"Oppa, how come you’re here?” I looked at Onew. It wasn’t like I didn’t want him there but I didn’t want to bother their holidays.

     “Well, the big boss also called me to come in with you two,” he shrugged. Was I the only one super nervous??? Kibum probably felt my hands trembling from the nervousness because he squeezed my hand.

      “Did you look online today?” I asked Key. He nodded and looked at me looking apologetic.

      “Are you okay?” he said, waiting for my reaction.

      “Yeah, Ellie are you okay?” Onew asked in English. I just nodded because the titles of articles online were pretty scandalizing and the comments were the worst, but there were also many who said they supported Kibum’s love life.

      “It’s okay, at least I don’t have the career you have,” I smiled at both of them to wash their worries away.

      “Let me know if Key-goon’s too much for you,” Onew whispered to me.

      “Yah, I heard that,” Kibum said.

      “Yeah, well I wanted you to hear,” Onew said back. The elevator dinged and we walked out. We were on the highest floor of the building and I followed the both of them as they walked through the hallways.

      “Is he in?” Kibum asked the assistant behind the big desk. She got up and bowed. I didn’t really get a chance to look at her because I was so nervous to care about my surroundings.

      “Neh, he’s waiting for you,” she kept her head down until we passed her. She looked kind of familiar but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I shrugged it off and kept walking. My heart was beating so fast, it felt like it wanted to jump out of my chest and run away from this awful situation. I had everything I wanted. I was living in the country I always wanted to experience living in, my closest friends here are the SHINee members, my boyfriend is Key, it’s the holidays, all I need is my family here, but why do I feel like I don’t have all that? Somebody please take me out of this situation! I grabbed Kibum’s arm which was about to knock on the door. Onew stopped too, watching this happen.

      “Wait, I heard that, uh… he uh… doesn’t treat his artists well…? There’s been so many controversies and rumours about that CEO… Oh my gosh, one sec.” I said with heavy breathing pauses.

      “Ellie-ah, it’s okay, he likes us because we’ve never really caused him trouble,” Onew said with a soothing voice.

      “Yeah, never, until now,” I whispered loudly. Kibum chuckled and patted my head.

      “It’s okaaaay, relax, I’ll do the talking, I’m pretty smooth you know,” he winked and without waiting for a response, he knocked on the door three times.

      “Come in,” a man, whose voice sounded much like a CEO’s voice would, said.

      “Crap, here we go,” I said quietly in English. Kibum led the way and Onew stayed behind me, they sandwiched me.

      “Why are you blocking the young lady, come sit down,” the CEO said again, but I was too scared to look, so I just followed the two bow.

      “Well, she’s much prettier than how those comments were describing her,” was that a compliment? Or a jab? He said it like it was an insult… This is exactly what I was scared of. Kibum cleared his throat.

      “Neh, she’s very pretty,” I felt him glance at me, as I stood there frozen in between these two boys.

      “How have you been, Director?” Onew asked, trying to lessen the tension.

      “I’ve been good, good, thanks to all the Hanwoo sets your mom always sends,” he replied to Onew. “Have a seat kids, do you want anything to drink?” he asked us and we slowly sat down.

      “We’re okay, thank you,” Kibum said. It felt like this man was trying to get me to talk.

      “Does this lady know Korean?” he said quietly.

      “Neh, I know Korean,” I said out of nowhere. Control your tongue! Jeez! I took off my cap and fixed my hair. “It’s nice to meet you,” I got up and bowed then sat back down.

      “Aigoo, nice to meet you,” he held out his hand and I shook his hand as politely as I could. I finally looked at his face. He looked exactly like the pictures online, kind of like your favourite uncle in dramas. Although, that doesn’t change his personality. I had no idea if he was actually nice or pretending to be nice. Probably the latter… I wish Lee Soo Man was still the CEO… There were barely any rumours about his actions and his position as the Director and Founder.

      “Director, I’d rather just get down to the subject if that’s okay. I apologize for the articles,” Kibum said, sounding vulnerable and he bowed, I followed because the articles were about him and I. The man cleared his throat and changed his attitude.

      “Did you guys think about how this affects the company? Stocks have dropped! Because of whatever you wanna call this,” he said with a loud voice, almost yelling, but he looked calm. I felt a shiver down my spine and kept my gaze down. I was apologetic and afraid.

      “Leader, did you know about this?” he asked.

      “Neh, I did,” Onew answered, without a hint of nervousness or vulnerability. Why wasn’t he scared? Even Key was showing a different side of him.

      “Oh you did? And you didn’t think about the consequences?” the Director asked, but it wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

      “I apologize for the trouble I caused,” I said, out of turn again. I gotta control myself.

      “I wasn’t talking to you,” he spat out.

      “Director, I hid it from Hyung, he found out recently,” Kibum said. Onew knew from the start. Are we going to lie now?

      “Yes, we only told the members recently,” I went along with Kibum’s lie. Onew squeezed my arm but I pulled away. “It’s our fault,” I did not want to see anybody get hurt from this.

      “Okay, that doesn’t matter. Why didn’t you two think about the consequences?” he said to Kibum and I.

      “It just kind of happened, Director…” Kibum said slowly. The CEO laughed, but it wasn’t a light-hearted laugh, it was one of those evil character laughs you would only witness in dramas.

      “It just happened?” he said, re-positioning himself. He leaned forward. “So let me get this straight, you just suddenly showed up at this lady’s door, stayed there for, let’s say a few days, then the members spent Christmas Eve there, then she came backstage for the concert yesterday, and that all just happened to happen,” he said sternly. Not waiting for an answer.

      “No Director, she and I have been friends for a long time now and she came to the country. That day I went over to her apartment, she was sick and she has no family here to take care of her, and I stayed with her until she got better. Also, the members didn’t go home for Christmas since we all had that concert yesterday, they just wanted to stay at the dorm, so we decided to surprise Ellie here for Christmas Eve,” Kibum told the truth. The Director stayed quiet for a while.

      “Kibum actually confessed to her, took him long enough” Onew joked and the Director laughed. Why was he so kind towards Onew?

      “Neh, I did,” Kibum confirmed.

      “And Ellie-ssi here likes you back?” this scary man said with a less serious voice now. Almost sounding like a joke. Kibum chuckled. I guess it was a joke.

      “Okay, your managers already got an earful from me, the members I won’t need to talk to. The leader is here so he can talk to them. As for you two… You know I don’t do this for anyone but you guys are getting closer to thirty years old. So, I will let this happen on one condition,” he said. My heart dropped. A heavy weight on my shoulders just lifted and I wanted to jump up and down, but I waited for him to finish his sentence.

      “What condition, sir?” Kibum said, eager to hear the end of the sentence.

      “You have to go public with this,”

      “Neh?!” Kibum and I said at the same time.

      “H-ho-how come, Director?” I asked nervously.

      “The stocks came down because of bad press, the articles, which I’m sure you’ve all seen, are not great, the comments are horrible, I’m getting bad comments too, so are the members, so, if you want all that to change, your audience need to know the truth and whether they believe it or not or if they think it’s a ploy, it doesn’t matter. As long as the seed is planted, we can move forward knowing we did our part,” he explained calmly. The three of us nodded at the same time. We understood but we didn’t want my face out there because it would make my life harder. My job, my living situation, all those people know where I live. How would I work in that job?

The three of us didn’t want to question the approval and after we bid goodbye, the Director asked Onew to stay to discuss the matter. Kibum and I walked outside the office and quietly jumped up and down. But I was too worried about my face being on there.

      “So Ra?” a woman called out my voice. I turned around and saw a face I thought I’d never see again. It was the familiar receptionist who kept her head down when we passed earlier. I knew she looked familiar!

      “Ji-Hye?!” I said loudly and walked up to her. Kibum stayed in his position.

      “Omo!!!” she said and covered .

      “Oh my gosh!!! I can’t believe this is where we meet again!” I hit her arm subconsciously. “Where have you been?! How come you left, you have no idea how said Kris and I were when you just disappeared. We wondered what happened,” I trailed off at the end remembering how Ji-Hye just disappeared when we were in elementary school. We didn’t have her contact number or her social media information, so we had no way of contacting her

      “Well, my family decided to move back here because of financial troubles… I’m so sorry for leaving just like that!” she said and hugged me. We were talking in English then we paused, realizing we had an audience. It was Kibum, Onew, and the big boss CEO.

      “How come you know our Ji-Hye here?” the CEO approached the two of us and patted Ji-Hye’’s shoulder.

      “Uncle, she’s an elementary school friend back when our family moved abroad,” she said to him, smiling.

      “Uncle?!” I shouted, surprised. The CEO chuckled.

      “Yes, I’ve known Ji-Hye’s family for almost ten years, we have gotten quite close and I asked Ji-Hye here if she wanted to put her college degree to use here at the company,” the CEO explained.

      “Yes, Uncle’s a great guy,” she smiled at him and looked at me and widened her eyes. What does that mean? “So Ra here, was one of my best friends there, I wouldn’t have gotten through school if I didn’t know her,” Ji-Hye explained.

      “So Ra??” the three said at the same time; Kibum, Onew oppa, and the Director. I looked at the three of them.

      “Oh yeah, she gave me a Korean name and that’s been kind of the Korean name I go by,” I explained formally since I was also talking to the Director.

      “Daebak, you have a Korean name,” Kibum said.

      “We’ll have a reunion next time, for now, enjoy your holidays and we will see each other soon, Ji-Hye yah, bring me those documents when you say your goodbyes,” the CEO walked away back into his office.

      “Put your number in, I’ll text you my number later,” I handed my phone and she typed away. We hugged and she said goodbye to Onew and Key and that was how we left the building.

      “Daebak daebak daebak daebak,” was all I could say as the three of us got inside Key’s car. Onew made me sit in the front with Key and he sat in the back, I felt awful that he had to do that, but he reassured me saying that I will probably the only girl who will ever sit beside Key as he drove so he said he was doing it for Key.

      “Will you be okay…if uh- this gets released?” Kibum said hesitantly as we headed back to their dorm.

      “Mmm- I’m mo-“ I started but was interrupted with a ringing phone coming from the backseat.

      “Omo, hello?” Onew answered his phone. Kibum and I stopped talking to not talk over what could be an important phone call for the leader. “aigoo, kekekekekeke, right now? I’m…in the car with Key and Ellie, oh kekeke, mmm, I’ll call you later, mmm!” Onew oppa was acting cute and he certainly did not fail in doing but Kibum and I looked at each other and couldn’t help but cringe and laugh.

      “Was that Kris?” I chuckled.

      “No,” Onew said with a straight face.

      “Mwo?” Kibum and I said at the same time.

      “Yah, look where you’re driving,” I pushed Key’s head back facing the front because we both turned to look at Onew.

“Juuuust kidding, of course that was Kris, kekeke, my cutie,” Onew with aegyo dropping a kiss on his phone.     

      “Waaah, daebak,” I think this was my word of the day.

      “Anyways, Ellie-ah, will you be okay when the news gets released?” Onew asked, changing the subject.

      “Mhmm, I’m more worried about Kibum and you guys, the fans will probably hate me and what if your fanclub decreases in number?” I stated.

      “Actually when Director asked me to stay behind, we discussed how we could approach the situation and we said that the best way to reveal the news is to just be truthful, he will invite a bunch of reporters and hopefully this will give you two good press, then hopefully healing the wound,” Onew explained.

      “Ahh…” Kibum said, nodding.

      “Wait...a- bu- bunch of reporters?” I knew this was going to happen, but a bunch of reporters means a bunch of exposure to the public. “Ottoke?” I said quietly, looking out the window. Then Kibum’s hand was suddenly over mine.

      “If you don’t want to do this, we can stop,” he said, looking at me with sad eyes.

      “Don’t be ridiculous,” I smiled. “And look where you’re driving,” I added.

      “The members told me to tell you guys congratulations, that your relationship has been approved,” Onew said from the back.

      “Aww, thank you,” I said with a huge grin.

            Was I being selfish? Was it too much? If the public doesn’t take it well, then we’re doomed, but if they do, then life will get complicated. Do we go through with this? Is this worth all the hard work they put in? Is it worth publishing? Am I worth enough to even be publicized like and be in a relationship with him? And be friends with SHINee? I’m grateful, but troubled… What should I do...