“Pabo yah, go home, what do you mean ‘stay’, is this your new home?” I said quickly because I was a flustered at his remark.

            “you’re calling me pabo for wanting to spend time here?” he put his hands to his waist. The rest of the members have all walked down so it was just Kibum and I, well and the dogs who could hear the conversation.

            “Eh? No, I’m calling you pabo for staying here when you have to rest,” I explained, waving my hands in the air. “And why would you want to stay anyways? I have to clean up the mess here, I have to shower, I have to-“ I started but was cut off with a kiss landing on my lips. He dropped the leash and put his hands on both sides of my face. I stood still, in shock… But this didn’t stop him. He turned me around and put my back against the front door and it closed shut. I finally let go of myself and ran my hands up his back, he lifted my legs and pushed me harder against the door. I could feel his tensed muscles and his arms that were flexed from lifting me. I kept my arms wrapped around his neck and he started to walk away from the door. The dogs kept barking, probably shocked at what they were witnessing.

Heck! If I was a dog and saw this, I’d probably bark and squeal and pee myself! Okay…too much imagery. I’m ruining the moment for myself. Shoot. Is this really happening? I’m kissing Kibum, Key of SHINee… This is really happening. Does he like me? Wait do I like him? We were just friends? Is he taking advantage of our friendship? Is this what ‘friends with benefits’ is like?

            I didn’t stop what was happening despite my thoughts and before I knew it, I was laying on my bed and he was on top, careful not to put all his weight on me. When I grabbed his hair as he kissed my neck, I got a little more aggressive and turned us around, with me on top. Probably realizing where this was going, he stopped and so did I.

            “Wait,” he said and sat up, but held on to me so that I wouldn’t fall backwards. He was breathing heavily and so was I. We only remembered to breathe now. I had no idea how to act after what just happened and so I clicked on the lamp beside my bed. Then we just sat there, facing each other, taking deep breaths, and I played with my hand awkwardly.

            “So…” I started to say and glanced at him.

            “Yeah,” he said and chuckled lightly, fixing his hair in the process. It was pretty messed up and I could only imagine what my hair looked like. Then his phone rang from his pocket. He looked at the caller ID and I caught a glimpse. It said ‘Leader Onew’.

            “Shoot! I forgot about them!” I got off the bed but Key declined the call and started texting away, still on my bed. I started to walk out of the bedroom, but he grabbed my hand.

            “Where are you going?” he said, with the raspy-ness I adored. I turned to him to tell him I was going to grab the dogs since we left them in the living room, with the bedroom door shut. But before I could do that, he pulled me towards the bed with much force that I fell down on it and he laid beside me. We didn’t do anything but just laid there.

            “So um…” I cleared my throat.

            “Ellie-ah,” he said with confidence in his voice and laid on his side with his head on his left arm. I couldn’t look at him after what happened because I’d end up thinking about it and have my face turn red, so I stayed put. “Look at me for a sec,” he added. Never mind. So I faced him but avoided his eyes. We were only a couple inches away from each other and this made me want to grab him again to kiss him, but I held myself down, in my head, obviously.

            “What?” I asked and avoided his gaze which I could feel, just burning a hole on my face.

            “Look,” he said sternly, so I did. “I don’t want you to think I did that for no reason, I only wanted to give you a peck then tell you… well, what you are to me…” he said slowly, waiting for a response from me, but I couldn’t speak because I was a millimeter away from squealing. If I opened my mouth at all, I would’ve squealed, no I probably would have jumped for joy. I simply nodded, so he kept going. “So… I’m gonna let you know now, uh, what you are to me, to answer the question you asked when you were drunk over phone,” he started to say. 

            “Wait wait wait, what?” I panicked and looked him in the eyes. “Now?” I added. His brows furrowed.

            “Yeah, now,” he said in an ‘as a matter of fact’ tone of voice. I turned my back to him and curled up facing the other direction. I put a pillow against my face and screamed into it. I couldn’t hold myself in any longer. Kibum chuckled and he pulled me to look towards him again, I followed.

            “Wait, uh wait, I’m not ready to hear this,” I said and put my hands on his face.

            “What?” he said, trying to free his face from my hands. “Don’t you want to know?” he said through my hands. I knew what he was going to say, well, I mean, if he meant that kiss then I knew exactly what he was going to say, but is this what I want too?

            “I do… but Kibum-ah,” I started and sat up. He sat up too and faced me. “Are we being realistic here? Like…can this really happen?” I asked, realizing what this would mean if he were to tell me how he felt and I reciprocated. He grabbed my hands rubbed his thumbs on my palms.

            “Why not though?” he asked. I had a million answers for him, but none would come out. Is this what I want too? Suddenly, an overwhelming feeling of both excitement and nervousness flooded me. My heart felt heavy but relieved at the same time.

            “Are you willing to risk this friendship? For uh… something more than that?” I said quietly, afraid to know the answer.

            “Uah! Daebak, look at you assuming what I’m about to tell you,” he scoffed so I pushed his shoulder and he fell back. I moved quickly to move on top of him and put my face as close to his as possible while he stayed down. He turned red so fast, I thought he was a tomato, or something else that was red.

            “Look at you trying to be cool,” I said and landed a soft, but quick kiss on his left cheek, then moved back to sit down.

            “Wah…” he said and slowly sat back up, touching his left cheek. “You sly woman,” he muttered. After he recovered, he looked at me seriously. “Ellie, can I just tell you already, it’s killing me,” he said in English. I squeezed my eyes shut and tapped my face with both my hands multiple times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

            “Yeah, go,” I opened them as quickly as I could and he kissed my lips with the softest landing ever. He moved back and said.

            “I like you,” he breathed it out, nervous and relieved of the burden. I stood up with my face frozen, with no reactions whatsoever and started to walk out of the room. Without even looking back at him, I could feel he had his mouth wide open and his eyes all confused and squinty. “Yah! Where are you going??” he said and I heard his footsteps directly behind me, so I turned around quickly and wrapped my hands around the nape of his neck. I tiptoed and whispered in his ear.

            “I like you too,” I moved away from him and looked at his face. Was this how I looked like earlier? We stayed still in the hallway from my bedroom to the living room. The dogs ran toward us so I paid attention to them instead.

            “Aigoo, you guys, guess what?!” I grabbed Comme Des and Garcons and carried them on each arm. I stood in front of Kibum, with the dogs and they tilted their heads the same way, while looking at Key and I joined them. This made him come back to his senses and he hugged me so tight that the dogs started barking.

            “oh sorry sorry,” he petted them both and grabbed them to put them down. Then he grabbed my legs and raised me up.

            “Omo omo omo! Yah!” I yelled and pulled on his hair.

            “Ow ow ow!!!” he yelled back and put me down. “Wait is this for real?” he asked, looking at me with a smile that could break his face. I nodded and smiled the same smile.

            “Oh my god, I can’t believe it,” he said in English and looked around.

            “Me neither!” I said covered my face with my hands. He grabbed my hand, like he was used to doing it and dragged me to the living room. When did the living room light turn off here? It was kind of romantic with just the Christmas lights on, so I guess it was the perfect setting.

He let go when we reached my coffee table, then he grabbed one of the candles we blew on earlier that was on the cake and lighted it with the lighter. I watched him do this, confused as to what he was trying to achieve. Then he turned and faced me, putting the candle in front of our faces.

            “Ellie-ah…” his voice shook. Is he nervous? This man never gets nervous! He’s the most confident guy I know!

            “Mmm?” I said back.

            “Will you be my one and only?” he asked, staring deep into my eyes.

            “Wah, you’re so cheesy! What’s with that line,” I couldn’t hold it in and started to laugh.

            “Aish! Yah, can you answer it, I’m actually serious,” he shook head, frustrated.

            “Yes, I’ll be your one and only,” I smiled and I guess we both knew what to do next because we blew the candle at the same time, like we rehearsed it.