tell me because I know. You’re tired but you don’t want to say it. You’re scared of the job you’re working so hard for. You’re going to school and silently crying about it every night. You think ‘why am I here now when I could be this back abroad’ and you won’t even say it!” he looked straight at me when he finished. He was so angry that his face had become red and his eyes were glassy.

            “You think you just know everything?! Stop assuming everything, you don’t know!” I yelled back in frustration. He took a step towards me and grabbed my shoulders.

            “Then tell me! Let me in! Stop shutting me out! One of the reasons I fell in love with you was because you’re so selfless and always took care of me and others, but this is just stupid! I love you so much and you’re still not thinking about yourself! Even in times like this! Stop thinking that you’ll hurt me by telling me what’s wrong. Stop thinking that you’ll be bothering my day by telling me how your day went! In fact, I’ll put everything aside just to hear about your day, do you know that? I love you, Ellie. I know you love me too, so stop this,” after finishing whatever he needed to say, he hugged me and cried. He didn’t cry quietly either. He bawled, which made me bawl and we stood there, like idiots, heaving, trying to catch our breaths and wiping our tears with each others’ shirts.

            “Kibum-ah…” I said as soon as I could catch my breath. We didn’t let go of our hug, partly because we probably didn’t want to look at each other as we cried.

            “Wae?” he said, still crying.

            “I’m tired… and I’m scared…” I cried more as I said this and he rubbed my back, letting me cry it out.            

            “I know baby, I know. Just stop doing this then… It’s not worth everything you’re going through,” he carefully said.

            “No… this is a dream I want to see through… I’m just… I’m lonely and I just… I don’t know what I want… but I just…” I tried to say but the more I tried to word my sentence, the more I got choked up.

            “I’ll be here. No matter how busy I am, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. The members treat you like their younger sister, you have us here. Do you want visit your family? We can go, I’ll take you, we can take some time off an-“ he grabbed my face and looked at me.

            “No no, we can’t do that, it’s okay. They’ll come visit me soon… I just… I’m grateful and I love you... and I’m sorry…” I continued.

            “For what?” he said, hugging me again. I snuggled against his chest and breathed in.

            “For… this. I’ve caused your image harm, I’m causing the company harm, I’m sick and you have to worry about that on top of everything else you-“

            “Ellie. No. Stop. If you’re not gonna quit practicing while you’re sick, I’m gonna go crazy. But if that’s what you really want and if you really have to do this then, don’t be sorry for anything. Because I love you and nothing else matters, okay?” he pulled away to kiss my forehead.

            “Mmm,” I mumbled. “Can we just stay in this position forever?” I asked, hugging him tightly.

            “Yes, but it would make me feel so much better if we laid down so that you’re not using your energy standing up,” he said, pulling me towards to bedroom already and he also let the dogs in. I took off my jacket and laid on the bed beside him. I fell asleep to his humming and to Comme Des and Garcons’ breathing.

            “Myasthenia Gravis…Myasthenia Gravis…” I heard Kibum mumbling to himself over and over beside me. I opened my eyes and saw him sitting up while on his laptop.

            “You know, saying it over and over again won’t make it go away,” I sighed and watched him type away.

            “Oh you’re awake. No, I’m looking up possible treatments and everything else… Ellie… it’s really serious… You need to rest, there are so many bad things that could happen,” he took a long look at me and played with my hair as I stayed laying down.

            “I know… I looked it up too when I found out… Surgery or some injections or lose some muscle functions,”

            “Ellie, not some, you could lose all! That’s…”

            “I know…” I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Just ssshh, okay. Now get away from your computer and hug me,” I tugged at his arm and he pushed away his laptop instantly. He slid down and laid beside me, hugging me, kissing the top of my head a few times.