“Oh my!!! You guys are always so amazing, oh my… Can I be a fan girl right now and not your friend?” I jumped up and down inside the waiting room. The concert had just ended, I only watched from the backstage, but it was still so good even though they only performed two songs. “I also can’t believe that I saw FX, SNSD, and Super Junior, wah… really, am I dreaming? Pinch me,” I grabbed Key’s hand and put it my cheek to let him pinch me. Instead, he pushed my face and chuckled.

            “Yah, you’re such a fangirl, breeeeathe,” he said. I frowned at him an pouted my lips then he grabbed my cheeks. “Aigooooooo, you’re such a cutieee,” his face was so close to mine that I thought he was going to kiss me.

            “Ahem!” we had forgotten about the members beside us, witnessing what was about to happen, but Kibum ignored them and would not let go of his hold on my face.

            “Yah,” I whispered. He just shook his head telling me to ignore them. Suddenly the waiting room door opened.

            “You guys,” shoot! That’s their manager. The members shot up from their seats to cover Key and I. He let go of my face so quick and stood up with the members. I got up and bowed. Their manager and I met before the concert started and he just asked who I was, making sure I wasn’t a stalker fan and everything. We barely talked but he was nice enough. But, we all weren’t talking because he had such a serious look on his face, a furious look. Then his eyes dropped on me then glared at the members. “Ellie-ssi? Can you get out? I have to speak with the members privately,” he said, putting his hands on his waist while standing in the doorway. I looked at them worriedly, but the members looked so nervous that I don’t think they heard what the manager said. Then I met Key’s eyes.

            “Go first,” he nodded and smiled. To reassure me that they’ll be fine. “We’ll look for you later,” he waved and the members were still frozen in their spots. When I got closer to the door, I bowed slightly to their manager and walked out, but he wouldn’t look in my direction. Why is he so angry?? He shut the door with so much force that people walking in the hallway looked at me, who was standing right in front of the door. I looked around and smiled at them. I didn’t want to go anywhere, also, I had no idea where to go, so I just stood beside the door and leaned back.

            “Yah!!” it was the manager’s voice. “Are you guys being stupid!? I’ve never had such a problem with you guys, you guys were always so good and this?! What the hell were you thinking Key! What is it, huh?!! It’s out! What are you gonna do??” I could hear his voice because he was still probably standing close to the door. There was silence, probably because the members are talking. The fan in me wanted to pull that man’s hair, tell him to bugger off and to leave the members alone, but obviously, I knew better. The guys know what they were doing so I just eavesdropped. “It doesn’t matter what it actually is! You all know that! What matters in this industry is what the people around you think of what it is!! Did you guys forget that?! Did you also forget that you’re all famous?! That what you all do isn’t invisible?!” He kept saying things like that and I almost wanted to leave because I shouldn’t be listening in the first place. Wait, are they talking about me?

            “Hyung, don’t get mad at them…” I heard Kibum say, I think he walked closer to the door because I could faintly hear his voice.

            “You’re a group, you’re one, one of you does something and it’ll affect the others, did you think about that??” Manager-ssi wouldn’t budge. It was quiet for a few more minutes. They’re probably all sorting it out…I would feel like the most horrible person if this was about me.

            “She’s special to me, Hyung!” Kibum shouted.

            “Eh?” I said out loud. It is about me…right? I wanted to run away, I wanted to leave and never speak to them again. How did he find out about me and Kibum?

            “That doesn’t matter! It’s now out there, it’s posted all over social media, they’re calling you all kinds of things, they’re calling that girl all kinds of things! How are you going to fix this, how, how?” the manager continued. It’s all over social media???? Is my face there? We were all so careful?? My mind went blank for a couple minutes and I couldn’t hear anyone around me. I had forgotten where I was and what was happening. Without realizing it, I walked away from the door and I was already halfway down the hallway.

            “Yah! Where are you going?!” it was Kibum’s voice. Then I heard footsteps approaching my behind. He grabbed my hand and dragged me back where I walked away from. There were still people walking in the hallway. People walking towards us and people walking away from us, not knowing whether to look at us or look away from us.

            “We’re kidding ourselves Kibum-ah,” I sighed and looked at him in the eyes. It was the first time I actually called him by his name, but it wasn’t the time to gush and blush.

            “What are you talking about, we’re fine,” he said and I could feel the manager’s eyes on us, but the members were nowhere to be seen. I shook my head.

            “No, it’s not fine, we’re not okay, it’s only been a day and it’s already like this… I heard everything. We can’t make this work,” I tried to get his hand off my arm, but his hold was so tight that his nails were digging into my skin. He kept shaking his head, looking away from me.

            “Aniya aniya, we’re gonna make this work, we have to,” he blinked about ten times. I touched his face and this time, people stopped to watch us, but Kibum didn’t back away and I didn’t care either.

            “Don’t be sad, silly,” I smiled at him and moved his face to look at me. He kept looking away, frustrated. Suddenly, the members walked out of their waiting room and walked towards our direction. “Hey, I’m sorry for the trouble I caused you guys,” I bowed slightly and looked at each of them.

            “Ssshhhhh, we got this,” Minho Oppa said and put his index finger on his lips. This made Key turn to face them.

            “What do you mean?” he asked, still not letting go of my arm.

            “Hyung! Come here,” Onew Oppa called out to the Manager Hyung, who was still standing in front of the waiting room. He came quickly, still quiet in front of me. He looked calmer now than when he walked inside that room earlier.

            “This... is Ellie-ssi,” Taemin moved his hand from Manager Hyung to me.

            “We met this afternoon already,” he said indifferently.

            “Yeah well, now you’re meeting her as…Key-goon’s girlfriend,” Jonghyun Oppa smiled. My eyes widened and looked at Key, but he smiled with Jonghyun. Kibum’s hand that was on my arm travelled down to my hand and clasped it. This was the first time we held our hands like this and it felt right doing it for the first time without hiding it. Manager Hyung’s eyes watched our hands that were tightly wrapped around each other’s.

            “It’s nice to meet you,” I bowed and he did too. He looked like he didn’t know what to say and I had no idea what to say either.

            “What are you guys gonna do now?” He was asking Kibum and I.

            “Well, we’re gonna support whatever they decide,” Onew Oppa said and patted Key’s back. The members nodded their heads and Kibum smiled gratefully at all of them and I did the same.

            “Are you guys gonna take responsibility for whatever harm this brings us??” Manager Hyung turned to them.         

            “I will,” Key said. I wanted to do something, but I had no power in this industry. This would hurt them more than it would hurt me. I didn’t have fans or an image to uphold. No matter how happy Key made me, was it worth their hard work and success? Key’s hand tightened around mine. Like he was answering my thoughts.

            “No, we will,” Jonghyun butted in.

            “Yeah, be happy,” Minho chimed.

            “We support you two,” Taemin smiled. For the whole time I’ve known them personally, I saw Taemin as that precious ‘maknae’ and had forgotten that he was actually older than me. But in this moment, he appeared as this mature, older brother. I was grateful for all of them.

            “No, you guys, this is just so much to ask for, I canno-“ I started to say.

            “You don’t get a say, sshh,” Key turned to me and furrowed his brows.

            “Yah,” I said quietly. But everybody ignored me, even their manager.

            “Okay, well, this is not up to me or you guys anyway, I’ll have to talk to you-know-who about…this,” Manager Hyung scratched his head. “I’ll get somebody else to drive you guys back to the dorm, I’m gonna get back to you guys later,” he bowed to me and walked away. I forgot about the people watching us in the hallway. FX’s Amber also had wide open and was twenty feet away from us.

            “yah yah yah, it’s Amber…!” I squealed quietly and widened my eyes at Key.

            “Amber! Come here,” Kibum called out to her in English. She jogged towards us and they did a little handshake. Key hasn’t let go of my hand and I was frozen in my spot. I’m standing… In front… of Amber…

            “Bro, is this real??!” Amber said loudly.

            “Yeah I know right, how come he got one and the rest of us are so lonely?” Minho shook his head in disbelief.

            “Well, except our great leader!” Taemin sang. We all turned to Onew who blushed and covered his cheeks with both hands.

            “You too, Oppa?!” Amber reacted and smacked Onew’s arm.

            “I knooooow! It’s about time, he keeps getting older,” Jonghyun said.

            “Wah, you’re one to talk, Taemin-goon will probably get married before you get a girlfriend,” Kibum joked but Jonghyun took it seriously.

            “Yah! Watch me,” he glared at Key.