Han Byul had called saying she wanted me to go over to her place. She said all the other girls were going to be there. I missed hanging out with them so I agreed and went over. "Haeri!" She welcomed me in to her house. "Where's Dong Wook?" I asked since she and him lived together, they were married afterall. "He and the guys are having a boys night out as well." She said. I went in and greeted everyone else. We chatted, had a few snacks, quite a few drinks and then we went out. By this time, In Na, Minzy and Chaerin were sort of out there, a little too many drinks they had. We go out to a bar in which Han Byul were friends with the owners, so we all got in, got a vip room and had more drinks. So by now we were all sort of out there...In Na, Dara and Ha Yi were giggly and stumbling, Chaerin and Minzy were in their own happy worlds, Han Byul was still standing, still strong and me, I was buzzed and wobbly but nothing as bad as the others. We decided to go out for a late dinner and well..."Babe?!" Han Byul called out to Dong Wook who was at a booth with the other guys.

"Oh?! What are you girls doing here?!" He said looking at the rest of us. "We just came to eat." Han Byul said. Chaerin found her way next to Jiyong. Dara took a seat next to Youngbae. "Why don't you girls join us?" Dong Wook said. "Since a few of you have already found your seats." He added. "Well I guess. You girls okay with that?" Han Byul asked. Everyone nodded so we all took a seat even though I wasn't really looking forward to it since Seunghyun was there too. Everyone went in to sit and had to squeeze in a little since it was just a booth table. Ha Yi took a seat next to Seung Yoon, In Na next to Youngbae, Minzy next to Deuk. Of course I would happen to sit next to Seunghyun, at least Han Byul was to the left of me. We ordered and everyone chatted with those around them. I just felt awkward. We ate and then we all went outside. "Final round together?" Dong Wook asked. It's cold. I was in a dress and was covered in goosebumps. "What do you girls think?" Han Byul asked the girls. All of them agreed, I was about to speak up and say I had to go home but right when I was going to do that, I felt something wrap around me. I look and it was Seunghyun's jacket. I looked at him and he said nothing. Everybody probably had their eyes on us and was judging us...I turn to face everyone but everyone seem to be in their own world, busy with their own things, people, boyfriends. So we were all at Dong Wook and Han Byul's. This time I made sure I wasn't sitting next to Seunghyun.

There was a lot more drinking and by this time Hayi, In Na, and Dara were all asleep knocked out. Chaerin was outside with Jiyong doing whatever it is what they do. Minzy, Don, Deuk and Youngbae were all dancing. Everyone else was having more drinks. I was getting to that point in which I was going to knock out soon so I stopped and got up and quietly left, everyone was either busy, already sleeping so if I slipped out it wouldn't be too big of a problem. I was walking for a few seconds when I realized maybe this wasn't the best idea, i'm outside in only a dress, in heels, at night, alone, drunk and not very stable. I stood there looking up at the sky when I feel a jacket wrap around me again, "It's not safe." He said lifting me up off my feet. I wanted to push him and get down but my world was spinning and I had no strength left. "Hold onto me if you don't want to fall." He said walking forward. "Shouldn't a man not let a woman fall? It'd be your fault if I fall." I said holding onto him in the end. At some point I feel myself being put down on a bed. I tried to look around but my head was spinning too much so I just laid back down and fell asleep.

While sleeping I start dreaming. Through the darkness I hear his voice. "Everyone may look at me with judging eyes, but what really hurts is the fact that you have become a part of that everyone." Why do I feel so hurt hearing those words? Tears start welling up in my eyes, I'm crying. "I'm sorry, i'm so sorry. But what do you expect? I loved you, I really did, what you did might have been fun for you, but not for me. It...still hurts." I said out to him. "I love you, baby I'm not a monster." I felt his hands caress my face, I reach up and touch his hands. "You've seem cold lately. You've lost yourself, your color, your fire, you. Why? What's happened?" I asked. "Teach me the answer sweet girl." He said. I don't understand. "The answer to what?" I asked. "The answer to that question you just asked me." He said. "I can't, can I? The reason why you've lost your fire, shouldn't you know it the best?" I asked. No answer. I felt something touch my lips, a kiss. "If I told you I really did and still do love you, what will you say?" He said. And then back to darkness. 

I woke up in a room I had never seen. "Ahh, hangover." I grabbed onto my head. I see Seunghyun sleeping on the sofa. My dream last night...was it really a dream? Or did it really happen? My god...don't tell me it was real. No, it can't be real, our situation is too...bad to be something like this. He wouldn't, couldn't...right? I looked over at him who was still sleeping. I touched my lips and looked at my hands, it didn't happen, no, it didn't. It was all just a dream. I looked over at Seunghyun and his eyes were opened. "Morning." I nodded. "Morning." He said getting up. All a dream. "Hey...nothing happened last night right?" I just had to know. He sat there looking at me. "...No." He said. "Like we didn't have a conversation or anything right?" I asked just making sure. "No. As soon as you got here you fell asleep." He said. "Okay...ummm...well where am I?" I asked looking around at this unfamiliar room. "My room." He said. "Your room?" I asked looking around, this didn't look like his room. "Did you move?" I asked. "Yes." He said. "Why?" I asked, what in the world am I doing? Talking to him like nothing is wrong, like everything is fine. "I should get going." I said getting up and ready to leave. "Take the jacket, there must be a morning chill out." He said. "No it's fine, Kris won't like it." I told him. Just leave Haeri, stop talking to him, stop letting yourself fall back into him. I walked towards the door and heard him say, "The answer is you." "What?" I said, looking at him. A minute of silence passes. "You light the fire in my soul." He finally said...so it wasn't a dream?

YG had weekend plans and so I was going. Yanggaeng and Daniel got a cabin for the weekend and so we were all getting together to bond and whatnot. It was near a ski resort that had spas and all that jazz. I was just excited to be all together again, it was the first time in a long time, since our Paris trip so I was really looking forward to it even though it was going to be a cold weekend. So Jay oppa comes byt o pick me up before we head out. By the way, it's been a while since I've updated on them so here's the scoop.

Jay oppa has grown more handsome, well they all have but yeah. He's still in school and I heard he recently got into bboying, I've seen a few of his battles, he shown them to me because they were uploaded online and oppa was a very awesome bboy! He was and is amazinggg!!!

Joon oppa is just working right now, he works at YG and at a club or something. I think he's a bartender, yeah. Anyways he found himself a girlfriend!!! I met her once, she's really pretty, I think her name is Hyomin. He said that she might be joining us for the weekend. Yanggaeng had said we could invite anyone and I guess he invited her, I mean, I invited Kris so yeah.

Kikwang, I have to say has grown the most. Maybe it's just because he changed his style a little that he seems more handsome but either way yeah. He's a first year in college and is of course still dancing. I hear he is trying out singing though, I don't really know. He also told me about a girl he is currently talking to. It seems he really likes her by the way he speaks about her. I told him to invite her to this weekend but all he said was maybe, so I don't know, maybe I'll get to meet her.

Tao is just Tao. He's my best friend. He seems to just know when something is up and is always protective of me. He makes fun of me too but I do the same to him so it's no big deal. He's the athlete of our grade, everyone knows him for it. Does Tao have a girlfriend? No he doesn't, I asked him why because I mean there are girls lining up for him but he says there isn't one that stands out right now for him. I agree though! I don't really see any of the girls at our school fit for Tao.

"This is going to be semi-fun." Jay said as we were going to go pick up Kikwang. "Semi?!" I said not fully understanding. "It's going to be fun because we haven't all gotten together in a while but at the same time, in this weather? Well..." He explained. "Yeah, I know! I wonder what they have planned! By the way oppa, did you invite anyone to this trip?" I asked him. "No. I heard everyone was invited though." He said. "Everyone? As in..." "Well Daniel said the others were joining us too so I assume he meant, Teddy, Se7en, Han Byul, GD, TOP, Chaerin and well just all of them." Jay said. Top...Seunghyun...so he was going to be there too? All of them? I guess I can't do anything about it. "Morning guys!" Kikwang said as he got in the car. "It's too cold to be going out like this." Kikwang said as he was getting seated in the back. "Well we can't always just go out in the summer! Plus I think this is going to be fun. I can't wait to get in a hot spring." I excitedly said. "Well at least someone is excited." Kikwang said. "You'll make if fun for us right Haeri?" Jay asked me. "Of course! Let's gogogo!" I said.

It was an hour drive away so the three of us talked about whatever. "Is Kris coming along too?" Kikwang asked. "Yeah, he's coming with Tao and Joon oppa later." I told them. "Ahh, ever since you started dating we get less and less of you." Jay said. "I agree! You have no time for us anymore!" Kikwang said. "What are you oppas talking about?!" I asked after hearing these strange oppas. "You use to be so innocent and cute. Calling me handsome, saying you will always be my fan." Jay pouted. I just laughed. "Is that what happens after someone becomes a queenka? You just throw us away like we're nothing?" Kikwang also pouted. "I am forever your fans but you oppas are crazy. You two need girlfriends!" I said. "I need you." Jay joked. "Whatever! Stop joking around! Find yourself a girlfriend!" I said. "See, not so innocent anymore." Jay said. We all just laughed. Ohh the good ol' days.

 We get there and Yanggaeng and Daniel were already there. "Hey guys!" They said. "Just choose an unoccupied room, since you three are the first here you get to choose, we already have our rooms." Daniel said. The oppas had rented a 10 bedroom cabin, it was very nice, it was more of a hotel you could say. There were 4 big bedrooms on the first floor and then 6 smaller ones on the second. So the two of them probably chose one each on the first floor, I'm sre Dong Wook oppa and Han Byul would get one and the other would be Jiyong and Chaerin's? Maybe Joon and Hyomin's...who cares it wasn't going to be me so I went upstairs and choose the room on the corner since it had a small balcony, well they all did, but the room was much nicer to. Jay oppa chose one and then Kikwang chose another. I unpacked and then went downstairs to see Dong Wook and Han Byul coming in. After them was Joon, Hyomin, Tao and Kris. Next was Teddy and last were Jiyong, Chaerin, Seunghyun. So The four bigger rooms were used by Yanggaeng, Daniel, Dong Wook and Han Byul and then Kikwang, Kris and Tao were sharing the last one. The rooms upstairs were, Joon and Hyomin, Chaerin and Jiyong, I had one to myself, Jay had one, Teddy had one and Seunghyun had one.

After everyone was situated we all got together for dinner. Han Byul, Chaerin, Hyomin and I all cooked. Yes, the girls...no we chose too though. The guys were having drinks playing cards so we figured, let them have their fun. 

Hyomin, I like her. Joon oppa chose a good girl, not that my opinion really matters but he did a good job. She was really pretty! She's really funny and silly too, no wonder why Joon likes her. I asked her why she likes Joon and dated him and she said it was because he looks masculine and all on the outside but inside, he was an absolute babo. God I like her! LOL. She knows how to have a good time and she's not afraid to say what's on her mind. She's a really cool funny unnie.

We all eat and then we were free to do whatever we wanted since we were all heading over to the ski resort tomorrow. I for one, wanted to go in the jacuzzi. I went up, got into my bathing suit and then went down to the jacuzzi. As soon as I got there...there were already to many people. It was full! T_T So I decided to just stay inside and do whatever everyone else was doing. I went back up and got changed and then headed to the living room where some of the guys were still drinking and playing cards. "Want to join?" Dong Wook asked. "Yeah." I said taking a seat next to Yanggaeng and Teddy. I looked around the table and noticed it was the oppas who were mainly playing. Yanggaeng, Teddy, Jay and then well Seunghyun. "Why aren't you with the others?" Teddy asked. "Jacuzzi all filled up?" Jay asked. I nodded, I swear I got changed in less than 5 minutes, how did everyone else already get into it? Oh well. "Here." Yanggaeng said opening a bottle and handing it to me. "Oppa, you know it was because of you guys that I got into this and the only time I drink is when I'm with you all?!" I said to them. "Well somebody has to provide it for you. Glad that it's us and not some stranger." Jay smiled. "I guess." I said.

We had played a few rounds of poker when I see Kris. I got up to go towards him. "Use protections." Yanggaeng joked. "Try not to make too much noise." Teddy added. "Whatever! Don't say things like that." I said back to them laughing until I see Seunghyun. I turn around quickly and we went up to my room. "Where were you?" I asked him. "Jacuzzi." He said. "You're one of those people who took my spot in the jacuzzi! How dare you leave me alone too!" I said to him. "Aahahah, sorry babe. Want to go out for a walk?" Kris asked. "Sure, let's go." I said pulling on my jacket and following him downstairs. "Kris and I are going for a walk, we'll be back in a little bit." I said out to Yanggaeng and the others who were still playing cards. "Deciding not to make noise here so you're going outside?" Teddy joked. Ouuu I wanted to go over to him and put him in a headlock instead I just stuck my tongue out at him. "Okay, be safe!" He called out after us. Kris and I went outside and it was pretty cold. "Here." He said turning me to face him and zipping up my jacket. "Thank you." I said pulling him in for a kiss. He held my hand and the two of us continued on our walk. "This feels good. Walking with my beautiful girlfriend." He smiled at me. Kris was such a good boyfriend. He looked after me very well, he made me feel very safe and secure. The look when he looked at me showed me that he really did love and care for me. "You're a very amazing boyfriend." I told him. "All thanks to you." He pulled me in for a kiss, a kiss that left me breathless. That night, we fell asleep in each other's arms.

We had been at the ski resort all morning/day long. Kris helped teach me how to ski and snowboard. It was soooo much fun, everyone was having a good time. We fell down so many times, we had thrown snow balls at each other and by now we were all red nosed and freezing. Kris and I went inside to get some coffee to take a break. We were going to leave soon to so we were waiting for everyone else to come in. I was sitting on Kris's lap when I notice Seunhyung sitting across from us.

Was it really not a dream? Did we really have that conversation. The answer is you, you light the fire in my soul. I wonder what he meant. I replayed everything, the conversation we supposedly had. But he said we didn't talk when I asked him...was he lying? You've lost yourself, your color, your fire, you. Why? What's happened? That's what I asked him...I was the one who lit his fire...he lost his fire, his color, himself because of me? That doesn't make sense. I was nothing to him so why would the answer be me in the first place? He couldn't have lost himself because of me because he never loved me, it's not possible I was the answer...If I told you I really did and still do love you, what will you say? I would say liar...no actually I would ask why? If you loved me, why would you leave me, why would you do what you did to me? It doesn't make any sense. Do you love me? My eyes were still on Seunghyun.

Kris's arms wrap around me from behind and he pulls me in closer to him breaking my chain of thought. "What are you thinking about?" He asked. "Nothing." I smiled giving Kris a kiss. "Haeri?!" I look around. "Unnie, it is you!" That voice! 

"Jiyeon?!" I shouted seeing her walking towards me. "Unnie!" She shouted giving me a big hug. "I've missed you! How have you been? Where have you been?" We both had endless questions for each other. After we settled we took a seat and caught up. It was so great seeing her again. Still cute as ever. "Ah, Jiyeon, this is my boyfriend Kris. Kris this is my cute friend Jiyeon." "Hello." They said to each other. "Are you and Daehyun still..." I asked her. "Yeah! He's here...just somewhere else with his friends." Jiyeon smiled. "That's good." I smiled. Jiyeon looked around and then made a face at me...a face that told me she saw Seunghyun. I just smiled. "Why don't you come by later and hang out with me. Invite Daehyun too." I said to her. "Okay, yeah I'll be there." She said. I gave her the address and one last hug before we left back to the cabin.

She came by after a few hours and we chatted again in my room. "Where's Daehyun?" I asked. "He said for me to just come alone so that we can have a better time together since he knows it's been a while." She said. We talked some more and then we decided to go out. "Oppa is there anywhere close here that Jiyeon and I could go to?" I asked Daniel. "Well there is a hot spring about 5 minutes away." He said. "Yes! The hot spring!!!" I excitedly said, I'd been wanting to go to one since we got here. "I think Jay is going, I'm sure he'll give you two a ride." He told me. "Thank you!" I said leaving to find Jay. "He agrees to taking Jiyeon and I so I go up to tell Jiyeon and we get our things ready." 

"Why can't I go?!" Kris asked. "Because I want to only spend time with Jiyeon." I said to him. He pouted and made his best sad puppy face. I laughed as I pulled him in for a kiss. "Next time." I said to him. So Jiyeon and I get in the car along with Jay and Kikwang and we get to the hot spring. "Ahhh, finally." I said getting into the hot spring with Jiyeon. By now we were all caught up and everything just felt so right. We leave the hot springs and go back to the cabin in which Jiyeon told me she was going to sleep over. We sat on the balcony with blankets wrapped around us and hot coffees in our hands. "This is so beautiful." She said looking out into the dark black night with stars high above. "Yeah, definitely don't get this in the city." I said. We sat in a moment of silence when she said, "Unnie, what happened between you and Seunghyun?" "...We just didn't work out." I told her. "Well I can tell Kris is a real great guy, you seem happy with him but...Seunghyun and you were made for each other." She looked at me. "...Well we're not together anymore." I said. "I don't know what happened to you too but I believe that no matter what, you two loved each other very much. As a spectator from the very beginning, you two were in love and were made for each other." She said. I had no words. "You still love him." She said. I looked at her...I do, don't I? I wished I didn't. "And I will help you in getting him back because I for one, know you two are meant to be." She said getting up, going inside and closing the doors. "What are you doing?" I said as the doors lock. "Yah, Jiyeon, this isn't funny." I said through the door. "This is for you. Work it out him." She said from the other side. Nothing I can do now. I turn around and see him standing outside on his balcony looking at me...