“Did you look online yet?” I asked him and he shook his head.

            “I’m too nervous, what if there are bad comments or articles?” he said, putting on his sneakers.

            “There will always be bad comments,” I sighed, grabbing my water bottle from the fridge and packaged fruits as well. He grabbed them from me as I put on my shoes.

            “Yeah, but I don’t want you to get those comments,” he said with a worried voice.

            “I’ll be getting those comments anyway,” I gave another sigh and stood up. “Let’s go,” I said, grabbing the fruits and my water from him, stashing them in my duffel bag.

            “Give me the keys,” he said as we walked down the stairs. I handed the car keys to him and when we exited the building, there were about ten flashes that came from cameras. Fans and paparazzi. Of course. We should’ve thought about that! What now…

Kibum just bowed to them keeping his head down and I followed. We walked towards his car with these people still following and barely managed to get inside. I drowned out whatever they were saying and I think Key did the same thing.

            “I forgot about these guys,” he said. Thankfully, none of them stood in front of the car. They let us leave safely. With no tomatoes getting thrown at me. Or death threats. From those sasaeng fans.  

            “You guys are late,” Minho said when Kibum and I walked inside the practice room. I saw Kris at the corner of the room, on a couch and ran towards her.

            “Well, we… got caught up,” Kibum said and I eyed him from the couch. I didn’t care whatever else was happening today. I was just… well, happy.

            “Yah… have you seen the articles? The comments?” Kris looked at me and she laid her head on my lap. I shook my head and smiled.

            “I don’t care right now,” I inhaled deeply.

            “Why do you seem weird?” she asked. Then she glanced at Kibum, who was putting down out stuff at the front of the room with a weird smile on his face. “Yah yah yah,” Kris sat up so fast that I got dizzy. “What’s going on here? Something’s weird, something happened,” she stood up and put both her hands on her waist.

            “What? What do you mean? You weirdo,” I scoffed and kept my gaze down.

            “Mmmm-hmm!” she said with sass.

            “Can you just sit down,” I sighed. Thankfully, the boys were focused on their practice with the backup dancers who were also in the practice room. Kris sat back down, but kept her eyes on me. “I gotta practice, you wanna come?” I asked, standing up the moment she sat down.

            “Sure, but this isn’t over,” she said and stood beside me. I grabbed my duffel bag from the front of the room and announced that I was going to practice too and waved at them. Kibum continued to wave with the biggest smile on his face until we were in the hallway.

            “They’re all so cute, working hard and everything,” Kris gushed, looping her arm around mine.   

            “I know,” I replied with the same tone of voice as hers.

The whole time I was practicing, Kris was the one playing the music.

            “I’m gonna head out and get food for us,” she said after two hours of just playing on her phone and watching me. I walked to her and pulled her off the floor.

            “I’ll come, let’s get food for everyone!” I jumped.

            “Why are you so excited, jeez,”

            “Uh, well! If you must know, you curious woman… We… uh, well,” I started to say but she cut me off.

            “No! Really?! Actually?! No, you’re lying, no way!” she stopped in between the doorway.

            “Yeah,” I covered my face.

            “Oh my gosh, tsk tsk, aigoooooooooo,” she said and asked for details. Not too detailed though. 

            “Jaaaa, we have food for everyone!” We entered SHINee’s practice room where the boys were practicing with the backup dancers. However, they weren’t alone.

            “Well, look who it is, it’s the shameless Ellie,” Trainer Ye Jin and some other trainers were there. I froze in my spot and Kris just sensed the atmosphere. “How’s your weight? Gaining more and more?” she said, crossing her arms and walked towards us. She eyed the food we were holding. "Are you planning to eat all that?"

            “Yah, this woma-,” Kris attempted to step in front of me with her right hand fisted. I blocked her and kept her behind me.

            “Well well, who is this mighty protector you’ve got?” T. Ye Jin said. “Do you have fans now?” she laughed at herself while everyone else in the room kept quiet.

            “Sorry, but I think you’ll have to speak in English, this friend beside me can actually barely understand Korean,” I raised my head and looked her straight in the eye. She looked at me, tried to say something but stuttered. Was I being too rude? Well, she was rude to me. So she can, uh, get what she’s giving. Trainer Hyun Soon happened to be among the trainees and stood up. I bowed at him and said hello.

            “Neh neh, Ye Jin-ssi, are you done?” he said, as he pulled Ye Jin Trainer back to their seats at the front, still looking dumbfounded. I held back a laugh and so did Kris. I looked over to SHINee and they looked pretty shocked too, but Kibum was just nodding his head, holding back a smile.

            “I’m sorry to bother you all, but we just came by to drop off food for everyone, I’m sure you’re all hungry, the trainers too, please have some,” Kris and I approached the back of the room and put down the take-out food on the long table. They all thanked us and we bowed.

            “We’ll leave you to it then,” Kris and I said at the same time. We proceeded to walk out and Taemin called out to us.

            “Aniya, have some too, you bought it for us,”

            “Yeah, come eat!”

They gestured for us to come forward, so Kris went, leaving me standing by the door. When I didn’t reply, everyone looked at me.

            “Aniyo, thank you, but I don’t wanna keep gaining more and more weight,” I gave a smile and looked over to Ye Jin who might as well have laser coming out of her eyes.

            “Please enjoy your meal!” I bowed and left the room. I went back to practice and found a vocal practicing room. It was just a tiny cubicle with soundproof walls. I sat down on the only chair and faced the wall.

            “Okay, you can do it, singing isn’t that bad…” I mumbled to myself. I grabbed earphones and plugged it into my phone to listen to songs and sing alone. “Nobody’s here anyways, just you,” I sighed and did what I did best; sang alone.

            “Director said we have an interview with some influential web article publisher,” Kibum said when he entered the vocal practice room. I was here for two hours already and my voice was starting to get more and more hoarse. 

            “Oh? Already?” I said, removing the earphones from my ears.

            “Yeah, I haven’t checked online for anything yet… I’m too nervous,” he said, clutching the doorknob, so I signaled for him to come in and shut the door.

            “Me too…” I sighed. He inched closer to hold my hands as I stay seated.

            “Jonghyunnie told me the comments on my Instagram are supportive… so that’s good,” he smiled, trying to remove the concern out of my head.

            “They’ll find out I’m a trainee here now, that I’m being sent to school too, and that I’ll be debuting… I know it’s not at all the case, but they’ll think I’m mooching off you or something,” I said awkwardly.

            “Oh Ellie Ellie,” he shook his head and bent down to kiss my forehead.

            “What?” I looked up at him.

            “That’s why we’re going to that interview, we need to clear everything, block off any rumours that could start and stomp on rumours that have already started,” he gestured for me to get up and he hugged me. “You’re good at that, you’re basically trained to do that, so I’m not worried and neither should you. As long as the people actually around us know the truth, then we’re okay,” he said, hugging me tighter.

Knock knock.

            “Oh, sorry, my baaaad,” Minho opened the practice room door. I chuckled and Kibum let go to re-open the door after Minho shut it when he saw us hugging.

            “Come back, we were just hugging, you gross-minded boy,” Kibum said and we stepped out of the room because it would be impossible to fit the three of us in there.

            “Pffft. No!” Minho hugged himself and faked a gag. “I just came by because Trainer Ye Jin came back and is looking for Ellie, she’s with a camera guy, they said they have to film you sing,” he said calmly. My body froze instantly and I couldn’t hear anything else. Sing…? Now? I’m not ready… Kibum looked at me worriedly and held my hand as we walked back to the practice room. He did the talking for me because I just wasn’t in the right state of mind. My mind went blank and I could feel my heart beating fast, like it was trying to bang its way out of my chest.

Apparently, they were going to record me in the same practice room where SHINee was practicing. For everyone to see. All T. Ye Jin’s orders. Trainer Hyun Soo arrived, he specialized in vocal training so he had to be present.

            “We’re waiting,” Trainer Ye Jin said after not even five seconds of telling me to start.

            “Yeah, for like five seconds,” I muttered in English and I did this so often now that she just ignored me whenever I did so. I was facing the mirror where the cameraman, T. Hyun Soo and T. Ye Jin were sitting in front of and I could see the SHINee members, the backup dancers, and Kris sitting on the ground, waiting. Kibum was the only was standing up, looking like he was ready to jump. I think a minute passed and all of the members stood up, in encouragement. Kris stayed sitting and when our eyes met, she gave me a slow nod. In that moment, I closed my eyes and drowned out T. Ye Jin’s pen-tapping, focused on slowing down my breathing, and pictured myself alone. No, I pictured myself standing on a stage and seeing my Aunt in the audience, waving and smiling wide. Then I sang. I didn’t have a song prepared in Korean so I sang in English. It wasn’t perfect, but I did it. When I finished, I opened my eyes and faced my reflection. I did it. I did it! Are you watching, Aunty???

I did it.