It has been three days since I arrived and all I could think about was Kibum. Even though I told myself over and over again that I wasn’t going to think about him when I got here, seeing him at the airport changed everything. I was barely getting enough sleep because I was still jetlagged, so my nights were filled with thoughts of him.

            “Miss?” the employee at the cafe I was lined up in said.

            “Oh sorry, one regular Americano please,” I said, snapping back to reality. I had free time until the first week of January, so I planned to explore every single day before then. I’ve already gone to MyeongDong, Hongdae, Itaewon, Gangnam, and all these main areas in the past two days, but I felt like I could have done more things if I was with somebody who knew the city…

            “How’s it going over there? It’s Christmas Eve tomorrow!” Kris yelled through my laptop.

            “Why do you always start these video calls with ‘how’s it going over there’,” I said, frustrated.

            “Jeez, attitude!” she yelled.

            “Sorry, I just didn’t expect to be so lonely here,” I said and rubbed my temples. She looked apologetic.

            “Are you okay?” she said with a look of worry. I smiled at her, grateful that even though I was the moodiest person in her life, she still made sure I was okay.

            “Yeah… I’m just not feeling very well. I have a killer headache and the winter cold here is unbelievable. I think I’m about to catch a cold,” I mumbled and put my feet up on my computer chair.

            “What? You’re getting sick? Alone? There?” she said and jumped to her seat.

            “Aww, you’re so sweet, getting all worried about me,” I said and tried to smile despite the dizziness that overwhelmed me.

            “You actually don’t look good though,” she said and started to use her phone. “Like, I didn’t say anything earlier ‘cause I thought it was just the camera quality but you’re all pale and everything,” she mumbled, still going at it on her phone.

            “I’ll be fine,” I brushed it off. “Is that your secret maaaaaaaan again?” I said, trying to change the subject.

            “Mm-hmm, yes it is, but nice try trying to change the subject,” she said, still not looking up.

            “Jeez, it’s like you’re in my head,” I muttered.

            “That’s right, I am and I know how you get when you’re sick, you don’t even move and get up, you just lay down and hope for it to pass,” she said sternly and stared me down.

            “Well...yeah, but I don’t have the energy that’s why,” I explained even though I knew that lying down and doing nothing has never worked for me when I was sick.

            “Uh-huh, you need fluids and soup and fresh air and medicine and a wet towel,” she listed a bunch of things.

            “I know but I can’t move sooooo, I’m gonna continue my routine,” I said with sass to try and show her that I wasn’t feeling that bad...even though I was.

            “Mmmkay,” she said quietly, giving up on my stubbornness. “Look, I gotta go, they’re calling me down for dinner, promise me you’ll buy some medicine,” she said and pointed at the camera.

            “Yeah, yeah,” I said, waving my hand around. “Talk to you tomorrow,” I said cheerfully.

            “Byeeee!” she said, looking at her phone and closed her laptop.

She was right, I wasn’t planning on moving and getting up to buy some medicine. It was Christmas Eve day tomorrow and I planned to at least put some decorations up today, so that my holidays wouldn’t feel as lonely.

            “Aigoo,” I sat on the couch, exhausted and felt nauseous after decorating the apartment with some Christmas lights, bells, red ribbons, a garland by the window, and a mini Christmas tree. I turned off the lights and kept the Christmas lights on to see the final result. “I think I did a pretty good job,” I smiled and decided to close my eyes and lay down, because if I didn’t I would have thrown up.

Dirori…

            “Who is this now?” I said, frustrated that I didn’t keep my phone silent before I slept. I grabbed my phone that was on the coffee table, without getting up. I realized I probably looked like Nightcrawler from X-Men trying to do this, so I chuckled at myself. “Wow, I need friends,” I said exasperatedly. I was still feeling dizzy so doing this made me want to throw up even more. I checked my phone to see who texted.

‘KIBUM AHJUSSI’ I sat up with lightning speed. I didn’t know what to think. What did this guy want?

            “Do I open this message? Do I not? What do I do?” I moved around not knowing what to do. Without being able to stop myself, I opened the message.

5:35 P.M

‘Open’ was all that was written.

            “What do you meeeeeeeeeaaaaan?” I said, frustrated and confused. “Open? What?” I mumbled, staring at his one-word text. Then I heard three knocks at the door. No way...when he said open, does he mean the door? I walked over to the door slowly and prepared myself to open it. I did it as quickly as I could so that there wasn’t any painful suspense. I kept my eyes shut because I didn’t know how I would react if I saw him.

            “Annyeonghaseyo Ellie-ssi,” Wait…that’s not his voice…

            “Onew-ssi?” I opened my eyes slowly and SHINee’s leader was right in front of my face. “Omo, come in,” I said quickly and gestured for him to walk inside. He nodded and stepped inside.

            “Hi, sorry to bother you, but Kris wouldn’t stop worrying and had asked me to bring you some soup and nutritious food,” he explained with a takeout bag in both of his hands.

            “What??!” I yelled out automatically. “Kris?! You?! You’re the secret man?!” I shouted at him and he was taken aback, but bowed again.

            “Yes,” he said politely. I immediately grabbed the food from his hands and told him to stand up because he didn’t need to bow to me.

            “Thank you so much, that Kris shouldn’t have bothered you just to bring me food,” I mumbled and put the food on the kitchen counter.

            “Well, it wasn’t really...just..uh..Kris,” he added and asked if he could sit on the bar stool.

            “Eh?” I reacted and stood across from him on the other side of the island counter.

            “Uh, I told the members why I had to leave while we were busy with promotions and everything and uh...Key-goon sort of told me to bring you some medicine and peppermint tea, since apparently you like that when you’re not feeling well,” he explained with constant pauses because he was probably aware of how Key and I haven’t been talking. I didn’t know whether to be touched or confused or feel hurt or be angry. I guess my facial expression didn’t know what to do either because Onew asked me if I was okay.

            “Oh uh, yeah...Thank you for doing this, i’m sorry for having Kris trouble you,” I bowed to him and smiled.

            “Oh no no, she’s a good person with a good heart,” he said and appeared as if he was daydreaming. Bowing was probably not a good idea because I had to rush to the washroom to throw up.

            “Oh? Omo omo, a-are you okay??” Onew said with a panicked voice. He followed me to the bathroom and just stood there, not knowing what to do. I didn’t bother thinking about the embarrassment I felt, throwing up in front of SHINee’s Onew. I kept my head down and my hair up, sitting on the floor of the bathroom. Onew had no idea how to make me feel better because he suddenly said,

            “Oh, we saw you last night at the airport,” he said and leaned against the door.

            “Oh really…?” I said in between my coughs.

            “Yeah! That was really funny but you looked cool,” he chuckled awkwardly, noticing it wasn’t making me feel better.

            “Uh Onew-ssi, could you uh..grab me a towel from the cabinet beside you?” I asked as I gagged. He moved fast and handed it to me, he took something out his phone and stepped out of the bathroom.

            “Yah, if you don’t, I will use my Hyung privileges to make you,” I heard him say. I started to cry. Why am I crying now of all times? I was so overwhelmed with how sick I felt and how confusing this situation was. Is this even real?

            “Uh, Ellie-ssi, sorry!” I heard him shout out from the hallway and then I heard the door shut. He probably felt uncomfortable that it was him that had to be there to help me or something. So I sat there, alone, crying. I stayed on the bathroom floor without getting up because I didn’t feel good enough to do so. Suddenly I heard the passcode lock on my door being played with because it kept beeping.

            “Who’s there??” I said loudly. Is somebody breaking and entering??? Am I getting robbed right now? I can’t even defend myself, maybe if I throw up on them or something…. Okay, that’s pretty gross... My front door opened suddenly and I heard footsteps getting closer and closer to the bathroom. I crawled forward and slowly shut the bathroom door. I couldn’t get up so I just sat there. How did they know my passcode? I couldn’t even dial for help because I left my phone on the kitchen counter. The footsteps were coming closer. This person wasn’t alone!

Then there was a knock on the bathroom door.

            “What do you want?! I’m calling the police right now! You’re breaking and entering!” I said, realizing that I had said that in English. These guys probably didn’t understand me. “Uhh uhh, i’m calling the police!” I yelled again, in Korean this time.

            “Uh, Ellie-ssi?” it was Onew’s voice again.

            “Oh, jeez, did Kris tell you my code now too or something?” I said with a big sigh of relief. I stayed on the floor, holding a towel and opened the door...But he wasn’t alone.

            “Okay bye,” Onew said quickly with a little wave and ran away, I heard the door shut. I didn’t move...or maybe I just couldn’t move.