CHAPTER XVI: It’s a free choice to begin a love

             Mount Hallasan probably is one of the most beautiful destination Nayeon had ever been. The air is fresh, there are beautiful trees everywhere, the sight is breathtaking and the sunlight that kisses her is warm, no wonder people say you'll live a longer life if you were to climb up to this mountain. Out of the five trails they could follow, they decided on the Yeongsil Trail, and they didn't regret because the scene is breathtaking. Still, Nayeon would’ve appreciated it more---  well, if only she can actually hike properly.

‘Damn that sea urchin!’ Nayeon said underneath her breath. But then she thought how she must’ve been so stupid to step on something which can be seen properly by any normal person.

She walked another stepped trying to catch up with the other with a soft sigh. Walking quietly though, makes her think, especially about the happenings last night. One thing about Yoo Jeongyeon and one thing about Hirai Momo. No one wouldn’t see how much confusion Nayeon is in.

“Ugh, why do my feet hurts~”  Chaeyoung groaned. Nayeon actually felt a bit relieved that someone’s feet are hurting too, trying to keep up with her injury is just hell.

“it’s because your feet lacks in length, small bean” Tzuyu snickered, teasing the smaller woman.

Chaeyoung instantly glared at her, “this is better than being mistaken as a pine tree because of that gigantic height”

“I didn’t know dwarfs live on the hallasan mountain though. Hey dwarf-ssi, where’s snow white?” Tzuyu mocked her as she bent in to tease the smaller woman even more.

“hey, hey! what’s wrong with being short!” Taeyeon catches up as she looked at Tzuyu and Chaeyoung. She then put her arms around her smaller hoobae and smirked, “it’s not bad to be short as long as you’re good with women.”

“and besides, when you hug taller women, your face is diving right into their s,” Taeyeon joked wiggling her eyebrows.

After hearing that, Both of the shorties laughed, chaeyoung high fived the older woman, making Tzuyu just shook her head. Obviously, the two shorties thinks they’re some sort of Casanovas—when they’re actually sound like old erts.

“I still don’t know what got that to do why her feet hurts,” Tzuyu sighs.

“you don’t need to blame my height, alright?” chaeyoung leered, “just blame gravity or what so ever.”

Tzuyu shook her head, “I don’t want to, I want to blame your height because we still can’t see snowwhite, dwarf-ssi.”

“Now now, Tzuyu ah,” Sana smiles as she hug Tzuyu from the back, “stop teasing Chaeyoungie. Mina’s gonna eat you alive.”

“Chaeyoung’s the only one she would eat though,” hyoyeon passed by laughing.

It was then Mina’s cheeks turned bright red as she looked at Chaeyoung who almost ran to catch hyoyeon and hit her in the head.

“Why do you like that small creature” Tzuyu clicked her tongue as she asked the woman’s girlfriend, “ I still don’t see how she’s so likable. She has temper issues, swears a lot and has a bad mouth”

“She’s adorable on her own way, “ Mina shrugged, “and I  love her with all those things you just said.”

“whatever,” Tzuyu sighs finally giving up.

“you should probably asked why Sana’s with you. That’s more questionable.” Sooyoung passed by.

Sooyoung pulled Sana into a friendly hug snickered as she looked at Tzuyu, “how can a sweet creature like this be with a creature of darkness like you?!”

Tzuyu sighs as she steps up, "it’s better to be with a creature of darkness than to be with a person with dark armpit.”

“pfft. Hahahahhaha” Sunny passed by laughing, “we can’t win the maknae, sooyoungie. Your armpit’s really dark”

Sooyoung turned beet red at embarrassment, “I’m leaving before I got embarrassed even more. And FYI, at least my armpit doesn’t stink!”

Tzuyu just laughed, entertained by all the unnies she just embarrassed.

“hey what’s wrong Nayeon?” Sana smiles as she saw Nayeon being almost left behind.

“Did your small legs also didn’t help you?” Tzuyu annoys.

Nayeon just looked at the woman with her straight face.

 ‘why does tzuyu have this twisted personality’  she thought. Just after teasing chaeyoung and sooyoung, she’s bored and now went on annoying her too.

Nayeon glares, “ya! It’s gravity! Gravity probably hates me!”

“No gravity doesn’t hate you,” Tzuyu says, “I do.”

“Damn,  someday you’re gonna found dead somewhere and I wouldn’t be surprised,” nayeon says shaking her head.

After a little while,  Sana and the others soon disappeared withing her line of sight because she wasn’t able to keep up with both of them. It’s just her and Momo now, hiking slowly by her side.

It’s the third day of their Jeju Island vacation. The air and the sunlight is on a good condition for Hiking but her feet probably doesn’t think so. Nayeon’s injury last night when she stepped in on the sea urchin hurts, and of course Yoona was right, it swelled up even more. Just this morning when she woke up, she can walk properly but she probably abused it too much on hiking Hallasan Mountain, Yongsin trail is especially quite steep. 

“what happened Nayeon-ah?” Momo asked, as she turnd her head, looking at Nayeon who finally stopped walking.

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Nayeon lied, “You go up ahead.”

“why?” Momo asked, “I want to stay with you.”

“you go ahead,” Nayeon smiled, “go up ahead and get me some drink from Sana, please?”

Nayeon says that just so Momo would finally go ahead. Sana’s already on the peak of the mountain, she knows it and she wants Momo to see the view too. She wouldn’t want to spoil the experience for the woman because she can’t.

A little while more. She decided to sit down there, she gave up looking at the view as she finally settled down just to be in shade of the trees and flowers. She breathes in and out there waiting for them to come back.

She looked down and pull off her shoes. Her left feet are throbbing and it’s so painful, nayeon couldn’t step anymore.

“Nayeon..” The woman looked down to realize it was actually Jeongyeon looking at her steps lower from her, “why are you here?”

Jeongyeon is actually later than all of them because the woman chose to eat breakfast first, saying she’ll catch up with them. And yes, Nayeon just forgot all about that.

“oh nothing,” She replies, “the view doesn’t interest me. I’m tired too.”

Jeongyeon eyed her, “you’re such a bad liar,Nabong.”

It was then Nayeon realizes Jeongyeon is looking on her bare foot, showing her swelling reddish foot. She steps it down to hide it as she realized that the other had seen it. For her, It was very unsightly and the woman felt a bit embarrassed.

Jeongyeon sighs and steps closer, “your injury hurts, huh?”

Nayeon looked away as she finally admitted, “Yeah, a bit.”

“Oh,” Nayeon saw a glint of concern in Jeongyeon’s eyes as she walked quickly towards her.

The woman sat beside her hastily and touched her feet, “does it swell? I’ll.. just probably stay here with you.”

Nayeon glared at her, “I hate you, don’t stay with me. Look at the view there, I don’t want others not to have fun because of me,”

Jeongyeon chuckled because Nayeon’s irritated expression just looks too cute for her. It’s like a rabbit acting like a villain.  Upon finally containing her chuckle, Jeongyeon smiles at Nayeon and said, “then in exchange, do something fun for me.”

“w-what?” Nayoen says. A bit suspicious of Jeongyeon’s mischievous smile as the woman sneakily just sits next to her.

“umm,” Jeongyeon looked up—thinking, “Then why don’t you tell me a story?”

“what kind of story?” Nayeon asked saracstically, “Cinderella? Little red riding hood?”

“ya! jinja,  I don’t mean that! I don’t mean any of those fairytales that feeds young girls with wrong fantasies” Jeongyeon sighs.

“what’s wrong with fairytales? It gives you false hope about love but it’s still romantic on its own way” nayeon shrugged her shoulder.

“obviously, it’s because fairytales doesn’t include lesbians, gay or the LGBT community! What about girls like me growing up and not wanting to marry a prince and then starts questioning what the hell is wrong with me,” Jeongyeon said as a matter of fact.

 Nayeon saw the frustrated look on Jeongyeon’s face and can’t help but giggle. As Jeongyeon heard her, she sighs and starts to laugh too, “Ya, nabong! why are you laughing at me?”

“I don’t know.. I just imagine you having Aurora or Cinderella as your first crush,” Nayeon joked.

Jeongyeon’s face turned poker as her words stayed bland, “for your information, it’s not Cinderella—it’s Belle.”

It was then Nayeon can’t help her loud laughter, Jeongyeon joined in as both of her their head are held back like little kids.

“I’m just kidding, don’t take that seriously, alright?” the short haired woman says.

“I don’t, cause I know who’s your childhood crush. Chaeyoung told me before,” Nayeon giggled, “she said it’s Bae Suzy.”

“Well it’s the truth. She’s everyone’s first love.” Jeongyeon affirmed, Nayeon nods with agreement.

“but what about you though? Didn’t you have a girl crush when you’re younger? Don’t tell me it’s ariel.”  Jeongyeon says in a straight tone.

“Of course not,” Nayeon chuckled, “and besides, I didn’t like girls when I was younger, I didn’t like anyone, actually.”

“why?”

“I don’t know, I just don’t have interest in that, and I don’t like playing with other children. I was incredibly shy I wouldn't play with anyone—well except when Sana comes into my house and pulls me to play with her… Maybe, you can consider Sana as my first crush.” Nayeon smiles as she trails off, remembering how Sana would pull her out the house and take care of her.

‘you don’t have a mother, so I’m gonna be your mother!’ Nayeon remembers young Sana saying that while she's either brushing or braiding her long hair. She was much smaller than Sana back then, and apparently, the taller woman finds her cute like a new born baby rabbit. Even after Tzuyu comes with them, She still acted as her guardian.

Jeongyeon sighs looking at Nayeon, “ but really? Sana? I’d rather pick Aurora and Cinderella.”

There's a look of grimace on Jeongyeon--  like as if it's very unbelievable for her to have Sana as her childhood crush.

Nayeon laughed at the latter's reaction, “Sana's nice you know, I wonder why you have such a bad relationship.”

“we don’t, we just love thrash talking about each other,” Jeongyeon laughs, “besides, I hated her in high school.”

“why?” Nayeon asked, looking at Jeongyeon. Because she didn’t notice any of that happening, at all.

“Because I was jealous of her,” Jeongyeon said and let out a soft laughter.

Nayeon stops as she felt a sudden rush of butterflies in her stomach, she looked down hiding the forming smile on her lips. Jeongyeon looked away, smiling too as she continued,  “later, I realized she actually likes Tzuyu. But let’s not dig up the past. Just let me hear your story now,”

“what story?” Nayeon looked down and picked a yellowish piece of fallen leaves.

 “I mean your story… how’s your life now?  what happened to you these past 3 years, I wanted to get to know you.. again.”

Nayeon felt an ache in her chest as  she looked at Jeongyeon’s eyes and saw it shimmery, because she knows that look all too well. It’s the look she gave when she’s in love—still nayeon refused to realize it, refused to face Jeongyeon’s feelings.

“I don’t know what to say, “Nayeon says, diverting her eyes away from the woman. She’s actually lost for words, and her mind is elsewhere.

Jeongyeon scoots closer to her, “I mean, what’s your work now?”

“I’m a writer now under a Publication in California.”

 “You’re a writer now, huh? That’s amazing. What kind of writer?” Jeongyeon smiles.

“an amateur writer.”

“you know Nayeon that’s not what I mean. I want to know what you write.” Jeongyeon says.

“It’s just a thing... you know, just about dark stuffs.. “ nayeon said, “I don’t think you probably wanted to read it... it’s not your thing.”

Jeongyeon replies as she pats nayeon’s shoulder, “I don’t care.”

Nayeon sighs because she know jeongyeon wouldn’t just give up, “It’s about a person who wants to end her life after experiencing depression and self-hate.”

When nayeon said it, she can’t look at Jeongyeon. She doesn’t want to see the look in her eyes when she says that. She doesn’t want Jeongyeon to know that she wanted to die before, that she had this depression everyone thought was overly dramatic and annoying.

“how did it end?” Jeongyeon asked surprisingly.

Nayeon looked at the ground, “I still don’t know… I’m still writing it.”

Jeongyeon felt her heart screaming, just the thought that Nayoen might have felt like that kills her yet she tried to calm when she wanted to cry and hug Nayeon right there and then.

“ouch!” Nayeon yelled when Jeongyeon pinched her cheeks.

“hurry up and make her a happily ever after, “Jeongyeon laughed.

Nayeon laughed as she pushed Jeongyeon’s hands away, “I don’t know how!”

Then Jeongyeon looked at Nayeon and pulled her into quick hug. As jeongyeon pulled away she looked at Nayeon and caressed her hair, “Just ask me anytime, and I’ll help you give her a happy ever after.”

Of course, Nayeon knew. For Jeongyeon, that phrase means a double meaning—a meaning that Jeongyeon wants Nayeon to give her a chance to make her happy.

“you helped me once, “ Nayeon looked down, “It was all wrong,”

Jeongyeon felt hurt as she heard those words from Nayeon yet instead of giving up, she looked at Nayeon and held her hand,

 “we can try and try and try.. until we got right. Just give me a chance, and we’ll find a way to make her happy.”

“I----“

“Nayeon!” As Nayeon turn around, it was then she saw Sana and the others approaching. Instinctively, she pulled her hands away from Jeongyeon.

“Nayeon-ah, I got your water. Sorry we took so long,” Momo says, smiling as she approached her beloved. And within the smiles and glint of happiness in momo’s eyes, Nayeon felt being eaten by guilt.

“and jeongyeon-ah why are you here? We were waiting for you at the top.” Jessica said.

“I’m tired, “Jeongyeon reasoned out.

Jessica sighs, “that’s too bad you just missed out a beautiful view! It’s magnificent up there!”

It was then Jeongyeon looked at Nayeon and smiled. There it is again, the glimmer on Jeongyeon’s  dark-colored eyes, “It’s fine, I’ve got to see an even more beautiful view anyway.”

As Nayeon hears that, her cheeks turned red. She looked away, pretending as if the woman isn’t referring to her and acting like she isn’t affected by her words. Yet she still can’t comprehend how the woman sends butterflies in her stomach.

“Everyone, Let’s go now?” Tiffany called them, pulling her backupup again.

“Let’ go! I’m hungry~” Yuri said excitedly.

Nayeon tried to stand up. It was then she once again winced with pain. It’s then Momo realized that she’s in pain again.

“Nayeonnie,” momo called her as she walked towards her and sat down in font her, facing nayeon with her back.

“huh?”

Momo’s head turned as she put her hands in her back, gesturing nayeon for a piggy back, “Hop in, I’ll carry you. Your feet hurts, right?”

“I knew it, you didn’t have to force yourself to come.” Tiffany said, looking worried for her friend.

“Let me carry you now,” Momo says.

“She said hop on, princess Cinderella.” Tiffany giggled as she pushed Nayeon to Momo’s back- referring actually to the way she only had one boot wearing.

Nayeon turned her head, to see the painful look in Jeongyeon’s eyes which brought her a familiar ache in her chest. In impulse, she stood up, refusing to be carried by Momo.

Momo looked at her to see that expression of Nayeon’s. She looked pained, “what’s wrong Nayeonnie?”

“No, it’s fine.” Nayeon said shaking her head, “I’ll just go walk by myself.. I feel bad that you’re always carrying me.”

“It’s because I love carrying you. If I could carry in my arms forever, that’ll be good.” Momo chuckled.

Nayeon felt even more bad- on the way Momo shows her love without pretense. Guilt rises up and the troubled expression on her face shows.

Maybe it was then Tiffany realizes how troubled her friend is, so she nudge on Yuri who was able to catch on easily.

“It’s alright,” Yuri said walking between Momo and Nayeon, “I’ll carry Nayeon for now. Since you know, it’s easier for me. It’ll be hard for you to carry her all down the mountains. Trust me, I used to be a weightlifter in high school.”

Momo nodded as she finally gave up, “Just take care of her.”

XX-------------------------------------------------XX

             It’s after yuri carried Nayeon all down from Mt. hallasan that Nayeon saw how tired the older is, that she can’t help but offer the woman for a treat. They walked the market of Jeju and found the nearest ice cream shop, a great treat after all the tiring hiking on mt. hallasan.

"Thanks for carrying me all the way down," Nayeon says smiling.

"Of course," Yuri smiles, "Thank me for lying too. Yoona thought I'm really into weightlifting!!" 

"Aigoo," Nayeon laughs, "Don't worry, Yoona's not turned off"

"Fine," Yuri pouted.

“what would you want Yuri-sunbae?” Nayeon asked the woman as she looked all the choices on the glass, “It’s my treat for carrying me all down.”

“Matcha flavored icecream would be nice,” Yuri said pointing on the green icecream.

“I don’t know what to order.. heol, I usually order strawberry but I want to try this watermelon one.” Nayeon says.

“then what will you order?”

“should I try this strawberry one I’m used to eat.. or this water melon one? It’s a new flavor but I’m scared I wouldn’t like it…. But is watermelon even a good flavor for ice cream?”

“you could try this one ma’m, a mixture of watermelon and strawberry flavor.” The seller suggested.

Nayeon looked over to see and starts thinking again, “That looks delicious but.. maybe I should order strawberry.”

“strawberry it is then,” the woman gestured to get the icecream.

“no,” Nayeon sighs, “Just get me the watermelon one.”

After Nayeon finally getting the watermelon she finally eat it with Yuri. Yuri can’t help but chuckle as she look at the woman,

“You choose ice cream flavor like it’s one of the hardest life decision you’ll ever make.”

Nayeon pouted, “jinja. Stop teasing